by Tessa Bailey
Desire was a funny thing. When I was young, like most guys, lust ran hard and fast. It was purely hormones driving the boat, so to speak.
When Melissa and I started getting serious, I had settled into it easily. We were seniors in college then. We got an apartment together and both started working.
Sex wasn’t as wild as it had once been between us, but we got it on pretty regularly. By the time she got pregnant, we’d been living together for three years. Melissa was my only serious relationship. We got married, and I felt truly committed. I never doubted it.
That first year after Rylie was born was a blur. Between work and raising a baby, we didn’t talk much, but then I didn’t have much time to talk. I never minded taking care of Rylie even when I was tired to the bone. I wouldn’t pretend it was always easy because that would be bullshit. But it didn’t chafe on me, not at all.
I gave my head a shake as I finished assembling the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It was late, and Rylie was in bed. I put each sandwich in an individual bag and stacked them inside a plastic container. The container sat beside her to-go bag, a rather large bag with a giant pig on the front. After she encountered Gloria and Squeaky at the rescue, Rylie fell in love with pigs. My mom had even sewed her a stuffed pig because she was crafty like that.
My throat tightened with emotion for a beat. Rylie might have lost her mother, but she was loved hard.
With thoughts of Valentina spinning through my mind once again, I walked into the living room. Nights were quiet here. After Rylie went to bed, I usually flicked through the channels and watched whatever show caught my interest. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I wondered—because my nosy sister had to bring it up—if my nights would always be this quiet.
That night, I lay in bed, realizing I hadn’t actually fallen asleep with a woman since Melissa died.
Chapter Twelve
Valentina
I clicked through the spreadsheet, smiling when the numbers added up to what I expected. When I went to college, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, yet I had always loved math. Something about the certainty of it soothed me.
Between being homeschooled and having parents who were religious in an earthy sort of way, kind of flaky, and ready to save the world at the same time, well, it had all added up to me not fitting into any category too easily while I was growing up. I’d spent most of my life feeling out of place, so perhaps that was why I found certainty so comforting.
Back to the numbers. Math was one area where I felt comfortable, and it came easily to me. I blew through my undergrad requirements. When my advisor suggested accounting as a major, I didn’t even hesitate and was accepted into an accelerated master’s program.
Even after I walked away with a degree that made me easily employable, I promptly agreed to handle the accounting for my parents’ church and retreat programs. The hardest part about taking the job at Stolen Hearts Lodge was telling my parents and quitting my job working for them.
I was three months into my new job, and I still loved it. There was a knock on my door, and when I glanced up, Shay stepped in. “We’re about to head out. You’re all set with dealing with the animals, right?” she asked with a smile.
“All set,” I replied as I tapped save and closed my laptop.
“Thanks again for helping with that,” she said as she slipped into the chair across from my desk. She reached up to tighten her ponytail, cocking her head to the side as she dropped her hands. “Well, have some fun this weekend. Maybe you could actually go out to Lost Deer Bar with everybody else. Dawson said that’s where everyone’s planning to go.”
“I might,” I replied.
“Either way, have a good weekend,” she said. She stood just as Jackson appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame with one hand in his pocket.
“Ready to go?” he asked, his gaze lingering on Shay.
I wondered if I would ever have a man look at me the way he looked at her. I felt as if I’d abruptly interrupted an intimate moment by witnessing the depth of emotion contained in his gaze. Knowing what she’d been through, I was so glad to see them together.
“Ready,” Shay said, turning to face him with a smile.
Only then did Jackson glance my way. “Thanks for taking care of the animals. If you need anything, just call us, okay?”
“Of course. I can’t imagine I’ll need anything.”
“By the way, I asked Lucas to help you with the horses. We just took in a new rescue today that’s a bit of a handful. Lucas said he’d be over at the barn this afternoon by five. Wait for him, okay?”
“Sure.”
Shay shook her head. “You just had to agree to take that stallion. I told you he would be wild,” she said, her lips tightening and her gaze bouncing back and forth between us.
“That’s why Lucas is going to help,” Jackson replied smoothly.
Just thinking about Lucas set my body to humming and my belly spinning in a quick flip. I could hardly stop recalling the feel of his lips against mine the other day and his promise about this weekend. I didn’t know quite what it meant, but I knew I couldn’t wait.
* * *
Early that evening, I crossed the pasture to the rescue barn. Gloria came ambling along behind me. I heard her before I saw her because she made a soft snuffling sound whenever she approached people. Glancing behind me, I couldn’t help but smile. Gloria was a giant mostly white pig with a few dark spots. She was sweet as could be, and it felt as if she knew exactly what I was saying when I talked to her. It was something about the way she studied me with her careful expression.
“Hey Gloria,” I called, pausing to wait for her to catch up to me. She stopped at my side, nudging my knee with her nose as we began walking together.
She followed me into the barn, and I paused to look around. The dogs were on one side with the rest of the animals on the other. Each dog had its own door to exit into a large play yard. Most of the dogs were rescues with the exception of one who had become a permanent resident—a sweet English Setter named Pepper. She played with the other dogs during the day and stayed at the farmhouse with Jackson and Shay at night. For this weekend, she was staying out here in the kennel because they thought she would be most comfortable here while they were gone.
On the other side was a large stall for two goats and the stall Gloria and Squeaky shared. They generally came and went as they pleased. There were also chickens in a large coop outside with their own space.
After taking care of all the other animals, I fed Gloria and was wondering where Squeaky was when she announced her presence with a few squeaks. As soon as I made sure she was fed, I glanced at my watch and realized Lucas was probably already waiting at the horse barn for me.
Closing up, I ran across the pasture, pushing through the door and feeling breathless as I came through. Lucas was there, leaning against one of the stalls about halfway down the aisle. He was stroking the new stallion’s neck. When I heard the low murmur of Lucas’s voice, the sound sent a hot shiver through me.
Ignoring it, I approached. “Sorry I’m late.”
Lucas said something softly to the horse, his hand still resting on the horse’s neck. The horse was tall with a rich brown coat and a black tail and mane. Lucas and the horse turned at once. Both of them had such intense eyes, my heart started racing. The horse eyed me curiously for a moment but quickly lost interest, turning to nibble on some hay in a netted bag hanging inside the stall.
Lucas’s attention, on the other hand, didn’t waver. His green eyes met mine and swept up and down my body. My skin tingled all over, heat flashed through me, and butterflies took flight in my belly.
“I didn’t know you were supposed to meet me at a certain time, so there’s nothing to apologize for,” he said. “The horses are all taken care of.”
For a moment, I was unable to form a word. My mouth seemed to run at two speeds with Lucas—nothing or verbal diarrhea.
“Oh,” I finally said. “Jackson told me h
e asked you to come help me. He was worried about the new stallion.” I gestured to the horse behind Lucas.
“Right. He’s all taken care of.”
The barn was quiet. As I stood there, a humming electricity began to spin through me.
“Okay. Well, thank you,” I replied, my words coming out a little choppy.
Lucas pushed away from the stall, taking a few strides before stopping in front of me. He wore jeans, the denim so soft the fabric molded to his muscular thighs. My eyes lingered on the flex of his forearm when he slid his hand in one pocket.
My mouth wet dry, and my pulse rocketed to the point I could hardly catch my breath.
I felt more than saw his eyes sweep down my body again. My outfit was rather nondescript—a pair of leggings with a baggy T-shirt. I probably smelled like animals at this point. Nothing more than the heat of Lucas’s gaze made my skin prickle and my belly flip.
“Are you done for the day?” he asked.
The soft sound of horses chewing their hay surrounded us as we stood there. The barn was cool, a contrast to the heat of the humid August evening.
Swallowing, I nodded. “Uh-huh.”
Lucas stepped a little closer, reaching out and catching one of my hands in his. He smelled like hay and sweat and Lucas, a scent I had come to identify with him—musky and warm with a slight woodsy hint.
His thumb brushed across the back of my hand, and all my attention narrowed to the feel of his calloused pad moving back and forth. The touch was subtle, and he probably wasn’t even thinking about it, but it was electrifying.
“I want to kiss you now,” he said, his words sending a hot thrill up my spine.
I licked my lips and swallowed again, barely able to get a breath in. “Please do,” I finally murmured.
I wasn’t consciously trying to whisper, yet this moment felt so heavy, so intense. It felt as if at any minute, sound would snap it to pieces.
His lips kicked up at one corner. Every smile he gave me, even a half of one like this, made it feel as if the sun was breaking through on a cloudy, gray day.
Lucas didn’t smile much. And now that I knew more of his history, I understood why.
“I might want to, but I won’t. We’ll have to save it for later,” he replied.
“Why?” My question flew out on its own in a rather demanding tone.
That half smile stretched to the other corner of his mouth. “Because the guys invited me to go to the Lost Deer Bar. Seeing as I’m here for the weekend, and it’s what I would usually do, it’s best if I go.”
“Oh, well, I’ll probably go too then because Shay mentioned it earlier.”
Still smiling, Lucas glanced away as if gathering his thoughts and shook his head with a low chuckle. His eyes made their way back to me. “Well then, I suppose you should go. It’ll be a special form of torture for me.”
“Torture?” I queried.
Lucas arched a brow. “Valentina, I don’t think you know how much I want you,” he said flatly.
His words sent another thrill through me. “Oh,” I managed. My body felt buzzy, tingling all over.
My hand was still in his. He turned then, giving me a gentle tug. “Come on. I’ll drive.”
Chapter Thirteen
Lucas
Lost Deer Bar had been around for decades. Once upon a time, it was probably small, but this little bar in an old log cabin tucked in the hills of the Blue Ridge Mountains had expanded quite a bit since its origination sometime in the 1950s.
According to the story, the bar was named as such because the couple who founded it had gone out for a drive because their daughter thought a deer was lost. As if there were such a thing. I supposed deer did get lost—maybe—but the likelihood that a little girl would somehow know that was slim.
That said, if Rylie wanted me to go out for a drive to search for a lost deer, I would do it. Honestly, I wouldn’t even hesitate. Whether or not we found it, I would come up with a story that made her feel better if she was worried about it.
Back on that drive, the couple passed by the old home and noticed the For Sale sign. That started the ball rolling for what would eventually become the Lost Deer Bar. The one-room log cabin still had the original bar on the side, but all they had back there were memorabilia and old photographs. It was now the entryway to the massive rectangular room with a bar running along the back wall and tables scattered throughout. One corner had pool tables and mostly card games. It was busy most nights. Being only a few hours shy of Nashville across the border in Tennessee, they also had music often with fledgling new bands passing through here on their way to fortune and fame.
The décor was simple. There was wide plank hardwood flooring worn from years and years of feet passing over it, and circular wooden tables with booths to match. They were open from five a.m. until two a.m. Aside from the bar, they served all three meals and had delicious, simple fare.
I was keeping to one beer for the evening since I was driving. As I had told Valentina back in the barn when it had taken just about all of my discipline not to kiss her, tonight was a special form of torture for me.
I only offered her a ride because that was generally how things were among the staff and friends at Stolen Hearts Lodge. Knowing most everyone else had already left, either Valentina and I showed up together, or Dani would give me a hard time for not offering her a ride.
Not that I minded giving her a ride. That said, I was starting to question my restraint and endurance. She sat beside me, her wild red curls barely tamed in a ponytail where they were half falling out. I wanted to reach over and pull that elastic out so I could watch her hair fall loose before I buried my hands in it.
I knew I was half insane. I did not need to be taking things further with Valentina, but damn if I could stop myself. Not to mention, every time I considered it, I reminded myself that Valentina was looking for something, and she would find it. I’d be damned if I let some asshole take advantage of her.
Aren’t you taking advantage of her?
My skeptical mind threw that question out. My answer was swift. Hell no.
And exactly how do you know you’re the man for that? My skeptical mind was quick to counter.
My experience with virginity was limited to a girlfriend back in high school. For what it’s worth, I was a bit of a fumbling idiot, though we still had fun.
As for now, I told myself plenty of experience would stand me a good stead. I’d left my sanity in the rearview mirror. It wasn’t even a speck anymore.
I sat at the table beside Valentina, the sexiest woman I had ever laid eyes on, enduring her coaxing allure. She tempted me just by being there.
“Jesus, Wade, sometimes you have such a stick up your ass,” Dani sniped at Wade who sat at an angle across from me.
Wade rolled his eyes and drummed his fingers on the table. “I do not have a stick up my ass, Dani Love,” Wade drawled. “You’re giving me shit for worrying about my little sister?”
Dani nodded vigorously, her brown curls bouncing. “Yes, I am. She’s a grown woman. Her boyfriend might be kind of dumb, but then …” Her words trailed off with a sharp laugh. “All right, you might have a point.”
My mouth almost fell open. Dani and Wade tended to snap at each other over just about anything. They’d known each other forever, and as far as I knew, once upon a time, they almost dated. It was short-lived and ended with a big argument where Dani stormed off and threw her slushy at him in the high school cafeteria.
I heard Valentina say something under her breath, and I leaned over. “What was that?”
She grinned, a teasing glint in her eyes. “I said they need to get over it and do something about it.”
I chuckled. “Right? We all know that, but they’ve been at this for years.”
Valentina shrugged and leaned forward to pick up her margarita. My eyes honed in on the sight of her tongue tracing over the salt along the rim of the glass. I was suddenly envious of that damn glass.
Fuck
me. I tore my eyes away only to collide with Wade’s gaze. Dani had already moved on and was saying something to someone else. Meanwhile, Wade appeared to have a front row seat to me lusting after Valentina.
He winked and grinned. Knowing Wade as well as I did, I imagined he would give me shit about it at some point. Wade was a good friend, the best kind of friend really.
He had the unfortunate, decidedly awkward role of filling me in on what he eventually learned about Melissa and Seth. Although I had stumbled across the evidence in Melissa’s texts on my own, plenty of gossip was skittering through Stolen Hearts Valley like leaves in the wind. When Wade heard about it, bless his damn heart, he scouted up the gossip and shut it down. He also punched Seth.
I hadn’t asked him to take it to that level and certainly could’ve done it myself. I just hadn’t quite felt like it. Still didn’t. For me, Melissa was responsible for the betrayal, and she was dead.
I returned Wade’s grin with a shrug, letting myself get tugged into a conversation about the schedule for the construction of more guest cabins at the lodge.
I forced myself not to simply stare at Valentina, and for the most part, I think I managed it. I wasn’t the most chatty guy, never had been, and I thought I had my response to her under control until she decided to play a game of pool. There wasn’t anything particularly unusual about that. I flicked through my memory bank and tried to recall if Valentina had ever joined in a game of pool when I was here with friends, but I couldn’t recall any.
But then, beyond noticing she was fucking hot as hell, I’d made a concerted effort not to pay too much attention to her before. Now, she’d grabbed my attention so hard it just wouldn’t let go.
All because of that package.
I found myself leaning against the wall by the pool table.
“Sweet shot,” Dawson said with a low whistle.
I hadn’t noticed where the ball went. Not with Valentina bent over and her sweet bottom on display. For me. Or so my body thought. Between our encounter in the barn and driving over here, she had showered and changed. She wore a skirt, nothing particularly revealing, but with a smoking body like hers, everything was a tease.