New Beginning : A Beautiful Ethereal Creature (Spirit Wolf Book #1)

by Jacqueline Hakitten

  “Look, I am sorry I didn’t tell you, but please, please, try to

  understand me. I wanted to tell you I was afraid. I was afraid that you might change your mind, that maybe I would be a burden too heavy to bear. I didn’t doubt you. I doubt myself.” I told him and I meant it. It was true. I doubted myself. I didn’t believe that I am good enough to have him as a mate. I didn’t believe that with everything I represent he would choose me over his pack. I didn’t believe in myself. The realization of those thoughts hit me like a hammer. I always trusted Maat. I knew that whatever would happen she would always find the way for us to get out. But not even a single time I actually believed in myself. My eyes started to watery from the sour truth that I just realized. “You would never be a burden. You are my sunshine, my cute little mate, my princess.” He told me, his voice still bearing the pain yet gentle and warm. He came to me and pulled me into his hug. “You are my mate, my world, my life. You are my everything.” He spoke to me and I felt hot tears falling down my face. He kissed the top of my head before he pulled me into another hug.

  “I am sorry. I am really sorry.” I replied to him through my sobs and tears. “No more secrets princess. No more hiding. You belong to me the same as I belong to you. No matter what is in your past, your presence, or in your future, we are in this together. I would go through hell if I have to.” I could say he was deadly serious about that. I pushed away a little bit to be able to see into his eyes. I lifted my head and saw that he was looking down straight into my own soul through my watery eyes. I nodded to him and the seconds after I found myself connected to him through our lips. He kissed me like our own lives were depending on it, hunger and frustration hidden deep inside of our hearts, from long separation and loneliness. I could feel the mixed emotions inside his aura. I didn’t break the kiss. I knew he needed it the same as I did.

  I don’t know how long we stood there with our lips locked in a hot kiss, but it was he who in the end had to get himself under control to stop right here. I was grateful that he was able to stop it without continuing deeper but at the same time our lips parted from each other a strange emptiness filled me. I wanted more. I was hungry for more but I could not put him into this position. Technically I am still not an adult and I am sure he would be angry for himself and thinking like he just took advantage of me. Despite my own body seeking him, I let him push me away so he could cool himself. I could already feel what my presence was doing to him.

  “I am sorry.” I apologized and since I was red even behind my ears, he knew exactly what I was apologizing. “You don’t need to apologize for making me hot, princess.” He told me with his own blush on his cheeks. “I could wait. You are worth much more, believe me.” He told me softly while kissing the top of my head. “We should probably head back to the party as well. I guess many others felt you came into the pack link and they would have questions so I guess it is time to introduce their Luna.” He told me. Honestly about this step I wasn’t so sure.

  “We couldn’t tell them that I am a wolf or even a spirit wolf. Please, stick with the plan that I am human.” I pleaded. I looked straight into his eyes and I was really afraid that he would want to tell everyone. I wasn’t ready to become Luna. It would bring a lot of attention. I think he read the fear and worries inside my eyes because his eyes soften directly. I think he might be afraid of another panic attack. I had last time over fifteen people and now he wanted me to stay in front of the hundreds. How am I supposed to survive that? I forgot to prepare myself for this step. “Relax, relax.” He was stroking my hair trying to soothe me. “I would announce them myself and I would arrange the slow introductions. We would adjust it to your speed. I remember that you need small groups and time to adjust yourself. By the time you would overcome it and you would get to know every member of our pack.” He smiled at me giving me power and encouragement. I could do it. Maybe not today in front of everyone but step by step I could meet every single member of our pack, of my pack.

  “Our pack,” I said out loud with the smile. “It sounds great,” I added and he smiled back amusedly and happily. “It does.” He replied to me.

  ~*****~

  Soon after I found myself inside the bedroom seriously tired. Calen has returned to the party and he promised me that someone would bring me the food so I could eat something. I think I haven't eaten since morning maybe and I was already starving. Too many things were on today that I completely forgot to eat during the day. I head quite knock on my door. “Come in.” To my surprise, Tamara opened the door bringing the plate with some grilled deer meat, vegetables, and bread. It smelled amazing.

  “Good evening Rei. How are you?” She asked me concerned. Did I look pale? I wasn’t sure but I was definitely starving and the moonlight also didn’t add the color onto my already naturally pale skin. “I am good. I guess.” I replied to her and wasn't really sure about my own feelings actually. A lot of things happened during the last few hours and now finally my body and brain were catching up with the events of the afternoon up to now. A lot of emotions were mixed together and I could not organize them.

  “Do you want to talk about that?” She asked me to hand me the plate. She sat right beside me on the bed and looked right into my eyes. “You know you could always tell me anything.” She added and I nodded. I was glad that it was Tamara to bring me the food because like that I could really talk to someone. I was sure where or how to start but I definitely needed some woman advice now. I told her everything since the afternoon I was alone with Elders. Everything that Hannah told us about the Silver packs and especially about my pack.

  I stopped there because there was something, I wanted to ask her about her own past. If what Hannah said was true that Tamara had to be also from one of those packs. “She was right,” Tamara confirmed when I stopped probably reading my unspoken question in my eyes. “Only the women from Silver packs have long hair like me or you. But only you bear the silver hair yourself as the Spirit wolf.” She told me and I was shocked. She already knew? But how? I stared at her with my eyes widened. “You are probably asking yourself how I knew about you. Silver Moon pack women are holders of the pure blood, only in your pack could be Spirit wolf reborn. My pack, Silver Full Moon has oracles. They could foresee the future. That’s why I was sent away from my pack a long time ago before the attacks came.” She told me. “But if they knew about the attacks, then they could stop it before it even happened,” I said distressed. No one would have to die if they already knew that it would happen so why? “This is not how the gifts from our mother Moon Goddess work. Saving the three clans or even warning them would bring more chaos and put you into greater danger. Silver packs were created to protect our royal family, your family, and if that meant to sacrifice their lives, they would do it without asking or questioning their purpose.” She was serious. She knew even more than Hannah. Hannah just got her heritage from her own mother with some little information but Tamara was sent out on purpose. She was sent out to her mate to stay in his pack because they knew that I would end up here. Was something like that even possible? ‘We should better believe that. She might give us more answers.’ Maat told me and I agreed with her. “Why didn't you tell me before that you already know about me?” I asked her curiously. She could tell me actually anytime or more like ask me. “I know what you went through so I was simply waiting for you to open up.” She told me smiling. Zack doesn’t know that it's the same as Calen but I have the powers of my parents. I am the last Silver Full Moon member so I am carrying the purpose to keep our bloodline alive. Zack would not be very happy since I am not sure if I would ever give him a baby boy but he is happy for our girls.” She said smiling but I could sense the sadness in her. She wanted to grant her mate a son but because of her gift and heritage, she couldn’t. At least not until she secures the girls to bear her gift. “Doesn’t that mean I would not have a boy too, that I would bring only the girls to continue my bloodline?” I asked her and she shook her head. “I don’t know. This is
up to Moon Goddess would but it is true that usually our purpose is fulfilled we keep our powers and during this time we bring the girls to bear our blood, our heritage, but none of us know what the Moon Goddess would.” She explained to me stroking my hair and giving a sigh.

  “What is that?” I asked her. She seemed also worried. “Since you are already here our situation would slowly start to change.” She answered me and I knew she could not tell by herself whether the changes would be good or bad.

  Chapter 24

  “Come in,” I replied to a knock on my office door. I had a hunch, who might be on the other side of those doors so early in the morning. I didn’t sleep well, to be honest. I was still thinking about yesterday’s event. Don’t get me wrong, I was really happy for having my cute little mate in the pack and even happier from being able to mind-link her whenever I felt so, but I could not get out of my head the thought of her hiding even from me. It hurt, and it hurt badly. It was burning inside like the fire and I had no way how to extinguish it.

  I understood she had her reasons and even her inner fight whether to tell me or just wait but it still damn hurt me knowing that she was afraid to trust me despite saying that she actually didn’t trust herself. ‘She spent long years alone. Her whole pack was massacred by someone who was searching for her. We are in her life for two months so give her some time, dumbass.’ My wolf scolded me again. Last few weeks he is doing nothing else just scolding me, not like I don’t deserve that. ‘I know and I try to process it. Why do you think I stopped arguing with her yesterday and let it go? Now it is my turn to process it inside and get over it somehow.’ I replied to him annoyed, especially knowing that I have some not really pleasant talk ahead of me.

  “Good morning son.” Ismail’s voice greeted me and I could hide my displeasure with him calling me son. “I am not your son. I told you to stop calling me like that.” I skipped the greeting and directly uttered at him. I couldn’t miss him narrowing his lips trying to hide his own pain since I was so bald to insult him by not giving a damn good morning. I didn’t care. For what I care he could actually leave the clan.

  Yes, I admired him a lot when I was a little boy. But that was a long time ago when he was gamma, third in command under my father. Since the attack on our pack when he lost his bellowed mate and wife, he became the pain in the ass of everyone and there was nothing we could do about that. Andrew was already old which I think was now blessing because he would be probably stuck with the bad father.

  “What brings you here so early in the morning?” I tried to pretend to be a little bit nice and actually at least ask him what he wanted. “I wanted to talk about that ticking bomb you welcomed yesterday into our pack. If what Hannah said is true…,” I stopped him mid-sentence. Did he just call my mate a ticking bomb?

  “That ‘Ticking bomb’ you are referring to is my mate and your future Luna and you show her respect or you are free to leave our pack. Am I clear?” I said with my Alpha voice. I was really pissed at him. He should never get the seat of the Elder. This seat gave him power almost comparable to mine and he grows cocky about that. I think he is starting to think that maybe he should run the pack and not me. Well, we would show him who the Alpha here is.

  I could see him whimper and make a step back from the power in my voice. “She is a Spirit wolf. Those attacks six years ago were because of her and if you keep her here, we would be next. I am doing this for our pack.” He tried to argue with me which was a bad choice. I already made my choice, despite being my mate she was still an under-aged girl living alone in the woods separated from the people. Who would I be leaving someone like that out?

  “You are forgetting one thing. We are the most powerful pack on this continent and maybe all around the world. Do you really think someone would dare to threaten us? I was not stupid to build our strength only inside our clan. We have allies and if the situation would ask for it I would give them a piece of land around so they could stay closer to us. What happened to the unshaken gamma of the Red Moon pack who was serving under my father?” I spoke firmly, with authority and power inside my voice. I was Alpha for ten years now. I didn’t go through the wolf calling ritual to awaken my Alpha at a young age to put the tail in between my legs just because my mate was a mythical creature and some moron wants her. She is mine. She was given by Moon Goddess to me and if she was the reason my pack got attacked so I could learn how to defend myself, my whole pack just to make sure that I would be able to protect my mate then it was worth it. My dad and my mom would approve too, I am sure about that. ‘They both would be proud of you now; you could be sure about that.’ Thoth encouraged me.

  ‘Thank you, bro.’ I told him back with satisfaction. He knew when to step up to calm my mind. “It doesn’t matter how strong you are. They massacred three packs just to find her. You would bring death to our people.” He spitted back. “Don’t forget who is the Alpha of the pack and as I said she is my mate and your future Luna. You would provide respect to her the same as to me.” I practically shouted back with my voice pretty loud.

  “You don’t deserve to be Alpha. You would bring the whole pack into its end. Your parents would be ashamed of you boy.” He spitted another shit*y answer.

  ‘He is not loyal to us.’ Thoth commented. I could sense that. He

  doesn’t take me as his Alpha otherwise his wolf would not let him talk

  to me like that.

  “You are free to leave the pack anytime. You would be stripped of your duties as Elder the same as of your rank. I would speak with others about your behavior.” I talked to him already standing in front of him with my full height. I was a little taller than him which gave me a little power over him at this moment.

  “It would not be necessary.” I heard from behind the door and Lea with Hannah entered my office without a further knock. They must have stood there a while now listening to the conversation. I was so focused on this person standing right in front of me that did not notice. “We already heard his way of talking. We are Elders, respected for our wisdom and self-control. Our role is to provide guidance to the Alpha of the pack the same as respect. If you couldn’t respect Alpha then you are not welcome as Elder and you don’t deserve this position.” Lea said putting as much power as she could into her voice. Leona was the sister of Philip so she was carrying beta blood the same as her brother. But because she was, she-wolf she had no chance to become beta before her brother. Pack rules.

  “If you are not able to obey your Alpha and show this kind of

  disrespect to him, we could strip you of your title,” Hannah added after Lea’s speech. I was actually grateful they came together. It meant that if they agree with me, I could remove him from his post right here without the necessity of calling the rest of the Elders.

  “You couldn’t just strip me of my title like this? The majority of the Elders council has to approve.” He tried to argue with the same poison in his voice with Hannah. Arguing with me is one thing but arguing with her, well, there is only one way to go to hell and he just made the first step to follow that path.

  I could already feel the power coming right from Hannah. She was Alpha blood, the same as my father. On top of that, I know that she always had some kind of strength or special powers in her voice which made everyone oblige. I could see her using her voice many times on my father. Even though he was a big bad Alpha was terrified when he did something that would definitely make my aunt angry. Seeing her now I should maybe start to pray for Ismail’s soul.

  “The majority is already here. I agree with our Alpha. Leona already gave you her point of view as well. Even if Peter or Philip would stay by you, it is only two over three votes. You are out of the council and you are no longer welcome in Elders chambers. You are not allowed to leave the pack-land until we decide what to do with you.” Her voice was calm and with a normal tone but I could sense the weight of her words. Even I had to shiver to hear her speaking this was and the power she imbued her words with. He could maybe disobey m
e but definitely, he couldn’t disobey her. Damn, I am not sure I could disobey her.

  Hannah looked at me winking with her eyes supportively. Seriously I need to ask her to teach me this technique of the voice she is using. Ismail whimpered because he could not disobey. He rushed out of my office pretty angry but I didn’t care. I was just glad that Hannah, for now, forbids him to leave the pack-land since he knows the secret of my mate.

  “Thank you, aunt, but you really need to teach me how to use my voice the same as you do,” I told her, sighing , putting the chair closer to me so I could go back to my work. “I am not sure it would be possible for my boy. It is something I got from my mother and from her pack. We came to talk with you about Rei and I am glad we came so early so we could deal with that man directly. Lately, he started to be worse than usual.” Hannah commented and now when I thought about that she was right.

  After the death of his wife, he was terrible but still bearable. Now he was a just nuisance and annoying every time he opened his mouth. He was probably up to something. “What did you come to talk about?” I asked them to try to get that person out of my mind for now and focus on something more productive.