by Jan Drexler
“The chicken coop is ready for new chicks. Have you found any for us, yet?”
“Lovina Schrock said she would have some this week.”
“Do you want to take the spring wagon over there later?”
“You’re sure you don’t need the horse?” Bethany stopped sorting clothes, a hopeful expression on her face.
“I need to have a team to get the plowing done. I’ll go to the auction on Wednesday to look for one, but until then, you might as well take him.” Andrew took a step closer to her, watching the way the early morning light gave her face a golden glow. “He’s gentle and well-broken, so you don’t have to worry about him.”
“That would be wonderful-gut, Andrew. Denki. I’ll take Mari with me after I hang the clothes on the line.”
As Andrew turned toward the barn, Bethany stopped him.
“When do you think you’ll be able to plow the garden? It’s past time to get the seeds planted.”
Andrew glanced at the wild profusion of day lilies filling the old garden spot, their orange blossoms opening to the early morning light. If dandelions had been growing there, or clover, or anything else, he wouldn’t hesitate to plow them under and let the nutrients fertilize the garden bed. But lilies? He took a step toward the barn.
“I don’t know when I can get to it. Perhaps you should share Jonah’s garden this year. You’re taking care of it, anyway, aren’t you?”
Her puzzled frown made him take another step away. “I suppose I could share Daed’s, but it would take less than half the morning to plow it, and you don’t need two horses. You could do it after breakfast.”
“I’m busy after breakfast. Too much to do. I really don’t think I’ll be able to plow it this spring.” Andrew turned and walked the rest of the way to the barn.
Taking out those lilies just didn’t feel right. They were beautiful, even in their wild profusion, and Mari loved them. Andrew let his mind drift to the lilies that had grown along the roadside at their Iowa farm. Before the drought started and the dust started to blow, the flowers had been Lily’s delight. She would gather the blossoms and bring them into the house, keeping a fresh bouquet on the kitchen table all through the summer.
Andrew went down the steps to the cellar. Dinah was waiting for him, nosing her feed box. He poured in her feed, then started mixing a bucket of soapy water to wash her before milking.
He thought back to that day in April when the neighbor’s cattle had broken out of their bare, dusty pasture and had eaten every green thing in sight, including the day lily shoots along the road. Lily had cried over them and said, “I know they’re only flowers, but now they’re gone, like everything else.”
And he had laughed at her.
He gazed out the cellar door to the patch of day lilies by the garden. She would have loved to see the flowers here. Why hadn’t he come home sooner? If he had, then maybe she would still be alive.
By the time chores were done and he was back at the house, Mari was up and dressed. She was helping Bethany set the table, but as soon as she saw him, she ran to the door.
“Daed, I’m helping Mamma Bethany.” She threw her arms around his legs.
“That’s good. Give me a kiss, and then keep working until the job is done.” He leaned down to receive a moist smack on his cheek. “And now back to your chore.”
She ran back to the table and finished putting a spoon at each place. Andrew watched Bethany’s back as he hung his hat next on the hook next to the door. She stood at the stove flipping hotcakes on the griddle. He thought she might ignore him, but once she turned over the last cake, she gave him a nod.
“How is Dinah this morning?”
“She’s settling in well. She was waiting for me when I got there.”
“She knew it was breakfast time.”
“Or she wanted to be milked.” Andrew sat at the table just as Mari laid a fork next to his plate. “I’m glad she’s such a gentle cow and an easy milker. Mari will be able to take over that chore in a couple years.”
“I thought we’d start her on the chickens, first. That’s a better job for a little girl.” Bethany put the hotcakes on a plate and set them on the table. She poured coffee for the two of them and put a glass of milk at Mari’s place. “Mari, it’s time to sit in your chair.”
After placing a platter of eggs and bacon in the center of the table, Bethany sat and bowed her head for the silent prayer. Andrew gazed at the top of her kapp before bowing his head. He recited the prayer he had learned as a child in his head, but his thoughts were on Bethany’s comment. Things had gone well between them during the past week, if he didn’t count the friction between Bethany and Rose, but should he stand his ground on this? Or should he let Bethany have her way? By the time he lifted his head, he knew. Mari was his daughter, and he would have the last word in how she would be raised.
“I think it’s better for Mari to learn how to milk, first. Especially since Dinah is such a gentle cow. You know chickens can be hard to handle sometimes.” He helped himself to three eggs and six strips of bacon.
Bethany put an egg on Mari’s plate. “Chickens are easy to take care of. I started when I was four.”
“And you never got pecked?”
“For sure I got pecked. It taught me to be careful.”
“I don’t want Mari to learn that way. She should be older than four before she starts gathering eggs by herself.”
Mari tapped on her plate with her fork. “What chickens?”
Bethany smiled at her. “We’re getting baby chickens this afternoon. When they grow up, they’ll give us eggs.”
“Are they mean?”
“Only if we’re mean to them.” Bethany leveled her gaze at him. “We’ll be gentle with our chickens.”
Andrew finished his eggs and poured syrup on his hotcakes. “We’ll start her out on milking.”
“Chickens. Her hands aren’t strong enough to milk.”
“Milking.” Andrew cut his hotcakes with the edge of his fork.
“Chickens, and that’s final.”
Mari’s round eyes looked from Bethany to him, and back to Bethany. Andrew suddenly realized that he and Bethany were arguing as if they were still children.
“We’ll finish this discussion later.” He held Bethany’s gaze until she nodded her agreement. “Meanwhile, I had a thought about the garden. The spot where it is now is overgrown and too shady in the afternoon. I thought we could put it closer to the road and away from the trees.”
“In the front yard?”
“Between the house and the road. There’s plenty of room there, and it’s in the sun all day.”
Bethany nodded as she sipped her coffee. “Won’t it be more work for you, though?”
“I don’t think so. I’ll have to take out that young maple tree, but that won’t be difficult.”
“It seems like it would be easier to take out the day lilies or move them.”
Andrew laid down his fork and took a deep breath. Was she going to argue with him about every little thing?
“I like the day lilies, and they’re going to stay where they are.”
Mari grinned at him. “I like the lilies. Mamm likes them, too.”
Bethany set down her cup. “I like the lilies, Mari. But there are so many of them. We can cut them back and they’ll still be pretty.”
Mari shook her head. “Mamm wouldn’t like that. She cries when the cows eat the flowers.”
“Oh.” Bethany stood, her chair shoving back. “You mean Lily.” When she faced Andrew, her chin was quivering. “You want to move the garden because Lily liked the flowers.”
He stared at his plate. He didn’t have an answer for her. Didn’t know what to say.
Without a word to either of them, she left the table and ran upstairs. As Andrew met his daughter’s questioning gaze, the bedroom
door slammed.
* * *
Bethany stalked to the window, to the view she had enjoyed until now. Below her was the garden with its profusion of orange lilies. Mocking her.
Andrew wanted to keep the lilies because they reminded him of his first wife. She could understand that. She had kept several things to remind her of Mamm. So why did it bother her so much? She wasn’t jealous, was she?
Slumping on her bed, Bethany fingered the edge of the quilt as all the memories of Andrew’s rejection of her came rushing back. She had almost forgotten it. Almost. Until Lovina brought it up on the Sunday before the wedding. He had rejected her, then moved away, then married someone else. Mari’s mother. The much-beloved Lily. While she had waited at home, willing to forgive him and forget the whole thing, if only he had written to apologize.
But there had been no letter. Only silence. And now she knew why.
One hot tear rolled down her cheek and she pushed it away.
Andrew had fallen in love, and he was still in love. Every decision he made about his marriage to her was made in the shadow of Lily’s memory.
Bethany wiped at another tear. She had been so foolish to enter into this arrangement with Andrew. If she hadn’t been so... Bethany sighed. If she hadn’t been so desperate. She thought this was her chance to be a mother, to have a family of her own. But she hadn’t taken the time to consider what role Lily would take in their lives.
Rose was bad enough, with her constant comments about her daughter and undermining Bethany’s relationship with Mari. But eventually Rose would leave, and Bethany had once thought that they could be a happy family then. But that wasn’t going to happen. Not with Lily’s constant presence in every moment of Andrew’s life.
But then there was Mari. The little girl was confused enough, and when her parents bickered at the table, it only made her life worse.
This wasn’t the family life Bethany had dreamed of. This wasn’t the marriage she had hoped for.
One thing she could do to make their lives better would be to give in to Andrew’s desire to move the garden. She couldn’t expect Mari to forget her first mother, and she didn’t want to. If letting the lilies grow would help Mari, then she would let the patch keep growing in the backyard for her sake.
Bethany stood and gazed at the lilies again. She might have made a mistake when she married Andrew, but it was done. She had to make the best of it, and she would, even if she was only the second best. The second mother. The second wife. And she would do it for Mari’s sake.
Straightening her shoulders, Bethany lifted her chin. Mamm always said that life was what you made of it, and it was time to go back downstairs and start making this life of hers one that would please God. She gave one last tear an impatient swipe and went back to the kitchen.
Andrew had cleared the table and was helping Mari wash her hands when Bethany walked in. He gave her a crooked smile.
“Are you all right?”
Bethany forced her own smile as she nodded. “For sure. I just needed to be alone for a few minutes.” She cleared her throat. “I’ll plan on driving over to Lovina’s house later this morning. I’ll leave a casserole in the oven for your dinner in case we aren’t back in time.”
Andrew dried Mari’s hands. “Don’t bother. I’ll make a sandwich for myself. I know you’re busy enough with the laundry this morning.”
“Denki.” Bethany leaned against the kitchen shelf as he stopped by the door to put on his hat. “And I think your idea about the garden is a good one. The front of the house is a good, sunny spot.”
“I was thinking about that, too.” Andrew paused, framed by the doorway. “The front yard isn’t level and taking that tree out won’t be easy. I’ll cut the day lilies back a little bit and extend the garden on the other end.”
Bethany nodded, accepting his compromise. “I’m glad we could work it out.”
“We can work out anything as long as we do it together.” Andrew gave her one last smile, then went back to the barn.
Mari tugged at Bethany’s skirt. “Are you sad?”
Bethany kneeled so she was level with Mari. “I’m not sad. I only needed to think about some things.”
“Daed said you were sad.”
“I was for a little while.”
“Why?”
How could she say what she felt so that Mari would understand? “You and your father loved your mother very much.”
Mari nodded.
“You miss her and that makes you sad sometimes.” She drew Mari close and looked into her eyes. “I never met your mother, but I need to help you remember her. I don’t want you to forget her.”
“That’s what Mammi Rose said.”
“We’ll keep the day lilies growing to help you and your father remember her. Would you like that?”
Mari grinned. “And we won’t let Dinah eat them.”
Bethany laughed. “We’ll keep Dinah far away from them.” She stood up. “Now, it’s time to wash the dishes and then we need to get started on the washing. We have a lot to do today.”
That afternoon, when Bethany and Mari drove back into the yard with a box of chicks in the wagon, James was waiting for her on the back step. When he saw them, he ran over.
“Do you need help with anything?”
“Ja, for sure,” Bethany said, pulling the wagon to a halt. “You can unhitch the horse while Mari and put the chicks in their new home.”
James took Whiskers’ bridle. “I’d rather help you with the chicks.”
“Then we’ll take care of the horse together, and then the chicks.”
As James led the horse into the barn with Mari beside him, Bethany asked, “What brings you over today?”
Her youngest brother made a face. “Rose is at our house.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“John says she’s got her eye on Daed, and I don’t like it.”
“You’ve heard her say she isn’t interested in marrying again, didn’t you? I think she only wants to talk to someone her own age.”
James shrugged. “Maybe.” He unfastened the harness on one side while Bethany did the other with Mari’s help. “She sure makes a good dinner, though.”
“What did she fix?”
“Fried chicken, potatoes, green beans and biscuits. And she made a pie for dessert.”
Bethany peered under the horse to catch James’s eye. “She made all that on a laundry day?”
“She sure did. And she was on the laundry porch even before Daed got up, working away. She had the clothesline full by the time I went out to do chores.”
They hung up the harness and Bethany took Whiskers into his stall while James pushed the spring wagon into its place. Rose must have gotten up long before dawn if she had finished the laundry that early.
Bethany picked up the box of chicks and the three of them walked out to the chicken coop. “What makes John say she has her eye on Daed?”
“They are always smiling at each other.” James looked up at her. “I haven’t seen Daed smile this much for a long time.”
Mari ran ahead to the pen Andrew had built for the chickens and waited until Bethany opened the gate. “Can I hold one?”
“We’ll close the gate first, and then I’ll help you hold one.”
When she set the box on the ground, the peeping intensified as Bethany lifted the lid. The chicks stretched up their necks, trying to climb over the edge of the shallow box. As James lifted them over the side of the box and set them on the dusty ground, Bethany picked up one fuzzy yellow ball and put it in Mari’s hands, keeping her own hands cradled underneath.
Mari’s eyes widened as she held the chick. “It’s a baby.”
“For sure, it is. It will grow up right quick, though.”
“Its feet tickle.” She giggled. “Can I hug it?”
“Little chicks are too fragile to hug. Let’s put it down so it can get a drink.”
Andrew had filled the water can for the chicks while she had been gone and a bucket of cracked corn sat next to it. While the chicks crowded around the waterer, James showed Mari how to scatter the corn.
Once the chicks were settled, it was time for Mari’s nap. James followed them into the house. By the time Bethany had made sure Mari was on her way to sleep, she came back into the kitchen to find James sitting at the table with a glass of milk and a plate of cookies.
“I thought you said you had a big dinner.” Bethany covered her mouth, trying not to laugh at her little brother.
“That was at least an hour ago,” James said, taking another cookie. “Where is Andrew?”
“I’m not sure. I thought he might be at your house, since we didn’t see him in the barn.”
James swallowed his cookie, then drank the milk in big gulps. Bethany broke a cookie in half, and took a bite, waiting for James to tell her why he came over. It had to be more than to spend time with her. James never did anything without a purpose behind it.
“These are good cookies,” he said, taking another one. “You make the best cookies.”
“Better than Daed?” Bethany couldn’t help teasing him.
“For sure. Better than Aaron, too.”
“Aaron made cookies?” Bethany couldn’t imagine Aaron working in the kitchen.
James wrinkled his nose. “He tried. They were all flat, and they burned. He gave them to the pigs.”
“You can take the rest of these home with you, if you want to.”
James shook his head. “I’m not going home.”
“Why not?”
“It isn’t the same without you there. I want to live here.”
“But what would Daed do without you?”
“He has John, and Nathaniel, and Aaron. He doesn’t need me. But you do. I could do your chores for you and help Andrew.”
His eyebrows went up as he looked at her, his expression as hopeful as a puppy begging for scraps.
“You know that Rose lives here, and I thought you didn’t like her.”