Our father was kneeling on the ground trying to pull a huge hooded sweatshirt out of a box. Thayla looked at me. I looked at her. Maybe this was the way that our family was going to get put back together. At least Dad was out of the chair. Right? And he wasn’t making snide comments to me either.
“Dad, do you need some help there?” Thayla knelt beside him and began to help him work the thick fleece out of the package. “This looks like a really snuggly warm and thick sweatshirt.”
“It is.” Dad was panting. His thinning, stringy grayish hair was in total disarray. “This here is performance fleece. It’s the kind of stuff that keeps you warm in all this wind.”
“That would be good,” I told my father. He had a very odd expression on his face. “Dad, what’s really going on?” I pressed a bit. I really wanted to know. “You’ve been making sly comments at me the entire time I’ve been back. You’ve been calling me a kiss ass and telling me that you’re tired of doing what Mom wants. Is that why you spent months’ worth of pension money on hunting supplies you’ll never need or use?”
How did you just come right out and ask a man like my father if he was engaging in passive aggressive warfare with his wife? It seemed preposterous. And yet my father didn’t look as though he were trying to hide it.
“I always dreamed of spending my retirement hunting in the woods down near the property where my family used to live,” Dad said quietly. “I thought I would be fishing all summer long at Mark Twain Lake and enjoying my retirement while your mother doted on a bunch of little grandkids who might eventually want to come out on the boat or to the lake with me.”
I realized that this was not at all what my father had gotten to do with his retirement. I held out my hands and apologize. “I’m sorry. I really am. I never intended to make decisions that would ruin your plans.”
“Both of you.” Dad sounded both gruff and incredibly irritated. He pointed to Thayla. “You’ve been living here since you were born. And your brother took off to Kansas City so that all the wife does is complain that she wants to go and visit.”
“I’m sorry, Dad.” Thayla sounded remorseful. “Things are changing though. They really are. I’m moving out. I’m getting my own place. And someday I hope to find a guy that won’t wind up being a total loser.”
I realized that my sister was crying. Or at least struggling to hold back tears. She swiped at her cheeks. I could not imagine what it would feel like to have your own father say these things. But it wasn’t my fault or Thayla’s that he was stuck in a recliner.
“Dad,” I began quietly. “You can say that your retirement didn’t turn out the way you wanted, but you don’t get to blame it all on me. That isn’t how it works. If you wanted things to be different, you should have done something about it!”
“I know.” His voice was rough. He struggled to stand up. No. Just to get to his knees. “I realized after I retired that my body just wasn’t going to work like I thought. It made me angry at first. But then I was just sad. I could sit here and I could watch all of these things that I wanted to do, but I couldn’t do any of them. I couldn’t do anything. I was too shaky to get up on a ladder and too weak to even think about going outside to do yardwork.”
Weak? I glanced at Thayla and I could immediately see that this was as much of a surprise to me as it was to her. She touched Dad’s shoulder and he turned to look at her. “Dad, didn’t you ever go to the doctor? What if there was a simple supplement or something that you could take that would make it better?”
“No! I didn’t go to no doctor!” my father blustered. He struggled to get to his feet and from there to slump back to his chair. “Doctors just make you sick.”
“No, Dad. Not always,” I told him quietly. “Sometimes they can look at your bloodwork and figure out that you’re just a little off. Why would you wait like this? What if you could take a simple iron pill or something and feel better?”
Dad looked spooked as hell. “You must be joking! What if I go and they say I’ve got something like cancer?”
“I think if you had cancer you would have had bigger issues by now. Don’t you think?” I intended to lead him into that next thought. But for a second it actually looked like I had blown his mind. Totally blown his mind.
“What?” He stammered the word and then tried to say something else, but the words were just lost. Then he tried again. “You’re saying it might not be cancer?”
“No!” Thayla gasped. “Not everything is cancer, Dad! You might have anemia or something. Maybe you’re just allergic to something else. But you won’t know until you go to the doctor and ask!”
Could it really be that simple? Could my father and my mother’s problems be as simple as a trip to the doctor? I shook my head and stared at my sister and I knew that right then we were both regretting the fact that we had never asked. Neither of us. We had never asked the questions or attempted to get an answer or tried to understand. We had just assumed our father was lazy and angry.
“What are the three of you doing in here just standing around?” Mom came into the living room from the kitchen. She had a platter in one hand and a dishrag in the other. She was busy wiping it down. “I’m just prewashing all of the thanksgiving dishes and things. You know, since we’re having a big day.”
Mom was beaming. I wondered if she cared that this big day actually involved the potential stoning of a man whom she had thought would be her son-in-law. I figured she was blocking that part out. That would be like her. Mom wanted to see the best in everything. Maybe this was a trait I needed to start trying to emulate myself.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Eleanor
It is quite possible that my head was still spinning from earlier. No. Not earlier when I had a nice chat with my friend about the upcoming plans to ditch the bad boyfriend. That was enjoyable, mostly because it felt so awesome to know that Thayla was excited about moving on and putting bad Brock Mortensen behind her. What I’m talking about is the little interlude between Kevin and myself in his bedroom. If it was possible to feel eighteen again, I think we had totally managed it.
Except I feel eighteen without all of the insecurity, baggage, and skin problems.
Well, maybe some insecurity. Except no. I really didn’t feel insecure. There was no more wondering about the identity of the mysterious baby mama because she did not exist! I could not even begin to express the kind of relief and excitement and—well, all of those crazy emotions that make you feel like you’re dancing on air.
I was practically light as a feather as I retrieved the empty garbage tote from the curb that night. I had just gotten home from Kevin’s house. I was deliberately refusing to unpack that bunch of weird baggage because it wouldn’t have done any good. I was humming as I positioned the big tote on the side of my house where it had been in the same spot since before I could remember. Ha! It had probably been sitting there before I was born.
The thought made me giggle.
“You know, I’m never sure if it’s your smile or your laugh that I find to be your most attractive feature.”
And there he was. I turned around and just like that I spotted Kevin Landau in his running clothes standing just a few yards away at the bottom of my driveway. He was smiling at me. Even in the semi-darkness and poor lighting of the street lamps and porch lights I could see the white flash of his teeth in his face.
“I’m going to say smile,” I told him. “Your smile is the sexiest thing about you.”
Kevin sauntered up the driveway. Yes. He was totally sauntering too. It was sending a thrill of awareness up my spine. I pressed my legs together beneath my skirt. An hour ago maybe. Maybe less. This man had sent me to the stars with nothing more than his hand on the outside of my panties. I would have been lying if I’d tried to say that I wasn’t dying of anticipation to see what might come next. Literally.
“So, I hear your parents aren’t home.” Kevin leaned against one of the front support posts only a few feet from my front door.<
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How was it possible to find him incredibly attractive and funny and sexy and annoying all at the same time? “Yeah,” I told him with my arms folded over my chest. “I’m totally throwing a party. You’re not invited though. You know, because I invited your sister.”
He put his hand over his heart. “I’m wounded, sweetheart. Cut to the core.”
So dramatic. And yet I was smiling because it was such a strange twist of fate that we would be having this conversation at all, much less that we were having it a good fifteen years later than I would have ever expected.
I reached out and grabbed the front of his running jacket. I practically yanked him inside the house and slammed the door behind us. “I wasn’t the type of girl to have parties, even back in high school.”
He was going to answer. He opened his mouth to give me an answer. I didn’t let him. I kissed him so fast and so hard and with so much ferocity that I think I actually felt the shock ripple through him. I pushed him back against the wall near the coat closet and rubbed my whole body against his. I undulated against him, reminding him of exactly what had happened earlier this afternoon.
He did not remain surprised or passive for long. His hands settled on my backside. He was already dragging my long skirt up toward my waist. I stumbled a bit as I kicked off my shoes. I wanted to kick of my clothes. I wanted to be naked with him and I wanted it now.
I put my hands on his chest. I kissed him hard, moving my mouth against his and nipping at his bottom lip and his tongue. It was too much. Too much for me. Too much for everything. I found the zipper of his track suit jacket and I practically ripped it in my haste to get the thing down.
I slid my hands underneath the windbreaker material of his jacket and over the soft cotton of his T-shirt. It wasn’t enough. I pushed at the jacket until I felt it slide over his shoulders. I heard it hit the floor. I didn’t care. I wanted the rest of our stuff on the floor too. It wasn’t like there was anyone to see. And if there had been I don’t think I would have cared about that either. I grabbed the fabric near his waistband and pulled the soft cotton up to expose his belly.
The first brush of my fingertips against his belly left us both shaking. I felt him tremble beneath my touch. The sensation that gave me—I can’t even describe it. It was like an acknowledgment of power and yet so much more! I let my nails drag over his skin. The muscles tightened beneath his taut skin. I wanted to feel that. I wanted more. And that is what made me stop kissing Kevin and sink down in front of him right there on my living room floor.
I kissed the skin right beneath his navel. The soft hairs tickled my nose. And when I grabbed hold of his elastic waistband, I heard his breath hitch with expectation. There was already a hard ridge growing behind the crotch of his running pants. When I dragged the elastic down over his butt, I made sure to grab his pants and his boxer briefs.
His erection sprang free. I felt a moment’s surprise. He was different now. It had been fifteen years. Of course he was different, but this was more. It was different. And yet the scent of him was the same. Clean soap. I lightly blew a stream of air across his shaft. The nest of tight dark curls was thicker now. I threaded my fingers through the coarse hair and gripped him in my hands. Snug, but not tight. He was barely breathing. I could see his belly taut with anticipation.
Then all at once I swallowed Kevin’s erection to the back of my throat. I licked him like a favorite treat and I could not get enough. His taste was earthy and masculine and better than I ever remembered from when we were younger. I felt an inexplicable shot of confidence and excitement and I knew that this was what I wanted right here and right now. I wanted this man. I wanted to bring him pleasure. And if the way he was touching my hair right now was any indicator, I had succeeded.
“Oh. My. God!” Kevin groaned. His hand reverently brushed over the top of my head. “Oh, baby. Baby! I—Sweetheart, you need to…”
He stopped talking, but it wasn’t because I quit. I kept sucking and tugging and using my tongue to stroke every inch of him that I could reach without gagging. This was fun. This was incredible. I had never truly understood as a young woman just how much fun it can be to bring a man pleasure like this. Now I did. I was older. I got it. Not being overpowered by a man, but overpowering him in turn because he wanted me so badly right now that I could taste it on his cock.
“Eleanor.”
His voice was rough as he grabbed me by both arms and dragged me away from his erection and up his body so that he could kiss my lips once again. I wrapped my arms around him. I flung myself into his arms. It was utter and complete surrender and I had no idea where we were going from here.
Of course there was still a sofa in the living room. The curtains were drawn over the big picture window at least. This was the direction that Kevin pulled me. He was busy toeing off his running shoes and shoving his pants and boxer briefs down his legs. He tripped a little on the fabric when it all hit the ground, but then he took a seat on the couch and nothing else mattered because he was naked.
“You have too much clothing on,” Kevin told me suddenly. “Explain to me how that’s fair.”
“Fair…” I reached for the hem of my sweater and wrestled it over my head. “I certainly don’t want to be accused of being unfair,” I told him with a laugh.
He reached up then and cupped my breasts through my bra. I didn’t care what the garment looked like. It felt too good when he touched me. Too good. So good. Then he ran the pads of his thumbs over my nipples beneath the taut fabric and I felt a scream get lodged in my throat.
Kevin reached around me and unfastened my bra. He pushed it down over my arms and it sort of flopped onto the ground, totally forgotten. Tugging me onto the sofa, he encouraged me to straddle his lap. I might have protested the position, but his lips found my breast and I totally forgot how to think or breathe.
It felt so good. Too good! I grabbed hold of his head and tugged at his hair. I needed him so badly. I felt as though my core was quickly reaching the point of meltdown. The blood was rushing so fast and furious through my veins that I could hear nothing but the roaring of it in my ears. Kevin’s hands settled on the outsides of my thighs. I was still wearing my skirt and my panties and for some reason this did not feel ridiculous. It was sexy beyond belief.
“I need you so badly.”
I thought the words were mine, but they were his. He stared up at me with a look of such heat and need in his eyes. I could feel the hard ridge of his erection trapped beneath me. He was pressing against me, but it wasn’t enough. I moved my body, grinding until I could feel the friction building between us. Still, it wasn’t nearly enough. I was ready. I think I had been ready for fifteen years.
I moved back, pulling away from his hands and removing myself from his lap. I was still so very aware of his gaze on me. The way that he looked at me! It burned hot and fierce with a deep need that I knew would never abate. Once. Twice. It didn’t matter. I would never get enough of this man and he would never get enough of me.
Pushing my panties and the elastic band of my skirt down my legs, I kicked them off onto the floor. I was naked. I kept waiting for the inevitably moment of shyness or self-consciousness, but it never happened. I felt nothing but the thrumming desire to belong to Kevin.
He held out his hands. I took them. With his help, I balanced myself on my knees on either side of his thighs. I sank down onto his erection. I felt the pressure and the heat and the friction of his flesh sliding into mine. The exquisite pleasure pain was almost too much. I gasped and trembled and if he had not put his hands on my waist to steady me, I don’t know if I would have been able to control myself.
I felt full. Full in a way that I did not remember but never wanted to forget. I closed my eyes and exhaled and then I began to move. Kevin groaned. I put my hands on his shoulders. I felt the tautness of the muscle there. His hands continued to hold tightly to my hips. His fingers dug into my waist, but I only felt pleasure. The incredible sensation of heat and friction
and longing and the urge to move.
I rocked against him. I had never made love in this position before. Once I might have worried that I didn’t know how. Now I knew. Raw instinct took over and it no longer mattered what I knew or didn’t or what I thought I was good at. I arched my back and lifted my hands to my hair to hold it back from my face. I rode Kevin as though I had been made to do that and nothing more. I moved against him, rubbing our bodies together until I felt the most incredible sensations starting to tingle through my body.
“That’s it, baby,” Kevin panted.
I opened my eyes and I looked at his face. The taut tension there drove my need and my want higher still. I loved the way I could see everything he was thinking and feeling right there on his face. It was all there. It was all perfect and lovely and I never, ever wanted to stop.
Moving my hips even faster, I increased the pace until the sofa was creaking and shaking and I wondered if the whole house wasn’t trembling with the force of our passion. He urged me on with words and looks and with his hands moving on my hips as though he needed me to go faster, ride harder, more heat, more friction, more of everything.
I felt my own climax coming, rising, and finally I saw stars as everything inside me came together all at once. I gasped and shuddered and suddenly I could not move. I was frozen there as my orgasm robbed me of breath.
“That’s my girl,” Kevin whispered.
His voice was tight. As tight as everything else. I could feel just how hard he was between my legs. And then all at once he shouted and thrust hard up into my body. I leaned over and kissed him, drinking in his shouts of pleasure and making love to him just one more time with my lips and my tongue as the two of us gave into our passion.
I lost track of time. It had no meaning. I felt the stickiness on the insides of my thighs and a slight soreness between my legs. I knew it came from him. From us. But that was exactly as it should be. His arms were around me. My face was buried against his chest. And for just a moment there was nothing else in the world other than the two of us.
Tangled: Contemporary Romance Trilogy Page 44