“Fuck you taste good,” he growls after his tongue swirls my clit. “I need to be inside of you,” he announces.
Yes. Yes. I need that too. So, so badly.
He backs away and I think he’s going to slide inside of me, but he doesn’t. Disappointment flourishes in my chest when I don’t feel him penetrate my center immediately. Instead, he climbs up my body, turns around, and straddles my head. His palms press against the mattress at my hips and then slowly he sinks forward. The head of his cock brushes against my lips, at the same time he sucks on my clit.
“Open, Channing. I’ll go slow, sweetheart,” he promises, his breath fanning against my center.
I open my mouth at the same time I lift my hips. Rylan groans, his cock slipping between my lips. He fucks my mouth, his thrusts are shallow and slow. He doesn’t push me to take more than I’m able. It’s sensual, and it makes me feel so damn sexy all at the same time.
He is holding himself back, I have a feeling his massive amount of control is the only thing keeping him from slamming his hard cock down my throat. The thought of him losing control that way sends excitement throughout my entire body. Maybe one day he will, hopefully.
Right now, he treats me like I’m breakable, special, and I love it—every part of the way he is with me. I know there’s more to him, a darkness that lurks just beneath the surface and I want that, too. I want all of him, every damn piece.
Moaning around his dick, I lift my hips when his tongue focuses on my clit. We work together, my hips lifting at the same time his descend. I can feel his cock grow, and I know that he’s close. The thought of him coming because of me, because of the way that I make him feel is exciting, it brings me closer to the edge, myself.
He growls against my pussy, his teeth scraping my clit and that’s when it happens. That’s when I fall over the edge that I had been teetering on. I cry out around him, unable to suck and lick his length, too lost in my own climax.
His weight leaves me, my eyes flutter closed, and my body twitches a few times before I jump. The first warm spurt of Rylan’s release touches my breast and my eyes fly open in surprise. He grunts a few times, his hand stroking his length.
I lick my lips at the sight. His muscular arms, his strong tattoo-covered torso. The way his hair hangs down around his forehead and a little longer, covering his eyes a little bit. His teeth that he’s sunk into his bottom lip.
All of him is absolutely beautiful.
His eyes slowly lift to mine, and he grins. I watch him release his hold on his dick, his hand slowly pressing against my chest. Wordlessly, he smears his release over my breasts, watching his movements, tracing his hand. Then, slowly, his eyes lift to mine and he searches my face.
“Fuck. How did this happen?”
“What?”
He smiles, though it’s almost a sad smile. His index finger plays in his release, swirling it around one nipple, then the other. “You here with me? I still can’t believe this is my life,” he mutters.
Wrapping my hand around his wrist, I squeeze until he stops moving and his eyes meet mine again. “I could say the same. I think the exact same thing, Rylan. The only explanation I have is that this is where we’re meant to be. I used to hate the saying, everything happens for a reason, but I understand it now.”
He smiles, but his eyes don’t, they stay contemplative looking, almost sad. “I’m going to miss you,” he sighs.
I watch as he slowly moves to drape his legs over the side of the bed and buries his face in his palms.
Sitting up, I crawl behind him and rest my cheek against his back, wrapping my arms around his waist. I don’t care that I’m pressing his cum against us. We can shower, together. Right now, there is something working inside of him, something that I don’t understand.
“I’ll miss you too, but think about all the exciting things we have coming in the future,” I breathe.
He grunts, one of his hands wrapping around mine. He squeezes me, then clears his throat. “Let’s get cleaned up, we have a long day tomorrow.”
We don’t say anything else. I’m too lost inside of my own head trying to figure out Rylan’s mood shift. It’s not a huge one, but I can tell something is weighing on him, and it’s not just him leaving for a few weeks. It’s bigger, it’s more than that—it’s deeper.
Once we’re showered and we head to bed. He pulls me against his chest, his lips touch the back of my shoulder and I think he’s going to say something, but instead he lets out a sigh.
“If you need to, you can talk to me,” I whisper into the dark.
He clears his throat, staying quiet for another moment. “I know, Channing. I know that I can, and I’m so fucking grateful for that.”
He doesn’t actually tell me anything. Nothing. But the fact that he knows he can seems to be half of the battle, I think. I want it to be true, anyway. I lace my fingers with his against my stomach and flex them. I don’t speak, even though I have so much to say to him, to ask him, I don’t. Closing my eyes, I enjoy the moment of being wrapped in his arms.
Rylan’s thigh slides between my legs, pressing against my center and we both make a noise. “You mean everything to me, Channing. I’m sorry if I fuck all of this up,” he whispers.
It’s so low that I don’t think he realizes he’s said the words aloud. They make me sad when they should make me happy. I don’t react to his whispered words, I keep my breath even and calm. I hope he’ll realize one day that he is the best thing to have happened to me and this baby. That he means everything to us. He won’t fuck anything up, because he tries too hard to make everything right. He’s a good man, with a good heart, and we will come out on top. We have to.
RYLAN
“Call came this morning. We need to be on the road by noon,” Wyatt announces from his truck.
Looking at him I lift my chin. “Let me go tell Channing. She packed my shit last night for me, I’m ready to go,” I call out.
Turning away from him, I don’t wait for a response. Jogging into the bedroom, I see Channing lying on her side. Her hands are beneath her cheek and she smiles before her eyes flutter open.
“Back so soon?” she rasps huskily.
She’s tired, I fucked her this morning before I got up and showered for work. I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help it. Her body was warm and soft nestled against mine, and she makes the sweetest little noises when she sleeps.
“I have my appointment at the DMV at eight, then we have to be on the road by noon, Wyatt just told me,” I explain, sitting down next to her.
Her eyes widen, and gone is her lazy satisfied appearance. She doesn’t look panicked, but she does seem concerned. Lifting my hand, I run my fingers across her still swollen lips. They’re swollen from my kisses this morning, from my nibbles and sucks. I love her lips, hell, I love every part of her.
“Promise me that you’ll be safe? It hasn’t even hit yet. I’ve been watching the weather reports,” she says.
I smile, leaning down, I move my hand and press my lips against her own. “I’ll be safe, swear to fuck, sweetheart. I’ll make my way back to you, as soon as I can,” I promise.
She lets out a breath, a sigh of relief and nods. “I already miss you,” she breathes.
I wink. “Louis’ name and number are in your phone. I also wrote them down on a piece of paper and left it by the counter. I get paid while I’m gone, but I don’t have a bank account yet so they’ll be holding my checks at the office. I don’t know how to get them signed over to you, though,” I ramble.
Channing lifts her hand, pressing it against my lips. “We’ll be okay, Rylan. I’ll be working and I make enough to take care of myself while you’re away. Just worry about being safe,” she says, her voice soft and sweet.
I nod, wrapping my hand around her wrist and tugging it off of my mouth. Dipping my chin, I brush my lips across hers one last time. “Call me if you need me. I’ll try to call you every day,” I promise.
She smiles, but she doesn’t
speak. Standing, I turn from her, walking quickly out of the house. If I don’t go right now, and fast, then I don’t know if I’ll be able to go at all. Grabbing my bag, I sling it over my shoulder, then lock the door behind me.
Jogging toward Wyatt’s pickup, I toss my bag in the bed and climb inside of the cab.
“She okay?” he asks, shifting the truck into gear.
Turning my head, I look back at the house as he drives away. “Yeah, she is. Louis is cool with everything?” I ask.
Wyatt chuckles and my head turns quickly to the side to watch him. He doesn’t look at me, his focus is on the road, but I wait because I know he has more to say. I ball my fists, trying to calm my fucking ass down, and not pummel my own fucking cousin.
“Don’t act fucking crazy. Louis will be fine, and so will Channing. Christ, you’re easy to rile up.”
I almost pop off with some smart assed remark about Sammi, and how I could easily rile him up with just mentioning her name, but I don’t. Instead, I sit back in my seat and decide to focus on my upcoming driver’s test.
Fuck, I hope I pass this shit. I need it for my job, but I also just fucking need it for myself. To prove to myself that I can do it. I haven’t been behind the wheel since the accident that I caused, I need to own the fucking road again, to prove that I am better than I was five years ago, that I am not that man anymore.
I need it for Channing and the baby, but also, I need it for myself. Especially as the anniversary of the accident approaches. And it is coming up, quickly.
Chapter Eighteen
CHANNING
Lulamae smiles at me, she actually smiles and I shake my head. Crazy lady, I think to myself. Lucy looks at Lulamae and then back to me. Her smile appears as well, and then I hear Clarence chuckle from the back of the kitchen, and it almost sounds like an I told you so, laugh.
“I knew he would be good for you,” Lulamae laughs.
Turning to her, I frown. “You told me he was bad news and to stay away from him,” I remind her.
She shrugs. “That was before I knew he wasn’t a replica of his daddy. Now that I know, I like you two together,” she grins.
I shake my head, refusing to even go there with the lady. “Anyway, would it be okay if I stayed here until Rylan comes back?” I ask, turning back to Lucy, the owner of Crazy Lucy’s diner.
“Hun, you stay here as long as you like. We won’t hire anyone until you leave anyway. My daughter needs a job, Lord knows she’s fixin’ to drive me to drink. Maybe I’ll just have you train her for me,” Lucky says.
“Thank you so much,” I breathe.
She laughs, it’s soft and melodic. “Hun, you’ve been here since you were sixteen years old. I’d never just turn you out. You’re family,” she smiles. “I’m real happy you found you a good man and that he sees the importance of getting you the hell out of this town in your situation.” She dips her chin and her voice, simultaneously looking at my belly.
“Thank you, Lucy, thank you so much,” I whisper as tears fill my eyes.
She shakes her head, waving her hand around. “Now, let’s get to work. People want their biscuits and gravy, they want their sausage and hotcakes. Let’s have a great day,” she announces, lifting her hand in a wave.
Lula wraps her arm around my shoulder and gives me a gentle squeeze. “Real happy for ya, Channing. Wish you didn’t have to go, wish that jackass would get what he deserves and you’d stay, but still I’m real happy for you,” she mutters. She releases me and quickly walks away. I don’t say anything to her, she doesn’t show her emotions often and when she does, she doesn’t like to be called out on them.
Inhaling deeply, I let my breath out slowly, then I do what Lucy instructed. I get to work. My day goes by quickly, and I’m glad. It seems as though each day brings some kind of new emotional challenge for me. I’m just glad that today I only have to deal with Rylan leaving. I don’t know that I could handle a whole lot more at this point.
Once work is finished for the day, I grip my prepaid phone in my hand and hurry toward my car. Thankfully, I have plenty of groceries left over from our shopping trip, so I don’t have to go to the store. I’m exhausted, my feet hurt, and I just want a long nap before I eat, then pass out for bed.
Pulling into my driveway, I shift my car in park and climb out with a yawn. Keeping my head down, I walk toward my front door, but something causes me to freeze. Lifting my head, I look around, and see a man leaning against a fancy black car.
My breath hitches. The man smiles and lifts his hand. He’s tall, thick with muscle, and has dark hair. Once he takes his dark sunglasses off, I let out a sigh of relief. It’s Louis. I watch him jog in my direction.
“Didn’t scare you, did I?” he asks with a frown once he’s close to me.
Shaking my head, I shrug. “A little, but not really scared, just startled me. Took me a second to recognize you,” I say, smiling up at him.
He grins, he’s handsome. I mean, you can tell he’s been punched in the nose a few times, but overall he’s extremely good looking. I don’t know why he doesn’t have a woman in his life, and the thought makes me a little sad. He deserves someone, heck, all of Rylan’s friends do. Everyone does.
A thought crosses my mind, oh God I’m one of those people who is happy in a relationship, that wants everyone else in one too. I never thought I would be that way, because I was never happy and never in a real relationship with James, I never understood it, at least not until now.
“Just wanted to make sure you made it home okay from work,” he says with a shrug.
I continue to smile up at him, really wondering all over again why he’s single. “I’m good. Nothing happened today, it was a good day.”
“If you need anything you know how to get ahold of me?”
Nodding my head, I tell him yes. Louis lifts his chin, turns around and waves at me from behind his back as he hurries to his car. “I’ll see you around,” he calls out once he’s at the driver’s side of his vehicle.
“See ya,” I wave.
Without hesitation, I turn the knob to my front door and slip inside. Locking myself into the duplex, I toss my purse onto the sofa and make my way into the kitchen. There is a chocolate cake that isn’t just calling my name, it’s screaming it.
Opening the fridge, I look down at the cake. Rylan only had a small piece last night, mine was double the size of his and there is still over half a cake left over. I contemplate taking out a plate and knife and cutting myself a piece, but then I think about the number of dishes that I’ll have to do.
Bending down, I take the cake container out of the fridge, then walk over to the drawer and grab a fork. Without allowing myself to think too much into it, I sit down on the sofa, click on the television and dive into the cake.
Nobody else is here to know that I ate it straight out of the container. Plus, nobody else is around to share it with me. For the first time in weeks, I’m alone. Truly alone. My eyes glance around my little duplex, a feeling of loneliness creeps into my chest and turns into an ache. I shouldn’t care. I have lived on my own since I was eighteen years old.
Rylan has changed all of that though, he’s changed me. I’m used to having him here, making him dinner, waking up curled into his side. As much as I hate to admit it, even to myself, I feel almost dependent on him, now. I’m not that girl. I’m independent, or at least I always thought that I was, maybe I’ve never been.
“Fuck,” I breathe. “Fuck,” I repeat. “I’m needy, greedy, and completely dependent on this man.”
My heart starts to race, it bangs against my chest hard and heavy. It happened without me realizing. No, that’s not true, it happened because I wanted it to. It happened because deep down inside, every girl wants to feel beautiful, special, and loved. James never made me feel that way, but Rylan does—every day.
Guilt fills me up. Am I using him? Am I using this man who is searching for a new beginning to benefit myself? My teeth sink into my bottom lip. The cake do
esn’t taste as good as it did just a few moments ago, in fact, it’s almost bitter tasting now.
Leaning forward, I set the cake down on the coffee table in front of me and stare straight ahead. The television is on, but I don’t see anything. All I can think about is Rylan and me, and the fact that I feel manipulative. I never intended to be that way, to use him, but isn’t that what I’m doing.
Isn’t he using you too? a voice whispers in my ear.
I shake my head. Is he? Are we using each other? If that’s the case, then is it so bad? He wants a fresh start on life, and so do I. Is it so bad that we do that together? Clutching and holding onto one another.
I bite the corner of my lip even harder. Lying down on my side, I stare at the movement on the television, not really watching, just seeing. Eventually, my eyes close and I fall asleep. What feels like seconds later my phone rings, startling me and waking me up.
Glancing around my living room, I feel a bit disoriented as I reach for my ringing phone. It’s dark, the sun no longer spilling into my home, and the television still plays.
“Hello?” I answer, my voice groggy.
“I didn’t wake you, did I?” Rylan asks.
Hearing his voice sends a sense of calm over me. All of those doubts I had earlier, all of the questions, they disappear. Whatever it is, whatever reason, I know just from hearing his voice that this is right—he is right.
“I fell asleep on the couch,” I admit.
He chuckles, his voice deep and husky. “We made it to the hotel. We’ll wait out the storm tomorrow and then start working once it’s over,” he explains.
“I worry about you,” I admit.
He hums. “I worry more about you.”
I tell him about Louis coming over to make sure I made it safely home, and into the house. He doesn’t say anything, just let’s out an unhappy grunting noise. “You know I’m fucking jealous that he’s there and I can’t be, even though I know being here is what we need for our future,” he explains.
CONVICT: An Unfit Hero Novel Page 14