The Fairer Hex

by Lidiya Foxglove

  We ate over-scrambled eggs. All was well.

  And then, an old black car crawled up our driveway. We heard the engine coming. We both moved to the window in silence. It looked like it came out of a 1940s noir film. There was no question that the warlocks had arrived.

  My heart was pounding.

  “Shit,” Dad said. “Where’s Firian?”

  “Here.” Firian walked out of the bathroom and we both yelped.

  “I apologize,” he said. “I thought it might scare you even more if I just appeared in the middle of the living room.”

  “You teleported into our bathroom?”

  “I shifted into the Ethereal realm and then reappeared. That’s what familiars do. I sensed your distress.”

  “Man, where were you when Kelly was bullying me in middle school?”

  “I can’t really protect you from humans,” he said, frowning.

  The doors of the car opened and a man stepped out. He was dressed in a belted black trench coat and a hat tilted at a slightly rakish angle, some papers tucked under his arm. He was a handsome older man, and he looked like he meant business as he marched up our steep driveway. I was feeling really uncomfortable with this situation. I couldn’t imagine getting in a car with a strange, lone man. He banged on the door a second later.

  “Well, are you going to answer the door or just freeze?” Firian asked. “I shouldn’t open it. A familiar playing butler? What kind of impression would that make?”

  Dad snapped to life and threw the door open. I ran after him. We had to face whatever this was together.

  “Greetings,” the man said. “My name is Mr. Flores, of the Flores clan. I’m the head of admissions at the Merlin Academy, and I’m here for Mr. Byrne.”

  “Charlotte,” I said. “I’m a girl.”

  “You auditioned to attend our school. You were male at that time. What’s going on?”

  “I—I didn’t. I wasn’t. I’ve never been ‘male’. I’ve never auditioned for your school.”

  “I have all the notes here. You were recommended by Samuel Caruthers himself.”

  “Who is that?”

  “The renowned necromancer, Samuel Caruthers,” he said impatiently, like I was being willfully ignorant.

  “Uh…”

  Mr. Flores glanced at my familiar somewhat judgmentally, I thought. Firian gave him a cool look in response.

  “I must admit, you do look more feminine than you did at the audition.”

  “Did the boobs tip you off?” I crossed my arms.

  “I—I was not—looking at those,” Mr. Flores said.

  “Someone posing as Charlotte auditioned to attend your school?” Dad said. “Recommended by Samuel Caruthers? Her grandmother was a Caruthers, but we don’t know the rest of the family.”

  “Yes. I auditioned a young man named Char Byrne who looked just like you, except…boyish.” Mr. Flores shook his head at his paperwork. “I am not easily fooled. I don’t know why anyone would go to all the trouble of a deception like this.”

  “I don’t either!” I said.

  I still wasn’t sure what I wanted out of this encounter but I couldn’t turn away. I mean, this guy had driven right to my house in a 1940s car to pick me up. And I had a boy doppelganger?

  “Admission to Merlin College is extremely serious,” he said. “We only admit boys who exhibit a tendency for prime or ‘sans pareil’ status. Students of Merlin College are the future leaders of the world. Attendance is, per the council, mandatory, because we do not allow students of that level of talent to simply run around unchecked, potentially tempted by dark magic.”

  “But I’m not the person who auditioned,” I said. “I’ve never even used my magic.”

  “Her mother blocked it,” Dad said.

  “One of the greatest dark witches of the last century rose under similar circumstances. Her powers were blocked in childhood, but once released, she proved to be most dangerous. And like you, Char, she also had tainted blood.”

  “Tainted blood? Are you talking about my dad?”

  “No, I’m talking about your grandparents,” he said. “A witch who was lost to us, and a Sinistral low demon—to be specific, a werewolf.”

  “No part of my kid’s blood is tainted,” Dad said. “And this makes no sense. Charlotte’s been right here all along. I never told her anything about her origins. Maybe you should talk to Samuel Caruthers.”

  “Samuel Caruthers…” He looked a little distressed. “May I use your telephone?”

  From the way he asked, I could tell he wasn’t asking because sometimes service was spotty out here. He just didn’t have any phone, period.

  Dad unlocked his cell phone and handed it over. Mr. Flores looked like he didn’t know how to use it, but he didn’t ask for help, he just swept back down the driveway toward his car. We watched him poking at it for a little while before he put it to his ear.

  “Dad, he could steal stuff off your phone,” I said.

  “I’m not worried. I know how magical people are. They can barely turn on a television.”

  Mr. Flores talked to someone softly, but urgently.

  I turned to ask Firian about this, and I realized he had vanished.

  “You’re not going with him,” Dad said. “No matter what.”

  Mr. Flores came back, locking onto me with his eyes. “Miss Byrne, I just spoke to Master Blair. You need to come to Merlin College. Yes, your technical status as a ‘witch’ will be an unusual precedent, but we need to find out what’s going on. Maybe we need to keep you safe from someone.”

  “I understand,” Dad said. “Keeping Charlotte safe is all that matters. Did you pack a bag?”

  “Dad? I thought you said—“

  Mr. Flores gave me an insistent look. “I cast a small enchantment on your father to minimize his distress. Did you pack a bag? You will not need clothes. Merlin College has a uniform.”

  “A uniform? At college? A boy’s uniform?”

  “This is not an ordinary college,” he said. “This school is attended by warlocks so potentially powerful that they must be protected. We’ll try to get you transferred to Morgana College, our sister school, but in the meantime…”

  “Go on, Charlotte,” Dad said. “It’s for the best. I could never have saved you from…all of this.”

  “Dad! You’re…not yourself right now. Turn him back right now or I’m not going anywhere.”

  Firian walked back into the room. His hair had a leaf in it. “Go pack, Charlotte,” he said. “We were naive for trying to avoid it, weren’t we…?” He looked somber as he looked at Mr. Flores.

  “Apparently so,” Mr. Flores said. “But there’s still plenty of time. Luckily…someone was looking out for you.”

  Chapter Five

  Charlotte

  The drive was long enough for me to go through a few stages of excitement, grief, and terror. I hadn’t really gotten to say a proper goodbye to my dad because he was enchanted, and I wasn’t sure if I was being kidnapped or not. Firian was with me, but it wasn’t like I really knew him either. Plus, he kept staring out the window with this contemplative look on his face, stroking his claws across his chin, and whenever I asked him what he was thinking about, he just said, “Lots of things.”

  “Lots of things?”

  “Lots.”

  “Are you messing with me?”

  “Now why would I do that?” He turned back to the window.

  I had already gotten the picture that I wasn’t supposed to rely too much on my familiar, like, emotionally. So maybe he was infuriating on purpose, so I wouldn’t lean on him.

  I wondered what would happen if Dad was right, and the magical world really was dangerous, and something happened to me, leaving him all alone.

  I took a lot of deep breaths. We drove down a lot of lonely and somewhat treacherous mountain roads, passing no large towns, until finally, when we seemed to be utterly in the middle of nowhere, we reached a pair of black iron gates. Mr. Flores waved his hand
, and they opened for him.

  We drove down a long driveway. I saw a couple of guys wandering around in groups. It looked like orientation was going on. Thick forest surrounded the school on all sides.

  The campus buildings were dotted throughout the forest behind the tall iron fence, gorgeous old structures that had Gilded Age glamour. The classes were in stone buildings and the dorms were big Victorian houses. I felt like a more important person just being here. I also felt very exposed. As soon as I stepped out of the car, people were staring at me.

  I seemed to be the only girl in the whole place.

  “Am I the only girl in the whole place?” I asked Mr. Flores.

  “No, there’s…the—there’s a girl working in the kitchen,” he said, but even as he said it even he seemed to realize it was a dumb answer. “Oh—Master Blair’s having his office redecorated. There’s a woman doing that, too.”

  Uh-huh.

  The only. Girl. In the whole. Place.

  I followed Mr. Flores in the doors of the main hall. Inside, there was a stained glass skylight, and a floor tiled with a picture of the zodiac, and a gilded balcony, with dark wooden paneled walls. We went upstairs, passing more boys. Handsome boys. Beautiful boys. Gorgeous boys. A wide variety of different kinds of attractive boys. Mr. Flores had gotten way ahead of me.

  I must have had a look on my face that was, um, revealing. Firian reached over and shut my mouth with his finger.

  “Try not to be so obvious,” he whispered.

  “Jerk.”

  “Remember, witches and warlocks learn how to make themselves more attractive.”

  “What do you mean ‘remember’? I never knew that in the first place.”

  “Yes. I suppose we would all know that you don’t know that, just to look at you.”

  “Why are you such an ass if you’re supposed to be my magical assistant?”

  “That’s why. Because I’m your magical assistant. We’re supposed to have snarky one-liners. Like in a Disney movie.”

  “But you’re not—“

  He took a step back and transformed into a fox. “Better?”

  “No,” I said, through gritted teeth. “Now everyone’s looking at us.”

  “This is no time to mess around,” Mr. Flores said, impatient. “Familiar, it would probably be best if you returned to Etherium.”

  “I’m staying here,” Firian said. “Charlotte doesn’t know enough about this world to feel safe on her own yet.”

  “Well, then, you can at least wait outside.”

  We entered through an old wooden door that creaked, into the office of Dean Blair. It was lined with bookshelves, and a huge desk dominating the center of the room. Behind the desk, tall windows looked out over the campus green.

  I was fully expecting an old wizard with a long white beard. No reason. Just…every book ever.

  Instead, I got an ageless, elven-looking man with artfully shaggy brown hair. He was wearing a waistcoat with a fitted dress shirt and had a big black ring on one finger, which I assumed did some intense magical thing. Unless books just totally lied to me on all counts.

  “Master Blair. This is the student presumed to be Char Byrne. As I said, he is actually a she. Charlotte.”

  “You checked?” ‘Master’ Blair’s lips pursed in disapproval as he rose to greet me. “I’m not sure that is really the way for an admissions officer to behave…”

  “No one needs to check,” I said. “I’m a girl. I was born a girl, and I’ve always been a girl, with girl parts, a girl brain, and a girl identity. I don’t know Samuel Caruthers. I never took the admissions test. This entire thing is a total shock to me. I didn’t even know my mother was a witch or that I had a familiar or anything.”

  “You’re shaking.” Master Blair patted my shoulder. “Well…Mr. Flores feels that you must attend our school, until we understand what happened. We don’t know if someone is trying to hurt you, or hurt us, or…”

  “I would not guess that this is good,” Mr. Flores said. “Let’s put it that way.”

  “This is a boy’s school, though,” I said. “So that’s…going to be strange.”

  “Yes. Witches and warlocks are usually segregated all through their education because they learn different magic,” Master Blair said. “We could send you over to Morgana College…”

  “Yes, that’s what I would advise,” Mr. Flores said.

  “But if you are truly a great sans pareil…I would rather have you here,” Master Blair said softly. It made me nervous. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to help me, or he thought I was something special to make use of.

  “Will I get to see my dad?”

  “You will have holidays,” he said, in a tone that wasn’t too encouraging. “Charlotte…more than anything, you must be very curious to know more about your mother. Your mother’s clan. Who sent you here. And magic in general…”

  He had me there. “Yes, please. I’m dying to know.”

  “You’re in good hands. Merlin College is your new home.”

  Hey, that was not an answer. What a tease.

  “What about the classes?” I asked. “This is a university, right? Don’t I have to know magic already in order to attend?”

  “We can work with that,” Master Blair said dismissively. “Let’s talk business. Charlotte Byrne…let’s see…we’re putting you in Lancelot House. Do you like the Arthurian theme we have going? It’s stupid,” he said, testily. “What a pre-Raphaelite conceit that is. Anyway, we have you rooming with…Alec Lyrman.”

  “Lyrman? With a young lady?” Mr. Flores gave Master Blair a look like he was crazy.

  “Well, we’re very full,” Master Blair said. “And it will be good for him. We’ll take care of Alec. He won’t be able to hurt you. Mr. Flores, you can hand her off to Benton for some proper clothes.”

  “I hope you won’t hurt someone for my sake,” I said.

  “Heh…no. We’ll teach him self control. Very fitting, very fitting.”

  Mr. Flores was already moving me out the door, just as I was getting concerned that Master Blair was going to enchant some poor boy’s dick so it electrocuted him when he looked at me wrong or something. But I guess it wasn’t my business.

  Chapter Six

  Charlotte

  There was a small shop on campus where students could purchase their wardrobes out of a select number of pieces. They were all very classic. They looked handsome on guys, I must say. Dress shirts and pants, ties in a few different striped combinations, a few styles of jackets and coats, even cloaks if you really wanted to be a guy who can pull off a cloak. I guess I would find out who that was.

  I didn’t see any pajama pants, yoga pants, sweatpants, leggings, hoodies, or shirts that referenced one episode of Game of Thrones, so I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do.

  “If your familiar is going to accompany you,” said Benton, the guy running the shop, who seemed like he might also be more comfortable in sweatpants and a shirt that referenced an episode of Game of Thrones, “he needs to be dressed properly as well.”

  Firian was back in human form at this time, although he was keeping a little distance from me. He was wearing a nondescript t-shirt and shorts and ratty Converse, which was kind of hilarious when I considered that he manifested all of his clothes.

  “I’m just a familiar,” he said.

  “Yes, but there’s a dress code here. I’m sure you’ve heard this is the premiere warlock school in America. So you can’t just bum around.”

  “I think that’s racist,” Firian said. “This dress code seeks to maintain a white male Western-dominated status quo.”

  Benton looked at him with a dull, unchanged expression. “I don’t…I don’t know. They’re the rules. Everyone wears this stuff.”

  Firian looked at me. “So, now you know that’s not going to work.”

  “Are you making fun of me? I wasn’t going to say anything. And that’s not how I talk.”

  “That’s how everyone on the in
ternet talks,” Firian said. “I didn’t learn it from Etherium, that’s for sure.”

  “Is this because I told you that Firia’s outfit is impractical for battle?”

  “Okay, well, you still need to change,” Benton told Firian. “You can’t walk around here like that. You’re a familiar so I know you can change right now.”

  Firian looked annoyed, but he stepped into a dressing room. He came out a second later in a wrinkled untucked dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and dress pants.

  Benton gave me a nasty look like I needed to tame my familiar.

  “You look miserable,” I told Benton.

  I don’t think I made any friends in the uniform store. I found some extra-small shirts and pants with a subtle plaid print, plus a blazer that fit me pretty well. I was not used to dressing like this, but I did look kind of cute in the mirror. More grown-up and sophisticated.

  As I was giving myself the final once-over in the mirror before asking how the heck I was supposed to pay for this anyway, because the shirts alone cost fifty dollars, the door burst open and a guy walked in.

  I mean, of course it was a guy. That was obviously a given unless a random kitchen girl or Master Blair’s decorator came looking for me.

  Actually, it was two guys. Another one came in behind the first.

  “So it’s true,” the first guy said, looking at me. “A witch at warlock school.”

  “Greetings,” the second guy said.

  The first guy was very buttoned down with his tie knotted as tight against his neck as it could go, short hair combed back like he went to the hairdresser and said ‘give me the rich douche’. He was very blonde, like his eyebrows were disappearing, with very blue eyes, and he was almost as tall as Firian. He had the look of a prick who was used to having everything his way.

  The second guy had longer black hair and had perfectly roguish facial hair. He was shorter but had just as much presence as the other guy. He was wearing like, a velvet smoking jacket that I didn’t see for sale. I could already sense it was going to be hard to tell who was gay around here and I swear none of these guys seemed like they could possibly be freshmen or even young enough to be in college at all.