“I believe it,” Elise said quietly. “I believe you, Merrick. And if…when the bond is dissolved and we’re separated, if you still want me, well, I’m yours. I’ll tell James the wedding is off and I’ll stay with you. I—”
But she couldn’t finish because Merrick had gathered him to her in a bear hug so tight she could hardly breathe.
“You won’t be sorry,” he whispered in her ear. “Even without the bond, I’ll love you. Love you forever, baby.”
“Oh, Merrick…” Elise felt tears squeezing from her eyes as she hugged him back, breathing in his wild, dark scent that made her feel so safe and comforted. “I love you too,” she whispered. “I love you, too.”
* * * * *
Merrick was having a nightmare—Elise was in some kind of danger and he couldn’t get to her. “I’m coming,” he told her over and over. “I’ll be right there, baby—I swear!” But it seemed as though someone had dipped his feet in lead and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t reach her.
And then the voice began. “That’s right, come for her,” it hissed in his ear and even the sound of it caused him pain. Merrick looked down and saw wounds opening up on his chest and arms. Blood flowed in rivulets down his skin, exactly as if someone had sliced him with a knife. “Come to get her, Hybrid. Before it’s too late…”
“You bastard!” Merrick struggled against the inertia of the dream. “Leave her alone. Take me if you have to, but leave Elise the fuck alone—”
A piercing scream penetrated his dream and he sat up at once, reaching for the knife he always kept in his boot. “What the fuck?” He looked around, instantly alert, and saw Elise thrashing on the bed beside him.
“Don’t,” she moaned. “Don’t let him have me! The Darkness…the Darkness that eats the Stars…”
“Elise … Baby …” Merrick replaced the knife swiftly and scooped her into his arms. They were still on the low sleeping platform in the healing hut and someone—probably Mother-Healer—had covered them with a loose coverlet of yanyan leaves. “It’s all right,” he murmured, holding Elise close, comforting her as he had before on the Mother Ship. “Everything’s all right. I’m here.”
Her eyes flew open and then squeezed shut again as she encircled his neck in a panicky hug. “Oh, Merrick! It was so bad…so awful.” The words came spilling out and she seemed helpless to stop them. “I dreamed he had me—he had me and he wouldn’t let me go. You were trying to get to me, but you couldn’t. And every word the man said…it cut you—like a knife. You were bleeding everywhere but you were still trying to get to me. I was so afraid for you…”
The similarity in their dreams wasn’t lost on Merrick. “Shh, baby, shh, it’s all right,” he rumbled, stroking her shivering back gently. “But what man are you talking about? Who was cutting me with his words?”
“I…I don’t know.” She pulled back, away from him, her brown eyes wet with tears. “The man with the silver eyes. He was so strange…handsome, but…but there was something wrong about him. Something missing. I can’t explain it any better than that.” She shook her head. “What does it mean?”
“I don’t know.” Merrick rubbed a hand over his face and sighed wearily. “I’d like to say it’s only a dream, but we are in the center of the Deep Blue. Some people claim to have visions here.”
“I had a dream like that once before.” Elise frowned. “Back when I was coming out of stasis, I think. It was so awful I blocked it out until now.” She shook her head. “Do you think it’s just one more thing escaping from the vault? Something else I made myself forget that’s coming back to haunt me now?”
“I hope so.” Merrick frowned. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s it. It probably leaked from your mind to mine through the bond.”
But inside, he wondered. He was careful to shield his thoughts from Elise but he vowed to himself that they would leave the Deep Blue tomorrow and fly back to the Mother ship as fast as possible. He wanted to have Elise somewhere safe, somewhere they could start their life together after the bond was dissolved. Somewhere he could protect her and love her forever.
Chapter Thirty-four
Elise wasn't the only one having bad dreams. Light years away, Xairn, twitched in his sleep, groaning softly as the vision tormented him yet again.
"What's the matter, lover boy?" a woman's voice—a terribly familiar voice—whispered in his ear.
In the dream, Xairn turned with a start, trying to find the source of the voice—the source of the danger. He was standing in a long, dark hallway and he could see nothing. Nothing at all.
"Do you miss me?" whispered the soft, familiar voice and this time it sounded like she was right beside him. "Miss me like I miss you?"
"Who are you?" Xairn demanded, looking around. "What do you want with me?"
"Why, I want the same thing you want, of course." Suddenly, a slender feminine figure appeared, gliding toward him out of the darkness. She had pale blue skin and luminous pink eyes that seemed to take up most of her face. "What you've always wanted from me," she continued.
"I don't want anything from you," Xairn protested. "I don't even know you."
"Oh, I think you do." As she drew closer, she changed. Her skin turned from pale blue to lily white and her eyes got slightly smaller and tilted exotically. Instead of round pupils, she had slits like a cat and her hair was suddenly a writhing mass of tentacles. Leaning close, she put her face right up to his, her lips only inches from his own. "I think you want to fuck," she whispered, and Xairn felt her soft, cool hand cupping him, stroking him down below where he so desperately needed to be touched.
But not by her—never by her. He wanted to push her hand away but in the timeless way of dreams, he found he was frozen to the spot. "Get away from me," he growled, glaring at her. "I don't know who or what you are but I already have a mate."
For the first time, the dream woman seemed to lose her composure. "Ah yes, the lovely Lauren," she snarled. "The one you choose over all others. Except you haven't been choosing her lately, have you? You haven't touched her since I started sending you these dreams. It's too…unsettling, isn't it?"
The soft hand cupping his cock tightened and the mystery woman began to change again.
Xairn knew what was coming next but he still flinched when her skin turned from white to a creamy, light mocha and her hair became long and silky and black. Her eyes lost their exotic tilt as well as their slitted pupils and became a normal human shape. Their color, though, was anything but normal. They became a lovely, golden amber—a shade no one else but his mate, Lauren possessed.
"Lauren," he whispered hoarsely.
The female thing threw back its head and laughed. "Yes, I can be her for you. I can be Lauren." She was suddenly naked, the white, star-shaped birthmark between her breasts glimmering in the darkness. "I can be anyone you desire. Anyone…at all."
"You're not really her. Leave me—go away!" he demanded but she only laughed and the hand on his cock began to stroke up and down in a sensual way his body couldn't help but react to.
"Your sexual hunger makes you weak, Scourge," she whispered in his ear. "Weak and needy…"
"No…no, please!" He twisted to get away from her but he was frozen, helpless…
Suddenly a new hand was shaking his shoulder. "Xairn?" said a familiar voice. "Xairn, honey, are you okay?"
** * * * *
Xairn sat up with a shout that scared Little One right off the bed. She whimpered and tucked her tail between her legs, huddling near the doorway in fear.
Lauren climbed out of bed and soothed the frightened puppy before letting her out of the bedroom. Then she closed the door behind her and called for some soft lighting. The room lights obeyed her and she was able to see her man sitting up in bed, a wild look in his eyes.
"Xairn?" she said gently, coming back to him. "Baby, are you okay?"
"Yes…no." He shook his head. "I'm not certain. I just…I think I need some air."
He started to get up but Lauren pushed him right back
down again. "No, I don't think so." She frowned and crossed her arms over her breasts. "You and I are going to have a little talk."
Xairn shook his head wearily. "Not now, Lauren. It's…not a good time."
"No time is a good time with you, lately." She poked a finger at his broad chest. "Every time I try to say anything to you besides what we're having for supper, you run. Well, not anymore—something is going on and we're going to talk about it right now."
Xairn groaned and looked so unhappy that Lauren nearly relented. But then she remembered the fact that they hadn't had sex in weeks or a decent conversation in even longer than that. "You have to make him talk," she heard Olivia's voice whispering in her ear. Lifting her chin, Lauren decided to take her cousin's wise advice to heart and do just that.
"Baby," she said, softening her tone. "Come on now, please don't be like that. I didn't mean to sound harsh but I need you to talk to me—tell me what's going on."
"I…" Xairn gave a defeated sigh. "I didn't want to say anything because I hoped…hoped they would go away."
"You hoped what would go away?" Lauren asked, puzzled.
"The dreams." He dropped his head into his hands again. "The Goddess-damned dreams. Every night I have them and they're getting worse."
"Tell me." Lauren sat beside him and reached out to rub his shoulders, but Xairn flinched away from her touch. Trying not to show how much his avoidance hurt her, she sat back a little and looked at him. "Tell me," she said again. "Start at the beginning."
Briefly, in clipped, painful words, he told her of the strange woman he kept seeing. The one who looked like her.
"She…torments me," he admitted in a harsh whisper. "Touches me, even when I don't want her to. But I can't seem to stop her. I don't know what to do."
Lauren felt like an icy hand had gripped her heart. "This dream—you think it's your subconscious telling you that I have you trapped?" she asked, forcing the words out with difficulty. "I mean maybe now that I'm having a baby, you're feeling tied down and—"
"It's nothing like that," Xairn interrupted, frowning. "You're having our baby, Lauren." He put a gentle hand on her belly. "A baby we both want very much."
Lauren was touched—it was the first time he'd touched her voluntarily in weeks. She felt a thrill go through her as his warm palm branded her skin through the silky-sheer negligee she wore.
"What then, honey?" she asked gently. "What is the dream trying to tell you?"
"I don't know." He shook his head and frowned. "But I do know that female is not you. She only takes your shape to trouble me."
"Not me but looks like me. The clone," Lauren breathed, feeling sick. "Is she…do you think it's her?" Every time she thought of the perfect clone of herself which they had left light years away in a far distant part of the universe, she felt both a twinge of guilt and a twist of dread. She had all my memories, she thought. She looked just like me. She thought she was me.
"It may be the clone," Xairn said, frowning. "But I don't know—she takes other shapes too. Other forms and disguises. I don't know if it's her or not—I only know that when she takes your form I'm filled with both confusion and…" He trailed off, shaking his head.
"And what?" Lauren urged him, when he didn't go on. "Go ahead, say it, baby."
"And desire," Xairn whispered in a low, hoarse voice. "But I know it isn't her I desire, it's you. I don't want my body to react to her but it's been so long since we've touched each other—I…I can't help it. Forgive me," he ended, looking down.
"We stopped touching each other because you started running," Lauren reminded him. Her heart ached when she remembered all the rejections of the past few weeks. "You abandoned me, Xairn—sexually, anyway. And now is not a good time for me to be feeling abandoned. These pregnancy hormones…" She sniffed and shook her head, determined not to cry. "They make me crazy. And not just crazy—needy. Hungry. I think you know what I'm trying to say."
"Yes," he murmured and his red-on-black eyes flashed. In their depths Lauren could see an echo of her own hunger. "I can smell your heat. Your need to be taken," he admitted.
Lauren finally lost her patience. "Then damn it, why don't you take me?"
"Because." Xairn looked away again. "I felt such shame at the way I reacted to the dreams. To the female who isn't you but looks like you." He looked up at Lauren. "How could I take you after waking from such a dream? How could I use you to slake the lust that was wrongly woken in me? It would be dishonest…unfaithful."
Suddenly Lauren had an idea. "So let me understand this—you've been avoiding me because this other woman—this dream skank—who looks like me, comes to you in dreams and gets you all hot and bothered. And when you wake up, you're too freaked out and guilty to make love to the real me. Is that right?"
Slowly, he nodded. "Yes."
"Then we just have to get you over those dreams. Tell me something, baby…" Lauren crawled up to him and straddled his thighs so that she was sitting astride him.
"What?" Xairn looked at her warily but made no move to get away.
"Do you remember the way you told me apart from that clone in the first place?" Lauren murmured. "It was by my scent." Reaching down between her legs, she lifted the lace hem of her negligee and slipped her panties to one side. Her pussy was already hot and wet, just from being close to her man again after so long. It wasn't hard to slip two fingers inside herself and coat them with her honey.
"Lauren…" Xairn's eyes were burning with lust and she could feel the hard lump of his cock branding her ass. It only reinforced what she intended to do.
"My scent," she repeated and brought her fingers to his face.
Xairn inhaled deeply and a hungry groan that seemed to come from the bottom of his broad chest escaped him. Gripping her wrist, he brought her fingers to his lips and sucked them deep into his hot mouth.
Lauren moaned softly and felt her insides tighten at the blatantly erotic gesture. God, she was so hungry for his touch—needed him so damn badly. And from the way Xairn was sucking and lapping the honey from her fingers, he needed her every bit as much.
At last he released her hand. "Gods above, Lauren, you don't know what that does to me," he growled.
"Yes, I do," she murmured, smiling. "Would you like some more?" She showed him her well-cleaned fingers. "Or would you like to taste it right from the source?"
With a low groan, Xairn pushed her back on the bed and got between her thighs. "The source," he growled, ripping away her panties. "Gods, how I've longed for this—longed to taste your sweet, wet pussy again."
"Come on, then…" Lauren spread her thighs seductively. "Taste me, Xairn. Take what you need—what we both need."
He pressed his rough cheek against her sensitive pussy and then looked up. "But…the dreams. Don't you hate me?"
"Baby…" Lauren caressed his black hair gently. "I could never hate you. And I think these dreams have only been having such an effect on you because we've been apart. We need to bridge the gap—come together again so this nasty dream bitch—whoever she is, will leave you alone."
"I feel the same." He rubbed against her once more and then licked a long, hot trail up the center of her sensitive slit, making Lauren gasp. Then he looked up, his red-on-black eyes blazing with desire. "You are the one I want, Lauren. You and only you."
"Oh Xairn…" Her breath seemed to catch in her throat. "I feel the same way. I love you. And I need you—so much."
"I need you, too." He lapped at her again, driving his tongue deeper to slide across her overheated clit, making her moan and writhe under him. "Let's take what we need," he murmured hoarsely.
Lauren couldn't think of a better way to spend the night. "Yes…" She stroked his hair and spread her thighs even wider, welcoming him in. "Let's take what we need right now."
Chapter Thirty-five
“Well, here we are. What's the update?” Olivia got comfortable on the extra-large, Kindred-sized couch, her bowl of chili-lime-chocolate drizzled popcorn in her
lap and looked at Lauren expectantly.
"You were right." Lauren smiled at her cousin as she settled beside her. "We just needed to talk—to get things out in the open. Once I cornered him and made him explain, everything worked itself out."
"I knew it!" Liv grinned. "See? You just have to make them spill. So what was his problem anyway?"
Lauren frowned. "Well, it's kind of strange. You see, Xairn told me he'd been having these weird—"
“Hi guys!”
They both looked up to see Sophie and Kat standing in the doorway. “Oh, hi.” Lauren smiled at them. “Come right in—make yourselves at home.”
“Hope you don’t mind we came in without knocking," Kat said. “But the door wasn’t locked and we’ve been looking for you and Liv everywhere.”
“What are you guys doing? Having a girl day without us?” Sophie asked, coming to sit on the arm of the sofa.
“Nope.” Liv smiled. “Just talking about pregnancy stuff.” She looked at her twin sister. “Speaking of which, when are you going to take another test?”
“Soon.” Sophie looked cautiously excited. “I’m already late—I just want to wait a little longer and be sure before I take the test.”
“I bet you’re pregnant, waaaay pregnant.” Olivia grinned excitedly. “You’ve probably got twins going on in there.” She pointed at her sister’s still-flat belly.
“Heaven forbid,” Kat said, making a face. “One huge Kindred baby is enough, don’t you think?”
“He is getting pretty big—especially now that I can feel him kicking all the time.” Liv rubbed her protruding belly protectively. “He’s an energetic little fella, I can tell you that!”
“I want to feel him kick!” Lauren exclaimed. “Can I?”
“Is he awake right now?” Sophie asked.
“Well—” Liv began.
“I don’t want to put a damper on the mood,” Kat interrupted. “But we actually came to tell you that Elise and Merrick are on their way home.”
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