by E L Bossert
“Doesn’t look like anyone will mind if I borrow one,” Pops justified out loud, hoping he would return before anyone else appeared at the lake that morning.
Pops was by no means an expert with a paddle, but the plan was to make his way to the side of the lake where a wide creek went under the highway bridge and wound around to the back side of Jamie’s property. There he hoped to find a landing and a path through the woods, leading to the edge of the clearing. If there was no path, it would be tough bushwhacking through the summer undergrowth. He packed water and snack bars, and sprayed himself with insect repellant for what could be a long wait in the woods. Unfortunately he was not wearing snake boots, so he would be taking his chances in that regard.
Paddling down the creek with the current was easy. He navigated his way to a spot which appeared on the map to be closest to the back of Jamie’s house. Pops pulled the canoe out of the creek, leaving it on the bank and hoping he could find the creek and canoe again. Otherwise, his Plan B involved announcing his presence and possibly being arrested for trespassing.
“I really need to find an easier job,” Pops said, talking to himself as he crawled up the creek bank. “I’m getting too old for this.”
“No snakes, no snakes, no snakes,” was his mantra as he crashed through the woods until a trail appeared. Three-quarters of a mile along the trail, Pops settled into a spot at the edge of the clearing behind Jamie’s house. There was a clear view of the pool and patio and he could see light through the kitchen window. He would have to sell any photos anonymously to avoid being prosecuted for trespassing, but an exclusive photo would bring in big money making it worth the risk.
Pops did not have to wait long. A tall, dark haired woman stepped out on the patio. Who’s that? he wondered, definitely not Jamie or anyone from her family. Soon, Jamie herself appeared next to the mystery woman.
Pops leveled his lens at them, taking six test shots to check the light and focus. He checked the photos on the screen on the back of the camera. They were on the dark side and grainy, but a person could tell it was Jamie. She was recognizable.
Just then the women wrapped their arms around each other. It didn’t matter who the other woman was now, they were in what could easily be captioned a lover’s embrace. Dollar signs flashed in Pop’s mind as he kept his finger pinned down on the rapidly clicking shutter. Jackpot!
A minute later a car approached the house and the might-be lovers left their embrace, disappearing inside the house. Pops waited several minutes. As soon as a second car came toward the house, he started back down the trail towards the creek. Paddling against the current, the return trip to the lake took a lot longer, requiring Pops to use muscles he did not ordinarily use during a workday.
“I could have been a wedding photographer,” Pops told himself as he struggled. “Bridezilla must be less dangerous than snakes.”
By the time Pops floated to the dock, he was sweating and tired. He pulled the canoe from the lake onto the shore and carried it to the rack. Reorienting himself, he walked past the other cars in the parking lot toward the spot where he left the rental car. There were three fishing boats drifting on the lake, but no one paid any attention to his presence.
“That went well,” Pops congratulated himself. He was impatient, wanting to sit in the car and check the pictures to figure out which ones would bring the most money. He would send those choice photos while he waited at the airport for his flight.
AS SHE WAITED IN THE parking lot for the towed car’s driver, Chief pulled on a floppy fishing hat. Keeping the trunk lid up to hide the badge on the license plate, she tidied her car. During a trip to the recycling bin by the picnic tables, she spotted a man pulling a canoe out of the water. A camera with a long lens hung from his neck. She reasoned this had to be the paparazzi guy.
Chief watched as Pops made his way through the parking lot toward the now empty space where the towed car had been parked. Pops looked around, seeming unsure if he was in the right spot. He turned around twice, looking in every direction.
“Shit...shit, shit, shit,” Pops began a new mantra.
“Everything okay?” Chief called over to where Pops was making himself dizzy whirling around.
“Shit. My car’s been stolen.”
“What did your car look like?” Chief walked toward Pops, her hat pulled low.
“It was gray, 4 doors.”
“Ah, must have been your car I saw the tow truck leave with a few minutes ago.”
“Shit. Why would they tow it?”
“Did you park there? On the grass?”
“Yea. Why?”
“See the sign over there?” Chief pointed to the No Parking on the Grass sign. “They do that all the time. Pisses me off. Had my car towed once, too. They just want your money.” Chief was laying it on thick to gain Pop’s confidence.
“No shit. Where do they take the car? ”
“City impound.”
“Guess I need a taxi—is there even a taxi or ride service in this place?”
“Good luck finding a driver who’ll come all the way out here. Take an hour, at least.”
“Damn. I have a plane to catch.” Pops searched his pockets for his cell phone.
“Hey, would you like a ride to town? I’m probably not going to catch anything today anyway. I can drop you off at the impound. It’s on my way home.”
“Really? That would be great. I’ll pay you.” Pops wanted to add, anything to get out of this hell-hole, but decided to not chance offending a local.
“Ah, no problem. Hate to see people treated bad. In fact, maybe we can catch the driver before he drops the car. Those guys stop at the diner on the north side of town, just hang out. If he’s there, bet if you buy his lunch, he’ll let you have the car. They don’t give a shit where their money comes from,” Chief spoke rapid-fire, reeling Pops in.
“Great. Thanks. Let’s go.”
“Sure, let me grab my reels from the fishing pier over there. Would you mind giving me a hand? I set up four this morning. Don’t want to leave ‘em out here. They’re expensive and some yahoo will come along and steal ‘em.” Chief walked toward the fishing pier hoping Pops would follow. “Do you want to leave your camera in my car?”
“No, it’s fine.” Pops scurried alongside his volunteer driver.
Chief was counting on the regulars having left a few rods at the end of the pier. In the summer some of the old fishers would say they were leaving fishing poles for the kids, but really it was just in case they were driving past and wanted to stop and cast a line.
As Chief and Pops reached the long wooden pier, there were indeed four rods lined up on the other end. The poles did not look expensive, but the visual was good enough to keep up the story. Chief proceeded along the pier with Pops beside her. The camera was hanging on Pops’ side, the strap slung over one shoulder.
“You one of those nature photographers?” Chief sounded mildly interested.
“Birds mostly.” Pops had used the story before even though he knew next to nothing about feathered fowl. If it was red it must be a cardinal, anything blue was a blue jay, and everything else was just something that might leave a mess on his car.
Chief tripped as she neared the end of the pier, bumping into Pops just enough to cause him to lose his balance and lurch off the pier into the water. The water was about five feet deep at the point where Pops belly flopped and submerged. He quickly broke through surface, found his footing to stand, and gasped for air.
“What the fuck? What’d you do that for?” Pops sputtered.
“I’m sorry,” Chief did her best contrite look, “I’m so clumsy. Here, let me help you.”
Pops grabbed at a plank on the pier to pull himself up but lost his grip and fell back in the water. At that point he gave up and swam toward shore. Emerging from the water, soaked and dripping, disgust enveloped his face as he looked at his dripping camera. He felt his pocket for his phone, which was undoubtedly frying its own insides as he stood th
ere.
Chief looked at him, not bothering to contain a smirk.
Pops instantly flushed red with anger. “You did that on purpose, you—” Pops charged Chief, taking a swing that grazed her chin.
On his follow through, Chief gave Pops a little trip, shoving him to the ground. She stepped back as the soaked paparazzi scrambled to his feet for another charge.
Chief pulled the badge from her back pocket, holding it directly in front of Pops face. “You’re under arrest for assaulting a police officer.”
Pops halted, eyes focusing on the face in front of him. Chief’s hat had come off during the altercation and he recognized her from a picture at one of Jamie’s openings. “You’re...shit.”
Chapter Sixteen
“YOU HAVE THE RIGHT to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right—” Chief’s recitation was interrupted.
“Yea, yea, whatever,” Pops had illusions of negotiating his way out of this mess. “What do you want?”
“I don’t want anything. You were doing okay until you hit me.” Chief remained calm, having already achieved most of her objective. “Give me the camera and your phone. You can make a call from the station. What’s your name?”
Pops handed over the useless phone but hesitated to give up the camera. When Chief held out her hand, Pops handed her the dripping equipment.
“People call me Pops. You know you can’t search either of those without a warrant.”
“Of course I know that,” Chief smirked, wanting to make Pops uncomfortable. “What were you really taking pictures of? It wasn’t birds.”
Pops remained silent.
“Okay.” Chief pulled out her cell phone and called dispatch, “Send a car out to the lake. I have one to bring in and I don’t want him getting my seats wet.” Chief ended the call and turned back to Pops. “Do I need to put a twisty tie on your hands or will you behave?”
“And if I don’t behave?” Pops inquired smugly.
“I’ll shoot you in your bad leg first.”
“I don’t have a bad leg.”
“You will after I shoot you.” Chief’s chuckle possessed a hint of menace.
Pops nodded his understanding and walked slowly toward the parking lot. Chief followed, slinging the dripping camera over her shoulder.
“Have I seen you before?” Chief asked out of interest more than interrogation.
“I remember you from a movie opening. You worked security.”
“Ah, yes. This probably isn’t how you planned your day,” Chief sounded almost sympathetic. “Were you planning on selling these pictures or were you trespassing just for the heck of it?”
Pops didn’t answer. He leaned against Chief’s car to wait, still soaked from his dip in the lake.
“If I see a picture anywhere, I will know it’s you. Then we’ll charge you with trespassing on top of assault.” Chief upped the ante in this game.
“I didn’t have time to upload any pictures of the love birds, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Pops hoped for some leniency by providing this much information while not confessing to any crimes.
“Good. We’ll loan you some dry clothes at the station. Want a granola bar? Bottle of water?” Chief played the benevolent captor. She sensed Pops was telling the truth about not uploading pictures from the camera, but if there were any on the phone, they might be stored on a backup site in the cloud. Chief would ask Shon to keep an eye on social media for new pictures of Jamie, or Boo, that might have originated from someone trespassing. With any luck, this bullet had been dodged. For now.
A uniformed sheriff’s deputy arrived several minutes later and loaded Pops in the back of his patrol car.
“Book him on a felony charge of assaulting a police officer and a misdemeanor theft by unlawful taking—let’s just say he borrowed a canoe without asking. I’ll be in soon to do the paperwork. Do not take him to today’s initial appearances at the courthouse. I don’t want him out on bail yet. He should have an out-of-state ID. A felony assault will keep him in until tomorrow morning. Understood?”
The deputy nodded his understanding and inquired, “He hit you, Chief?”
“Yea, but I’m okay. Don’t be hard on him. He’s had a really tough day.”
Chief handed the camera to her deputy, turning it on as she let go. They both heard sizzling crackles inside the camera body.
“Oops.”
AT THE FARM, SHON BUZZED Chief through the gate. Chief stopped by the office first to update Shon and Sarah, summarizing the morning arrest.
“I’m not sure what pictures he took or if he uploaded any. He was down the creek meaning he was out behind the house. I’ll talk to Jamie. Keep an eye on social media for any pictures or posts that might come from this guy. I’ll see if I can get a warrant to search the camera and phone, but I doubt a judge will allow it. We may have to play wait and see.”
Shon and Sarah both nodded solemnly before Sarah changed the subject.
“Would you join us for family dinner tonight? We’ll talk about everything.” Sarah would let Jamie inform Chief about her plans to take Boo to the gallery opening.
“Thanks, but I don’t want to intrude.”
“You’re family. Be there at 6:00,” Sarah’s declaration was a command not easily disobeyed.
As Chief made her way out of the office, Shon called after her in a sing-song voice, “By the way, I dropped Gabriela off at the house a little while ago.”
Chief blushed like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
MAX RAN TO THE FRONT door to greet Chief. The enthusiasm of a four-year-old is as refreshing as it is infectious. Jamie and Boo both hugged Chief.
Gabriela was last in the greeting line. She looked Chief over, giving an appreciative smile. As she leaned in to embrace Chief, she whispered, “If I grab your ass, will you have to arrest me for assaulting an officer?”
“Somebody already beat you to it today,” Chief wisecracked in response.
Gabriela took a step back, looking at Chief’s face for clues about whether she should be jealous or alarmed.
“I need to talk to Jamie.” Chief turned to Boo. “Would you excuse us for a few minutes, please.”
“Sure. Max and I are working on a get-well card for Gee.” Boo looked around for Max, who had already disappeared into his room to retrieve coloring pencils.
“Gabriela can stay. It will save me the time repeating it all.” Jamie looked expectantly at Chief.
Chief recounted the morning’s events to Jamie and Gabriela, including the arrest for assaulting a police officer, implicitly explaining her reply to Gabriela’s earlier proposition.
“Bottom line is we can bet he took pictures. What we don’t know is what those pictures were or if any of them will end up posted.”
Jamie remembered her tender morning embrace with Boo on the patio. If Sarah had not arrived when she did, there might have been an even more interesting photo op. Her cheeks blushed at the thought.
“Boo and I were on the patio early this morning. It would have been a clear shot from the woods. I remember Fred going down there later and sniffing around. I bet she smelled this guy.” Jamie felt violated, as though her safe place had been invaded. “I remember the guy you’re talking about. He was always one of the nicer ones. Never tried to bait people. I wouldn’t have thought he would sink this low.” Jamie was beyond being surprised by what people would do, enticed by the lure of money.
“I’ll advise you to hire private security if you want to patrol the property. Not much else I tell you.” Chief shook her head. Despite the security already in place, Jamie’s home was not totally safe from individuals motivated by greed. Or worse.
“Now, I have a few things to tell you.” Jamie launched into her news. “First, I told Boo about my work. She didn’t recognize me in any of the movies I showed her, although she remembered a couple of the animated films. Said she had seen them with her nephew. Second, if there
is a picture, it will just speed up our plan. The family will attend the gallery opening Thursday night in town. Boo will join us and we are inviting the press to cover the event. Boo will be included in pictures with the family, which will be posted. We’re hoping someone will see the picture and get in touch. What do you think?”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” Chief said. “The paparazzi are starting to descend, so the sooner the better. Gabriela, will you be staying for the opening?”
“No, unfortunately not. I have a flight back to the city Thursday morning. I have a deadline and need to finish the project this week.”
“Would I be able to see you sometime tomorrow?” Chief cocked an eyebrow and suppressed a grin as she asked.
“You can start by seeing me tonight for dinner at Sarah’s. And, please join us for a family picnic tomorrow.” Gabriela did not trust herself to spend time alone with Chief. She did not want to raise Chief’s expectations that their casual tryst could become a full-blown love affair.
“Sounds lovely. I’d be honored.” Chief nodded her understanding of the invitations as she departed to return to the station to fill out the booking paperwork on Pops.
Gabriela and Jamie spent the rest of the morning by the pool talking, with Max joining them on and off between his other pursuits of happiness. Boo also came and went, balancing respect for Jamie’s friendship with Gabriela and wanting to become better acquainted with Jamie’s best friend.
Later in the afternoon, as Gabriela played with Max in the pool, Jamie took advantage of time alone with Boo in the kitchen. She relayed Chief’s story about the paparazzi with a minimum of emotion, trying to not upset Boo.
“I’m really sorry this happened,” Boo responded to the news. “If I weren’t here, would he have been sneaking around?”
“Boo, it’s what they do. It doesn’t matter if you’re here or not.”
“Do you think he took a picture of us, together, this morning?”