by Nicole Grane
Chapter 12: A Bad Idea
“I’ll be right back.”
“Wait! Where are you going?” I grabbed onto his arm as he turned for the door.
“To scout out the area,” he spoke as if this was obvious.
“But it’s dark out there!”
“I think you’d be hard pressed to find anything more dangerous than me outside,” he half-laughed as he reached for the doorknob.
“But what if Damen’s—”
“I’ll be right back,” he interrupted, not paying any attention to my fears as he ducked out the door.
I decided to busy myself and get ready for bed. I brushed my teeth, put on my pajamas, and crawled into the soft covers.
I kept checking the clock. Marcus had only been gone ten minutes, but it felt like hours had passed by. I skimmed through an old copy of People Magazine when Marcus appeared in my doorway.
“Geez!” I jumped. “Do you have to sneak up on me like that?” I held my hand over my heart, trying to slow it.
He frowned. “You left the front door unlocked?”
“Who’d be stupid enough to break in with a vampire outside my house?” I asked.
“You’re too trusting,” he mumbled under his breath.
I held the covers open and patted his side of the bed. “You aren’t going to wear your clothes to sleep in, are you?”
He looked at me apprehensively.
“Oh come on, don’t you trust me?” I made my question sound as though I were deeply insulted.
“I suppose I could remove my shirt . . .”
“And your shoes, I hope?” I tried to suppress a smile. The look on Marcus's face told me I was pressing my luck.
“And my shoes,” he gave me a dry look.
“Try not to act to put out,” I taunted him playfully.
He climbed into bed and pulled the covers over him. I watched his eyes wander the room as he pulled the blankets up tightly to his chin.
I studied him curiously. “You act like you’ve never slept in a bed before.”
“Not for a few hundred years anyway,” he admitted, still looking around the room. “And then, it wasn’t by choice.”
“Oh my God, don’t tell me you sleep in a coffin.” The very idea was enough to send me into near hysterics. I hated confined spaces. There was no way I could imagine myself snuggling with Marcus in a coffin.
He gave me an exasperated look. “No Phoebe. I don’t sleep in a coffin.
I sighed in relief. “Then . . . how do you sleep?”
“I don’t. Not the way you do anyway.” He fidgeted a little under the sheets.
“Care to elaborate?” I asked as I got out of the bed and walked over to the light switch to turn it off.
Marcus didn’t answer.
I turned around to ask him again when I noticed a vacant expression on his face.
“You’re wearing that . . . to sleep in?” His voice sounded hoarse.
I looked at my pajamas—a red silk nightdress—and then back to Marcus. “Yeah, they’re pajamas. You know; clothes you wear to sleep in.” True, it was a little dressier than my flannels but not entirely uncommon for me on a summers night. I turned out the light and ran to the bed with a jump.
Marcus leapt up as well when I hit the bed. “What is it?” He was looking around the room frantically—his arm out stretched in front of me protectively.
I laughed so hard I cried.
“What?” he sounded annoyed now.
“I always jump into bed,” I said between laughs, “just in case something is under it waiting to grab my feet.” I laughed harder now. “I never expected I’d jump into bed with a vampire!”
Marcus couldn’t help but laugh too. It was pretty funny, considering the nothing under my bed couldn’t kill me.
“What time do you want to leave in the morning?” his laughter subsiding a little.
“Oh,” I chuckled lightly. “We just need to leave by noon. It takes about four hours to get to Portland. Why?” I wiped the tears from my eyes.
“I need to eat.”
“Oh! Um, I . . .” I was pulling the covers up around me as subtlety as I could, all humor, gone.
“I’m not talking about you!” He laughed heartily as he touched my arm—I jumped. “I could have taken you hundreds of times by now if I wanted,” he mused.
I didn’t find it as amusing. The thought of Marcus truly being a vampire was still scary. I knew we’d been kissing . . . a lot. But still, part of me liked pretending he was just . . . Marcus. It made dealing with my own werewolf quirk more bearable.
“I’ll leave town early, before we go,” he continued. “I’ll just be a few hours.”
“You’re leaving me alone?” I shrieked. “You can’t! What if Damen comes back?” I couldn’t believe how needy I sounded.
“Phoebe, you’ll be fine. I’ll scout the area again. If there’s any scent of him, I’ll take care of it.” His tone left little room for doubt.
“Right, I’ll be fine,” I repeated thoughtfully. I tried to come up with the words to make him stay, to make him realize that I wouldn’t be fine. That I wouldn’t be fine ever again without him, but I also didn’t want him to suffer because of me—ever.
I growled mentally. “I don’t want you to go hungry because I’m being a wimp,” I admitted reluctantly. I could hear the shame in my voice.
“Hardly,” he put his arm around me and pulled me to him. I rested my head contentedly on his chest, taking in the sweet smell of his skin. “I don’t blame you for being scared.” He gave me a gentle squeeze. “Damen can be quite ruthless.” He ran his fingers down my bare arm, making me shiver. “You’re just . . . needier than you used to be. Not that I mind,” he interjected quickly, “it’s just going to take some getting used to.”
“Great, ‘needier’ sounds real attractive,” I grumped. “I’d much rather be stronger, tougher. More like the other Phoebe.”
“It’s very attractive.” He kissed the top of my head. “I’d much rather look after you than have you pushing the limits, taking on the whole werewolf population single handed again.”
I craned my neck and looked up into his glorious face. He smiled. His cool breath blew across me. I breathed in, feeling a little disoriented. This effect probably made it easier for him to distract his prey—the dangers of being with a vampire I’d deduced.
Considering how I’d reacted when Marcus mentioned he was hungry a few minutes ago, I couldn’t believe what I was about to suggest; although, it was easier to deal with than the alternative—him leaving me to the wolves!
“You don’t need a lot of blood, do you?” My voice cracked on every word.
Marcus froze. His fingers stopped mid way up my arm. He’d still been caressing it. “You’re not . . . suggesting . . . what I think you’re suggesting?”
I swallowed loudly. I sunk my head back into his chest, shielding my eyes from his. “Maybe? I mean, if you need a . . . a little?” I could feel my hands start to sweat. “So you don’t have to leave,” I quickly explained.
Marcus had pulled his arm out from under me and was now looking me squarely in the face. “You want me to take . . .” he swallowed, “ . . . your blood?”
I cringed at the thought. “Will it hurt?”
Marcus's mouth popped open. “Will it hurt?” he asked incredulously. “You’re not going to find out!” He threw the covers off him and rose from the bed.
“Marcus!” I jumped up, throwing my arms around his neck and pulled him back down. He sat with his back to me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I don’t know what I was thinking,” I stammered. “I just . . . I just don’t want you to suffer because of me. If you have to leave, go. I’ll be fine. I’m sure Damen isn’t going to waste his time on me.” I had to convince myself of this, or I’d go crazy every time Marcus left me alone.
Marcus turned slowly, his face was tight with tension, yet his eyes smoldered with desire. “Nev
er . . . offer yourself to me again,” he warned. “Never!”
I nodded. The warning had been sharp and absolute. Yet . . . he still wore a look of desire on his face, like perhaps my suggestion wasn’t so offensive after all.
“Will you still stay with me?” I whispered, after a few moments. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.
“It’s not a good idea, us being this close, like this.” His mouth said one thing, yet his eyes said another. “I should go.”
“No!” I leapt at him so quickly I landed right on top of him, the both of us colliding to the floor in a loud thump. A defensive hiss came from his throat. My chest was beating loudly against his. I had taken him completely by surprise—he wasn’t the only one.
“Sorry,” I cried out. I’d never moved that fast before. My whole body trembled against his. “Werewolf thing?” I squeaked. I flinched as his hand moved across my back, rubbing the soft silk I wore.
“That’s dangerous.” His body was as tense as mine. His eyes were on my lips. He wanted to kiss me. There was no mistake about it.
“I’m sorry,” I breathed. “I didn’t mean to tackle you like that.”
“Not that.” His tongue moistened his lips. “The way your body moved over mine just now,” he clarified in a sultry tone.
His hands moved up my sides, as I lay frozen on his naked chest. I could feel how muscular, how perfectly defined his body was. The only thing separating my body from his was the thin piece of silk I wore. I bit my lip, trying not to think about him beneath me.
“It’s been so long since I’ve been this close to a human and not . . . drunk.” He had trouble saying the word. My eyes were still focused on his perfect lips.
“I’ve never . . . been this close to a human, like this.” His hands moved up and down my back again. The rhythmic movement wasn’t calming at all. My heart raced faster. The desire I felt was overwhelming.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized again. “I didn’t mean to make you upset,” I said, remembering his reaction to being lunged at.
“The old Phoebe would have growled back,” he teased, rolling me over so that he was now on top of me. His stare was piercing.
“I’m not the old Phoebe,” I panted. “I’m not strong like her,” I said this like it was a bad thing.
“There’s no question; you’re much more sensitive . . .” He made the word sound seductive.
My eyes drifted to his. He wanted me, badly.
I moved my hands up his chest and rested them on his shoulders. His skin was cool next to mine, and I welcomed it. Our lips were nearly touching . . .
“I wouldn’t be a very good vampire, would I?” I breathed across his lips.
His face pulled back a little. His eyes adjusted as they studied mine. “I wasn’t under the impression you were considering that.”
“I’m not!” I exclaimed. “But, I have wondered.” I could feel my cheeks burning bright now; even in the dark. “I mean, I used to be a vampire, right? Maybe—”
“No!” Marcus rolled away from me. “Do you think I’m going to let another vampire close enough to smell that you’re not only human, but part werewolf as well?” He looked at me like I was insane. “They’d kill you without question.”
My mouth popped open at the harshness of his words. “I guess I can accept that, but what about you?” My voice got smaller. “Why can’t you do it? I mean, how else would you feel comfortable being with me . . . physically.”
He reached over and gently pulled me to him. His strong arms wrapped around me as he cradled me against his body. I stared back into his eyes, watching the crimson swirl amongst the chocolate brown I’d grown to love.
“You can see me, clearly, in the dark, can’t you?” He had a look of wonderment.
“Yes . . .”
He shook his head. “Your body is going through so many changes. I’m not sure where it will stop. I can’t take the chance of turning you . . . I don’t know how you’d react to being bit now that you’ve been infected by a werewolf. Our bite can be extremely lethal to them.”
I realized then that Marcus had considered turning me. He had to want to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him. There had to be a way . . .
“If I were immortal, we could stay together, right?”
He nodded hesitantly. His eyes searching mine for where I was going with this.
“What if I were . . .” I had to be insane. I took a deep breath and braced for the explosion. “What if I were bit again . . . by a werewolf?
His face fell. “What?” He pushed away from me completely and rose from the floor, his body suddenly on the other side of the room. His eyes were once again black and intense.
“I said—”
“I heard you! I just can’t believe you’d suggest it!” He spat the words at me.
“You don’t have to get so mad. It was just an idea, I thought—”
“You didn’t think!” he snapped. I could feel the moisture building in my eyes. “I don’t want you anywhere near a werewolf. They’ll be looking for you as it is. Let’s not make it any easier for them.”
“What do you mean they’ll be looking for me?” I jumped to my feet, clutching my hands to my chest.
“They’ll be wanting to turn you . . . completely—If you survive.”
“If I survive?”
“Not everyone survives a bite from a werewolf, Phoebe. Most die either from shock or the venom. I’m surprised, with your intolerance for pain you lived at all. I can only guess it’s because Damen didn’t infect you entirely,” he added as an afterthought.
I couldn’t believe this. “I was just trying to think of a way to stay with you,” I said in a small voice.
Marcus face softened. “They’re drawn to their own kind. I don’t know if anything like this has happened before. I can’t imagine Damen will want you to remain half human. He wants you. Now after all this time, he’s taken the upper hand and turned the tables . . . without even planning it,” he mused darkly. “It has to be why he’s followed you here.”
I stared at him in disbelief. A hundred different questions popped up in my head at once.
“You’re not a vampire anymore. He must think if he turns you completely, he’ll have a chance with the heart he couldn’t have so long ago.”
“But that’s crazy!”
Marcus said nothing.
“So that’s it then?” I said in defeat. “He’ll keep chasing me until he bites me again. I’ll have to live in fear forever? Maybe I should just let him have me and get it over with,” I said hopelessly.
“He won’t get the opportunity,” Marcus growled.
I smiled flatly at him. “He already did,” I pointed out, remembering Damen in my living room, brushing my cheek with a kiss.
Even in my dark bedroom, the look of fury that settled on Marcus’s face was frightening
“And if he succeeds?” I shrugged, “Could you still love me?”
Marcus moved toward me. His hard expression had all but vanished. He pressed his lips to my forehead.
I closed my eyes, feeling his kiss move along the side of my face and down my jaw line to the hollow of my neck where he paused. His lips trembled as my head, so heavy now, fell back a little—exposing my throat to him. A low moan came from within him, causing my heart to beat all the faster. He held me close, supporting the weight of my body effortlessly against his.
“I can hear the blood flowing through your veins,” his voice sounded gruff.
And as if he commanded the rhythm of my heart, it beat faster still. I could feel him watching my chest rise with every breath I took. I couldn’t move. I was in the arms of my one true love. The only love my existence has ever known. A predator who could kill me instantly, yet . . . I wasn’t afraid.
Marcus lowered me onto the bed. His body in sync with mine, he lay on top, careful not to burden me with his entire weight. He stared long into my eyes. “I’d love you no matter what you wer
e,” he finally said. His words like music to my ears.
I smiled.
“Phoebe . . .”
The smile on my face slipped away. Marcus's eyes were a frightening shade of amber.
“I can’t let you go.” He sounded scared now. He’d been pushed too far, and he knew it.
My earlier offer to give Marcus a little of my blood was now a terrifying memory that paled in comparison to the danger that gazed upon me.
“Marcus. You don’t have to stay with me. I’ll be fine.” I trembled in his arms.
He tilted his head, better angling it with my neck. He licked his lips. “I can’t leave you alone . . . and I can’t let you go,” he hissed through his teeth. He looked like he was in physical pain. He wanted my blood—bad.
“Marcus, I’m going to back away slowly . . .” I spoke like there was a bomb that could be detonated at any moment. “I’m just going to scoot through your arms . . .”
I got as far as my waist, putting my heart right about eye level. I froze. I knew he could hear it beating—louder and louder—it was almost deafening. His eyes met mine. I could see him battling within himself, but the predator was winning over.
I jerked quickly through his arms but found myself flat on my back again, the weight of his body holding me down. He held my wrists to either side of my head. His eyes were wild, animal-like. His teeth gleamed white.
“Marcus. You don’t want me like this.” I breathed heavily. There was no denying it. At this moment, he was a vampire—and I was afraid.
“I do want you . . . I need you . . .”
I yelped, as his lips touched the hollow of my throat abruptly.
I had to distract him, to shake him. It was the only way he’d be strong enough to let me go. The only way he’d fight the urge he was so afraid of—the urge to bite me.
I seized my moment. My mouth claimed his as he lifted his head up to look at me.
He responded as I hoped he would. He released my wrists and kissed me eagerly, wantonly.
I grabbed his pants waist and jerked his body to mine. His breath caught. He pulled his head back and stared wide-eyed at me. The look of blood-lust was fading, and a new fear was taking over him.
“We’re ready.” I twined my fingers through the back of his hair and pulled him into a kiss that would stop any man’s heart. He didn’t protest. I kissed him feverishly, tasting the delicious flavor of his mouth.
“No!” He pushed away from me, my body instantly mourning the loss of his touch. “I can’t do this.”
I felt an incredible pull to Marcus, each taste made me want another. His very smell was drawing me closer . . . I’d forgotten what I’d been trying to do. I couldn’t think clearly. All I knew now was that I wanted him, desperately. And I was willing to overlook all danger to have him.
I reached for his face, taking it gently in my hands. I tried to pull him back to me. I needed to taste his lips again.
“No Phoebe,” his voice was low. “I won’t risk it. Especially when I’m hungry,” he growled in frustration. I could hear how tortured his voice sounded. “I was afraid for this to happen. Afraid I’d want you this way.” His eyes dropped to my neck. “Afraid I’d need you this way.”
I didn’t know what had come over me. I found myself tilting my neck, offering him what I knew he wanted.
He hissed, snapping me out of whatever trance I’d been in.
I sat up, staring at him wide-eyed.
His face was hard. A muscle ticked under his right eye. “You offered yourself to me again.”
I opened my mouth to speak, and nothing—I didn’t know what to say. I hadn’t meant to do that. It was as if my body had moved on its own accord.
“Your humanity cannot resist me,” Marcus said as if reading my thoughts. “It’s how we lure our victims.” His voice cracked. He wasn’t apologizing, but the look on his face was one of disgust. He didn’t like the thought of that . . . at least with me being the potential victim.
My eyes widened in understanding. That was why I was willing to do anything to have him. Even offer my blood. I reached up and touched my neck. His eyes followed. He still wanted it. He still wanted me. But he was in control now. I took a deep breath and sighed.
“You seem relieved,” he noted.
“It took a lot of effort to help you resist me. I don’t think I have the strength to do it again.
“You?” Marcus laughed, taking me completely by surprise. “You’re dangerously clever . . . that may not have worked in your favor though.”
A thought I was now aware of. “It was a risk I was willing to take,” I admitted shyly. Had I not tried to seduce him, coax him into believing that I wanted to make love—now—he wouldn’t have had the strength to pull away. Marcus’s fear of us being together intimately outweighed his fear of biting me . . . at least that was what I’d been counting on. He was right though, it might not have worked in my favor.
Marcus shot me a disapproving look that faded into a slight smile. “You need your sleep.” As if, that could happen.
“Do you still need to go?” I asked.
“I’ll stay as long as I can,” he promised. “But, I’ll be back before you need to leave.”
I climbed into the covers beside him, settling my head in the crook of his neck. “Marcus?” I yawned.
“Yes my dear?” his voice was low, like a whisper.
I smiled to myself as I repeated “my dear” over in my head. I liked the way it sounded, especially when he said it. “Do you remember making love—when I was the other Phoebe?”
He stiffened. “Yes. A memory I hold dear,” he added softly.
I thought about that for a moment, my heart racing at the very idea. “Marcus?” I hesitated for a moment, hating to ask the next question.
“Yes, my love?”
“Is it safe for me to fall asleep?”
“Nothing will harm you.” He answered without hesitation. “I give you my word.”
With one arm under my neck and the other around my waist, I felt quite safe and comfortable with him. I smiled as I drifted off to sleep almost instantly.