by Regan Black
After a brief discussion, they made their final selections and the wedding planner left to put everything into motion. This was good practice in case they had to throw a reception for Fox’s family when they got back to Roaring Springs.
After everything Fox had done for her, the least she could do was leave him breathless when he saw her walk into the chapel tomorrow. When they returned to the Crooked C, her focus would shift to being the best assistant possible.
Leaving the baby with the sitter, she and Fox went out for dinner and on to watch a professional hockey game. Kelsey couldn’t recall ever feeling so relaxed. With Fox by her side, John in expert hands and miles of distance between her and any threat, she marveled at her first taste of pure freedom.
But by the second intermission, they were both missing the baby and laughing at themselves as they agreed to go back to the suite. In John’s room, they stood for several minutes, just watching him sleep.
“Thank you for this,” she whispered as they left the baby’s room.
Fox skimmed a hand over her hair. “You keep saying that, but I promise, you’ve done more for me, Kelsey.”
His sincerity was etched on his face, gleaming in the depths of his gorgeous blue eyes. “Your hair is lovely down.”
“So you’ve said.”
“I love—”
Her heart stuttered.
“—the way it warms in sunlight.” He twirled his fingers into a lock of her hair and followed the wave of it to her shoulder.
Her breath caught in her throat. She’d debated cutting her locks short while they were here, but she couldn’t do it now. A few more weeks storing up the way he gazed at her with that stark longing and blatant appreciation would hold her for the rest of her days.
If her father had ever looked at her mother with more than dutiful respect, Kelsey had never seen it. Fox was so much more than she’d ever known to hope for. “Take me to bed. Please?”
“Isn’t that bad luck?” he teased. He bent close, his lips grazing her temple, the shell of her ear, the column of her throat.
“Fox,” she begged. “We make our own luck.”
He scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom where they put the honeymoon ahead of the wedding ceremony in the best possible way. Every woman should know the joy and pleasure of being loved with all her gifts and flaws.
Kelsey came awake the next morning to the sweet sounds of Baby John happily playing in his crib. The baby monitor was better than any alarm clock.
She rolled over, but Fox was up and out, the sheets and pillow cool to the touch.
Today was her wedding day. No matter the method or madness, she would leave Las Vegas as Mrs. Fox Colton. The notion was a dizzying prospect and for a moment, she just basked in anticipation.
“It’s my wedding day, John.”
Kelsey rolled to her side, smiling as Fox’s deep, mellow voice came through the monitor. The baby cooed. She often wanted to do the same thing when Fox spoke.
“I’m the luckiest guy in the world,” Fox continued. “She’s a beauty and smart as a whip. And a great baby-care teacher,” he finished with a laugh.
She smothered her own chuckle as she listened to Fox changing and dressing John. “You think she’d like it if you joined us today?”
Yes! She would. It would make for an interesting story when they shared the wedding pictures with friends and family.
The conversation faded as Fox left the baby’s room for the kitchen to fix Baby John’s first bottle.
She listened to the normal sounds, as familiar here as they were at the house on the ranch. It was so hard not to beg him for the forever they would promise each other in just a few hours. What would Fox say if she told him she’d fallen hopelessly in love with him? The baby too, though that was even more treacherous territory. Mason might still claim his son.
What would it do to Fox if he did?
She knew he was as attached to the child as she was. More, probably, although Baby John’s sweet and easygoing personality made him irresistible to her.
After a quick shower, she dressed in jeans and a cable-knit sweater and wound her hair into a messy bun. The baby, in the bouncy seat, saw her first and kicked his legs, a big smile on his round face. His tiny fists opened and closed as if he could pull her to him.
“Good morning, handsome.” She planted a kiss on the top of his head.
Fox turned, his smile warming her from the inside out. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”
“Uncaffeinated.” She looked over and noticed he’d set out a mug for her, along with a spoon and saucer for her creamer. “You’re a saint for letting me sleep in.”
He shrugged. “Just call me the smartest groom of the day.”
“Maybe.” She filled her cup, added cream and let the aroma swirl around her for a moment. This was heaven. “I know we have a head start on traditional couples, but I think we’ve got this morning routine down.”
“Almost,” he said, aiming a spoonful of cereal at Baby John’s mouth.
“What did I miss?”
He tapped his cheek, still shadowed with overnight stubble. “You skipped me.”
She obliged, then nudged him aside to take over the feeding. “Go on and clean up.” The coffee always got Fox going in the morning, but nothing woke him up like a shower.
“But you’ll get messy.”
“The salon will fix me.” She made a silly face at the baby and he laughed, cereal oozing down his chin.
It was her wedding day and she was happily feeding a baby. Not an ounce of resentment or frustration in her heart. Strange that with Baby John she was willing to go the extra mile while raising her siblings had felt like crushing responsibility.
“Maybe it’s maturity,” she said to the baby in a sweet singsong voice. “Or the company.” More likely it was the awareness that this little guy had options in life and however he’d come into the world, he was cherished now.
Did all brides have this weird mix of nostalgia and hope on their wedding day? A fake bride should probably just focus on playing her part. Especially one who couldn’t drum up the courage to ask the groom about making it real.
* * *
Fox stood at the front of the chapel with the minister he’d met yesterday. The man reminded him of Santa Claus with the white hair, robust build and a rosy-cheeked smile. Quick with a joke, he kept Fox’s heart rate closer to normal.
Then Kelsey walked into view and the world just went still. Every cell in his body riveted onto the vision of his beautiful bride.
She’d had her pick of dresses from elaborate to fanciful. He assumed all of them would have looked lovely on her. But the warm, ivory-colored lace that left her shoulders bare and flowed with the graceful curves of her body stole his breath. Her hair was a mass of curls piled high on her head, with luminous pearl drops scattered through.
Like a moth to flame, he took a step toward her before the minister stopped him with a word.
The baby, perched on the sitter’s knee in the first row, bounced up and down, delighted to see her. Yeah, buddy, Fox thought. I agree 100 percent.
With the soft melody of classical music carrying on the air, Fox nearly called a halt to her short walk down the aisle so he could tell her he wanted their marriage to be real from the start.
Every step brought her closer to him and his heart swelled with joy. At Baby John’s happy gurgle, her gaze moved to the infant and her face glowed when she saw him in a tuxedo that matched Fox’s.
“You’re quite a pair,” she said as she took her place.
“You approve?”
She nodded, her smile brilliant as the minister began the ceremony. When it was time, they vowed to love, honor and cherish each other. He willed her to hear the heart-deep promise of his words. When she said her vows to him, he believed she meant every word, as
well.
He was still wishing it was true when the minister declared them husband and wife and invited him to kiss his bride. He did, pouring all the promises he intended to keep into that sizzling meeting of lips.
They were officially married and his wild, impromptu wedding idea was complete, just like that.
Fox held the baby for a few pictures, wondering how much time Kelsey would give him before she used her newfound freedom to move on to greener pastures.
He didn’t wallow in the “what next.” It was impossible to be melancholy when she was beside him, beaming at him, at the baby and at the camera that would soon splash this news on outlets around the world.
She played her part to perfection and he followed her lead. No matter that his heart was already breaking in anticipation of her walking out of his life.
Chapter 14
By the time they boarded the plane the day after the wedding, Kelsey knew something was off. Fox was increasingly polite and more distant with every minute since the champagne toast that had followed the ceremony.
She adjusted Baby John, dozing on her shoulder, and tried to sort fact from the rising panic in her heart. She was terrified he was having second thoughts. Except every time she replayed that moment when he’d spoken his vows, she knew he’d meant it. It was a strange concept, to treasure someone, and it made her wonder about the layers of love she’d never considered.
She’d seen mothers cherish children and she’d watched fathers glow with pride. Protection was love in action, filtering down in various ways. Fox had elevated protection when he’d married her, effectively laying the world at her feet.
There was a hum of happy energy coursing through her system that she couldn’t quite harness. Underneath it was the skeptic she’d learned to be, waiting for all that happiness to be yanked away.
Working side by side with Fox she’d fallen in love with the way his mind worked. Strange to dissect it that way, but it was true. She’d been raised to be a wife, to defer to and support and obey her husband in all things.
After escaping the confines of her family, she hadn’t expected those early ingrained lessons to leap back to the fore as soon as she said I do. Yet here she was, eager to do whatever she could to ease the burden currently weighing on Fox.
Their first kiss as husband and wife had curled her toes, nearly eclipsing the remarkable pleasure of their first kiss. She chalked it up to the awareness and significance of their decision. They were officially tethered for life. Even if they divorced in the future, he’d be her first husband for the rest of her days. Was there any hope that this relationship, what they shared right now, would be enough?
“Did you hear from Mason?” she asked as another explanation for his somber mood occurred to her.
“Not yet,” he replied without looking up from his cell phone.
“Have I done something wrong?” She cringed, hearing the echo of her mother’s defeated voice in the question.
His gaze snapped to hers over his reading glasses. “No.” He deliberately set aside his phone and took her hand. “You’re perfect.”
“We both know I’m not,” she said.
“We’ll have to agree to disagree on that. Why did you ask?”
“You’ve been increasingly quiet since the wedding,” she told him. “And not in your typical work-distracted way.”
“I’d rather have this conversation when we’re home,” he replied. “Privately.”
She fought the sting of tears, just to keep from upsetting the baby. “I’m sure you would.”
When her father had said those things, they would get home and the moment the door closed, the punishment landed. Fox was not her father. She repeated it over and over. Fox had overcome a similar father. His temperament was completely different.
“Kelsey.” He stroked the length of her arm and she realized she was shaking. “Let me take the baby.”
“No.”
On her shoulder, Baby John squirmed in his sleep, restless because she was struggling with a well of emotion she hadn’t prepared for. But she couldn’t bear to feel that alone, set apart from both Fox and the child. It would be too much like her childhood, where her father dictated everything from thoughts to emotions to discipline.
“I... I...” When his hand touched hers, she clung.
“Easy,” he murmured in the soothing voice he used with the horses. “Talk to me.”
“You first.” She prayed he’d open up while she gathered the bits of her shattered composure.
“Here?”
She nodded. “Please.”
“Fine.” He dropped his head back on the seat, his gaze on the panel overhead. “I can’t stop wondering how soon you’ll move on.”
“You want me to move on?”
“Of course.”
Her heart dropped like a stone. That should be music to her ears, her soul. The freedom to go and do as she pleased. It was central to why she’d agreed to this marriage. What was wrong with her that a stunning ring, a few words and some publicity photos changed her entire mind-set?
“You can’t be my assistant forever.”
No, I’m your wife. She longed to be his partner in life and work. Apparently marrying Fox had snuffed out her wanderlust. She didn’t want to move on.
“There’s more for you to do and learn, more you want to do,” he was saying.
“Yes,” she said when he paused. His face clouded over, though not in anger. She wanted to keep growing in her field, but given the chance, she thought she could do that and be his wife.
Kelsey rocked John gently on her shoulder. And raise his children. She could hardly believe she’d had such a thought, but when she turned it around, she knew nothing else could make her happier.
“Sweetheart...” He lowered his voice, leaned in close. “We don’t have to set hard dates right here and now.”
A measure of relief whispered through her. That would give them time for love to grow.
“I want you to have choices, to be fulfilled. To be safe wherever your dreams take you.” He gave her fingers a squeeze, brushed a soft kiss across her temple.
Her dreams had led her to him. A brilliant man who understood the science of building a better quarter horse. A kind and generous man who had been totally stressed out and uncertain about caring for a baby but had stepped up like a champ.
“I’m overwhelmed,” she admitted. “I didn’t expect to be.”
She hadn’t expected any of the emotions tossing her about like a leaf on the wind.
With his hand joined with hers and the baby snoring on her shoulder, she relaxed, heart and mind. Fox was right. What she had to say and what she needed to hear were best handled in the privacy of his home.
* * *
Fox couldn’t get Kelsey’s reaction on the plane out of his mind. Her tear-filled eyes, the quaking and the unsettling questions. He suspected her past had reared up. His own rocky upbringing had informed his recent choices, as well.
Primarily, Baby John. A child should grow up knowing love and stability, having the opportunity to make mistakes without fear of violent repercussions. Good grief, he and Kelsey were living and breathing proof of the long-term effects of living in fear.
He could breed the best horse possible, but that horse would never reach its potential if hampered by fear of pain.
He didn’t want to hold Kelsey back or make her feel obligated to stay, but keeping his feelings locked down was making him quiet in a way that clearly distressed her. He had to get the words out there, where she could analyze and assess. He couldn’t expect her to decide anything without all the facts out in the open.
And loving her was an irrefutable fact.
While she settled the baby down for what remained of the night, he checked his email and put the phone on speaker to listen to the messages.
“Fox?
Mason. Look, I just can’t take on the kid. Parenting was Elaine’s dream.” His next words were muffled, but Fox was sure the sentiment wasn’t kind. “I’ll sign off on the paternity rights and you can do whatever you need to do with the baby.”
The line went dead, and Fox stared at the phone.
“Do whatever?” Kelsey echoed. “Glad Baby John is too young to hear that.”
“Me, too.” Fox went to her. “I’ll erase the message as soon as I talk with Trey. I didn’t hear you come in. How’s the little guy?”
“Down for the count.”
“You have a way with him,” he said before he thought it through. To his relief, she smiled.
“True. You do, too.” She held up her phone. “We made it home before the story hit the news.”
“That will make it easier to field calls from the family,” he said.
She ducked her head, trying to hide the grin and then simply let it burst free.
“Imagining how your family will react?”
“Yes.” She flung her arms wide and turned in a circle. “How can I ever thank you enough? I’m so happy and relieved.”
He crossed the room. When had holding back ever worked in his favor? They wouldn’t be legally married now if he’d kept the idea tucked away in the “she wouldn’t go for it” column.
Slowly, giving her room to react or retreat, he wrapped her arms around his waist and linked his hands at the small of her back. Only when they were holding each other did he let the words tumble free. “I love you, Kelsey Lauder Colton. Whether you live here as my wife for a year or for always, I love you. That won’t change.”
“Fox...” she breathed.
He interrupted her with a soft kiss. He had to get everything out. “You heard Mason’s message. If he won’t step up as Baby John’s father, I plan to.” As he spoke, the excitement of being a father rushed through him. “That boy won me over on my doorstep, but you smoothed out what was sure to be a rocky path. Hell, it’s likely to get sticky again on occasion.