by Eva Brandt
From the distance, the spire looked like it was crafted from pure photons, but when we got closer, it became obvious that this was not the case. It was a metallic building, just like the mating den. But that was where the similarities between the two structures ended. The moment Jared ushered me inside, past the gates, my heart started racing and my head began to spin. I mentally flailed, instinctively reaching for my frayed bond with Sphinx.
Inside the spire, we found a large bridge that led up to a dais with an empty throne. Behind it, there was an actual helix, so tall I couldn’t see where it actually ended. The graceful curves of light bent around the edges of the metal bridge, anchoring us here. Beyond the helix, there was nothing, just the forces of space, the unaltered power of the universe, reaching for us, its voices clawing and battering at my consciousness. As a chimera pilot, I’d faced the void of space before, once even without having the benefit of Sphinx’s protection, but it had never been like this.
“It’s an intriguing feeling, isn’t it?” a female voice asked from behind me. “I don’t know about you, Selene Renard, but whenever I look around me, I can’t help but wonder what actually created it all, how this universe came about.”
I pivoted on my heel, instinctively facing the source of the words. I had a whole speech prepared in my head, something that would fit my situation while still being respectful of The Great Mother’s position.
My vocal cords refused to obey me at the image that greeted my eyes. By my side, Jared went rigid. He bowed lowly, and not wanting to be rude, I did the same. “Greetings, Great Mother.”
“Hello, Jar’yd,” the woman replied, gliding up to us like a floating sun spirit. “I see you’ve brought your mate to see me. I am pleased.”
The woman looked young, far younger than I’d expected her to be. She was wearing the same loose garment Jared had once provided for me and she seemed my mother’s age, maybe a little older. The mild lines around her eyes and the gray in her hair spoke of a life well lived, and when she looked at me, she smiled warmly.
“Welcome to Eos. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I am the Great Mother.”
Her approachable demeanor took me aback and I didn’t know what to say. I decided to play it safe and be as formal as I usually was with my military superiors. I’d had a plan before I’d come here. I might as well follow it. “I’m honored. Thank you for agreeing to see me on such short notice.”
“It’s not short notice. I told Jar’yd I was interested in speaking with you as soon as the two of you mated.”
“Yes, he did say that,” I admitted, “but even so, I appreciate you making time for me and my concerns.”
“I always make time for my children,” she replied, shrugging. “Besides, he approached me about your desire to speak with your family months ago.”
I blinked at her in confusion. “I’m sorry? Months ago?” I’d only been here a month myself.
She walked up to me, and the curl of her lips suddenly gained a sharp, cruel edge. “Time has no meaning here. You know that, Selene. Inside the Helix, a second can be a century. Truly, if I wished it, you could walk past those gates and find that nine months had passed and you were ready to deliver that child you conceived today.”
Her figure started to glow and her inconspicuous facade turned into a terrifying vision, a creature that was so clearly inhuman I desperately wanted to run. Her alien nature went beyond the intensity of her aura. Her physical body didn’t look humanoid anymore. If anything, she reminded me a little bit of a chimera, her form lengthening into an almost serpentine shape, her mouth curving around her body like her whole being had been built around the idea of consuming.
She grew taller and taller, until her head and chest vanished high up above us, mimicking the glowing helix. I half-expected her to squash me under her bulk, but no such thing happened. Her massive form melted into thick gaseous clouds and dissipated into the nothingness.
All of a sudden, the crushing force of the universe seemed even more powerful than before. When I looked around me, I felt as if I was staring into a million different souls, into an abyss I never wanted to touch. The weight of my own insignificance struck me harder than ever before. Not even that first time when I’d seen the sun from up close had I been so aware of my frail and ephemeral nature.
I blinked and just like that, the Great Mother appeared in front of me, once again looking like a human.
“You’re very confused by the turn your life has taken, Selene,” she said. “But there’s something you need to understand. Nothing about the universe is immovable. Even your own sense of self is something you can modify and shift. We’re all built to adapt, to embrace change, to grow.”
Through some kind of miracle, I managed to find my voice again. “Is that why I’m here, Great Mother? To grow?”
Much to my surprise, it was Jared who answered, not the Great Mother. “If that is your wish. Truly, Selene, no one can force you into something like that, not if you don’t want it.”
“But that’s just it,” I protested. “I never wanted it. I’ve told you a million times before that I belong on Terra, with my people.”
“Do you?” the Great Mother inquired. “You’re not just a follower of Gaia or a soldier of Tartarus. You must be asking yourself then what you really are.”
She was right. I had been looking for answers regarding my mysterious powers. I wasn’t arrogant enough to think that I was special just because of being myself. There had to be another reason for the dual gift I had received, some kind of explanation. But over the past month, those concerns had been set aside for more practical considerations. It wasn’t worth worrying about my powers right now, when I could hardly use them at all.
“Are you trying to tell me I’m a Heliad?”
The Great Mother chuckled. “No, of course not. But you could be, if you wanted to. All you need to do is believe.”
Belief wasn’t my problem. I simply had no wish to tie myself to a world that wasn’t my own. Jared insisted that humans had been the one to start the war between the two species, and I acknowledged that as possible. But no matter how much it had hurt to see my lovers commit murder on Terra, I couldn’t just blindly put my faith in a bunch of strangers.
I had to go back.
“You love them still,” Jared mused with a self-deprecating smile. “I suppose that’s not unexpected, even if they don’t deserve your affection.”
My immediate instinct was to defend my lovers, but the Great Mother didn’t give me the chance. “I think this ability and insistence to love is one of your biggest qualities, Selene, but also your biggest flaw. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Not really,” I replied. “I mean, that sounds like you’re contradicting yourself.”
“I’m not, and you know that. You wish you could control your own emotions all the time, don’t you, Selene? But you also know that you can’t give up these feelings you have, because they are precious.”
I clenched my jaw, fighting the instinctive urge to lash out. It felt invasive to have my heart exposed like this, with such ease and nonchalance. But the Great Mother clearly didn’t care about that and there was nothing I could do about it. “I can’t argue with you there. But if everything you said is true, you can’t keep me here either. Jared, you might dislike Brendan, Pollux, Knox, and August, but in the end, you can hardly say you’ve treated me any better. And Great Mother, if you respect me in any way and truly want to help me, you have to let me choose.”
Jared twitched, obviously not a big fan of the idea of my departure. Meanwhile, the Great Mother hummed thoughtfully. “We’ll see.”
She walked away from us and sat down on the throne. Silence fell over the chamber, and despite how irritated I felt over the presumptuousness of the Heliads, I didn’t have the courage to break it.
As it turned out, I didn’t need to say anything at all. A few seconds after the Great Mother relaxed in her ornate seat, a knock sounded at the door. She twitched a finger and the gates of
the Helix opened.
Another woman walked into the massive chamber. The moment I saw her, my whole body froze. It took me two seconds to recognize her, but far longer to process and accept that knowledge.
It was Pollux’s sister, Stella, dressed as a Heliad. She didn’t look exactly like she had in his vision, but the change was minor. Judging by the anger that flashed through her eyes when she saw me, she recognized me too.
She didn’t let that distract her. Instead, she walked right past me and Jared, bowing in front of her leader. “Great Mother, I apologize for the interruption,” she said, “but we’ve received word of the arrival of an external Terran force.”
“Yes, I know,” the Great Mother replied. “I admit the members of the Grand Chimera Unit were far more resourceful than I expected. But then again, they had a lot of incentive.”
Her words snapped me out of my shock. A surge of enthusiasm and fear swept over me. “The others… They came for me?”
“Of course they came,” Stella snapped. “You somehow convinced them that you’re a good match for them, when it was obviously a lie. And now, they’re all going to die, because of you.”
It looked like I’d been right to be afraid. Expeditions in apsid territory were notoriously dangerous and I doubted the others would’ve managed to get a lot of reinforcements. If they’d come here by themselves, they might as well have signed their own death warrants.
“Why didn’t you stay on Terra and disappear in the shadows?” Stella continued to vent. “Why did you have to join the Grand Chimera Unit? No one wants you there, not really.”
Jared grabbed her elbow and squeezed it tightly. “Teela, don’t do this. Now’s not the time to argue.”
“On the contrary, now is the perfect time. You’re perfectly happy to accept this state of affairs because you have what you wanted. But the rest of us aren’t so lucky, and my brother’s soul is at stake here. August and Pollux might be obliterated altogether. But you don’t care, and neither does she. Now that she’s here, she doesn’t need them anymore.”
“That’s not true,” I replied. “Don’t talk about things you don’t understand. I’m not the one who chose to lie and betray them. And it’s a little too late to worry about their souls, when you allowed August and Pollux to believe you were dead all this time.”
Pollux had been grieving her for years, but all along, she’d been here, with the Heliads. “How dare you claim you have any say in their lives, when you just abandoned them, when you didn’t even try to comfort them? Don’t tell me the Great Mother couldn’t have helped you reach Pollux, because I know that’s a lie.”
Stella glared at me, but didn’t try to argue against that point. “I had my reasons for acting the way I did.”
“I’m sure that’s true, but I don’t really care. Because you know what? Those reasons mean you’re not in any position to judge me.”
“No one can ever judge another person and be completely fair,” the Great Mother intervened. She got up from her throne and made her way toward us. “Even the gods have forsaken this right, granting us the ability to make up our own minds and choose our paths. But in any case, Selene, today isn’t about Teela. It’s about you and your lovers. They came here after you and I assume they won’t leave without you. Why don’t we see if their hearts are as strong as yours?”
I didn’t like the sound of that at all and my fears only intensified when the Great Mother added, “Jar’yd, Teela, go greet our guests. Bring them here.”
“Wait!” I blurted out. “Please don’t hurt them. They don’t mean any harm. If I could just talk to them, they’ll surely leave.”
The Great Mother arched a dark brow at me, not seeming offended by my interruption. “That’s not true, but it doesn’t matter. They’ll be cooperative once they realize they don’t have any other option. Rest at ease. We don’t want to hurt them, not yet. I think you understand what I mean, don’t you?”
The latter question was addressed to Jared and Stella, and the duo didn’t delay in responding. “Yes, Great Mother,” Jared replied, stealing a look at me through the corner of his eye. “We understand and will obey.”
“Thank you, Great Mother,” Stella offered. “We will not fail you.”
“You never do, my children. Now go. We wouldn’t want our young changeling to collapse the quasar in his anger, would we?”
She sounded amused, so I assumed there was no real danger of that happening. Even so, Stella and Jared took the warning seriously. After saluting the Great Mother, they excused themselves and left the Helix.
Once the gates had closed behind them, the Great Mother wrapped an arm around my shoulder. Considering what I’d seen earlier, I’d expected her touch to bother me. It didn’t. It felt normal, like making contact with another human being.
“Now that it’s just the two of us, I want to talk to you, woman to woman,” she said. “Tell me something, Selene Renard. Do you really think you can carry the weight of Brendan Chimera’s destiny, as well as your own? Are you prepared to save them from themselves? Do you understand what sacrifices you’ll have to make, if you choose to go back?”
The questions sounded matter-of-fact, but I still felt each individual sentence like a physical blow, no, like tachyon blasts threatening to tear me apart from the inside. “I’m not sure,” I admitted, “but I want to. Please… Help me.”
I didn’t know what determined me to make that request, but it must have been the right thing to say. The Great Mother smiled, and this time, it held the same gentleness she’d displayed when she’d first appeared in front of me. “I will do what I can, young Selene. But know this. In the end, you’ll still have to help yourself.”
“I’m prepared for that.”
After all, I’d gone to Chimera Academy fully aware that I wouldn’t have any allies there. I’d made a decision to fight my whole society, as long as it meant proving to them that women weren’t inferior. This fight would be different, far more personal, but that didn’t mean I could back out.
“So be it,” the Great Mother said. “Helios will accept your pledge and so will I.”
Our eyes met once again and in her endless gaze, I saw death. But I also saw hope, and for the first time in what seemed like ages, I felt like maybe, I could still find a future for me and my family. For all of us.
* * *
Pollux
Now
My sister was alive. My sister was alive and she was a captive of the apsids. No… She was an apsid. How could this be? Another experiment of The Grand Judiciary? It was the only explanation, but still, it didn’t make any sense.
“Stella?” I asked numbly. “Stella, is that you?”
“Yes,” she replied, and her voice held the same thick regret she’d displayed when I’d abandoned her in that strange surreal space where we’d met before. “Or at least, that was who I was.”
“And who are you now?” August asked. “Is this some kind of game or a joke? Because I warn you, we’re not joking.”
“No matter who you are, we will go through you to get to Selene,” Knox growled.
I believed him, and as much as it pained me, I didn’t disagree with him. The mere idea of having to harm my sister threatened to send me into a panic attack, but I forced myself to shut down any emotions that would represent an obstacle for me. “Don’t try to stop us, Stella. I will fight you if I have to.”
Stella didn’t answer, but the male pilot of her crystallized unit did. “That won’t be necessary. The Great Mother has given you permission to enter Eos, as long as you’re peaceful and you cooperate.”
It was a little too good to be true, but it was a better option than trying to engage the army of apsids in combat and attacking my sister on top of that. As such, I wasn’t surprised when Brendan agreed. “Very well. We’ll go. But be advised that should you try to deceive us, we will take the appropriate steps.”
Once we reached a truce, the other crystallized units fell easily in line with Stella’s. Th
e male pilot seemed to have some degree of authority over the others, because nobody questioned him. They weren’t mad at us for the damage we’d already done to their fellows. Since the others had accepted this strange turn of events, I decided to go along with it too.
If nothing else, I doubted Stella would lead me to my doom. I hadn’t truly seen her in years, but when we’d spoken, she’d shown me the same affection she’d always displayed toward me before. I had to trust her a little too, even if I didn’t trust anyone else here.
“It’s going to be fine, Pollux,” Scylla said. “Let’s face it. Chances are that, if they’d wanted to kill you, the apsids would have sent far more units after us. Charybdis might have thrown them off balance, but her skill wouldn’t have been enough to really get us through.”
“Yes, I know. It was a fool’s hope from the beginning, I suppose. But we just have to keep hoping and trying.”
Flanked by the crystallized units, we headed deeper into the black hole, heading toward the singularity. A small part of me felt excited at the prospect of finally visiting the apsid world, because on some level, I’d always been curious about their planet. Now that we knew August had an apsid ancestry, it seemed even more important.
I had no idea what I expected to find, but it certainly wasn’t something that looked very much like a city. It just popped up in front of us when we emerged from the currents of energy around the event horizon, taking us completely by surprise. The Scylla’s sensors went crazy, to the point where I wondered if the settlement had even been there before.
“I think we have bigger problems,” Scylla said. “I suddenly don’t feel that optimistic about this anymore.”
It wasn’t difficult to tell what was making her anxious. She was fine with the floating buildings, the strange vehicles, the glowing plants, and cut off walkways. But the spire we could see in the distance screamed power on a level neither of us could deny.
“I have a feeling that’s where we’re supposed to go,” Brendan said through the coms, “and whatever is waiting for us, it’s bad news.”