by Meg Rosoff
“Oh, don’t you worry your head about such things, young Betty,” Pa Peachey had said with the optimistic smile of a madman. “It will all turn out just fine.”
How do you know it will all turn out just fine? Betty thought. Her father had turned into a happy freak, whistling and smiling every minute of the day, thinking only pleasant thoughts and not at all interested in reality.
“It’s so creepy,” Ollie said. “I wish someone would take him away and bring back the old Pa Peachey.”
“All this good cheer is maddening,” Ava said. “Especially first thing in the morning. It’s like the real Pa Peachey has been abducted by aliens.”
“We used to know where we were with the old Pa. Now anything could happen. He might break into song at any moment. Or start telling us how much he loves us.” Ollie looked frightened.
Ava shook her head sadly and returned to reading Fear and Trembling by Søren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher.
“While we’re on the subject of personality change,” said Ma Peachey, “does anyone know where Betty has gone?”
“She’s probably upstairs in the cupboard,” said Ollie.
“Hmmm,” said Ma Peachey with a frown. “Has anyone seen McTavish?”
“Also probably upstairs in the cupboard,” said Ollie.
“Hmmm,” said Ma Peachey with another frown.
Ma Peachey entered Betty’s bedroom, got down on her hands and knees and crawled to the back of Betty’s wardrobe. She knocked on the secret door.
“May I come in?” she asked.
“Yes,” said Betty.
“Woof,” said McTavish.
Ma Peachey crawled in. It was very crowded in the tiny space.
“Hello,” said Ma Peachey. “I hope I’m not interrupting.”
“You’re not,” said Betty.
“Betty,” said Ma Peachey. “Are you worried about your new school?”
Betty looked at Ma Peachey. McTavish looked at her too.
“I thought so,” said Ma Peachey.
Betty said nothing.
Ma Peachey kissed Betty’s hair. “I think you’ll find that it is terribly difficult the first day, a little bit difficult the second day, but by the third day it will hardly feel difficult at all.”
“How do you know?” asked Betty.
“Well … I just do,” said Ma Peachey.
“What if you’re wrong?” asked Betty. “What if it’s terrible the first day, unspeakable the second day and worse than anything that’s ever happened in all of human history on the third day?”
“I would be immensely surprised if that turned out to be the case,” said Ma Peachey.
“But it’s possible,” said Betty.
Ma Peachey sighed. “I guess we will just have to wait and see.”
9
New School
Betty zipped up her new tartan skirt. She buttoned her new white blouse. She pulled her new jumper over her head. She brushed her hair, she washed her face and she headed downstairs for breakfast.
“Well, Betty,” Pa Peachey said in his cheerful voice. “We’re both new kids today. I don’t know about you, but I certainly am nervous! What if no one talks to me at lunch? What if everyone forgets my name? Ho ho ho, that would certainly ruin my day!”
“Your name will be engraved on your office door,” Betty said. “No one will forget it.”
“Ha ha! Good point,” Pa Peachey said. “Well, I’d better be going. Doesn’t do to be late on your first day now, does it? Good luck, Betty. Cheerio! Pip pip! Ta ta!”
Ma Peachey sighed and kissed her husband goodbye. She’d married a pessimist and now found herself living with Mr Happy‑All‑The‑Time. It was confusing, to say the least.
“Come along, Betty,” Ma Peachey said gently. “Have some toast and then McTavish and I will walk you to school.”
Ollie and Ava didn’t start school for another week, so they were still in bed. But they both leaned out of their bedroom windows to wave goodbye. “Good luck!” they called.
McTavish wagged his tail.
The neighbourhood was filled with children on the way to school. Betty looked at each child they passed out of the corner of one eye. They all seemed too old or too young to be in her class, and everyone seemed to be walking with a friend or a group of friends. Occasionally someone stopped to admire McTavish, but nobody stopped to admire Betty.
At last they arrived at the new school.
“It will get better,” Ma Peachey said as she kissed Betty goodbye. “Trust me.”
Betty kneeled down to kiss McTavish goodbye, but for once he didn’t stare into her eyes with sympathy or offer his paw. In fact, McTavish didn’t seem at all interested in Betty. Ears pricked, nose in the air, legs stiff, eyes focused on the middle distance, McTavish suddenly lunged forward with the force and speed of a racing car. The lead flew out of Ma Peachey’s hand.
“McTavish!” cried Ma Peachey. “Come back!”
“McTavish!” called Betty. “Come back!”
“McTavish, stop!”
“McTavish, sit!!”
“McTavish, heel!!!”
But McTavish was off. If he could hear Betty and Ma Peachey calling, he gave no sign.
“Come back!!” Betty shouted again. And then she began to run. She couldn’t see what McTavish was chasing, but she had to stop him.
“Come back, Betty!” cried Ma Peachey, and she set off running as well.
“Stop!” Betty and Ma Peachey both shouted. “Stop that dog!”
All the children who’d gathered outside the school gates for the first day of school saw a furry golden streak attached to a red leather lead fly past. Nobody could see what it was chasing.
“Stop that dog!” shouted one mother.
“Stop that dog!” shouted a teacher.
“Stop the doggie!!” shouted a group of girls.
“Grab his lead!” shouted some boys.
“Tell him to sit!” shouted a father.
“Stop him!”
“Grab him!”
“Get him!!”
“Hold him!!”
And then with one voice, the parents, the children, the teachers, Betty and Ma Peachey all shouted, “STOP THAT DOG!”
But McTavish didn’t stop. He kept on running until the whole school was running after him and everybody was shouting “STOP!”
They ran up one side of the playground and down the other. They ran clockwise round the school, chasing McTavish, then they turned and ran back the other way. They ran in through the front door and out through the back door. They ran up the stairs and down the stairs. They ran through the car park and all around the netball courts.
“Stop running this instant or you shall have a week of detention!” shouted Mr Moriarty, the assistant head teacher.
“Stop running this instant or you shall have no pudding for a month!” shouted Miss Peckish, the dinner lady.
“Stop running this instant or you will not appear in the Christmas play!” shouted Miss Ibsen, the drama teacher.
“Stop running this instant or you shall be excluded from school for ever!” shouted Miss Stern, the head teacher, forgetting that McTavish didn’t go to school in the first place.
McTavish did not stop.
In fact, he seemed to be running faster than ever.
10
GOTCHA!
The entrance to Betty’s new school was scattered with schoolbags. Children leaned panting against walls or sprawled flat out on the ground.
A few of the sportier students still chased McTavish, who seemed to have slowed slightly. At one point, he looked over his shoulder to see how many people still chased him.
The moment that McTavish looked over his shoulder was the exact moment that Mr Scrubbins, the school caretaker, jumped out from behind the bike shed and grabbed him round the middle.
“GOTCHA!” Mr Scrubbins cried.
McTavish was caught fair and square. He didn’t even struggle, possibly because he was feeling quit
e puffed.
Everybody cheered.
“Mr Scrubbins caught McTavish! Mr Scrubbins caught McTavish! Mr Scrubbins is a hero!”
Ma Peachey approached Mr Scrubbins.
“I am so terribly sorry,” she said. “I cannot tell you how ashamed I am of our dear McTavish. He is normally the best behaved dog in the world, but today he seems to have lost all control.” She gave McTavish a severe look.
Mr Scrubbins chuckled. “There’s no harm done,” he said. “Everybody’s had a good run, and no one minds a bit of excitement on the first day of school. Do we, kids?”
“No!” shouted all the kids.
“Of course they’ve missed their first Assembly, but I bet no one minds that either.”
“No!” shouted all the kids.
“I don’t think anyone will ever forget this particular first day of school,” said Miss Stern, the head teacher. And although she did her very best to live up to her name, she did smile a little.
Ma Peachey was relieved that no one was angry.
Well, she thought, this has been a most exciting morning, but it’s time to take McTavish home.
“Come along, McTavish,” Ma Peachey said.
But where was McTavish now?
She saw a large group of children standing in a circle. At the centre of the circle was Betty. And in Betty’s arms was McTavish.
Stepping closer, Ma Peachey could hear bits of conversation.
“I wish I had a dog like McTavish.”
“He is so adorable.”
“Could I come to your house after school and play?”
“You’re so lucky. Your dog is amazing.”
“Can I pat him?”
“How old is he?”
“What breed is he?”
“Can I hold his lead?”
“If I came round to yours, could we take him to the park?”
In the middle of the circle, Betty was answering questions. When McTavish suddenly turned and swiped her face with his tongue, everybody laughed, including Betty.
A girl standing right behind Betty leaned over and said in a quiet voice, “Will you sit with me in class?”
Betty turned to look.
“Jasmin!” she cried. “Are you in my class?”
Jasmin nodded.
“I think it’s time for everyone to report to classrooms,” said Miss Stern, the not-very-stern head teacher.
“And I think it’s time for McTavish to go home,” said Ma Peachey. She kneeled down to hug Betty and whisper in her ear. “Is it OK if we leave now?” she asked.
Betty nodded.
“Of course we’ll be right here to pick you up after school,” Ma Peachey said.
“With McTavish?” chimed all the children at once.
“With McTavish,” said Ma Peachey.
“See you later, McTavish,” Betty said, and kissed his furry head.
“See you later, McTavish,” said Jasmin.
“See you later, McTavish!” shouted all the children together.
See you later, thought McTavish with a satisfied wag of his tail.
11
The Most Well-Behaved Dog in the World
“Come along, McTavish,” Ma Peachey said. “What a morning you’ve had! Running around like a wild thing, getting the whole school to chase you.”
McTavish glanced up at her with an innocent expression.
Ma Peachey smiled. “I don’t know how you do it, but you always seem to make things better.”
McTavish trotted alongside Ma Peachey like the most well-behaved dog in the world.
They walked along for a little while in silence. Ma Peachey was running over the events of the morning in her head.
One thing bothered her.
“McTavish,” Ma Peachey said. “What on earth were you chasing? I never did see what it was.”
It is worth remembering that one of the great advantages of being a dog is that you don’t have to answer awkward questions. In fact, being a dog makes answering questions optional pretty much all of the time.
So it wasn’t really a problem that McTavish decided not to answer Ma Peachey’s question.
All that day, Ma Peachey worked in her new office at the top of the house. When it was time to pick Betty up from school, Ma Peachey put McTavish on his lead and headed back down the road. When they arrived, the children all gathered round McTavish as if he were a celebrity.
Betty came out of the school door arm in arm with Jasmin.
“How was your first day?” Ma Peachey asked. But she already knew the answer.
That night at dinner, Betty couldn’t stop smiling.
Pa Peachey, however, did not whistle. He did not sing. He did not smile. He did not chuckle. He did not once say, “Always look on the bright side,” or “Isn’t it grand just to be alive?”
Instead, he muttered moodily, “A job is basically just a lot of work.”
Ava and Ollie looked at each other.
Then he grumbled, “A job is just years of miserable toil from cradle to grave with the occasional day off for good behaviour.”
Betty and Ma Peachey exchanged glances.
“In fact,” Pa Peachey said, “you could say there is nothing in life so miserable as a job.”
From his basket in the corner, McTavish raised his head and pricked his ears.
“Even a new job,” Pa Peachey added. “Which is pretty much the same as any other job. Only more so.”
Ava grinned.
Ollie punched the air.
Ma Peachey leaned over and kissed her husband on the cheek.
Betty got up from her chair and hugged him.
This was the Pa Peachey they knew. This was the grumpy, miserable, crabby, bad-tempered Pa Peachey the family knew and loved.
“Welcome back, Pa!” they all chorused at once, but Pa Peachey just frowned.
Then Betty told Ava and Ollie the story of McTavish chasing round and round the school, and how it led to her making lots of new friends.
“But what was McTavish chasing?” Ava asked. “A cat? A burglar? A cat-burglar?”
“Yes, what was McTavish chasing?” Ollie asked. “A zombie? A ghost? A monster?”
Everybody looked at McTavish, who was dozing happily in his comfy bed.
“McTavish?” Ma Peachey asked, fixing him with the sort of direct gaze that nearly always worked on Ollie, Ava and Betty.
But McTavish merely opened one eye halfway, looked back at Ma Peachey with an expression of total innocence and then closed it again.
“Well,” said Ma Peachey, “I suppose we may never find out what McTavish was chasing.”
And then she smiled to herself, wondering if McTavish had actually been chasing anything at all.
“She didn’t want to be the new girl.
She didn’t want to make new friends.
What if no one at the new school liked her?”
Betty is worried about starting a new school where she doesn’t know anyone, and in the end McTavish helps her make some new friends. But even if you don’t have a trusty rescue dog to lend a paw, you can use these tips to make friends at school!
1. Find people who share your interests
Maybe you’re a football fanatic, a budding baker or mad about music! Look out for the chance to get involved with your hobbies at school, or join in with conversations about things you’re interested in.
2. Try a new activity
Meeting new people through your old hobbies is a great idea, but it can be even more fun to try something new. Join some after‑school clubs to learn a sport or skill and meet new people.
3. Start a conversation with someone new
If you see someone sitting alone, it’s the perfect opportunity to strike up a conversation. Try asking them about themselves – maybe you’ll discover something you have in common.
4. Be a good listener
Once you get talking to someone, it’s important to listen closely to what they’re saying. Ask questions and show that you�
�re interested – they’ll want to talk to you more.
5. Give someone a compliment
It always makes people feel good to get a compliment, so if you see something you admire about a classmate, let them know! You’ll come across as friendly, and it’s a great way to start a conversation.
6. Help someone out
If someone looks like they’re struggling, offer to lend a hand. Maybe they need help carrying something heavy, or perhaps you can help them with a tricky question or problem in class.
Meg Rosoff grew up in Boston, America, and moved to London in 1989. Her first novel, How I Live Now, has sold over one million copies in 36 countries. Meg has written seven other novels and her books have won or been shortlisted for 23 international book prizes. In 2016, Meg won the Astrid Lindgren Memorial Award – the world’s largest children’s literature award – the chair of which said of Meg’s work, “Each novel is a little masterpiece.” Meg lives in London with her family – and their dogs.
“No one writes the way Rosoff does … I love her fizzy honesty, her pluck, her way of untangling emotion through words” Daily Telegraph
“Rosoff’s writing is luminously beautiful” Financial Times
“A voice so stridently pure and direct and funny that you simply can’t question it” Guardian
Meg Rosoff says, “I recently met a dog in my local park with a big head, short legs, wearing a tartan coat and with more attitude than any human I’d ever met. His name was McTavish and he clearly needed a book written about him. The real McTavish hasn’t met the excellent people at Barrington Stoke yet, but I feel certain he’d love them.”
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