by Holly Jaymes
20
The Possibility of Paradise
Pax
Today was one of the best days of my life. I started the day indulging in Victoria’s luscious body. I had a screaming great time tubing. Going out with her for hot chocolate felt like a real date. We were in this marriage by accident and having to prolong it for my image, but sometimes what was between us felt real. The fact that I’d been so jealous when I saw that photo of her with her marketing guy proved I was more emotionally invested in this relationship than I’d realized. She’d been deeply hurt by my reaction, which could suggest she was emotionally involved too. I knew she cared about me. I knew we were good friends, but did she feel more? Or was this just friends with benefits?
At the coffee joint, talking to Mason and Willa had me thinking about how they’d overcome their families’ objections to be together. In our case, the only issue was Lily. My father didn’t seem bothered by my being with Victoria. Victoria’s sister didn’t seem bothered by me. I couldn’t imagine why her parents would be. My mother and her mother were long-time friends.
The problem was, I didn’t fully understand Lily’s objection. Did she think it was creepy? Was she jealous? Did she think I wasn’t good enough for Victoria? Maybe she was worried what would happen if it didn’t work out between us.
As much as I wanted to appease my sister, I resented her interference. I’d spent the last six years trying to forget Victoria, but the minute I saw her again at the wedding, I knew she was as deeply ingrained in me as she had been back then. Today, even more so. The truth was, I was pretty sure I was in love with her. I wondered how she’d feel if I told her that? Did she feel the same?
Victoria had told the woman at the café that I’d be going back to England soon. I felt like she was saying that to get me out of having to say no to the Winterfest event, but she wasn’t wrong. As much as I was enjoying being with Victoria in Eden Lake, soon I’d need to return home. She and I needed to part and go on with our lives.
Or did we? Surely there was a way to make this work. The problem wasn’t just Lily. It was also the fact that we lived a world apart. Would she move to England if I asked her? Was I willing to return to the States? Did she or I have to give up parts of our lives to be together and were we willing to do that?
I remembered my father saying how much he and my mother loved each other, but they loved their careers more. In many ways, Lily and Wyatt were like my parents; the model and the lawman. But it seemed like they’d make it work. Then again, Lily wasn’t modeling anymore. She was starting a business and wouldn’t need to travel. She’d found a life here in this little mountain town.
All this was running through my brain as I sat in the hot tub waiting for Victoria to take care of some business. She interrupted my thoughts when she appeared with a bottle of wine and two glasses.
“You look lonely out here,” she said, putting the wine and glasses on the ledge as she shucked off her robe, revealing her naked body. Her nipples puckered at the cold and my mouth watered to suck them. Instead, I poured the wine.
“Thanks for keeping me company,” I said, handing her a glass once she’d joined me in the tub.
She held up the glass. “Cheers.”
I reached over and clinked my glass with hers. “Cheers.”
She sipped and then sighed. “It was a lovely day.”
I nodded, lost in the beauty of her. Her hair was scooped up on her head with a few loose tendrils loose around her face. Her blue eyes shone with happiness. Her smile was lovely. Her creamy shoulders were damp from the steam and water. I wanted to run my lips over them.
“You looked lost in thought when I got out here. Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Everything is great.” I wanted to tell her all that was swelling in my heart, but I couldn’t seem to form the words. Or more accurately, I couldn’t conjure the courage. “How are things at work?”
She sighed. “Good. Really good, actually. You’re my good luck charm, Pax.”
I smiled. “Happy to help. It’s the least I can do, considering all you’re doing for me.”
“I’m happy to do it.” She looked down into her wine. “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you again.”
“Me too.”
She looked up, her smile was sweet yet vulnerable. “Really?”
“Yes, really. You don’t think I’ve been enjoying my time with you?”
“It’s not that,” she said, shifting like she was uncomfortable. “I just… Well, your life is on hold. More than mine is. You’re probably eager to get back home.”
My gut clenched and I sipped my wine to hide my reaction to leaving her.
She sucked in a breath like she was shoring up her courage. “I know you and Dane have this all-planned marriage thing worked out. We’ll go back to our lives and like so many celebrity marriages, we’ll drift apart.”
I swallowed hard as I nodded.
She looked at me, biting her lip. Then she looked down. “Is there a hurry for that?”
My heart stuttered in my chest. Was she asking me to stay longer? “We both have commitments.”
“Yes, right. Of course.”
“I don’t want to inconvenience you more than I have.”
She shook her head. “I’m not inconvenienced. If anything, it’s been the opposite. But I know you have a tour coming up in a few months and…a life in England.”
I watched her. The words to ask her to come with me hung on my lips, but couldn’t come out. Instead I put my wine aside and moved across the hot tub.
“Let’s make the best of the time we have.”
She smiled but there was a sadness to it. “Yes.” She looped her hands around my neck and kissed me. There were no words then. Just soft caresses. Lovely passionate kisses. Our bodies coming together in perfect harmony.
Later that night, I lay in bed with her sleeping tucked beside me. It felt like fucking perfection, and I was pissed that I wouldn’t be able to keep this or keep her.
I replayed our conversation and I wondered if she was trying to tell me she cared for me too. She didn’t ask me to stay. She didn’t tell me she loved me. But she’d definitely revealed more than I had. The question was, was I reading it right? Did I take a chance that she was feeling what I was feeling? Did I risk my heart and stand up to Lily?
The next day, I woke early and let Victoria sleep. I left her a note that I was taking a walk. It seemed amazing that I could still need to think about everything after I’d spent all night trying to sort out my feelings and my courage. I knew what I wanted, but I wasn’t sure how to get it.
So I dressed warmly and set out on a walk along the lake. The air was cold, but the sky was clear as the sun started to light up the lake. It was amazingly beautiful. I realized I could be perfectly content to wake up to this every day; Victoria in my arms and the beauty of Eden Lake. No wonder Tucker still had a place out here. He was a guy that could have a mansion anywhere, but he’d settled here. He’d found a woman he adored and was making a life in this small slice of paradise. I’d found a woman I adored. Would she want to make a life in a small slice of paradise with me?
21
Odd Man Out
Victoria
I rolled over and found an empty spot where Pax had been. I lifted my head and looked around the room. The house was quiet. I noticed a note on the bedside table.
“Enjoy your rest, Sleeping Beauty. You earned it. I’m going to take a walk. How about pancakes when I get back? XO”
I sighed, feeling so completely content. Well, mostly content. I’d botched my attempt to tell him how I was feeling. Several times the words, I love you, hung on the end of my tongue but were never uttered. I’d wanted to ask him to stay. To draw out our marriage longer. Maybe for forever. But I didn’t have the courage to be vulnerable. I couldn’t bear it if he said no. I accepted what he could give me now, for as long as he could give it.
I got out of bed, took a quick shower, and then slipped on a pair of
jeans and t-shirt. I headed out to the kitchen and smiled when I saw he’d brewed coffee. I poured myself a cup and took it to the sliding glass doors and looked out over the lake. It was going to be another clear, sunny day.
A knock at the door interrupted my moment. I wondered if Pax accidentally locked himself out. I set my cup down on the little desk that made my makeshift office and headed to the door.
“Lose your key-” My words abruptly stopped as I stared at Lily’s angry face.
Her eyes narrowed into slits. “You just had to do it, didn’t you?”
“Lily.” I swallowed hard. I stepped aside as she stormed into the cabin.
“Is he here?”
“He’s on a walk.” I followed her to the living area, working to get my bearings back. It was time I found out what her problem was. “I didn’t know you were back. How was the honeymoon?”
She whirled on me. “What were you thinking, getting married in Vegas? Did you get him drunk on purpose? Seriously, Victoria, of all your stunts, I never imagined you’d dupe my brother into marrying you.”
Growing up, I’d pulled a few stunts mostly for fun and most were to make my mother crazy. But none were really about duping people. I found my own anger. “That’s not what happened, Lily.”
“Oh really? I know he didn’t marry you on purpose. I know this is all fake.”
I found my coffee, wishing it was something stronger. But I worked to be relaxed and unfazed by her outburst.
“It was an accident. We were with another couple that was getting married and she thought she saw something in me and Pax-”
“Something? So, you were sleeping with him again? At my wedding?”
I looked down. “No. Lily. I didn’t.”
“You were seen kissing him.”
I looked at her and was going to correct her in that Pax kissed me, but what was the use? “I was in Vegas for a business deal. He was there to see the same person. We all went to dinner-” n
“And ended up married, by accident?” She shook her head. “You expect me to believe that?”
My hackles rose. “Yes, Lily I do. In the same way that I believed you weren’t sleeping with Trask Holloway. I didn’t even have to ask you about it. I just knew because you’re my friend and I know you.”
“I know you too, Victoria. I know you set your sights on my brother ten years ago and you’ve never let go.”
“That’s not true, but even if it was, what is your problem with my being with Pax?”
She glared at me in a “you know why” expression, but I was stumped.
“He’s my brother. You’re my friend. You just don’t.”
I was beginning to wonder if I was her friend. She wasn’t being very friendly. “Based on that explanation, I should be miffed that you’ve become friends with my sister, because she’s my sister and you’re my friend.”
“I’m not sleeping with her.”
“So you’re against me having sex with Pax.” I sought to clarify.
“Are you using him?”
I gaped. “What?”
“Oh please. Your social influence has grown by over a million since you ‘accidentally’ married Pax. I bet your sales are through the roof. And that deal with Lisbeth, how convenient to have Pax around to make it work.”
I staggered back, staring at her and wondering what had happened to my friend. This wasn’t the woman I’d spent the last decade laughing and shopping and confiding with.
“I notice you’re not denying it.”
“I’m shocked at what you’re accusing me of. What is wrong with you?”
She flinched, the first sign that maybe she knew she was off her rocker. Maybe it was hormones from the baby.
“What are you doing here, Lily?” I whipped around to Pax’s voice. Where’d he come from?
“I want to know what’s going on,” she demanded.
“First, who I sleep with is none of your business. Second, it was all an accident.”
My gut clenched to hear him say that because it was reminiscent of six years ago, when he told her I was a mistake. But I’d told her the marriage was an accident, so he was supporting my story. Finally, he was on my side.
“How do you accidentally get married, Pax? Even in Vegas you need to get a license. All that wake up married is for romcoms, not real life,” she said, then turned to me. “Did you get Lisbeth to help? The two of you cooked up a scheme to get her deal and your deal as well?”
“You’re being ridiculous.” I looked to both of them, but Pax’s expression wasn’t supportive of me. His brows knitted as if he was considering her accusation.
“Last night, you tried to get me to stay to draw out this fake marriage. Was that for your business?” His tone was flat.
“No.” I looked between them both, wondering what had happened to the two people, outside of my family, that I loved the most. “You know that’s not true.” I forced myself to think. It was time for me to stop being reactive and start asserting myself.
I pointed at Pax. “I had no idea that you were going to be in Vegas. But you knew I would be because I told you when YOU kissed me by the lake. You’re the one that invited yourself to my dinner with Lisbeth. It was Dane who told you to babysit her-”
“You didn’t talk her out of the marriage,” he said.
“Neither did you!” I couldn’t believe what was happening.
“What was the meeting with your marketing guy about. Were you finding a way to use this marriage?” Pax stepped further in the room, but not toward me.
“Oh come on Pax, this fake marriage was YOUR idea. Your record label didn’t want to ruin your image. You were using me, remember?” I turned to Lily. “You know, I expected this from him. He did this same thing six years ago when you got all uppity. It was why I tried to avoid him at your wedding. It’s why I didn’t tell you anything when he played Victoria’s song...that’s right, my song, the one he wrote for me six years ago, while you walked up the aisle.”
Her eyes shot to Pax. “Is that true?”
His jaw clenched.
“But you, Lily. You’ve had no better friend than me. Who stuck up for you when that whole thing with Trask happened? Who drove freaking hours and hours to bring you a pregnancy test? Who is prepared to punch any journalist in the face who asks if your baby is Trask’s when they find out Wyatt was shooting blanks.”
She jerked. “You wouldn’t.”
“That’s the point, Lily! I wouldn’t because I know you and I know it’s not true. All this time, I thought we were friends. I thought you wore my makeup to support me. But it was all fake. You’re not my friend.”
I shook my head expecting her to respond. She didn’t look as confident in her assertions as before, but she didn’t take it back either.
“There is something really wrong with you two. Maybe it’s a twin thing or something. But if this is what happens when you two are together, heaven help Wyatt if Pax sticks around.” I grabbed my purse.
“Where are you going?” Pax asked.
“Away from here. I’m done. Today we start the drift apart phase of our marriage.” I headed to the door.
I hurried to my car. Thankfully, Lily’s wasn’t blocking my way. Chances were, I’d have rammed it if it was.
I turned the key and roared out of Pine Rest as fast as I could. Tears made it hard to concentrate. I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it back to Los Angeles. So, I went to the one place I knew, without a doubt, I could safely fall.
I made it to the condo complex and staggered up the stairs. I was weeping as I knocked on the door.
“Victoria?” Allie said when she opened the door. “Oh god, what’s wrong?” She reached out and pulled me in, holding me close. She led me to the couch, and sat with me, rocking me without saying anything. It was exactly what I needed to get myself regrouped.
Finally, I pulled away and sagged back on the couch.
“I’ve got vodka.”
It was early, but what the hell. “That
would be nice.”
She left and came back with a glass that had a double shot. She had orange juice in her glass. “I’ll share my OJ with you if you want, or you can have it straight.”
“Straight is fine.” Maybe it would burn away the feelings of betrayal.
She sat next to me again. “I’m going to guess something happened with Pax. Or maybe Lily? Wyatt called last night so I know they’re back.”
“She showed up this morning.” I looked at Allie. “Did you know Lily thought I was using her?”
“What? No. How?”
“For my business. She accused me of that and said that’s what I was doing with Pax. Maybe she’s possessed or something because I didn't recognize her at all.”
“She says you used her and him? Really?”
I nodded.
“But this marriage thing was for him. To protect his reputation,” she said.
“Yep.”
“Surely he explained that.”
I shook my head, unable to verbalize as tears threatened again.
“No? What did he do?” Allie reached over and rubbed my back.
“First he said it was a mistake, then he asked me if what Lily was implying was true. I mean, I have seen my social following and sales grow, but-”
“I can’t believe them.” Allie sat back next to me. “What is their problem? You’ve been so good to them and they treat you like this?” She turned her head to me. “I’m so sorry, Victoria.”
I leaned over and dropped my head on her shoulder.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
“I’m going home when I feel I can make the drive.”
She tugged me close. “You’ll stay here tonight. Josh is working anyway. You can help me look at baby stuff online.”
I wiped my face, glad I hadn’t put on makeup that would have been running all over.
“I bet Mom and Dad have a good lawyer to refer to you.” Allie patted my shoulder.
I tipped my head up to her. “For what?”