He wanted to kiss her again, wanted to taste those sweet, pink lips once more, to crush her to him just as he had at the start of their trip. Even more than that, he could feel Elise wanting to be kissed. She craved this—ached for his touch the same way he ached for hers. Merrick leaned toward her…
And she turned suddenly away, a look of misery on her face. “Um, so the bath?” she said, not meeting his eyes. “Okay or not? I mean, are there any poisonous fish or reptiles I should watch out for?”
Merrick let out a sigh and tried to curb his lust. Inside his tight black pants his shaft ached, the mating fist throbbing with need. Even his fangs had joined the chorus, begging to pierce the soft flesh of her neck as he pierced her pussy down below.
“Not in a stream this size, no,” he said at last, forcing himself to regain control. “You go ahead and wash—we can reapply the camouflage later. Just don’t get too close to the Deep Blue. Once you cross over, things get a hell of a lot more dangerous.”
“Will we be all right in there?” she asked, wide eyed. “I mean, how hard do you think this skrillix plant is going to be to find? And what does it look like anyway?”
Merrick frowned. “It’s a vine—a creeper about as thick as your wrist. It winds itself around tree trunks and it has other, smaller branches sticking off of the main one.”
Elise looked with dismay at the Deep Blue. “But…there are hundreds of vines and they all look the same. They’re all that deep indigo blue.”
“The skrillix has two distinguishing characteristics,” he said, feeling a little like he was giving a lecture. “First: long, curving thorns about as long as your finger.” He held up one of his own fingers to illustrate. “Whatever you do, don’t get scratched. They secrete a hallucinogenic compound that’ll make you wish you’d never been born—it’s why the skrillix is called the ‘pain vine.’ The Ancient Ones use it as a kind of truth serum sometimes.”
“Wow. Okay, got you.” Elise nodded. “What else?”
“Bright red berries as big as the end of your thumb,” Merrick said. “Those are the key—we need to bring some back with us, still attached to the branch.”
“Why still attached?” she asked. “It seems like it would be much easier to bring back a pocket full of berries than a whole entire branch.”
“It would,” Merrick admitted. “But it’s not possible—they begin to rot the minute they’re picked. The only way to keep them fresh enough to be useful is to keep them on the branch.”
“And do you think the skrillix will be hard to find?” she asked, repeating her earlier question.
Merrick frowned. “It's sacred to the Ancient Ones, so they keep a pretty close eye on all of the skrillix in their territory. But they keep mostly to the center of the Deep Blue. If we’re very lucky, we might just find a stray skrillix growing around the perimeter and get back to town without meeting them at all. That would be our best case scenario.”
Elise bit her lip. “What would the worst case be?”
“You don’t wanna know,” Merrick said darkly. “But if we do run into the Ancient Ones, you stick close to me. I’ll protect you.”
“I know you will.” To his surprise, Elise laid one of her hands on his—the first time she’d voluntarily touched him in what seemed like forever. “Thank you, Merrick,” she said softly. “I’m sorry things are…difficult between us. But thank you for keeping me safe.”
He looked at her, searching her deep brown eyes for a long moment. Gods, she was beautiful. Why did she have to be forever out of his reach? “That’s all right, baby,” he growled softly. “I’ll keep you safe for as long as you let me. Wish I could keep you safe forever.”
Elise’s eyes were suspiciously bright. “That’s very sweet of you but…” She broke off, shaking her head.
“But what?” Merrick urged her, wanting to know. Hoping she would talk to him at last.
She blinked rapidly and a single silver tear made its way down her cheek. “If you knew me…really knew me, maybe you wouldn’t feel that way,” she said in a low voice.
“That’s not true,” he said roughly. “I don’t care about your past—I don’t give a fuck what happened then as long as you’re here with me now.”
She shook her head and at first he was afraid he had pushed too hard, afraid she would start denying anything had happened again. But she didn’t. She simply wiped away the tear and looked at him again.
“I care about the past,” she said at last in a soft, broken voice. “And you should too.”
Merrick sighed tiredly, feeling a thousand years old. So close and yet she was still pulling away. “All right,” he said. “We’re not going to get anywhere talking about it now—not when we’re both so damn tired. But will you come to me tonight? At least let me hold you and feed the hunger?”
Elise looked down at her hands. “I think that would be all right,” she said in a low voice. “As long as we don’t do anything, you know, sexual.”
“I understand.” Merrick said gently. “Nothing you don’t want, baby. I just want to take care of you.”
She looked up again, her eyes so filled with sorrow his heart ached for her. Gods, if only she would open up to him, if only she would tell him. He opened his mouth to ask, and then closed it. He didn’t want to push her away again. She’d practically promised to come to him and let him hold her that night. Merrick didn’t want to ruin that so he kept silent.
“Thank you,” she said at last, swiping at her eyes. “Uh, I think I’ll go ahead and wash up now.”
“And I’m going to go scout around for some yanyan leaves for us to sleep on.” He pointed a finger at her. “I won’t be gone long and xenoxes don’t like water so you should be fine as long as you stick to the stream and stay away from billibs. And whatever you do, don’t go into the Deep Blue alone.” He thought it was important to emphasize that, considering that the Ancient Ones were so active at this time.
“Don’t worry,” Elise said with a shiver. “I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll stay right here—I promise.”
“Good.” He nodded and rose, dusting his hands on his pants. “I’m going to stay in this immediate vicinity. If you get into trouble, just yell for me.”
Elise nodded. “Of course.”
Giving her one last look, Merrick stepped into the foliage and went looking for the leaves to make their bed for the night—a bed he hoped like hell they would share.
* * * * *
Elise sighed after he left. God, it was exhausting how emotionally charged every encounter between them was! She wished she could have expressed how she felt about him—told him about the revelation she’d had after they had killed the xenox. But the words had stuck in her throat—it wasn’t fair to do that to him. Wasn’t fair to tell him she loved him in one breath and explain that they could never be together in the next. Because they couldn’t—no matter how she wished they could. It just wasn’t possible.
She thought about the vault, filled with dirty secrets and memories so horrible she couldn’t even bear to remember. Whatever was in there was bad—so bad that if she let it come out into the main part of her brain, she might never be the same again. The AllFather had done that to her—had forced her to relive those ugly times—and it had nearly driven her insane. Only the time she’d spent in the stasis chamber had allowed her to push everything back where it belonged—behind the vault door. I can’t go through that again, she told herself. I can’t. And it isn’t fair to Merrick to tell him how I feel when there’s no hope of us ever being together. I’d be better off just going through with our original plan of dissolving the bond and going back to James.
She knew from experience that her fiancé wouldn’t push her to remember her past. Why would he, when he barely listened when she talked about her day? With sudden clarity, Elise realized that was one reason she’d agreed to marry him. James was safe. He didn’t pry, didn’t demand that she tell him about her past and trust him to still love her. He had never asked for the key to
her heart.
We’ll be like two strangers living together, Elise thought sadly, as she began to strip off her clothing in preparation for her dip in the stream. Two very cordial, friendly strangers, but two strangers all the same.
Merrick would never allow that, she was certain. The big Kindred demanded a level of intimacy that Elise wasn’t sure she could give. He wanted to know all of her—not just the surface part she presented to the world at large. But that was frightening—after years of living inauthentically, Elise wasn’t sure she even knew herself.
She was stripped down to her crimson bra and panties when a softy whinny interrupted her train of thought. Surprised, Elise looked down to see the tiny pale blue pony nosing at her calf. No, not a pony—a billib, she reminded herself. And I promised Merrick I wouldn’t have anything else to do with them.
She was about to shoo it away when the pony neighed and nudged her leg again… melting her heart. After all, she reasoned, the little fellow had followed her for miles through the jungle—a significant distance for such a small animal. And Merrick had said that she was safe by the water. So what harm could it do to just say goodbye to the tiny creature?
“Hey, little guy.” Elise put out her hand and the pony trotted onto her palm without hesitation. When she brought it close to her face, it nuzzled her cheek and snorted. Its breath smelled sweet, like honeysuckle and wedding cake frosting.
Unable to help herself, Elise cuddled the little animal for a minute. The pony whickered softly and nudged her, obviously loving the attention. Elise wished for a moment she could keep him but then she remembered her apartment didn’t even allow cats or dogs—let alone strange alien creatures that looked like a My Little Pony doll come to life.
Regretfully, she sat the little creature down on the blue-gray grass growing on the banks of the stream. “Sorry little guy, but this is goodbye. I’m really impressed that you followed me here but you’re going to have to go back to your family or herd or whatever you call them. So go on—go.” She made a gentle shooing motion but the pony just stood there staring at her, its head cocked to one side as though it was trying to understand.
“Look,” Elise told it. “Tomorrow I’m going in there.” She pointed to the Deep Blue, which looked even bluer now that Rageron’s sun was beginning to set. “I have to find a skrillix—a pain vine. Believe me, you don’t want to follow me,” she added. “It’s really dangerous and you’re such a little guy you might get hurt.”
The pony snorted and tossed its head. Almost as though it’s nodding yes, that it understands, Elise thought. And sure enough, the pony nuzzled her hand one more time and then trotted away.
Elise felt her heart drop but she told herself it was for the best. Her little friend needed to get back to the other ponies and she had to go into the Deep Blue and find the skrillix to break her bond with Merrick, even if it was the last thing she wanted to do. They had to—
Suddenly she realized that the pony wasn’t headed back into the blue-gray foliage of the normal jungle. Instead, it was trotting straight for the edge of the Deep Blue. Elise bit her lip as Merrick’s warnings all came back to her. It was dangerous in there, no doubt filled with poisonous plants and ravenous predators. And the little billib pony was headed straight into it.
“No!” she gasped, jumping to her feet. “No, come back, don’t go in there!”
The pony looked over its shoulder and made a snort, as though to acknowledge her, then kept right on going. It was almost to the edge of the deep indigo foliage now.
Elise began to panic. “No!” she exclaimed, running after the pony. “No, bad pony! Uh, I mean, bad billib! Do not go in there. Come back right now!”
The pony paid her not the least attention this time. It simply trotted happily right up into the edge of the Deep Blue…and disappeared from sight.
For a moment, Elise hesitated on the edge of the indigo foliage. “Whatever you do, don’t go into the Deep Blue by yourself,” Merrick had said. But after a lifetime of fighting for the rights of those helpless to defend themselves, she found it very hard to abandon the little creature who had followed her so far. Suddenly, a shrill whinny sounded just inside the dark blue jungle. Oh no! He’s in trouble!
Dressed only in her crimson bra and panties, and with no further thought for either Merrick’s warning or her own safety, Elise plunged into the Deep Blue.
* * * * *
Merrick had a bad feeling. Something wasn’t quite right—he could feel it through the bond. Elise was troubled about something…indecisive…worried. Probably just trying to decide if she’s really going to let me hold her or not tonight, he told himself uneasily. But he began making his way back toward their campsite anyway. He had an armful of the huge, blanket-sized yanyan leaves, which should be more than adequate to keep them comfortable that night. The leaves were smooth and silky on one side and furry on the other, making them ideal bedding material, no matter what the weather.
As he walked swiftly through the dense vegetation, Merrick felt Elise’s worry turn to anxiety and then to outright fear. What the hell was going on with her? “Elise?” he shouted, but he got no answering reply. “Goddess-damn it,” he growled to himself. “Elise!” he bellowed, putting everything he had into it.
But there was still no reply.
With a curse, Merrick dropped the yanyan leaves and began to run.
* * * * *
Elise thought she heard someone shouting something far off in another part of the jungle, but she wasn’t sure. Following the sound of the little billib pony’s whinnies, she had somehow gone much further into the Deep Blue than she’d ever meant to.
“Little guy?” she called, trying to keep her voice low, so as not to attract predators. “Hey, where are you? We need to get out of here now!”
She heard a whinny again and this time, to her relief, it was much closer. Scrambling over a fallen tree trunk, she found the little blue pony pawing at the base of a vast tree.
“Wow,” Elise murmured, looking up at the towering giant. It reminded her of the redwood forest back home on Earth—only even larger. The trunk was so thick it would have made a decent-sized house, if someone had hollowed it out, and its branches stretched so high into the jungle canopy that she couldn’t even see the leaves. “Okay, I admit that’s truly amazing,” she told the pony. “But we really have to be getting back now. I’m going to be in trouble if Merrick finds out I came in here without him—a lot of trouble.”
She bent down to scoop up the pony but to her surprise, he evaded her grasp and trotted to the foot of the massive tree. Snorting and shaking his mane, he pawed with one miniature hoof at a part of the tree trunk.
“What is it?” Elise asked, kneeling carefully in the indigo foliage. “What… are you trying to show me something?”
The pony snorted again and shook his head up and down, for all the world as though he was saying “yes!”
“All right, I’ll look,” Elise told him. “But I don’t know if I’ll see what you do. It’s getting dark in here and my eyes probably aren’t as good as yo—” She broke off suddenly, staring in amazement at what the pony had been pawing at.
It was a thick vine—as thick as her wrist—snaking its way up the side of the vast trunk. Long, thin branches sprouted off from the central vine. Branches with wickedly curved thorns and…
“Berries,” Elise breathed. “Red berries, just like Merrick said!” She looked at the pony in wonder. “I can’t believe it, little guy—you found me a skrillix. You’re such a smart boy!”
Elise selected one long, thin branch that seemed to have more berries than the others. Then, being very, very careful to avoid the thorns, she broke it off and held it up. “There! Now Merrick and I can head back tomorrow. You’re such a good boy,” she told the pony, patting it affectionately with her free hand. “Such a good b—”
“You dare!” The low, snarling voice behind her nearly made Elise drop the branch. Slowly, her heart pounding in her chest, she turned t
o face whoever had spoken.
It was a normal-looking man—well, if you considered a half-naked, muscular savage in a loincloth normal, Elise thought faintly. The point was, he seemed completely humanoid—all except for his long, blue-black hair and his indigo eyes, which glowed faintly in the dusk. “You dare!” he said again and Elise felt the words as well as hearing them—it was as though his voice was thrumming through her bones, playing her skeleton like a xylophone. It was a strange and unpleasant sensation, not to mention frightening.
“I…I’m sorry,” she said uncertainly. “I know I shouldn’t be here and I didn’t mean to trespass. It’s just that I followed my little pony—er, billib in here to keep him from getting hurt.”
The man glared at her, his blue eyes glowing even brighter. “A likely story. I can plainly see you came to steal, defile and blaspheme. And now you lie about it as well—I will not even test you. Truly, you are an outsider worthy of nothing but anger and swift retribution.”
“What?” Elise asked, her heart pounding. “Okay, I can see why you think I’m a thief, but I didn’t know this plant belonged to you. Look, I’ll just put it down here, all right?” She placed the small branch with its red berries carefully at the base of the tree and stood, her hands held out in a gesture of peace. “I’m not from around here,” she explained. “So please forgive me if I unknowingly broke any of your rules. I just…”
But the words died on her lips—the muscular savage was changing.
First his mouth and jaw seemed to lengthen, almost as though the bones inside them were deforming somehow. Then his eyes grew larger and the pupils turned to slits. Cat’s eyes, Elise thought numbly. My God, he’s got cat’s eyes. But how…what’s happening? How is he doing that?
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