by Eric Vall
“Never, you say?” Balabar raised his eyebrows again. “I would like to see more evidence of that.”
“Balabar, be polite,” his wife, Nissa, chided him. The tiny woman had long, almost-white blonde hair that fell in a braid to her knees, and she was carrying their baby in a sling on her chest.
“What’s your baby’s name?” Penelope asked, and she practically had hearts in her eyes as she stared at the little gnome infant.
“This is Roza,” Nissa replied as she tickled the baby under her chin, and the infant broke out into a huge, drooly smile and babbled random syllables as she tried to pull off her mother’s hat.
“I just adore babies!” the naiad squeaked. “How old is she?”
“She’s eight months old now,” the blonde gnome said with a proud smile. “Would you like to hold her? She’s very squirmy right now, though, because she learned to crawl recently.”
“Oh, yes,” the blue woman sighed with shining eyes. “I would love to hold her so much.”
Nissa pulled Roza out of her sling and handed her to Penelope, who cradled the baby against her chest for a moment. The tiny infant couldn’t have been more than eight inches tall, and she looked like a doll in Penelope’s arms. Then the naiad held Roza up high in the air as she smiled from ear to ear, and the baby erupted into giggles.
“Ooh, she likes you,” Nissa cooed. “You have a way with babies. You can hold her for as long as you want.”
This made the naiad blush a beautiful purple hue as she nodded her thanks to the kind gnome, but she could barely take her eyes off the little baby when she did it. Penelope goaded a few more giggles out of the child and glowed more every second, and if I had a body, I would have been smiling almost as much as her.
The cheerful woman just looked so natural and beautiful in that moment.
“Penelope, if you keep up all those smiles, everyone’s going to figure out your secret,” I chuckled. “Not that I mind… a baby looks good on you.”
Penelope didn’t respond directly to me, but an even more euphoric smile broke out on her lips as she continued to swing Roza up and down.
Then I saw Nicola give the naiad a long, searching look and purse her lips, and I wondered how much the dark-haired beauty suspected.
“Hi!” Aleia chirped as she rushed into the garden, and her slim arms were piled with a stack of wood so high she could barely see over it. “Elowise, Wilfrim, I’m so glad you’re here!”
“They’re going to eat with us,” Nicola explained. “Isn’t it so lovely that they came to visit?”
“It is!” Aleia grinned as she set the wood down on the ground. “I suppose I should light at least one of the fires so we can eat soon. We were planning to grill the tenderloin to dine right away.”
“Let me help you build the fire, dear,” Elowise offered as her mouth crinkled into a smile. “I want to be of some assistance to you today.”
“Well, Jack gave us this tool…” the fairy trailed off, and I could tell she wasn’t sure whether or not to tell the gnome about the torch.
“Go on, tell her,” I urged the strawberry-blonde. I was really curious to hear what the gnomes would say.
“Jack gave us this tool,” Aleia repeated to the small creatures, and she picked up the bright blue propane torch and pulled the trigger. A large stream of flame shot out, and I watched the gnomes’ eyes widen in shock. “It’s a god tool called a… well, he called it some kind of torch, and it’s going to make it really easy to start a fire.”
“Well now, that’s impressive,” Wilfrim said with a brow raised. “You say Jack gave you that? I’ve never seen anything like it in my entire life.”
“Yes, it was a gift from the heavens,” Penelope interjected. “Jack gives us many tools, and they are all so special.”
The naiad gestured around the garden, and the gnomes stared at the modern axe and the shovel for a moment before Balabar addressed the blue woman.
“I, too, have never seen anything of this nature,” the small man said with a frown on his face. “I have never been interested in religion, but this here… this is somewhat fascinating.”
Was I starting to win him over?
“Yes, dear,” Elowise said after a long moment. “This is most unusual. Well, Aleia, would you like me to help you start the fire with your… heavenly contraption?”
“That would be lovely, Elowise,” the strawberry-blonde replied with a grateful smile. “I appreciate your help, and I’ll carry the wood over to the pit.”
The gnomes watched as the petite fairy easily lifted the huge stack of wood and fluttered it over to the hole she’d dug.
“You ladies sure are quite impressive,” Balabar admitted, which was definitely the nicest thing I’d ever heard the gnomish man say.
“So, I thought we could lay the green branches on stakes for support in the pit,” Aleia explained to the old woman.
“Yes, we’ve always used that method for smoking, as well,” Elowise agreed.
“Do you all want to sit down around the fire they’re building?” Penelope offered. “I’m sorry we can’t be more formal.”
“I’d love to!” Wilfrim replied in a hearty voice, and he walked over to the pit and plopped himself down on the ground. Balabar and Nissa followed without complaining, and the priestesses all looked relieved.
Aleia set up the supports for the grate, put down a layer of firewood, and then laid out the green sticks. After examining the setup closely, the fairy left a space on the side to light the fire, and when she was done, the strawberry-blonde stood up and dusted off her hands.
“I think we’re ready!” Aleia told the crowd.
“How do you use that heavenly torch of yours?” the old woman asked. “I certainly wouldn’t mind trying my hand with a godly tool.”
“Here you are,” Aleia said as she handed Elowise the tank, which looked huge in the gnome’s teeny hands. “Just aim this metal part at the flames and push the red button.”
Elowise studiously followed the fairy’s instructions, but as soon as a stream of flame erupted from the nozzle, the old woman squealed in surprise. Her eyes bulged as her wrinkly face flushed with glee, and I could tell her kind definitely appreciated a handy tool. I filed this information away as I thought about our future trades with the gnomes, but then Elowise aimed the flame at the tinder, and a crackling fire immediately sparked to life.
The gnomes broke out into cheers like the old woman had just performed a magic show, and Wilfrim proudly patted Elowise on the back.
“Good job,” the old man praised his wife. “These heavenly tools sure are something.”
Just then, Morrick returned with the salt, and Nicola’s eyes lit up.
“Thank you so much, Morrick!” the dark-haired woman said in a cheery tone. “Now I can finish preparing the meat to smoke. I’m sure we’re all ready to eat, though, and I cut the tenderloin into strips so we could all grill our own.”
“Would you like me to keep holding Roza for you while you eat?” Penelope asked Nissa in a hopeful voice.
“Only if you want to,” the blonde gnome replied. “I’m used to eating one-handed, and I can put her in my sling.”
“Does she eat meat?” the naiad wondered.
“It would be her first time,” Nissa explained. “Gnomes don’t usually fare too well with hunting on account of our size, so this is a particularly special meal for us.”
“Oh, I suppose you don’t want her belly to hurt.” Penelope pursed her lips. “Can I give her anything else?”
“She mostly drinks milk, but we brought some berries, and she likes those,” the young gnome woman suggested.
I tried not to be totally grossed out by the thought of gnome milk.
“You really seem to like that baby, don’t you, Penelope?” Nicola asked the naiad with her dark eyebrows raised.
“Yes, I have always loved babies,” the naiad said as she gave the brunette a strange look. “I grew up in an orphanage, remember? I cared for several of
the younger children while I was there.”
“I had many younger siblings,” Aleia laughed. “I changed so many diapers, I’m not sure I ever want to hold a baby again.”
“Well, that means more time for me and sweet baby Roza to spend together,” Penelope said as she smiled and kissed the baby on the top of her head.
“Good cover about the orphanage,” I told the naiad while I inwardly smiled. “But I think Nicola is starting to suspect something.”
Penelope glanced over at Nicola, but the brunette was distracted by talking to Wilfrim. The naiad couldn’t discuss this with me right now, so she just looked down at the ground as she tried not to call more attention to herself.
I wished she wouldn’t, though. I knew Penelope was entitled to handle things how she liked, but seeing her so happy made me just as happy, and I preferred to have my beautiful naiad blushing proudly rather than ducking her head.
Partially because I did want the other women to start thinking about bearing me children.
Aleia placed skewered cherry tomatoes and bell peppers on the grate, and Nicola passed out meat to everyone. Then they all began cooking their food over the flames with hungry looks on their faces, and my followers smiled with pride at their content guests.
“Lorifer, Olwin!” Nissa called out to her other two children. “You’re going to need to come eat soon!”
A girl of about ten and a boy of around six were playing tag around the garden, and both gnome children reluctantly stumbled to a stop. Both siblings had bright orange hair and weren’t wearing caps, and the older sister’s hair was twisted into two long braids that were messy from running around so much.
“But I’m playing, Mother,” the little boy whined. “I don’t want to sit down.”
“Olwin, you come over here right this minute,” the blonde gnome said in a firm voice. “I don’t want to hear any complaining.”
“Yes, Mother,” the little boy sulked.
The sister, Lorifer, promptly obeyed her mother’s wishes, and Olwin shuffled behind her while the two children came and sat down next to Nissa. Then their mother put her arms around the pair’s shoulders, and she pulled them into a big hug.
“So, how are things around your camp?” Wilfrim asked the women. The old gnome usually flirted with the much younger priestesses, but he seemed to be behaving himself this afternoon.
“Things are so wonderful.” Penelope smiled. “Our lord provides for us, and we have nothing to worry about.”
“So, you feel safe?” the old man asked.
“Yes, Jack always protects us,” Aleia interjected, and even Nicola nodded. “We had an encounter with this cougar last night, and our heavenly master told us of the beast’s presence and how to handle the fight.”
“You women are very strong,” Wilfrim said with wide, impressed eyes. “I watched you in the fight with the trolls, and I can see it now, as well. I see your weapons over there, too, but is there anything else we can provide you? A sword, perhaps?”
“I would love a sword,” Nicola said quickly. “I would really, really love that.”
“Oh, a real fighter, eh?” the old gnomish man chuckled. “Well, my son can teach you the basics of swordplay if you like.”
“Could you really?” the brunette asked, and she turned an excited look toward Balabar. “Learning to sword fight has always been one of my dreams.”
“I suppose I could do that.” A hint of a smile actually cracked the normally-somber Balabar’s face, and the young man pulled his meat off the flames and waved it around in the air to cool it. “Don’t let my father act like he can’t wield a sword, though. Or my mother, for that matter.”
“I think you’re forgetting someone, Balabar,” Elowise laughed.
“Oh, and my wife, of course!” The young gnomish man blushed. “Sorry, sweetheart.”
“It’s fine,” Nissa sniffed, but her voice sounded a little strained.
I wondered what that was about.
“Gnomes are taught the basics of sword fighting from the time they are very young,” Wilfrim explained. “Even the children here already have weapons of their own.”
“That’s so wonderful,” Nicola said as she gazed at the gnome with her dark eyes open wide.
“Is there anything else you need besides a sword?” Elowise asked. “The cougar is delicious, by the way. I think it tastes like wild boar.”
“Well, we’re not just going to ask for free things,” Nicola told the gnomes. “You’ve already been so generous with us, and there are things we would like, but we must pay you with some of the smoked meat we’re about to cook. I insist.”
“We accept,” Wilfrim said with a nod. “Now tell me, what are you looking for?”
“You forgot to ask them about the cougar skin,” I reminded the priestesses.
“We were hoping you might have the tools to preserve this cougar’s hide,” Nicola said in a hesitant voice. “It’s so beautiful, and we would hate to waste it.”
“Well, you’re in luck!” the old gnome man cried out. “We can do that. Just let us take it home with us, and we’ll work on it for you. Is there anything else?”
“No offense meant, miss, but it tastes like you need some spices,” Balabar cut in, and Nissa gasped.
“Balabar, why would you say such a thing?” the blonde gnome asked and knocked her husband on the shoulder. Then she turned to the priestesses with an apologetic expression. “I am so sorry about that.”
“Don’t be, it’s true,” Aleia laughed lightly. “We do need spices, and we’d be very grateful if you have any to spare.”
“We wanted to start a garden, so I was also hoping for some seeds…” Penelope trailed off. “But I don’t wish to ask for too much, of course. Anything you can offer is wonderful,”
“It’s quite alright, my dear,” Elowise chuckled. “You’re our neighbors and our friends, and it’s clear you’re just starting to establish your camp.”
“With the help of Jack, of course,” the blue woman clarified. “So, it’s not as hard for us as if we were alone, but I hope the meat we give you will be enough to repay you for now.”
“That’ll be fine, sweetie,” the old woman assured her. “What are you going to store your smoked meat in? I have a big pot with a lid that seals.”
“That would be wonderful,” Penelope said with deep gratitude. “Thank you so much, Elowise. I am grateful and honored to call you my friends.”
“Us too,” Nissa chimed in.
I was pleased to see how gracious my followers were, and I hoped this meant our resources would be increasing around here. As much as I wanted to provide everything for the women, there wasn’t a lot I could do without a body, and the gnomes seemed like good company to keep. The group enjoyed the rest of their meal and chatted kindly with the women for a while longer, but then the gnomes stretched their stubby arms, patted their bellies, and got to their feet.
“You’ve been more than hospitable,” Wilfrim told the women, “but the sun is starting to go down. I think we should make our way back down the road for the evening, but I hope we will all see each other again soon.”
“Hold on a minute,” Nicola interjected. “Wilfrim, we have so much raw meat left. Would you like to take some of it? It will be so hard for us to smoke it all, and I’d hate to see any of it go bad. We’ll still give you some of the smoked meat as well, of course.”
“That’s very kind of you!” The old gnome man licked his lips and scratched his head. “Elowise, what do you think?”
“You girls are so wonderful,” the gray-haired gnome woman said with misty eyes. “Sharing your bounty with us is so kind. Yes, of course we would love the meat. I’ll cook it up as soon as we get back to our camp.”
“We’re so happy to share.” Penelope smiled at the old woman. “You can use the pot you brought the fruits and vegetables in to carry some of it.”
“But when should we bring you some of our smoked fare?” Nicola asked the gnomes. “Would you like u
s to come see you tomorrow night?”
“Oh, yes, that is a good idea,” the old man said.
“And we also need to take the cougar hide,” Elowise chimed in as she poked her husband in the ribs. “Balabar, Wilfrim, go fetch that for me. And girls, we’ll give you more supplies tomorrow when you pick up the meat.”
“Yes, thank you so much for your kindness, and for coming, and for bringing us food,” Nicola said, and the tall brunette stooped to try and hug Elowise. She was able to squeeze the gnome around her shoulders at least, and the tiny woman let out a tittering laugh as she hugged her back.
“I suppose I’ll give you Roza,” Penelope pouted, and she held the baby out to Nissa. “Can you come back soon?”
“Of course, and thank you for helping me with her,” the blonde gnome relied. “I got to eat with two hands for once!”
“I just adore her,” the naiad sighed in a dreamy voice. “I would care for her any time. Any time at all!”
“I suppose we’ll see you tomorrow,” Wilfrim called out to the priestesses as he led his family out of the garden.
“Good bye!” the women called back in unison.
“Nice job hosting,” I praised the priestesses. “I’m a little surprised by how much they’re willing to give you.”
“A sword…” Nicola breathed with wide eyes. “I can’t believe it.”
“Yes, that is wonderful,” Penelope chimed in as she laid down on the grass and put her head down on her arm. “And the seeds. Could you believe Balabar said that about the spices, though? I would have held my tongue if I were a guest, but I suppose it all worked out.”
“I’m just shocked he agreed to teach me about swordplay,” Nicola chuckled. “I was beginning to wonder if he was a complete jerk.”
“Understandable,” I allowed. “He’s a little bit of a douche when he wants to be.”
The priestess’ exchanged bewildered glances, and I couldn’t help snickering to myself.
“What did you call him?” Penelope asked with a tentative smile. “It sounds… dirty.”
“It is,” I admitted. “Certainly not very godly. Pretend you never heard it.”