by Gilead, Kate
At that moment, it occurs to me that a shrink would probably say that I’ve sub-consciously projected my grief over the loss of my mom onto Nancy and made her into a mother-figure.
And that’d be about right, I think to myself.
Dad stops in front of an old photo, where my mom’s wearing chunky-framed sunglasses and a happy smile.
“There, see? That’s Margaret in those same kind of glasses,” he says. “That’s one of my favorite memories of her. We were in Boston, on vacation. She was trying to talk in a Boston accent.”
“I see what you mean about the resemblance in that photo,” Heart agrees. “Your wife was gorgeous. I’m very sorry for your loss, Don.” But she looks at me, and in her eyes, I see a depth of understanding that seems to go well beyond her age.
I think she sees more than she’s saying.
And I don’t mind. I find that I want her to see me. I want her to know who I am.
All of me.
“Thank you,” Dad replies quietly. “We miss her.”
Dad takes a deep breath and lets it out again. I pat him on the shoulder, then pull him towards me for a one-armed man-hug.
The sound of knocking suddenly comes from Dad’s pocket. “Oh, that’s my new text sound,” he says, pulling his phone from his pocket. “The last one I had sounded like a beer cap popping,” he tells Heart, who giggles. “But I didn’t want people to think I’m a drunk.” He checks the message. “It’s Stan. He’s coming over with the truck and then we’re going grocery shopping.”
“Okay, Dad. It’s time for us to head out, anyway.”
Dad walks us to the door. “Alright kids. It was great meeting you, Heart. I hope to see you again. Oh, and don’t forget to accept my Facebook friend’s request!”
* * *
Back in the Beamer, Heart and I sit quietly at first, while I steer the car through the streets back towards the main road.
I’m thinking a lot of things. About Nancy, about my mother and life in general…but mostly, I’m thinking about Heart and how I’m going to move things forward with her.
Because everything in me is screaming to do it. To claim her, to make her mine, to love and protect and keep her the way a man naturally wants to do…when he meets the right woman.
“Well, sweetie, I guess I’d better take you home. But, this has been the nicest Friday after work I’ve had in a long time.” I look over at her, then hold my hand out.
She looks at me for a moment–in a way I won’t forget if I live to be a hundred years old–and then she takes my hand.
I lift it to my mouth and kiss the back of it, and then clasp it in my lap.
A glance at her face shows the color in her cheeks deepening.
God, that’s adorable.
I think I’m in love with this girl.
“Oh, wow…” she whispers, biting her lip. “This is…this is so crazy. I never imagined anything like this happening to me. I don’t know if I’m ready for it. I don’t know if I can handle it.”
“There’s nothing to handle or be ready for. I think it should be obvious by now. I’m pretty smitten here.” I laugh.
She turns her face towards me, eyes shining. “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we met,” she say, smiling softly. “But, you know… after what happened at lunch today, it’s not gonna be a secret at work by Monday.”
I squeeze her hand. “I couldn’t help myself. And, if it needs to be said, we don’t need to worry about talk at work, Heart.”
“I know. It’s just…fast.”
“Damn. It sure is.” I let go of her hand to use both hands on the wheel. “But you know something? I wish it could go faster. I don’t want this evening to end.”
“Heh. I’m trying to think of an excuse to hang out with you as we speak,” she laughs. “But I really need to go home and study.”
“No problem. As you may have noticed, I’m sticking to the side streets to make the drive home last just a little longer.”
“I did notice. I also noticed that you’re the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.”
“Aw, shucks,” I joke. “Um, how about the handsome-est?”
“That too,” she laughs, tossing her hair.
“And the humble-est?”
“Okay, now you’re pushing it,” she says, crinkling that cute nose at me.
We ride along in happy silence for a moment.
But there’s something I need to get off my chest, the sooner, the better.
“Heart? I want to be clear about something before we go any further. Okay?”
“Okay….?”
“I’m not dating anyone else. I don’t play the field any more. And I want to make sure you feel the same way.”
“Of course I’m not dating anyone at the moment.” She frowns. “You think I’d let you pay attention to me like this if I were?”
“No, no, I don’t think you’re that type,” I add hastily, “but you should understand, I’ll never share you. I mean it.”
“I’d never share you either, Kyle. I don’t believe in that crap. Actually, I don’t even think most people can handle dating more than once person at a time.”
“Agreed. I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page. Okay sweetie?” I look over at her to make sure she’s not offended.
She looks back at me sternly, then her face crinkles into an enormous grin.
Her grin is so large, so goofy and gorgeous, I can’t help but chuckle.
“Is it weird that I love how possessive you are about me already?” Still smiling, she bites her lip.
Oh, fuck. When she does that, my cock wants to wake up and take a look around.
“No, I think that’s how it should be.” I let out a contented sigh. “Goddamn! I just…I’m so fucking attracted to you, Heart. I love the way you look right now, how natural and real you look. You don’t need make-up, you know that?”
“I…no? I’m not that great at applying it, to be honest, so that’s good to hear.”
“Hell no. You’re beautiful the way God made you. I love your smile. I love the way you smell. I…well, shit, I better save something for next time. Put it this way: We have a lot to learn about each other and I can’t wait to get to know you better.”
“Same here,” she says softly, biting that juicy bottom lip again.
“Damn! I love it when you do that, too,” I shake my head, letting my breath out in a rush.
“What, this?” she says, eyes gleaming, and does it again.
“Yes! Okay, stop. You’re making it hard to keep my eyes on the road.”
“Oh, boy,” she says, giggling. “Did you hear that innuendo? Or was that just me?”
“Hah!” I say. “I heard it just as I was saying it. Sometimes, the innuendo writes itself.”
We both chuckle.
“I think my father will like you,” she says, after a moment. “Is it weird how natural it feels for me to want you to meet my father?”
“I don’t think so. I think we’re very lucky. I think sometimes people just meet and click and maybe, it’s Fate. Meant to be.”
She nods. “It’s weird in another way, too. Usually, I plan everything out, down to the letter. And I like to stick to my plans.”
“Me too. But yes, this is…I mean, how do you plan for something like this?”
We glance at each other, then I reach out for her hand again.
Then: “Hey, I should ask: Have you ever been married, Kyle? Do you have any children?”
“No and no. I’ve dated my share, but never been married. My plan is –was– to wait another five years, make more money. Then, start looking for a wife.”
“You want to wait that long? You’ll be forty. Don’t you want kids someday?”
“Yes, I do. But, I always thought…well, you know that a man can father children anytime. It was always more important to me to be able to provide for them, and find the right woman.”
“Well, that makes sense.”
“Yes, but…what if t
he right woman comes along sooner than planned? And lately, you know…since Nance had her stroke…I’ve been re-thinking a lot of things.”
“I guess I can see why.”
“Yeah. Life is so fucking short and unpredictable. I mean, my mother suffered a long bout with cancer and then died when I was fifteen. It did something to me…made me look for security in money, I think. And that absorbed me for many, many years. Twenty, to be exact.” I pause, searching for words. “But, you can’t buy love. You can’t buy…time.”
“All true,” she says, still looking at me.
I steer the car onto Heart’s street, slowing to look at house numbers.
“I guess I don’t have to ask how you know where I live,” she teases.
“Oh…heh. Well, your address is on your resume. But I put it into my phone anyway.”
“Presumptuous!” But she’s smiling.
I pull up in front of her house. The porch light is on, but the house is otherwise dark.
“Looks like no-one’s home yet,” she says. Turning back to me, she says, “Thank you for bringing dinner to my aunt in the hospital. And, for feeding me and mom, too. And for the driving lesson! That was so much fun.” She gathers her purse into her lap and unbuckles her seatbelt. “Good night, Kyle.”
No way she’s getting out of this car without a good-night kiss.
I reach out and brush the back of my fingers against her jaw.
Eyes shining, she smiles softly and tilts her head into my caress.
“C’mere,” I say quietly, leaning towards her. Sliding my hand under her silky hair, I pull her gently towards me.
Eyes downcast, she bites her lip, making a rush of heat flow straight from my heart, and from there to…parts unknown.
All I mean to do is to give her a short kiss good-bye.
But…aww, fuck…touching her lips with mine, their softness and fullness blazes that heat into a raging fire.
And without meaning to, the chaste, respectful kiss that I intended to give her gets away from me… the taste of her…the feel of her returning my kiss with a rising passion of her own… goddamn!
The kiss turns into a passionate expression of desire and longing and need.
Delicious.
Finally, we break away, both of us breathing hard.
For a moment, we rest our foreheads together, faces close, my eyes taking in her shining skin, her half-closed eyes and her adorable nose.
“Oh my goodness,” she says breathlessly.
“Tell me about it,” I reply, smiling. “You’d better go in before I kidnap and ravish you,” I say. “Or at least, before the neighbors call the cops.”
Giggling, she opens the door and gets out, leaving me with a raging hard-on.
Then she turns, half-crawls back in, and, eyes gleaming, kisses me one more time.
“Good-night,” she laughs. “See you Monday, boss!”
Chapter Ten
Heart
Mom pounces on me the minute she gets home, coming into my bedroom and closing the door behind her.
“So? Did you end up spending some time together with Kyle after you left the hospital or what?”
“Yes! He’s really cool, Mom. He gave me a driving lesson in his stick-shift car.”
“Really? That’s…well, that’s different. Hmm, I think I like that as a dating idea.”
“No one exactly said it was a date, but it kind of turned into one,” I say.
“Awesome! Nancy will love to know her evil little plan worked.”
“I know, right? Sheesh. She didn’t even try to hide it, did she?”
“Not just what she said tonight. Honey, you realize that she didn’t forget to tell Kyle she was sending you to work for him.”
“No?”
“No. She’s tired and her brain is stressed, but she was using her iPad just fine. Thinking just fine. Given how quickly she got back to normal, it’s hard to believe she’d forget such an important detail.”
“Why would she hide it on purpose? Would it matter that much?”
“I don’t know. Maybe she didn’t want to obligate her boss. I tried asking her but she waved me off. Honestly, I think she just wanted to give you two the chance to meet.” She regards me seriously. “I hope you won’t feel manipulated, but, if he’s a good man, and you two are attracted…maybe Nancy did a good thing.”
‘Well, shit. I don’t know what to think. But I do like him. He gives me butterflies, Mom.”
“Oh, my! Really? That’s lovely, honey. Well, then, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you. And myself! I’m fifty eight years old, Heart. I’m afraid I’ll be dead before I get any grandchildren.”
“Mom, please don’t start that again. You know I want to have my own business and be financially stable before I have kids.”
“I know honey. You want to wait at least ten years. But a lot can happen in ten years. I could be dead, for one thing.”
“Mom!”
“It’s the truth! There’s nothing wrong with wanting grandchildren…wanting your line to continue, Heart. It’s perfectly normal and healthy. Nancy never married, and you came along so late in our lives.” She tilts her head, smiling at me fondly. “It’s up to you, now. And you know how you love babies.”
“Yes but I’m not a baby machine. This isn’t the fifties, and women can’t plan their lives around having kids anymore.”
“You’re right,” she says quietly. “I’m sorry. I… just got a little excited, I guess. Kyle’s handsome and successful and Nancy says he’s a good man. There’s your stability right there, Heart. I’m just saying!” She holds her hands up. “I’ll mind my business.” Eyes sparkling, she tries, and fails, to put on an innocent look.
I look at her doubtfully, making her laugh. She comes to where I’m sitting at my desk and bends to hug me. “I’ll try to mind my business, then.”
Hugging her back, she kisses the top of my head loudly, then whispers: “Grandbabies!”
“Mom,” I say, but I can’t help smiling. She knows me too well.
Then, she takes my face between her hands and smooshes my cheeks up like she used to when I was a kid, making us both giggle.
Looking into my eyes, she says, “I’m gonna make a prediction: You just met your future husband and there’ll be a wedding within a year.”
And even though I know you can’t count your chickens before they hatch…her words give me a funny feeling in my stomach.
Like, they might come true.
I look at her quizzically. She raises her eyebrows, gives me a thumbs up, and then turns and leaves my room.
* * *
Kyle calls me the next night after supper.
“I just wanted to say hi, sweetie. I’m in my home office, trying to work on something new, but all I can think about is how yummy your kisses are.”
Warmth floods my being from my head to my toes. “Mmm. You’re not the worst kisser yourself. Boss,” I tease.
“Heh. I keep picturing you and me in an old black and white Hollywood office romance, where the boss chases the secretary around the desk. She’s wearing super-high heels and those old-fashioned stockings with the line up the back, you know?”
“A seam? Yes, those were kind of cute,” I say, and let out a breathy laugh.
“Cute? Those stockings, with any kind of heels, and a tight skirt that you can’t run very fast in? Va-voom!”
The picture he’s painting in my mind, combined with his low, sexy voice, is giving me gooseflesh.
“That…does sound like fun,” I manage. “Oh, my goodness. Is it getting hot in here?”
He chuckles that sexy chuckle again. “Yeah, it’s hot in here too. You’re making it hard to keep my mind on work.”
“Why are you working on a Saturday night, anyway?” I ask. “More de-bugging?”
“No. We’re working on something totally outside the box this time. Very hush-hush, proprietary stuff. Eyes only. You can’t talk about it, to anyone. Okay?”
“Ohh,
now, that sounds very James Bond. But, okay. I’m all ears!”
“It’s kind of out-there. It’s not software or hardware, see. It’s more like wetware, a new transmission medium. It’s based on a kind of bio-gel instead of the current technology. It has the potential for light-speed, quantum-level wireless transmission.”
“Bio-gel? Like, a living material?”
“Not exactly. It’s more like a kind of ionized, lab-cultured gelatin. It takes all its energy from the ambient electrical field, and uses quantum particles for transmission. Self-sustaining, self-replicating. Clean energy, no batteries, no chargers.”
I’m too shocked to say anything for a moment.
Then: “Are you…what? Quantum transmission? Seriously?” I sputter. “That does sound like James Bond stuff.” In my best Evil Villain accent, I say, “Now, ve take over ze earth’s powah grid and rool ze world!”
“This research does make me feel a bit like Dr. Evil sometimes,” he laughs. “But the gel is only steady and reliable on a small scale. It reproduces itself on the molecular level. In a few years time, it could power phones, gadgets, computers. Appliances eventually…maybe. It’s similar to nano-tech. Not enough juice to power a house, or a city. But I like your world domination ambition,” he jokes. “It’s very Pinky and the Brain.”
Giggling, I say, “Still, even small-scale, it sounds pretty exciting.”
“It is. It’s revolutionary. It will work anywhere on the planet. No more cell towers, no wi-fi. No money can be charged for transmission because no one can own the quantum field. And it’s completely secure, as well. Can’t be hacked or spied upon.”
“Holy shit! I had no idea that’s even possible.”
“Alright, the truth is…it isn’t. Yet. But me and the team are close to a breakthrough. We made some changes based on the work of one of my heroes, Nicolai Tesla. And I’ll be damned it if didn’t start working! We’ll know more about it soon.”
“Congratulations! No wonder you sound so fired up and happy.”
“A prototype is still years out, but yes I’m very happy with the progress.” Pause. “But that’s only a small part of it. You’re the biggest part, sweetheart.” Another pause, then: “Mmmhmm. Sweet Heart.”