by Jan Drexler
Andrew leaned back in his chair and rocked it a few times. “Were you and Lemuel happy?”
Her eyes widened again. “I’ve never thought about it. Happy?” She shrugged. “He worked, and I worked. I raised Lily and he raised corn and wheat.” Her chin quivered as she pleated the edge of her apron again. “He could be a hard man sometimes, and I was glad when Lily married you. You are a gentle man, and a good husband and father.”
Andrew stood and looked into the front room, making sure Bethany wasn’t around to hear what he was going to say next. He sat down on the swing next to Rose.
“I loved Lily, and I still do. When we moved to Iowa and I met Lily, though, the reason why she was attractive to me was that she reminded me of Bethany. If Lily hadn’t passed away, we would have continued building our farm and our family, and we would have been very happy.” He took a breath. “But if my family had never moved west, I would have married Bethany. I think I loved her once, and I think I might love her again.”
Rose drew a breath to answer him, but he stopped her.
“From what Lily told me, I’m not sure you and Lemuel had the kind of loving marriage Lily and I had, and the kind I hope to have with Bethany.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Maybe not. But I do know that Jonah will love you with all his heart. Whether your marriage to him is happy or not, and whether Bethany and her brothers accept you as a stepmother or not is up to you. You know you can be difficult, but you can choose not to be. You can choose to be the loving wife and mother Jonah and his family deserve.”
“It isn’t that easy.”
“I know that. It takes practice. But isn’t it worth trying for Jonah’s sake?”
Rose nodded. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.” She looked at him with a thoughtful expression on her face. “I wouldn’t be surprised if God called you to be a minister someday.”
Andrew shook his head. “Not me. I’m not the minister type.”
“You never know. God’s ways are not our ways.”
* * *
On Thursday morning, Mari climbed the stairs ahead of Bethany, carrying the dust mop.
“I mop, right, Mamma?”
“That’s right.” Bethany smiled as she helped Mari lift the long mop high enough to clear the last step at the top. It was good to see Mari bright and cheerful again.
“Which room should we clean first?” she asked.
“Mamma’s room.” Mari pulled the dust mop down the hall.
As Mari tackled the floor, Bethany dusted the window frames, her blanket chest and the table next to her bed. Mari knew the routine, and they soon had the sheets off the bed and replaced with clean ones.
“I like working,” Mari said as they went to her room next.
“I like working with you,” Bethany said.
“Is it fun?” Mari grinned at her.
“For sure, it’s the best fun there is.” Bethany gave Mari a hug.
By the time they finished, it was time to start dinner. Rose was in the kitchen, humming as she peeled some boiled eggs.
“I thought you were making dinner for Daed and the boys today,” Bethany said as she and Mari put the dust mop and rags away.
“I finished their dinner early and put it in the cellar to cool. As warm as it is today, I knew no one would want a hot dinner.”
Rose cracked another egg and Bethany picked one up to help her. Rose hesitated before she started peeling the egg.
“I wanted to ask for your forgiveness.” Her voice was quiet and ended in a quaver.
Bethany shrugged. “There’s nothing you’ve done that needs my forgiveness.”
“I treated you terribly when I first met you. I resented you taking my daughter’s place, and I was wrong.”
Rose had rushed through her words, but when she got to the last one, she glanced at Bethany, as if she was afraid.
Bethany’s first thought was to brush it off. Rose’s treatment of her had hurt, but it was in the past. Then she saw the older woman’s quivering chin. She needed Bethany to forgive her.
“Now that you’re marrying my daed, I think I know how you felt. It’s hard to think of someone taking Mamm’s place.”
“Especially someone you dislike?” Rose concentrated on peeling the egg in her hand.
“I don’t dislike you.”
“You did. I know you asked Andrew to send me home.”
“That was weeks ago. Now I’m glad he refused. What would we have done without you when Mari was sick?” Bethany finished one egg and picked up another. “Besides, no matter how I feel about you moving into Mamm’s place in our family, you make Daed happy. I haven’t seen him smile so much in years.”
“But you still resent me marrying him.”
Bethany shrugged, glancing sideways. “I’ll get used to it.” She nudged Rose with her elbow. “And Mari won’t know any different. You’ll always be her Mammi Rose and Datti Jonah.”
Rose looked at her with a genuine smile. “I think we’ll all be just fine, don’t you?”
“For sure, I do.”
After a cold dinner, Andrew asked Bethany to come with him for a walk.
“Aren’t you going to take a nap?” Bethany asked.
“I don’t take naps. I just rest my eyes.”
“I take naps,” Mari said. “I like naps. I make up happy ending stories.”
Rose started clearing the table. “You two take your walk. Mari and I will rest together in the front room.”
Bethany followed Andrew out the kitchen door and toward the barn as Jenny met them and fell into step with them.
“What are you going to show me?”
“I’ve been working on something and I wanted to show it to you.”
She followed him down the steps to the cellar. He turned away from the dairy to the other end of the cellar. Before they reached the corner, Bethany could smell a telltale odor.
“You got a pig?”
Andrew leaned over and scratched the pig’s back. “Jonah gave her to us. She’s due to farrow soon, so we’ll have our own ham and bacon by winter.”
“That will be delicious,” Bethany said, looking at the sow with more interest, wondering when the piglets would be born. As much as she disliked hogs, she had enjoyed playing with the baby pigs when she was a girl. Mari would love them, too. Then she looked more closely at the sty. “Is the fence made out of porch rails?”
He grinned. “For sure. I replaced Dr. Hoover’s porch posts and rails, and he gave me the old ones. There was plenty of usable wood to build the sty.”
“That was convenient.” She scratched the sow’s hairy back. “Now that I’ve seen her, can we find some fresh air?”
Andrew led her out through the dairy and the pasture gate to the garden. Bethany stared at it, trying to figure out why the orderly rows of plants looked so different.
“The lilies are gone?” She turned to Andrew. “What happened to them?”
“I took them out.” He led the way to the springhouse, where a stone bench sat in the cool shade.
“Why did you do that? I thought you wanted to keep them.”
“I took them out because they reminded me of Lily and my old life.”
“Wasn’t that why you wanted to keep them?”
“I have a new life now, and it’s time to put the past behind me.”
Bethany sat on her hands, wiggling her toes in the black dirt. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Nearly losing Mari has woken me up to some things.”
“Like what?”
“Like how important it is to hold loved ones close.”
Bethany nodded.
Andrew leaned his forearms on his knees and tented his fingers together. Bethany watched a black ant climb over her toe and back down onto t
he path. The minutes stretched as she listened to the insects hidden in the grasses and the bird calls in the woods.
“Custard,” Andrew said, startling her. “That’s your favorite pie. And blue is your favorite color. You like frogs and snakes, but you don’t like bugs.”
Bethany stared at him.
“You like fresh-baked bread and watching the stars at night. And your favorite flowers are purple lilacs.”
He glanced at her.
“You like a clean house, but you don’t like scrubbing the floors. You like to watch the fireflies in the evening.” He scooted closer to her. “And you like babies.”
She felt her face heat in a blush at that and looked down at her toes again.
“I know you, Bethany. We’ve been friends our entire lives, and I realized recently that I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time.”
When she dared to look at him again, he took her hand and held it.
“You are not my second choice for a wife. You are my first choice. You’ve always been my first choice.”
“But you married Lily.”
He nodded. “When I thought you had married Peter. I thought you had forgotten all about me.”
“I would never forget about you. How could I?”
Andrew squeezed her hand. “I’d like to start our marriage again, and this time as a real marriage.” He put his arm around her and drew her close. “But I have to know. Dave told me he thought there was another man you had feelings for, and that’s why you turned down all those marriage proposals. I have to know who it is.”
Bethany laid her hand along the side of his face, looking into his eyes. “It was you. It’s always been only you.”
When he kissed her, Bethany realized that a kiss on the cheek would never be enough again.
* * *
The hot summer days gave way to September and even though the days could still reach sweltering temperatures, the nights brought a fresh coolness. Rose and Jonah planned their wedding for the second Tuesday of the month, and the couple looked forward to the day with the excitement of teenagers. But Andrew still wondered if older folks could be as happy as he and Bethany were.
He paused in his afternoon milking as he thought of the depth of the love that had grown between the two of them, but Dinah didn’t let his mind wander very long. She swung her tail at him until he remembered his task.
As he covered the milk pail and put it in the springhouse, he heard Jenny barking. The postman had come, and Andrew jogged out to the mailbox to see what he had brought. There was only one envelope. A letter from Mamm in Iowa. He took it into the house, ready for his supper.
Mari ran to greet him at the door, and he scooped her up in a bear hug, then sat at the table with her on his knee.
“A letter came from Mamm,” he said, slitting the envelope open.
Rose and Bethany turned to watch him as he unfolded the letter.
“It’s addressed to all of us.” Andrew read the first few lines to himself. “She says Grossmutti has passed on.”
Bethany sank into the chair beside Andrew while Rose turned to the window.
“Such sad news.” Rose sniffed and wiped her eyes with the corner of her apron. “What will Martha do now?”
“She says she thought of moving in with my brother, Noah. But he and his wife live with her parents on their farm and are barely making a go of it.”
“Then she must come here,” Bethany said in the firm voice that told him her mind was made up. “We can make room for Martha or build a Dawdi Haus for her. She belongs here. This is her home.”
Andrew frowned, watching the envelope in his hand. “Are you sure?”
“We will find a place for her.”
“Rose,” Andrew said as she sat in the chair across from them. “What do you think?”
“Bethany is right. She belongs here. I think I have an idea.” Rose tapped the table with her forefinger as she considered it. “I’ll need to see what Jonah thinks, but what if he and I went to Iowa? We can help her pack her things and sell her farm, and I can put my farm up for sale at the same time.”
“I thought you didn’t want to do that,” said Bethany. “You were adamant about keeping it.”
Rose raised her eyebrows. “I was wrong. It’s time to sell the place. Or try to sell it. My home is here, with all of you.”
“Would you go now? The wedding is only a week away.” Bethany took Mari into her lap as her daughter tried to get her attention.
“We won’t travel before the wedding. We can make it our wedding trip.” Rose smiled at the thought.
“Mamma, who is coming here?”
“We’re going to ask Mammi Martha to come,” Andrew said. “Would you like that?”
“Two mammis are best.” Mari held up three fingers. Ever since her birthday in August, three fingers had represented every number.
“I’ll talk to Jonah about the trip right away,” Rose said, rising from the table. “As soon as he agrees, we’ll send a letter telling her our plans.”
Bethany couldn’t help laughing at Rose’s enthusiasm. “What if Martha doesn’t want to come?”
“She will.” Rose went to her room for her cloak and bonnet. When she came out, she was tying her bonnet ribbons under her chin. “Martha is a sensible woman, and she always agrees with my plans.”
After Rose left, Bethany and Andrew looked at each other and burst out laughing.
“What is funny?” Mari asked, looking from Bethany to Andrew.
“Not funny.” Bethany hugged Mari. “Just fun. We like to see Mammi Rose when she’s happy.”
“She left before she could eat her supper,” Andrew said. “Do you mind if we go ahead and eat? I’m starving.”
“For sure we can.”
Bethany set the table with Mari’s help as Andrew read the letter again. Mamm sounded sad, but relieved at the same time. Her mother had been very ill for a long time, and in much pain for most of that time. Grossdatti had passed away only months after Daed. Mamm would need a nice, quiet place to live where she could be taken care of instead of being the one to care for sick loved ones.
“I think Mamm should have her own home, rather than living here with us.”
Bethany opened the oven door to take out the casserole she had made for their supper.
“You don’t think she’ll want to live in this house? It was hers for so many years.”
Andrew shook his head. “She writes that even though she misses her mother, she is enjoying the peace and quiet of living on her own, without needing to be responsible for anyone else.”
Bethany lifted Mari onto her stool, then sat in her chair. They bowed their heads for the silent prayer, then Andrew scooped a spoonful of the chicken and noodles onto his plate.
“Where would Martha live if she didn’t move in with us?” Bethany asked.
“The Dawdi Haus on Jonah’s farm is still empty, isn’t it?”
“Not for long. Aaron and Katie are moving into it after they get married.”
Andrew set down his fork. “When is that going to happen?”
“In November, I think. I heard Aaron talking to Daed about getting the Dawdi Haus ready for them.”
“Then we’ll have to build one here.”
“I’m surprised that there isn’t one already.”
“There has never been a need for one until now.” Andrew helped himself to more noodles. “Where do you think we should build it?”
“There isn’t very much level ground, except out in the fields.” Bethany helped Mari cut her noodles into smaller pieces. “We could build it into the hill, like this one was.”
“Maybe on the other side of the lane, just past the big tree. My grandfather used to have a sheepfold there.”
Bethany nodded. “It’s a pleasant spot, yet close enough to the house so
she can come over whenever she wants.”
“Or enjoy the company of her granddaughter.”
Bethany grinned. “I’m looking forward to having her here. I hope she agrees to the plan.”
“We’ll find out soon. I’ll write to her as soon as Rose tells us what Jonah said about her idea of traveling out there.”
“If I know Rose and Daed, they will be going.”
Andrew caught Bethany’s gaze and smiled. He caught her hand in his and squeezed it. “You are a wonderful wife. You know that, don’t you?”
“I know you think so, and that is enough for me.”
She smiled back at him with no trace of discontent. He was truly blessed.
Epilogue
In November, it was time to celebrate Aaron’s wedding.
Andrew had helped Aaron make repairs to the Dawdi Haus, and Bethany had helped Rose and Martha with the finishing touches. By the time they were done, the little house looked fresh and new. Aaron had wanted it to be a surprise for Katie, and Bethany could hardly wait to see what she thought of it.
The wedding was going to be held at the Miller home, and Bethany helped with the preparations along with the other women in the church, but on the day of the wedding itself, she had no responsibilities and could enjoy the day.
She and Mari sat next to Lovina and Rachel in the back rows of benches during the worship service. When the time for the wedding vows came, Bethany held Mari on her lap, reliving the moment when she made her own promises to God and to Andrew. Promises that she no longer wondered if she would regret.
After the wedding, Lovina made Bethany sit at a table with Mari and little Rachel. “You need to take things easy. I’m sure you’ve worked much too hard already today.”
“Not that hard, but you’re right. It will feel good to sit down for a while.”
Lovina frowned at her. “You haven’t told Andrew yet, have you?”
Bethany held a finger up to her lips. “Not yet. Not until I’m sure.”
“It’s been three months. I think you are as sure as you can be.”
“I’ll tell him tonight, after we’re home.”
Mari tugged on her skirt. “Tell him what?”