“It ain’t kinky,” he barks.
“Now I’m curious as fuck. You bitches better start squawkin’,” I say, laughing when Ford gives me the finger.
“It ain’t kinky,” he says adamantly.
Wyatt leans forward. “He has to have Sterling’s movies playing in the background,” he mumbles.
“It ain’t kinky,” Ford demands.
“Oh fuck, I forgot about Sterling. Shit, drugs will fuck up a memory,” I grumble to myself.
Ford stands, his face is red and he looks angry as hell. “I don’t have to have her movies playing. You guys are assholes, it happened once, goddamn once,” he barks. He turns and walks away. We watch him go into the bathroom.
“It did only happen once,” Wyatt admits with a shrug.
“They were inseparable, what happened to them?” I ask.
Louis watches the bathroom, but he’s the one who speaks first. “She wanted to be a star. Not going to be that when you’re sitting on a farm poppin’ out Matthews babies,” he says, there’s a bite to his words, a sadness that I feel deep in my gut.
Lifting my hand, I scrub it over my face. We’re all fucked. All of us. We stay in silence. I’m not sure what Wyatt and Louis are thinking about, but me? I’m thinking about the past and then my future. I can’t let my past dictate my future, but I can’t bring that sweet little blonde down with me, not when I don’t know for sure the road I’m on.
Friends.
I’ll have to figure out a way to just be her friend. That word seems goddamn dirty, though. I fucking hate it. I wonder if my dick will be able to be friends with her, and not try to be friends with benefits.
Looking across the dancefloor, I see a pub-table with four women, staring right at us. “They trouble?” I ask Wyatt, lifting my chin toward them.
He chuckles. “In what sense?” he asks.
Turning back to him, I tilt my head to the side. He sighs, shaking his head. “No, not really. Just slutty.”
“Good. That’s what I need. See you guys in a few,” I say as I stand.
Louis laughs, and I hear Ford ask where I’m going. I have one mission, and one mission only. I need to fuck Channing off of my mind. I can’t have her. I can’t even attempt to take her. She does not need trash like me in her life, in her bed. Not now, not ever.
CHANNING
The television blares in my living room, but I ignore the words. All I can think about is my encounter with Avery earlier this afternoon. It will be all over town now. Everyone will know that I’m pregnant, with no daddy in sight.
My stomach twists. My life that felt complicated as it is has just been turned upside-down. The town that already had ideas about me, those are going to get blown the fuck up now. I’m sure plenty of people have their suspicions. It’s not like we were extremely discrete, especially meeting up at the only motel in town the past two years off and on. I’m sure plenty of people saw us or at least can put two-and-two together.
Closing my eyes, a vision of Rylan pops into my head. His mischievous, yet, gorgeous eyes. His smile, his handsome face, his tattoos. He’s nothing like James, absolutely nothing like him, yet I can’t stop thinking about him.
Placing my hand on my belly, I wonder what it would be like if I were available, if he would really want anything to do with me? If I would even have looked twice at him two weeks ago. I don’t know that I would have. I don’t know that I would have even seen him, not with James on my mind. Not when I thought James really loved me and we’d be together forever.
Foolish.
That’s what I was. Completely and totally blind and foolish. James has never cared about me, not ever. Two years of my life have been wasted by this manipulator. This child abuser. Granted, I was eighteen when we started, it doesn’t negate the fact that I was his student, and still very much in high school.
Standing up, I flip the television off and go to bed. My mind doesn’t stop spinning, not even after I’ve climbed between my faded, old scratchy sheets. Curling into a ball, on my side, I think about everything that could and will possibly happen in the coming weeks.
People will snicker, they will whisper, and point. Some will give me dirty looks, and all will talk about me and speculate. They will come up with their own story and spread it all around here. Maybe James is right. Maybe I should figure out how to just leave this little place.
There is nothing for me here, not really. No family worth a damn. No real home, just this little rented one-bedroom duplex. Nothing here is mine, not really. It’s all hand-me-down second-hand furnishings, hell even my clothes are that, too.
I have another fitful night’s sleep, it’s been the same every night since I found out about this pregnancy. I wonder if I’ll ever sleep again, I doubt it. There is this emptiness inside of me. Not just because of James, but because of the dream I had. It’s now dead. I won’t have a real family. All I have is this baby and me, against the world.
Chapter Six
CHANNING
I’m disappointed when my entire shift passes and Rylan and Wyatt don’t appear. After two days in a row, I was not only expecting Rylan, I was anticipating his visit. With a heavy sigh, I finish delivering the last plates of food I have before I can go home. This table of four girls are just annoying. I remember them from school, one year younger than me. They were popular back then for one thing and one thing only, by the looks of things that’s still why they’re popular.
“I don’t know where that man has been, or how he ended up here but thank God. It was the best lay I’ve had,” one of the girls squeals and giggles.
“Prison,” the other one chimes in.
The first girl’s eyes widen, as I set down her plate of hotcakes. “Well damn. Bad boys give the best dick. No wonder he was so damn dirty.”
“I don’t know girl, Rylan Lindsay is trouble. I can’t believe you even went home with him,” she says. My heart stops in my chest. It completely stops beating at her words.
The first girl giggles. “We didn’t make it that far. We ended up fucking against the backdoor of the bar.” She shrugs.
Quickly, I set the rest of their food down, and hurry away from them. I don’t, this time, hide in the kitchen though. I want to, but I don’t. I can’t continue to hide from everything and everyone. I need to be strong and stand tall. For me and for this baby.
Why am I upset anyway? Rylan is single and an adult. I have zero claim to him. I have no reason to feel that pang of hurt, that flow of jealousy—none. He isn’t mine, just like I’m not his. We are just two acquaintances, nothing more—nothing less.
Once the girls are finished eating, and pay their bill, leaving me only a one-dollar tip, I count out and leave for the day. I have enough cash in tips to pay for my unpaid electric bill and half of my water bill without dipping into my paycheck.
Parking in front of the grocery store, I let out a heavy sigh. I have twenty bucks to spare. It isn’t going to buy much, but if I’m careful and only get the extreme sale items, or maybe find some coupons, I’ll be able to eat for another day or two without coming back.
Walking into the store, I grab one of the small handheld baskets and make my way over to the fresh produce. I know I won’t be able to buy much, but my mouth waters at all of the fresh fruit. I want it all.
A cart rams into my hip as I stare at the strawberries, wondering if the small carton could work into my budget. Looking behind me, I shrink away. Jennifer Bridges is the driver of the buggy. Her eyes narrowed on me and a look of pure hatred in her features.
“Sorry,” I mumble, even though I know for certain that it wasn’t my hip that ran into her cart.
“Whore,” she sneers before she walks past me. Her shoulder clips mine on her journey.
I fall back against the strawberry display, my ass colliding with the edge. Tears fill my eyes as I look down at my shoes. “You okay, sweetheart?” a gentle voice asks. I feel a warm hand wrap around my shoulder and squeeze.
Lifting my head, I look up
into the prettiest light brown eyes I’ve ever seen. It’s Rylan. For a moment I’m lost in his gaze. Then I remember the girls from this morning, and I shrug my shoulder out of his grasp. His eyes shift to my shoulder as his hand falls with a frown.
“Channing?”
Pressing my lips together, I nod as I straighten my back. “I’m fine,” I lie.
I’m not fine. Not at all. She hurt me, and I have a feeling if we weren’t in public, things would have been worse. That scares me, especially since I live alone. I need to do something different, I need to leave this place.
“I’ll be fine,” I lie again.
He shakes his head, his hand wraps around my waist before I can get away from him. He tugs me against his chest, and I start to pant. I can’t help myself, pressed against his hard body, I’m rendered speechless and unable to inhale deeply.
“That bitch is after you for a reason. You’re going to tell me. Enough of this shit,” he grunts.
I shake my head but his eyes, they focus on me and they are serious. “There’s nothing to tell. It doesn’t matter,” I say, pressing my palms against his chest and try to push away from him.
He shakes his head a few times. His eyes lighting up with something that I can’t read. He pulls me a little tighter against him, lowering his head and I hold my breath when his lips press against my ear. “There is a story. I’m going to get it from you, today,” he rasps.
I try to push against him again, but he doesn’t let me. His head moves again, his lips touch the underside of my jaw, and I let out my breath in a whoosh. “Rylan,” I breathe.
“Hhmmm,” he hums
“Where is your little girlfriend?” I ask.
His body stiffens and he lifts his face from the side of mine, his wide eyes look down at me in surprise. “Girlfriend?” he asks.
“Four girls came into the diner. One seemed quite taken with your, abilities…” I let the words trail off.
His lips twitch and turn up into a smile. A cocky smile. I push against his chest again, this time he allows the distance between us. “What’d she say?” he asks on a chuckle.
Pressing my lips together, I turn my head to the side. He doesn’t allow the move for long, his hand comes out. His fingers extend and wrap around my chin, forcing my head to turn back to face him. His jovial demeanor is now gone, his gaze serious and focused on me.
“We’re talking. Get the shit you need, and we’ll go to your place. I’ll just let Wyatt know that I’m with you,” he announces.
I open my mouth, but he turns his head and looks toward Wyatt. I didn’t even see him standing next to the beer display. He frowns as he looks over at us, but only lifts his chin toward Rylan and then walks away.
“Rylan, there’s nothing to say. It’s not your problem, it’s mine,” I mutter.
His eyes cut me with a sharp look, and he shakes his head once. “Let’s go,” he grunts. I watch as he wraps his fingers around the handle of my basket and gently shifts it to his side. His other hand he places against my lower back and together we walk through the store.
“This isn’t much food,” he points out once I’ve agonized over every single item in my cart. He’s been patient. He hasn’t said a word, just followed along and carried my basket.
I look over to him, my teeth sinking into the corner of my bottom lip. “I don’t need much,” I shrug.
He frowns, then nods, but doesn’t say anything, thankfully. We walk up to the express lane and I watch as he sets the basket down on the conveyor belt. Looking across the checkouts, I see her. She’s watching me, her lips tipped into a smirk as she waits to unload her overflowing buggy.
Rylan looks from me, then back to her. His head slowly turns to me again. “Yeah, we’re talking,” he announces.
It doesn’t take us long to check out. The cash register rings up to a grand total of nineteen-dollars-and-thirty-eight-cents. I pull out my worn twenty-dollar bill, but I’m not fast enough. Rylan hands money to Tulip, the checker, before I can even get my money out of my purse.
“Rylan,” I rasp, wrapping my fingers around his wrist.
He turns to me. “Never let a woman pay for shit. My daddy didn’t teach me much in this life, but he taught me that,” he murmurs.
My heart leaps inside of my chest at his words. I’ve never had a man pay for anything unless you count James paying for the motel in town for a few hours. Which I don’t. Once my small meager bag is packed, Rylan picks it up, and together we walk out of the store.
“You gotta drive, babe. I don’t have my license back yet. Working on that shit this week, gotta get my Class A for work,” he explains.
I nod, unsure as to why he’s telling me all of this, and then kind of in awe of how easily he’s talking about his situation. I would think that he’d be embarrassed, upset even, but he isn’t. He’s nonchalant about it, and it’s sexy.
I don’t bother popping the trunk of my car. Rylan sets the bag on the floorboard of the passenger seat, then climbs inside, straddling it with his feet. Starting my engine, I buckle up, and crank my air conditioning, afraid that my car is too hot for him.
“My air doesn’t get very cold,” I admit as I shift into reverse.
He doesn’t say anything, he just looks straight ahead. The drive to my house is too quiet. It makes me nervous, but I also don’t want to fill it with idle chit chat.
Gripping the steering wheel tightly, I wonder what this conversation of ours will yield. I already know I’m going to have to tell him about the baby, and when I do, he’s assuredly going to run far away from me. He should. He should just fucking go.
I’m a mess, and apparently Jennifer wants to hurt me on top of everything, as if being abandoned and pregnant isn’t enough. Though, maybe I deserve it. I did knowingly cheat with her husband. At the end of the day, I did something wrong, not her.
RYLAN
Channing stays quiet as she pulls into the driveway of a little duplex in an older neighborhood. Looking around, it’s rundown, but it’s better than anywhere I grew up as a kid. She’s working her ass off, and she has something to show for it. I find it amazing for a girl her age. Her life is already completely opposite of the life I’ve lived.
We continue our silence as we walk up the drive of her duplex, and inside. I close the door behind me, locking it before I follow her into the kitchen. Setting the bag in the middle of a two person pub table, I watch her put the contents away.
When she’s finished, she turns around, her ass resting against the counter, her fingers gripping the edge tightly. “You wanted to talk,” she says, keeping her voice quiet and her eyes on her feet.
“I do, look up at me, sweetheart,” I murmur.
She lifts her gaze to meet my own. Her blue eyes wide and a bit frightened looking. “Do you want to tell me what this is about with that couple? The woman in the grocery store was the same woman from the diner. Both of them were pretty hostile toward you, and today she physically assaulted you. If I was a different man, from a different time, she wouldn’t have walked out of that place so haughtily,” I state.
Channing sucks in a breath, obviously understanding my meaning, maybe not to the extent she should, but she gets me at least. She inhales deeply, then releases it with a sigh. “Let’s sit on the sofa,” she offers, lifting her chin behind me in the direction of the living room.
Turning away from her, I walk into the comfortable space and sit down in the corner of the couch. My back is to the bedroom and kitchen, my front to the front door. Not ideal, but I’m always alert these days, so it shouldn’t be much of a problem, at least not for a short conversation.
She walks past me and sits down, her scent following behind her and my cock twitches immediately. I try not to stare at her full tits as she sits. Her eyes find mine and I lift my gaze to hers, waiting for the bomb she’s going to drop. I can tell it’s going to be huge, fucking gargantuan.
“I don’t know why I’m telling you anything,” she whispers.
My lips
twitch as I watch her. “You got a problem, and it ain’t goin’ away. You need someone at your back, and other than that lady you work with, I don’t think you have anyone.”
She nods slowly. Her blue eyes filling with tears. I shift in my seat. I don’t do tears. Crying women are not something that I’ve ever been around. Never had a long term girlfriend, my mom never cried unless she was trying to get dope from someone. Basically, I don’t do emotions, but she’s looking at me with her big blue tear-filled eyes, and all I want to do is make the hurt disappear.
“When I tell you, you’ll leave and never look back. I don’t even know you, and I already know that I don’t want that,” she breathes.
Lifting my chin, I spread my legs and place my elbows on my thighs as I wait. “Been patient for five years, Channing. I can be a patient man if I need to be, apparently,” I murmur with a small smile.
She inhales, then she stands. I watch as she pulls her shirt behind her, making it tight around her mid-section. There’s a small bump. It ain’t much, but I know what it is without having to even ask. If I saw her walking down the street I’d think she was just bloated, maybe carried her carbs in her belly. The way her legs are shaking that’s not what this is.
“You’re knocked up,” I state. It’s not a question. It’s a statement. Lifting my eyes from her little belly, I find her trembling lips, then her watery gaze. “That married man the daddy, then?” I ask.
Wyatt was right. Little brother is like older brother. Goin’ after the young tail, and if I had to guess, Channing was his student when it all began. He told me a little about Jacob Bridges and the young girls he likes to take to bed. James Bridges is apparently cut from the same fucking cloth.
“He wants me to get an abortion. His wife is pregnant, too,” she whimpers before she sinks back onto the sofa.
CONVICT: An Unfit Hero Novel Page 5