I watched with a smile as an elderly couple twirled each other around. Their love was apparent with how they gazed at each other, the smiles on their faces, the way they moved together as one.
“Yellow,” Jax said, snapping my attention away from the couple.
“Huh?”
“You’re happy,” he said.
“I am,” I said with a nod, my smile widening. My gaze wandered back to the older couple, who were now slow dancing, cheek to cheek.
“Good.” Jax took my hand and spun me around into his arms.
I gasped with surprise, but easily fell into the rhythm. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he tightened his hold, drawing me closer. Despite the slower melody of the music, my heartbeat was fast. And when Jax lowered his mouth to mine, my heart thrashed even harder.
His lips landed on mine with purpose, his kiss dominant and packed with emotion. He moved his hands to rest on my waist, and I tangled my fingers in the hair at the base of his neck. Desire built inside of me.
“There it is,” Jax whispered, his eyes dark.
“What?” I asked breathlessly.
“My favorite color.”
I shook my head.
He grinned. “What can I say? It looks good on you.” Releasing me, he took my hand. “C’mon, it’s almost time for the main event.”
We walked silently back to his car, the music fading behind me. I had no idea what else he had planned, but nothing about this evening had been typical Jax. Then again, I’d never actually been on a date with him before. Maybe all of this was normal for him.
Once we were back in his car, he drove across town and pulled into an empty parking lot. The massive brick building loomed in front of me, but there were no signs to indicate what this place was.
I followed Jax to a non-descript door located in the back of the building. He glanced around, then jiggled the door handle. It was locked. He knocked twice, and then the door swung open.
A short, curvy girl with long blonde hair and hazel eyes waved us inside. “Hurry up before someone sees you.”
I glanced at her as I walked in. The girl had to be my age, maybe a year or two older. She was gorgeous, and I couldn’t help but wonder how Jax knew her. Jealousy swirled inside of me, and I narrowed my eyes. What was Jax up to?
“Here.” She tossed a set of keys to Jax. “Lock up when you’re done.”
“Thanks, Kat.” Jax kissed her on the cheek, and then the girl left.
I curled my hands into fists. “Who was that? And where are we?”
Jax chuckled. “Don’t be jealous. Kat’s just a friend.” He held up the keys. “She works here, and I convinced her to let us use the facilities for a few hours.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask how they’d become friends and how close they were, but something else he said stuck in my brain. “Facilities?” I asked.
“Yup.” He nodded for me to follow him.
He led me down a hall that reminded me a lot of the hallways at school. Then he pushed open a set of double doors. Lights flickered on when we entered, and an Olympic sized swimming pool took up most of the room. It looked exactly like the pool at my old high school in Florida.
My jaw dropped. “We’re going swimming? Why didn’t you tell me? I don’t have a bathing suit.”
“Telling you would’ve ruined the surprise,” he said, moving around me and tossing the keys onto a nearby bench. “Besides, you said you’d do anything as long as we didn’t get hurt or arrested.”
He yanked his shirt off over his head, and it was like someone had punched me in the gut with a blunt object. Smooth skin covering hard muscle greeted me, and I had to bite back the urge to groan. He was definitely more muscular than Trent, which only added to the dangerousness that was Jax. He reached for the button on his jeans, and my jaw dropped.
“Oh, no,” I said, covering my eyes. “I am not skinny dipping.”
His laughter had heat rising in my cheeks. “Who said anything about skinny dipping?” he said.
I dropped my hand and glared at him. When we’d been locked up, he asked me if I’d ever skinny dipped, and I’d told him no, so it wasn’t a farfetched assumption that that’s what he had planned right now.
Jax stripped down to his boxers and held out his arms. “See? No different than swim trunks.”
Some of the tension eased from my shoulders.
“Though, if you want to skinny dip, I’m game.” He gave me a wicked smile.
Not even Trent had seen me naked. There was no way I was stripping down to nothing for Jax. “Uh, no,” I said.
“Bra and panties are no different than a bikini, right?” Jax asked, taking a few steps toward me.
My body stiffened.
“C’mon. You promised to do whatever I planned.” Hesitantly, he took my hand, his touch firm and comforting. “Please?”
I did have a tank top on under my shirt, so I could leave that on, too. I wouldn’t be any less covered than if I were wearing a swimsuit. Finally, I nodded.
Jax smiled triumphantly.
Rolling my eyes, I stripped down to my bra, panties, and tank top, and then I dove into the water, not giving Jax enough time to stare. When I resurfaced, he was at the top of the diving board. He jumped, did a perfect back flip, and landed gracefully in the water.
“Show off.” I splashed him.
He lunged at me, and I squealed, attempting to get away, but he was much faster than me. Grabbing me around the waist, he tossed me over his shoulder. As soon as I hit the water, I swam away, but when I surfaced, he was right in front of me.
I shook my head, but I couldn’t stop from laughing. “That’s no fair,” I said.
We swam for what seemed like hours, splashing each other, taunting and teasing, until I couldn’t swim a moment longer. My legs ached, and I was out of breath. I wiped water from my face and smoothed my hands over my head, hoping my hair wasn’t a complete train wreck.
“You’re glowing,” he said, head tilted, eyes squinted.
“I wish I could see what you do.” I moved toward the edge of the pool and leaned against it, needing to give my legs a rest. The water lapped around me, the motion soothing. “I bet it’s cool,” I said.
Silently, Jax moved so he was in front of me. “It is,” he said. “Especially when a person is as emotional as you are. It’s like a kaleidoscope of colors all the time.”
I furrowed my brow. “I am not emotional.” But there was no sincerity in my words.
He was absolutely right—I was emotional, more so lately than ever before. Though, I had a lot of reasons to have such a myriad of feelings.
“Let’s see about that.” He gripped the edge of the pool on either side of my head, effectively boxing me in. “Right now, you’re yellow.”
I stared at him, waiting to see what he’d do next.
“You should ditch Isach and go to the dance with me instead,” Jax said.
I laughed. “I’m not doing that.” Even though the idea was tempting.
“Why not? You know you’ll have a lot more fun with me.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“Probably, but ditching Isach would be mean and rude, and I’m not doing it.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “So, knock it off.”
Jax chuckled. “Now you’re a greenish-yellow. Annoyed.” Then his lips landed on mine, and I arched into him, welcoming his kiss.
“Red,” he mumbled and deepened the kiss.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he lifted me effortlessly, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his waist. As soon as I did, I was overcome with desire. The only other time I’d been this close to him was the night he’d bitten me, and then moments like this had all been nothing more than dreams.
But now, actually being with him like this, feeling his bare flesh beneath my hands, hearing his ragged breaths as he kissed me deeper and deeper… It was all too much.
He could easily push me past my limits and break every boundary I had in place if I wasn’t carefu
l. Every nerve in my body screamed for more, but my soul physically ached for something more meaningful.
Kissing Jax was euphoric, but it was also very physical. I didn’t have the same connection with him that I had with Trent, and I wanted so much more than just physical gratification.
I broke away from his kiss and dropped my legs from around his waist. “I’m starving,” I said, hoping he didn’t notice the sudden change in my demeanor. “Swimming always makes me hungry.”
Jax studied me for a moment, and I held my breath, wondering if he’d see something in my aura. If he did notice something, he didn’t say anything.
“Me too. I know a great pizza place,” he said.
I sighed with relief.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN:
Emotional Reset
WHEN JAX DROPPED ME OFF AT his house, it was well after midnight. I’d texted Whitney to let her know I was almost there, and she told me to come in. Just walking into their house, though, was weird, especially when Jax was leaving to go back to the lodge.
“Thanks for tonight,” I said. “I had fun.”
“I’m glad,” Jax said. “Are you sure I can’t talk you into coming back to the lodge with me?”
My heart raced, and my skin prickled. He’d mentioned that on the drive home, but I’d laughed it off, thinking he was joking or trying to get a reaction from me. Now I realized he’d been serious.
I couldn’t figure out what his motives were for asking. Did he want to bite me again? Was he hoping I’d have sex with him? Or was he just desperate to stop me from sleeping in the same house with Trent?
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said softly.
He nodded, but his expression was full of disappointment.
I leaned across the center console, gave him a quick kiss goodbye, then climbed out of his car. My steps were heavy as I headed toward the porch. Between walking around downtown Malone for hours, swimming, and then gorging on pizza, I was exhausted. Thank God I could sleep in tomorrow. If I could even fall asleep in the first place.
I gave Jax a wave, then opened the front door and stepped inside. The kitchen light was on, but the rest of the house was dark. I had no idea who was here, other than Whitney. Yawning, I quietly made my way toward her room.
“You and Jax were out late,” Trent said.
I gasped at the sound of his voice. How did he know I was with Jax?
He stood in his bedroom doorway, dressed in cotton pajama pants and a T-shirt. His hair was messy, as if he’d been running his hand through it repeatedly. The mere sight of him stole my breath, and then the guilt sucker punched me harder than it ever had.
Wincing, I clutched my stomach and fought not to double over. I blew out a slow breath and counted to ten. I hadn’t done anything wrong tonight. I was free to be with Jax. Yet, seeing Trent standing there, expression vacillating between hurt and longing, I knew that everything I’d done tonight had been wrong.
“Are you okay?” Trent was beside me, his hand on my back.
I nodded. “I’m fine.” I straightened and forced a smile.
“You don’t look fine,” he said. “You’re not sick again, are you?”
“No.”
“Then what’s wrong?” He crossed his arms, his face a blanket of concern.
I glanced toward Whitney’s room. Her door was closed. Was she already asleep? Or was she waiting up for me? If she was asleep, that meant I’d have to try to sleep, too, and I already knew that wasn’t happening for me tonight.
If she was awake, she was going to want details about my night, and I wasn’t sure I could tell her. Not because it was bad, but because I couldn’t handle the guilt that was currently trying to destroy me. Talking about tonight was only going to make it worse.
“Chloe?” His voice was soft.
The sound of him saying my name with so much love caused my heart to splinter, and once that crack opened, there was no closing it. I stepped up to him and rested my forehead against his chest.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, shaking my head.
Trent’s entire body went stiff. “Did something happen tonight?”
“No. I just…” I sighed heavily. “The guilt is killing me.”
He eased back and gently tilted my chin so I was staring into his piercing blue eyes. “Guilt for what?” His tone was as sharp as his gaze.
“Hanging out with Jax.” I pulled away from his hold and took a step back. “Every time I’m with him and then I go home, I’m crushed by guilt. All I can think about is how I’m betraying you.” Tears pooled in my eyes, and I blinked to prevent any from falling.
Trent was silent for a long while, and I couldn’t begin to imagine what he must be thinking. My shoulders slumped, and I yawned again. All I wanted was a good night’s sleep, to fall into a peaceful, uninterrupted slumber, free of worries and nightmares.
“You can sleep in my room tonight, if you want,” Trent said.
Suddenly, I was very wide awake. “What?”
“Clearly you’re not sleeping again, so if you want to sleep in my room, with me, you can.” He pinned me with an unwavering stare.
My heart beat triple time. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in Trent’s arms and sleep, but how could I do that when I’d just been on a date with Jax? Not to mention, spending the night with Trent would make me want everything I couldn’t have, and I wasn’t strong enough to deal with all the awkwardness of the morning after.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said, and the crack in my heart widened to a chasm.
“Right.” Hurt flashed across his face.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I could sleep in his room tonight and be okay. This could quite possibly be his way of trying to make amends. If I stuck to my guns and said no, did I risk losing Trent forever? Maybe tonight was the opening I needed to mend our relationship.
I shifted on my feet. “Why?” I asked.
“What?”
“Why did you ask me to sleep in your room? Is it because you know I’m not sleeping, or is there another reason?”
Trent paced a few steps away, rubbed the back of his neck, then returned to stand in front of me, closer than he’d been a moment ago. I stared up at him, held my breath, and waited for him to say he wanted to get back together.
“Every time I close my eyes, all I see is you and Jax together, and it’s killing me, Chloe.” His voice was full of broken desperation. “I have all these thoughts about what the two of you could be doing, what he’s saying to you. I can’t stop wondering how close you’re getting, if you’re starting to love him more than you love me.”
A fresh wave of debilitating guilt slammed into me, and the tears I’d been holding at bay spilled free. I really was betraying Trent. I closed my eyes, unable to look at him anymore. My lips trembled, and I cupped my hand over my mouth.
Trent wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on the top of my head. “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he said.
“You didn’t,” I mumbled, returning his hug.
Even though it had been Trent’s idea for me to explore my feelings, I’d agreed, so this was my fault. His pain. My guilt. All of it was on me. And I couldn’t do this anymore. I needed to stop going out with Jax, and I needed some distance from Trent, too. At least until the dance when I had to make my final decision, but until then… I was officially hitting the emotional reset button.
I lingered in Trent’s arms for a few more minutes, and then I forced myself to back away. “Good night,” I said, and then I went straight to Whitney’s room without looking back. Closing her bedroom door, I leaned against it and took a deep breath.
Whitney stared at me with a curious expression. “What happened?” she asked.
I shook my head.
Whitney was off the bed and enveloping me in a hug before I could say anything. I soaked in her concern and solidarity, hoping it gave me the strength to face the next couple of hours. Days. Weeks.
“Tell me what happ
ened.” Whitney took my hand and dragged me toward the bed.
I flopped down. “Where’s Abby?”
“She’s still out with Wyatt.”
“Oh.” I rubbed my hands over my face, and then I told her all about my date with Jax, my conversation with Trent in the hallway, and how I suffered from horrible guilt every time I was with Jax.
“Wait, Trent asked you to sleep in his room. With him. And you’re in my room because…?” Whitney said.
I laughed at how utterly confused she seemed. “Because I can’t spend the night with him and then wake up tomorrow to find out nothing’s changed between us.”
“But how do you know nothing’s going to change? Tonight could be the night everything changes,” she said, her tone full of conviction.
I wanted to believe her, to have hope that tonight could be a major turning point for me and Trent, but he never said anything about wanting to get back together. He was just jealous, and it was clear he still didn’t trust me. That was a far cry from wanting to fix our relationship.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, startling me. I pulled it out, and my heart stopped at the message on my screen.
Trent: CAN YOU PLEASE COME TO MY ROOM? I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
I held up my phone to show Whitney.
Her eyes widened, and then she shoved me off the bed. “Go!”
I stumbled, but I couldn’t stop from laughing. She could be more dramatic than Abby at times. “At least let me change first,” I said.
My clothes were still damp from swimming, and I smelled like chlorine. I dug through my backpack—where I’d shoved pajamas and a change of clothes that morning before school—and quickly changed into cotton shorts and a T-shirt.
Feeling slightly better, I left her room and walked the short distance to Trent’s room. I barely managed to knock before he swung the door open.
“I’m here,” I said.
“I was wrong,” he said, dragging his hand through his hair. “I never should’ve told you to go be with Jax. I thought it was the right thing to do, that it was something you needed to do, but…” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
I nodded because I had no idea what to say.
Eternal Bond : (The Cursed Series, Book 3) Page 34