“Yet you would have given your life for his, though he is a different species than your own, and you did not even know he was sentient.” The Elder with pointed ears nodded. “I hear the truth in your words.”
“And I see the truth in your eyes,” the Elder with glowing eyes said. Both of them looked at the Elder with the beast-mouth. “Well, brother, what judgment will you pronounce?” the Elder with pointed ears asked.
The Elder with the beast-mouth frowned—or at least, Elise thought he did. It was really hard to tell when he had a muzzle like an animal. “You came into our lands and committed sacrilege and blasphemy,” he growled at Elise. “You claim ignorance of our ways, yet ignorance is no excuse for wrong doing as you yourself have said.”
“Yes.” She nodded, hear heart galloping in her chest. Oh God, what were they going to do to her? And would she be able to protect Merrick and Brillem from whatever fate lay in store for her?
“You and your companion have already been punished once for your crime of wearing the sacred color,” the Elder continued. “And you were led to take the skrillix in error by one who should have known better.” He nodded at Brillem who neighed softly and bowed his head.
“Oh, please don’t hurt him!” Elise begged. “Please let the punishment fall on me and me alone.”
“Girl-child, you must be silent while judgment is being pronounced!” the Elder with the pointed ears snapped.
“I’m sorry,” Elise whispered contritely. “Please forgive me.”
“No more interruptions,” the Elder with the animal mouth growled. “As I was saying, you were led to the plant in error and one punishment has already been given to you—or rather, to your companion.” He nodded at Merrick who was standing tensely behind Elise. “Now…I am given to understand that you badly need the branch you stole.”
Reaching below the table, he lifted the skrillix branch that Elise had broken off the vine and laid it carefully upon the table beside the billib. Though it was somewhat wilted, the red berries still looked plump and fresh and the thorns still looked sharp and deadly. Elise noticed that Brillem, who was still standing on the table, was careful to stay well back from them.
“We do need it,” Merrick rumbled. “Our very lives depend on it.”
The Elder with the beast-mouth nodded. “The berries of the skrillix are legendary for their healing powers. As are its thorns—though for quite a different reason.”
“It is not called the ‘pain vine’ for no reason,” the Elder with glowing eyes said.
“Indeed.” The Elder with the animal mouth nodded. “Hear then, my judgment. Human girl-child, you must prick your finger on a thorn of the branch you stole and let three droplets of blood fall into our cup of honesty.” He nodded at a strangely carved, blue wooden cup the Elder with pointed ears was now holding out. It was filled with a dark red liquid that looked like some kind of wine to Elise. “We Elders will drink of your blood mixed with the juice of the sharing fern, which allows the transfer of visions and emotions. In so doing, we will share your pain for we do not give punishments that we cannot withstand ourselves.”
“Four drops,” Merrick growled.
“What?” The beast-mouthed Elder frowned.
“Let her give four drops. I want to share the pain as well,” Merrick said. “I won’t let Elise go through something like this without me.”
The Elders whispered briefly and then the Elder with the beast-mouth nodded. “Very well. We respect your wish to share the pain of the female you love, Kindred.”
“Thank you.” Merrick nodded at them gravely.
“You are welcome, outsider.” The Elder with glowing eyes nodded back. “Now allow my brother Elder to finish, please.”
Merrick nodded again, silently.
“As I was saying,” the Elder with the animal mouth continued in his low, rough voice. “You will share your deepest pain with us, human girl-child. And when it is over, we will allow you to take the branch you stole back with you to heal your hurts. Is that clear?”
“Yes. Only…” Elise frowned. She thought she remembered something Merrick had said about the thorns of the skrillix—something about them causing hallucinations? She couldn’t quite bring it to mind but it bothered her. “Forgive me, but what do you mean by my deepest pain? Is the poison in the thorn going to make me feel like I’m on fire or I can’t breathe or what? I’m not afraid,” she added hastily, lifting her chin. “I just…I want to know what to expect.”
“Oh no, girl-child. The venom of the thorn does not give you physical pain,” the Elder with glowing eyes said. “It causes you to relive your deepest emotional pain from the past. Only by sharing your pain and shame with us can you be worthy to receive the healing powers of the skrillix.”
“Oh,” Elise whispered faintly. “Oh.” She didn’t know what else to say. He heart was suddenly pounding in her ears and her hands felt cold and numb. The deepest pain from my past. The vault…it’s going to be just like the AllFather all over again. Only this time everyone will see it. Merrick will see it.
“Is this a problem for you?” the Elder with the beast-mouth asked sharply. “Do you wish us to revoke the judgment? I can give you leave to go now but if you do not prick your finger and share your pain we cannot give you the branch. And I promise you, outsider, we will not allow you to steal another.” His muzzle wrinkled into a threatening snarl that would have been scary if Elise hadn’t already been frightened to death by something else entirely.
“Elise, baby…” Merrick put his hand on her shoulder but she shrugged it off.
“Don’t.”
He looked up at the Elders angrily. “You don’t know what you’re asking. You don’t know the pain in Elise’s past. You can’t expect her to bring up all that shit and share it with everyone here—it’s fucking monstrous of you to even ask.”
“We sympathize with your concern, but our judgment remains unchanged,” the Elder with the beast-mouth growled. “The hour grows late and the twilight fades—make your choice, human!”
Elise took a deep breath. This was going to be the end of her—the end of the vault. After the AllFather had violated her mind she had somehow managed to cram everything back in place and lock the door again, but she knew she couldn’t do it twice. This time everything was coming out and she would have to deal with it—deal with memories and emotions she’d been rigorously suppressing for over a decade. If she had been given a choice between this and death, she would have picked death with no hesitation at all.
But it’s not just my death I’d be choosing, she thought, her eyes flickering up to Merrick’s concerned face. I’d be killing Merrick too. And I love him too much to do that.
As the words whispered in her head, she knew they were true. She didn’t just care for the big Kindred, she loved him—loved him with all her heart. And she would do whatever it took to save him—even throw open the doors of the vault. Still, her soul cringed with shame when she thought about what he and all of the Elders were about to witness. What would he think of her when this was all over? How would he feel?
It probably won’t matter, Elise thought numbly. Because chances are I’ll be such a basket case I won’t care how anyone feels about me after this is over. I’ll just want to die.
“Elise, you don’t have to—” Merrick began but she shook her head.
“No, don’t try to talk me out of it. This is something I have to do, Merrick.” Walking slowly, as if in a trance, she approached the long table and held out her hand. “I’m ready.”
“Very well.” The Elder with pointed ears nodded at the skrillix branch. “Simply prick your finger and let the drops of blood fall into the cup of honesty.”
Feeling like she was drowning, Elise reached for the branch. “No!” Merrick shouted, but it was too late—one of the long, cruel thorns pierced the tender pad of her index finger and she felt the venom of the pain vine enter her system. Numbly, she held her hand over the blue carved cup and allowed exactly four drops of blood to fall int
o its deep red contents.
The same color as my blood. Crimson—their sacred color, she thought. And then the venom ripped the vault door off its hinges and the visions began.
Chapter Thirty-one
“Quickly, drink!” the Elder with glowing eyes exclaimed. “The venom works with the speed of a striking snake—we must all drink if we are to share her pain.”
The Elders passed the cup among themselves quickly and then the one with glowing eyes pressed it into Merrick’s hand. He took a quick look at Elise as he drained the bitter dregs. He could feel nothing from her through their bond and she was just standing there, still as a statue, with her big brown eyes open but unseeing. It was obvious her gaze had turned inward.
She’s remembering, he thought grimly. Remembering what happened all those years ago. He just hoped he’d gotten enough of the bitter juice with her blood in it to share her pain. He didn’t want her to have to go through this alone, whatever it was.
“Here it comes,” he heard one of the Elders say. “Brace yourselves.”
And then the dim leafy hut around him faded to nothing and he was standing somewhere else on an entirely different planet.
Earth, he thought. I’m on Earth.
He’d only set foot on the small blue-green planet’s surface once but he knew he was correct. Though how he could tell from his surroundings, he wasn’t sure. The room he found himself in was even darker than the hut he’d left. There were strips of dim white light—moonlight, he realized, from the Earth’s single moon—falling through the mostly shuttered window. The light helped his eyes adjust and he looked around.
Merrick had expected a scene of great violence, but it was quiet here—peaceful. There was a sleeping platform in the center of the room and the sound of soft breathing filled the air. From what he could see in the dim light, this area belonged to a female—possibly a little girl. There were small stuffed creatures that must be toys and a few dolls as well. Then he noticed the tabletop in front of the silvery mirror was covered in cosmetics and hair adornments. So, not a little girl, after all but a girl who was becoming a young woman and slowly leaving childhood behind her. Still, there was an innocence to the room and the sleeping figure in the bed that made his heart ache for some reason.
Suddenly there was a low creaking sound and a sliver of harsh yellow light appeared in the wall across from the bed. The sliver widened until it was a rectangle—a doorway, Merrick realized, his heart pounding against his ribs. And standing in that doorway was a huge, dark shape—obviously a male—who was watching the sleeping girl.
“Charles?” whispered the girl and Merrick recognized the soft, feminine voice at once—Elise. “What…what do you want?” she asked.
“Just wanted to check on you, princess.” The light shining behind the man turned his face to shadows but Merrick felt the threat of his presence anyway—felt those unseen eyes crawling over the young Elise’s skin in a way that twisted his stomach.
“Well, I’m fine.” Elise’s voice shook only slightly, but Merrick, who was so attuned to her, could hear the worried tremor at once. “And I have a big test tomorrow so please let me sleep.”
“Oh, I don’t think so.” The dark man-shape she’d called “Charles” stepped silently closer. “I thought I might tuck you in.”
“Stop fooling around and leave me alone!” The young Elise’s voice was high and frightened now. “This isn’t funny, Charles—I’ll call Mom!”
The man chuckled unpleasantly. “Your mother had to run to the store for a few things and you know how long she takes to shop. So I think we have time for a quick bedtime story, don’t you, princess?”
“Stay away from me!” Elise was sitting up in bed now, the covers clutched to her chest protectively. “I don’t like it—I don’t want to do…to do that with you.”
He laughed again. “After what I caught you doing last week? I think you’ll love doing ‘that’ with me.”
Merrick could feel the girl’s shame—her sense of outrage and violated privacy as well as a sense of choking fear. “That was private,” she whispered.
“Yes, I know.” The man stepped closer, into her room. “And this will be too. We’ll just keep it between the two of us, shall we?”
He reached for Elise just as Merrick lunged forward, shouting, “No!”
“You cannot help her—this is a memory. A pain long since past,” whispered a voice from the corner.
Merrick whipped his head to one side and saw the three Elders standing there quietly, observing. Why he hadn’t seen them before, he didn’t know. But they were here now and apparently not interested in doing anything but watching.
“You cannot touch her—you are a ghost here,” one of them said. “Besides, the girl already has a defender. Look.”
“What?” Merrick turned back in time to hear a deep, snarling growl. Then a large, furry shape rushed into the room and jumped onto the sleeping platform, insinuating itself between Elise and the dark man-shape. The animal’s mismatched eyes—one blue and one gold—blazed in the darkness and it snapped at the man warningly, its shaggy hackles raised in threat.
With a low curse, the man called Charles stumbled back just in time to avoid losing his fingers. “Stupid mutt!” he snarled as the dog continued to stand guard over Elise protectively. “Thought I locked you out of the house.”
“Buck always finds a way to me when I need him.” Elise spoke up, her voice quivering with emotion. “That’s why my father—my real father—gave him to me. To watch over me. To keep me safe from people like you.”
“Well I have news for you, princess—your real father is dead,” Charles snapped. “And that mutt won’t always be around. We’ll have our moment together—don’t worry about that.” With a last, low curse, he slammed the bedroom door, leaving Elise and the dog in the darkness.
“Oh, Buck.” Elise put her arms around the shaggy neck and buried her face in the big dog’s fur. “Why won’t he leave me alone? I know I shouldn’t have been doing…what he caught me doing. But I never…never thought…” Her last words dissolved into tears and Merrick’s heart ached with her worry and fear and shame. He felt her guilt and the certainty that this was somehow her fault—the certainty that the man, Charles, would have left her alone if he hadn’t caught her in the middle of some guilty act.
She must have been touching herself—pleasuring herself, he thought, his heart twisting as he watched her sob. That’s why she got so upset the first time she let me touch her—it brought back memories like this one. Brought back all the guilt and the shame she’s feeling right now at this moment.
Because Elise was feeling it, all over again, he realized. She wasn’t just watching as Merrick and the Elders were doing—she was reliving the whole thing. And the Gods only knew what came next. He took one last look at the sobbing girl and the dog, which was whining softly and licking her cheeks, and then turned to the Elders to insist that they stop this experience right now…
And then the scene changed.
* * * * *
It was Spring—Elise could feel it in the soft, warm air currents that caressed her skin as she walked home. Her high school was only a mile from the house where she and her mother lived with Charles and she preferred to walk rather than drive the ostentatious red convertible he’d given her as a seventeenth birthday present.
A present, right. More like a bribe. For awhile, her stepfather had thought he could somehow buy her favors with new toys and clothes, but Elise had put an end to that idea as quickly as she could. She wasn’t interested in his immense wealth or anything he could give her—she just wanted him to leave her alone. Unfortunately, that was beginning to seem less and less likely. Rather than backing off, he was stepping up his attentions to her, always trying to catch her alone so he could whisper something disgusting in her ear or cop a feel.
Elise hated the dirty way he made her feel when he touched her—when he even looked at her. Hated the nasty, filthy things he said when he knew n
o one else was around to hear him. She’d thought of trying to record him somehow and then playing the recording back to her mother, but she was sure it wouldn’t do any good. Her mother knew something was happening between her daughter and the man she’d married, but she didn’t know exactly what and worse, she didn’t want to know.
If only she’d listen to me, Elise thought, kicking a rock from the gravel path as she walked. Though her house was only a mile from the school it was set far back behind a set of ornately scrolled gates and a hedge too high and prickly for anyone to get over or under without being scratched half to death.
Elise sighed. She knew well enough why her mother wouldn’t listen—she didn’t want to hear. Didn’t want to know what her husband was up to. Because if she listened to Elise and believed what she was saying, she’d be forced to move out, to lose everything her second marriage had brought her. And Elise’s mother was much too fond of her big house and fur coats and Mercedes LX to do that.
Elise kicked another rock. They had been dirt poor when her father was alive. Dirt poor, but happy. And she hadn’t had to live under the constant threat of being touched against her will, either. Sometimes that threat felt like a huge, heavy stone hung around her neck. It was invisible—no one but Elise could see it. But it dragged her down constantly, weighed on her even when she was out with her friends and trying to be happy.
Just a few more months, she reminded herself. Just a few more months until I get out of here and go to college. And she’d earned her own way, too—getting a full scholarship to UF in Florida.
It wasn’t the most prestigious school. Charles had offered to send her to Brown or Harvard if she would just let him…Elise pushed the thought away. She was going to UF because they were willing to pay everything from tuition, to books, to room and board, as long as she kept her grades up. And Florida was at the other end of the country—over a thousand miles from Oregon. Elise couldn’t wait to put that distance between herself and her stepfather. To turn her back on this awful time in her life and never look back again.
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