by Erin Watt
“Fine, but I’m eating this entire cake.”
“Knock yourself out, champ,” Val says as she drags me out onto the sun porch that runs the length of her house.
The Carrington place is a true southern mansion with big porches, fluted columns, and a lawn that looks like it’s cut by hand. I imagine years ago the ladies of the house sat on rocking chairs in big dresses and with lace gloved hands holding painted fans, saying things like “My land.” I may have watched Gone With the Wind one too many times.
Val collapses on one of the floral couches. “I think Tam might be cheating on me.”
“No!” I suck in a shocked breath and plop down beside her. Tam and Val have been dating for over a year. He’s attending college only a few hours away, and from what Val has allowed to slip out, she and Tam have a lively sex life that involves things like showing off and phone sex. I haven’t even had in-person sex yet, let alone kinky sex. If any relationship could survive the long distance thing, it would be theirs, right? “Why do you think that?”
“He was supposed to visit me last month. Remember?”
I do. She’d been so excited, but then he bailed at the last minute. “You said he couldn’t come because he was slammed with homework.” At her miserable expression, I guess, “That was just an excuse?”
She releases a quavery sigh. “He called last night and said we needed to talk.”
“Oh no.”
“So we talked on the phone and he told me that college was fun and that it made him realize how much of a child he was in high school. He hasn’t cheated on me, he swears, but he thinks that the distance and the temptations are too much for him and that to be honorable,” she spits out the word, “he needed to make sure I was cool with him seeing other people.”
“Hold up.” I raise my hand. “He didn’t call to break up with you, but instead he wants your permission to cheat?”
“Right?” Val gives me an angry look. “That’s super shitty.”
“And you told him to…” I hope you told him to stick his permission down his own throat where he chokes on it, I want to say, but I don’t want to look judgmental either. That’s the last thing she needs now. Later, yes, I’ll remind her how awesome she is and that she doesn’t need a douche like Tam sucking up her energy, but for now I’m going for supportive. “Well, I hope you told him how you felt,” I finish.
“I told him he could screw all the girls he wanted but he wasn’t ever getting another go at me.” She sweeps her hair back in a careless gesture, but her hand is trembling and her eyes are glassy with tears.
“His loss, you know that, right?”
“I keep telling myself that, but I don’t feel any better. Part of me wants to steal Jordan’s car and drive up to State. I’m not sure what I’ll do when I get there. Either kick him in the balls or kiss him.” She shudders and then peers at me out from under her eyelashes. “I kicked Reed in the balls for you, by the way.”
“You did?” A wild laugh escapes as I envision tiny Val kicking giant Reed between his legs. “What brought that on?”
“His mere existence. His smug face. His refusal to tell me where you were.” Val throws herself at me and hugs me again. “I’m so glad you’re back.”
“Ahem.”
I look up to see Easton standing there, smirking at us.
“I thought you guys wanted to talk. If there’s going to be girl-on-girl action, I’m available.”
“You tell that to every female from age two to eighty-two,” Val grumbles.
“Well, yeah.” He gives a faux offended look. “I don’t want anyone to feel left out.”
He pushes away from the door and waltzes in, settling on the other side of Val. “Dude trouble?”
Val drops her head into her hands. “Yeah. My boyfriend decided we need an open relationship.”
“So he wants to eat out and still come home for dinner?”
“Yup.”
“And you’re not down with that.”
“Um, duh. I prefer guys who are faithful. You Royals might not understand that.”
“Ouch, Val. What did I ever do to you?” He rubs his chest in mock pain.
“You have a penis. Therefore you’re automatically on the wrong side.”
He waggles his eyebrows. “But I do great things with my penis. Ask any of the girls at Astor.”
“Like Abby Kincaid?” Val challenges.
I jerk my head toward Easton in shock. “You hooked up with your brother’s ex?”
He slumps into the cushions, his cheeks reddening. “So what if I did? I thought you hated Reed.”
Wow. It’s one thing for the Royal brothers to fight at home, but this kind of public dissension is new and…uncomfortable. And as mad as I am at Reed, I don’t like seeing this rift between the brothers. It makes me awkwardly sympathetic toward Reed, which, dammit, he does not deserve.
I try to change the subject. “Besides assessments, what’s going on at school?”
“Tomorrow’s Halloween, but Beringer doesn’t let anyone wear costumes to school.” Val shrugs. “But there’s a party at the Montgomery house after the game on Friday. Everyone gets kitted out.”
I make a face. “Pass.”
I’m not a big fan of Halloween. My mom worked nights at the clubs, so growing up I never got to go trick-or-treating like a normal kid. And I hate dressing up. I did enough of that when I was working the clubs.
“What else?” I ask.
Val points an accusing finger at Easton. “Well, the Royals can’t stand each other anymore and Reed can’t be bothered to keep the crazies in line. And anyone else with a conscience is too lazy or afraid to say something, so Astor Park has gone to shit. Every day, it escalates. I’m actually afraid someone’s going to get physically hurt.”
So this morning wasn’t an anomaly. I frown at Easton. “What’s going on?”
“You go to school to learn, right?” he says carelessly. “Well, one of those things kids need to learn is how to take care of themselves. The world is full of bullies. They don’t go away when you leave high school. Might as well learn those lessons now.”
“Easton. That’s terrible.”
“What do you care?” he accuses. “You left everyone behind. So what if the rich little boys and girls at Astor are feeling the sting of not having a Royal in charge? Aren’t you happy that the place is turning out exactly like you thought it would?”
Truthfully, I didn’t spare Astor Park Prep a thought when I left, but now that I know people are getting hurt, the whole thing doesn’t sit well with me. “No, that doesn’t make me happy. Why would you say that?”
He turns to look at the perfect lawn while Val shifts uncomfortably between us.
“Just let it go, Ella,” he says finally. “You can’t change anything. The most you can do is keep your head down and survive.”
11
The bakery is quiet when I arrive at two. I wanted to come sooner, but Lucy would’ve been busy. I’d like for her to yell at me, get it out of her system, and then tell me to grab an apron and get behind the counter.
Easton wanted to come in, complaining he hadn’t eaten in the last two hours. After a bit of pleading, he agreed to wait in the car.
“Is Lucy here?” I ask the barista at the register. The tall, gangly boy is new, and I have a sinking feeling he’s my replacement.
“Lucy,” he calls over his shoulder. “Some girl’s here to see you.”
Lucy sticks her head out of the back door. “Who is it?”
He jerks a thumb in my direction.
Her pretty face darkens when she spots me. “Oh, it’s you, Ella. Give me a minute. Why don’t you have a seat over there?”
Yup, getting fired.
The cashier gives me a sympathetic look before turning to the next customer. I grab a seat at a spare table and wait for Lucy.
She doesn’t take long. After a minute or so, she bustles out of the backroom with two mugs of coffee. One she sets in front of me, the ot
her she sips from before setting it down.
“Two weeks ago, Reed Royal showed up here looking for you. The next day your guardian, Callum, called to let me know that you were very sick and would be out for an undetermined time. Fast forward and you’re here, looking healthy, albeit thinner than when you left.” She leans forward. “Do you need help, Ella?”
“No. I’m sorry, Lucy. I should’ve called, but I wasn’t able to come to work.” The lie doesn’t sit easy on my tongue. Lucy’s a super nice lady and I love working here. I tell her so. “I love it here and I know you took a chance when you hired me.”
She presses her lips together before taking another drink from her mug. She taps the sides of the cup before speaking. “I really needed someone, and when you weren’t around and I couldn’t get ahold of you, I had to move on. You understand, don’t you?”
I nod because I do understand. I don’t like it, but I get it. “I’m sorry,” I repeat.
“I’m sorry, too.” Her hand dips into the pocket of her flour-dusted apron. “Here, call me if you need anything.”
Anything but a job, I think. “Thanks,” I say, pocketing the card.
“Don’t be a stranger, Ella,” she says kindly as she gets to her feet. “If I have another opening, maybe we can try again.”
“Thanks.” My vocabulary is reduced to two words: thanks and sorry.
Lucy takes another gulp of her coffee and leaves for her kitchen while I’m left to contemplate how poorly I handled my departure. I’m not used to being the unreliable one, and even though there’s a sick feeling in my stomach for having let her down, there’s also a small part of me that’s happy she cared. That anyone cared.
12
I hear the whispers the moment I step onto campus the next morning. I got a few smirks and stares when I was parking my car in the student lot, but it’s much worse inside. A deafening hush, then an endless murmur of voices and smug laughter that follows me down the hall.
At my locker, I study my reflection in the little mirror on the door, wondering if there’s a piece of hair sticking up or a booger in my nose. But I look fine. Just another cookie-cutter Astor Park student in my white uniform shirt and navy skirt and blazer.
My legs are bare because it’s still nice enough out to not have to wear tights, but almost every girl in the hall also has bare legs, so I don’t think it’s my appearance that everyone is whispering about.
I don’t like this. It’s way too similar to my first day at Astor, when nobody said a word to me because they were waiting to see which way Reed and his brothers would swing. Hate Ella or welcome her. In the end, the student body settled for something in between. Most of the kids never really warmed up to me, but that’s probably because I was purposely antisocial and hung out only with Val.
Today, almost everyone I pass eyes me with contempt. As I make my way to my first class, I can’t stop fidgeting. I feel self-conscious and I hate it.
I’m jostled violently when a dark-haired girl shoves me to the side instead of walking around me. She saunters forward a few feet, then stops to look at me.
“Welcome back, Ella. How was the abortion? Did it hurt?” She smiles innocently.
My jaw opens just slightly before I force it shut. The girl in front of me is Claire something-or-other. She used to hook up with Easton before he got bored of her.
“Screw you,” I mutter before brushing past her.
I reach chem class at the same time as Easton. He takes one look at my face and frowns deeply. “You okay, little sis?”
“Fine,” I answer through gritted teeth.
I don’t think he believes me, but he doesn’t say a word as he follows me into the classroom. We settle at the table we’ve shared since the semester started, and I notice several smirks aimed our way.
“Nice. The Royal sex doll is back, huh, Easton?” a guy drawls from the back of the room. “Bet you and Reed are thrilled.”
Easton twists around in his chair. I can’t see his face, but whatever his expression is, it silences the heckler in a heartbeat.
There’s a cough followed by sounds of notebooks opening and clothes rustling.
“Ignore ’em,” Easton advises.
Easier said than done.
My morning only gets worse. Easton’s in most of my classes and he plants his ass beside me in each one. My cheeks burn as I overhear two girls whispering about how I’m sleeping with two of my stepbrothers.
“She’s definitely doing Gid, too,” one of them says, not even bothering to lower her voice anymore. “It was probably his baby she got vacuumed out.”
Easton does his turn-around-and-glare-bloody-murder thing again, but although it quiets the catty bitches, it doesn’t silence the uneasy voice in my head.
Val warned me there were rumors floating around about me, but is this what people actually think? That I was gone because I was having an abortion? That I slept with Reed, Easton, and Gideon?
I’m no stranger to embarrassment—stripping at the age of fifteen taught me a huge lesson about humiliation—but knowing that everyone at school is saying all this horrible stuff about me has me blinking back tears.
I have Val, I remind myself, and she’s the only person in Astor Park whose opinion matters. And Easton, I guess. He’s barely left my side since I got back to Bayview, so I think I have no choice but to consider him a friend. Even if I do despise his brother.
After class, I head back to my locker to exchange textbooks because they don’t all fit in my bag. Easton disappears down the hall, but not before squeezing my arm when we encounter yet another flurry of nasty whispers.
“So today’s Easton’s day?”
I tense up at the sound of Jordan Carrington’s voice. I was wondering how long it would take for that bitch to roll out the unwelcome mat.
Rather than answer, I grab my World History text off the top shelf and replace it with my chem book.
“That’s the arrangement, right? You alternate between Reed and Easton? Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, you do Reed. Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, you do East.” Jordan cocks her head. “What about Sundays? Is that reserved for one or both of the twins?”
I slam the locker door and turn to smile at her. “Nah, on Sundays I bone your boyfriend. Except for the times he’s busy—then I do your dad.”
Her eyes flash with anger. “Watch your mouth, bitch.”
Keeping my smile in place becomes a strain. “Watch yours, Jordan. Unless you want me to smack you again?” I prompt, reminding her of the beatdown I gave her in the gym last month.
She releases a throaty laugh. “Go ahead and try. Let’s see how far you get when you don’t have Reed to protect you.”
I take a step closer, but she doesn’t even flinch. “I don’t need Reed’s protection. I never did.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, really.” I jam one finger in the center of her chest, right between her perky boobs. “I’m capable of taking you down all by myself, Jordan.”
“It’s a whole new era here at Astor Park, Ella. The Royals don’t call the shots anymore. I do. One word from me, and every single student at this school will be happy to make your life miserable.”
“Gee, I’m terrified.”
Her lips curve. “You should be.”
“Whatever.” I’m sick to death of this chick’s power trips. “Get the hell out of my way.”
She tosses her shiny brown hair over one shoulder. “What if I don’t feel like it?”
“Everything okay here?” a male voice asks.
We both turn to see Sawyer standing there. His redheaded girlfriend, Lauren, is with him. She glances uneasily at Jordan, then me.
“This doesn’t concern you, little Royal.” Jordan doesn’t even look at him, but she does take the time to sneer at Lauren. “Doesn’t concern you either, Donovan, so why don’t you and Sawyer get out of my face. Or is it Sebastian? I can never tell those two apart.” An evil gleam lights her face. “What about you, sweetie? Can y
ou tell them apart? Or do you keep your eyes closed when they’re doing you?”
I’d wondered if Lauren knew about the twin switches Sawyer and Sebastian were pulling on her, and the expression on her face right now answers that question. Instead of shocked, she looks embarrassed and indignant.
But the girl has bigger balls than I thought, because she faces Jordan’s mocking gaze and says, “Fuck off, Jordan.” Then she clasps Sawyer’s hand and drags him away from us.
Jordan laughs again. “That whole family is twisted, huh? But I bet you get off on that, just like that slut Lauren. Right, Ella? A dirty stripper like you probably enjoys getting tag-teamed by two Royals.”
“Are we done here?” I ask tightly.
She winks at me. “Oh, sweetie, no. We’re never going to be done. In fact, we’re just getting started.” She flutters her fingers in a dainty wave, then strolls down the hall without a backward look.
I watch her go, wondering what the hell kind of chaos I’ve come back to.
At lunch, Valerie and I sit at a table in the corner of the room, where I try to pretend that we’re the only two people who exist. It’s hard, though, because I can feel everyone’s eyes on me and it’s making me nervous.
Val takes a bite of her tuna melt. “Reed’s staring at you.”
Of course he is. I shift around and spot him at a table jam-packed with football players. Easton’s there, too, but he’s all the way on the other side of the table instead of in his usual spot next to Reed.
I spare a glance at Reed, who’s watching me with piercing blue eyes. The same eyes that grew heavy-lidded every time we kissed, that blazed hotly every time we were in the same room.
“Are you ever going to tell me what went down between you two?”
I tear my gaze away and force some pasta in my mouth. “Nope,” I say lightly.
“Aw, come on, you know you can tell me anything,” Val urges. “I’m a vault.”
My hesitation doesn’t stem from a lack of trust. Sharing just isn’t natural for me. I’m more comfortable swallowing my emotions. But Val’s expression is so earnest that I feel obligated to offer a few details. “We were together. He screwed up. We’re not together anymore.”