by Amy Cross
***
If you'd asked me before whether I could drag a wood chipper through the forest and then somehow maneuver it down through a hatch and into an underground bunker, I'd have replied that no-one could do that. I guess it's funny how the human mind and body work when they're really motivated.
And if there's one thing that I am right now, it's motivated.
Yet the job is still not done. I've barely even begun. Now that the chipper is down here and in place, I'm starting to understand what comes next, although I have to admit that I'm not sure exactly how to set about things. I'm not exactly a natural born killer, and the thought of murdering someone in cold blood is enough to make me feel absolutely terrified. At the same time, something's reaching out into my mind and telling me that everything will be okay. My wilder fears are getting calmed, and at least on some deep level I feel as if I can do this.
I just have to figure out the logistics.
“It's okay,” I say finally, staring once more at the chipper's blades, at the same blades that once minced my father, “I'm going to feed you. You must be so hungry after all this time, but you're going to get a good meal soon. It'll be rich and bloody and full, and it should keep you happy for at least...”
I pause for a moment.
“How often do you need to eat, anyway?” I ask.
Silence.
I'm not completely insane. I wasn't expecting the chipper to start literally talking to me. That would be stupid.
“I guess you'll let me know,” I continue. “I'll try to be receptive to any messages you have for me, okay? It might take me a little while to figure things out, just 'cause I'm new to this whole thing, but I'll work real hard and I'll make sure that I pick it all up quickly. In fact...”
My voice trails off as I remember something I saw online the other day. Some people I know were arranging a house party, and they said that anyone was invited. Now, I've never been the most popular person in the world, but I figure a large house party – especially one with a few people from out of town – might be a good place to start if I'm looking for people to offer up to the chipper. Plus, something tells me that the chipper itself will make sure that nobody asks too many questions and that the cops don't start noticing when people go missing.
“Tomorrow night,” I say finally, allowing myself a faint smile as I sit cross-legged in front of the machine. “I'll try tomorrow night. No, I won't try.” I take a deep breath. “I'll feed you tomorrow night.”
The chipper stares back at me, its blades glinting in the low light.
***
“This party is kinda lame,” Annie says as she takes another beer from the counter. I know her name's Annie because she just told me. “I can't believe I traveled two hours just to stand around and not even dance. Sorry, no offense.”
“None taken,” I reply with a grin. Talking to Annie is surprisingly easy. “I know what you mean, though. I guess some people just think they have to invite a load of people and a great party will automatically materialize out of thin air.”
She rolls her eyes.
“So I haven't seen you around here before,” I say after a few more seconds. “You said you traveled a bit. Where do you live?”
“Over in Stanton,” she replies cautiously, but I can tell that there's a little more to the story. She seems kinda nervous. “I sorta live in a place where...”
I wait, but she seems genuinely worried about spilling the beans.
“It's like a houseshare situation,” she says finally, “but one where there's not really a landlord.”
“You're sleeping rough?”
“Not exactly. I work, I just can't afford rent, so a few of us found a house and we stay there. It's very cheap, and it's allowing me to save some money, but it's not quite as cool as the movies make it out to seem.”
I smile, but deep down I'm already trying to come up with a plan. This Annie girl is perfect, since she seems like someone who could totally disappear without a trace. Besides, even if people came looking for her, they'd be looking in Stanton instead of here. I've been waiting for the right person to take to the bunker and offer up to the chipper, and I guess maybe I've been exercising a little too much caution. Right now, however, I feel like I've chanced upon the perfect person, and now I just need to make sure that I don't bottle it.
“What?” she asks.
“Huh?”
“You're staring at my lips.”
“I was?” I feel flustered for a moment, although in truth I was imagining her lips pinned to the board in the bunker. “Sorry, I guess I was just being a little weird.”
“You don't have to apologise,” she replies. “I like weird.”
There's an awkward pause, and I know this is when I should make my move. There's still a part of me that wants to pull out, but at the same time I can't help thinking of the machine waiting in the bunker. Sometimes I feel as if the whole forest is haunted by a kind of hunger that drifts between the trees, and I'm pretty sure that it's my job to feed that hunger. And, frankly, I don't think I'll ever get an easier target than Annie.
“Do you wanna blow this place?” I ask finally.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I'm a local, so I could show you around.”
A faint smile curls on her lips.
“I know Sobolton can seem like a total dump,” I continue, trying desperately to think of a way to make this idea seem more exciting, “but there are actually some pretty cool spots. Like... the forest, for example.”
“And that's the best part of town, huh?”
“Not the best part,” I reply, “just...”
I hesitate for a moment, as I try to figure out my angle. Annie seems pretty bored, and I figure I've half hooked her already. And it's not as if I have to persuade her to walk all the way through the forest. I just need to get her across the threshold and then knock her out, and after that I can drag her to the bunker. Then it's just a matter of cutting off my trophies and serving the rest to the machine.
“Whatever,” she says, “come on, let's go take a look. I'm sure we can find something fun to do out there.”
She turns and heads out the door. I hesitate for a moment, and then I follow. There's a part of me that wants to back out, but I know that I have to get this done sooner or later. So I take one more swig of beer, and then I set the can down before hurrying out after Annie. And somehow, deep down, I just know that I'm going to offer up my first sacrifice tonight. I'm going to feed the god in the bunker, and once I've done it the first time, I'm sure it'll get much easier.
For the first time in my life, I know exactly why I exist.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Milly
Today...
Flat on my back on the living room floor, with the room having long since fallen into darkness, I stare up at the patterns on the ceiling. Mom's dead body is nearby, with the knife still poking out of her chest, but I don't need to look, not anymore. I know what I did to her, and I know I could have made it less painful. Still, I'm finished now, and all I want to do is stare at the ceiling forever. Or at least until I fade to nothing.
“Milly?”
Hearing a tapping sound, I turn to see that there's someone standing at the window.
“Milly!” he calls out again, and I furrow my brow as the figure heads to the back door and then pushes it open.
Richard.
“What are you doing in here?” he asks, before flicking the light on. “You said to meet you a while back, but when you didn't show up I -”
He stops, as soon as he spots Mom's body on the sofa. He stares for a moment, before slowly turning to me.
“The wood chipper was never a god, was it?” I say, as I finally give voice to the doubts and fears that have been plaguing me for the past few hours. “I get it now. The railroad's metal tracks were vibrating, they were calling to me across the forest. And I'm so stupid, I somehow managed to misunderstand. I thought it was the wood chipper that was calling to me
. The railroad wanted me to be its servant, but I got the whole thing completely wrong. I've wasted the past five years.”
“What makes you think that?” he asks cautiously, stepping toward me.
“It's the only thing that makes sense of all this madness,” I point out. “I've been lying here and figuring it out. The railroad must have called to me. Eventually it realized that I'd got the whole thing wrong, so it called to you instead, and you figured out what you were supposed to do. I think that railroad is a lot more complicated than we ever realized, it seems to enlist people to provide blood and souls for the ghostly train. I read some stuff in the library that kinda got my thoughts whirring and... Well, the bottom line is that I've spent five years mistakenly worshiping a wood chipper. That's kinda nuts, isn't it?”
“Is that your mother?” he asks.
“I almost killed her five years ago,” I explain, looking up at him. From my perspective right now, as he stares down at me, he seems to be upside down. “The forest seemed to want me to do it. Maybe as a test. Do you think the forest has changed us both so much, Richard? Are we good people who got twisted to become murderers, by a force we can't possibly understand? In another life, could we have lived normal lives?”
“I don't know,” he says cautiously, and he seems a little confused as he looks toward Mom again. “I guess we're the same now. You killed your parents and I killed mine.”
“I started getting the flashbacks again,” I tell him. “It was like the past was interrupting the present. I don't like when that happens, I like it when my experiences are just linear and simple. You know, A to B to C, like that.”
“I know what you mean.” He stares at Mom for a moment longer, before looking down at me again. “I think we should think about getting out of here.”
“Out of the house?”
“Out of Sobolton.”
“And go where? Do you really think the railroad will let you just walk away? You belong to it now. You're its servant. Like I was supposed to be.”
“You might be right about that,” he replies, “but we can leave Sobolton without leaving the railroad. We can just follow it and see where it goes.”
“It runs from coast to coast,” I tell him.
“Exactly! Then we can go pretty much anywhere! Well, you know what I mean.” He pauses. “I feel this urge deep inside, Milly. I know that I have to give offerings to the train. If I try to resist, it'll probably just pull another stunt, it'll make me hallucinate my dead father again. Whatever. But that doesn't mean we're stuck in Sobolton, and sooner or later people are going to notice the bodies. Like your mother, for example. The railroad can only protect us so much.”
“I don't know that I have the strength to walk anywhere,” I reply.
“Of course you do. I'll help you.”
“You look funny upside down.”
“Then sit up.” He reaches a hand out toward me. “It'll all be okay.”
I hesitate, and then I take his hand and sit up, and then I get onto my knees and look at him again. This time he's the right way up, and in an instant everything feels normal again. I take a deep breath, and in that instant I know that everything will be alright. Separating from Richard for the day was a mistake and, as I slowly get to my feet, I'm overcome by the feeling that everything will be alright so long as we stick together. Maybe I missed my initial chance to serve the tracks five years ago, but Richard offers me a second chance and I figure we can work together.
“You're looking at me funny,” he says.
“No, I'm not.”
“You are,” he replies. “Listen, I really think -”
Before he can finish, I lean forward and kiss him. I only intended to give him a light peck on the cheek, but somehow this quickly becomes a full kiss, and for the first time in my life I feel as if I'm doing exactly the right thing. Richard doesn't pull away, either, which I guess is a good sign, even if I quickly start to realize that it's weird doing this with my dead mother in the room. Then again, if the railroad is twisting my thoughts and turning me into a slightly different person, I guess I shouldn't be too shocked by some of my actions.
“We should go,” I whisper finally, pulling back from the kiss just a little.
Richard tries to kiss me again, but I move my face away.
“Later,” I say, as I spot Mom still sitting on the sofa with the knife embedded in her chest. Her eyes are open and she still looks so surprised. “You were right. We have to leave Sobolton.”
“But -”
“The tracks need us,” I continue. “The train needs us. We can work together. I mean, that has to be good, right? I'm sure the railroad will appreciate it.”
He hesitates, but then he nods.
“It'll be okay,” I say, putting my hands on his shoulders. “We'll head west. I've got a feeling the railroad will do what it can to keep us safe, provided we occasionally find souls for it to take. We don't have to worry about where we go, because we have the rails now.”
“But -”
“We have the rails now,” I say firmly, as I squeeze his shoulders. “The rails will take us to where we need to be. We'll serve them, and they'll help us. I honestly don't have any other ideas. Do you?”
“No,” he replies cautiously. “I guess you're right. We'll be fine, just so long as we have the rails. And each other.”
“We need some food before we set out,” I tell him. “Maybe some money too. There's not much here. Do you have any idea where we can find some supplies before we blow out of Sobolton for good?
I wait, and after a moment I see a flicker of realization on his face.
“Well,” he says cautiously, “now that you mention it, there is one place...”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Milly
“Hey Vince!”
“What the hell are you doing here?” the man behind the counter asks, turning to Richard as we both head through from the back room. “Where did you go last night? You can't just abandon your shift like that!”
“Sorry,” Richard replies, “but something came up.”
I head around the side of the counter and grab a basket.
“And what kind of -”
Suddenly I hear a thud, and I glance over my shoulder just in time to see that Richard has slammed the guy against the wall.
“I'm sorry Vince,” Richard says, “but last night was something of an eye-opener for me and I've realized that it's time for me to skip town. I know you've got a lot of cameras in here but I don't really care about that. All that matters is getting away from Sobolton.”
I start putting food into the basket. A few fresh things, but mostly stuff that'll keep for a while and stuff that's gonna be light to carry. We're gonna need energy, so I make sure to take as many protein bars as possible. To be honest, it's kinda fun packing for a trip.
“I never thought you were this stupid,” the Vince guy sneers. “Do you have any idea how many cameras I have in this place? You seriously don't see why that's gonna screw you over? I'm gonna have enough coverage of you two idiots to edit together a Lifetime movie.”
“I'm not sure that's gonna be a problem,” Richard says. “Milly, are you almost done?”
“Just give me a couple more minutes,” I reply as I add more items to the basket. I'm having to be really careful to keep the weight down.
“I should never have hired you,” I heard Vince saying. “I knew there was something wrong with you, right from the start, but I've always been a soft touch when it comes to sob stories. It was the same with Trent and Victoria and all the others, but for some reason I convinced myself that you'd be different. At least the others didn't steal from me, though. At least -”
He lets out a gasp, and I turn just in time to see him slumping to the floor.
“It's okay,” Richard says, taking a step back, “I only knocked him out.”
I spend a few more minutes figuring out what we should take, and then I head back over to the counter. Vince is still in a crumple
d heap on the floor, while Richard is standing over him with a knife.
“Well?” I say.
“What about him?” he asks. “Should I just kill him and get it over with?”
“What about the train?”
“What about it?”
“Why not tie him to the tracks?”
“Well, he's not...”
His voice trails off.
“Richard,” I say after a moment, as I start to realize what might be wrong here, “how many people have you killed on those tracks over the years?”
“A few.”
“And how many of them have been female?”
“All of them. Why?”
Sighing, I step over to him and give him a kiss on the cheek, and then I look down at Vince.
“Bring him over to the cemetery after you've emptied the safe,” I say after a moment. “I'm going to teach you the importance of one particular word.” She taps my nose with a fingertip and smiles. “Diversity.”
***
The train roars past, and the sound of the engine doesn't quite drown out the sound of Vince's cries and the crunching of his bones. He didn't wake up until the very last moment, but this time – unlike with Debs – we made sure to place his head directly onto one of the rails. As the train races off in the distance, I look at Vince's remains and reflect upon the fact that at least this time we don't have to deal with a trembling torso.
“I really don't think the train cares who we sacrifice,” I tell Richard. “Male, female, young, old, whatever. It's their souls that the train seems to want, and maybe some blood on its wheels as well.”
“I guess you're right,” he replies. “It's crazy, but for some reason I just always went for women.”
“That probably says something pretty profound about how your head works,” I mutter, before turning and watching as the light from the train recedes into the distance. “The train went west, which is where we're going. We've done more than enough in Sobolton, but there must be hundreds of other towns near the tracks. We can keep feeding the train for years.”