Rayna and Mina kissed Laera’s forehead then joined Silver, Channon, and Roxen outside the den. Rayna explained what Laera had said.
Mina bit her lip. “At least we know they’re alive, right? Or at least they were.”
“Lonian and Kellan, those were the men who helped you three? The Sylrian Alpha and his nephew?” Roxen asked.
“Yes, and Garrison is the monster that tortured Rayna.” Channon’s eyes narrowed to their lupine shape.
Rayna squeezed Channon’s hand, mostly to reassure herself. She wanted to help the Sylrians. She owed Kellan and Lonian. More than that, she cared about them, and their people. She could not abandon them. But what could she do? Months earlier, Rayna would not have bothered to agonize over plans and details. Knowing that innocents were in danger would have been enough to spur her to action, regardless of the risks. But she'd learned the steep cost of recklessness. She leaned into Channon and he wrapped his arms around her. Two instincts warred within Rayna, the need to help those in peril, and the need to not repeat her past mistakes.
“What am I going to do?” she whispered.
“Rayna,” said Silver, “I need to tell you something.”
Something in Silver's tone of voice needled at Rayna's mind. Her aunt sounded ashamed. “What is it?”
“Maenor's Regent, Markus Seperun, sent me a message a month ago.” Silver swallowed. “He'd been informed by his spies in Halmstead that Lonian Kemar and two dozen other Sylrians had been captured.”
“You knew?” Heat crashed through Rayna's veins. “You've known for a month and you didn't tell me?” Suddenly, what Rayna could remember of Lumae's fragmented commands made sense. Help him, the Goddess had said as Kellan's face appeared. The Gods were telling her to save the Sylrians. It was the only explanation.
Roxen bunched his eyebrows. “Have you kept this a secret from all of us, Alphena?”
“Only the other Den Alphen know.” Silver led them to a private, sassafras-ringed clearing behind the healers' dens. “We all agreed it was best to keep the news quiet. But now that Laera is here, I understand that isn't possible.”
“A month,” Rayna repeated. “You know they're my friends. How could you keep this from me?” She pulled out of Channon's hold. “What gives you the right?”
“As your guardian and your Alphena, I have every right to keep you safe,” Silver said.
“But not to lie to me! To us!” She gestured to Roxen, Channon, and Mina.
“I didn't lie. I held back the truth.”
Rayna ground her teeth. Anger sparked in her core—anger at her aunt for hiding something so critical from her, and at herself for making the same justification for not telling Channon about her dreams. “You should have told me,” Rayna whispered.
“I'm sorry.” Silver reached toward her.
Rayna recoiled.
Silver dropped her hand. “I was afraid.”
“Of what?” Rayna spat.
Channon answered instead. “Of what you would do if you found out. Am I right, Alphena?”
Silver nodded. “I can't lose you, Rayna. Not after everything we lost last winter.”
Rayna closed her eyes. “I understand, but shouldn't it be my choice what I do?”
“I know this is hard,” Silver said. “That you care about them a great deal, but what can you do? Halmstead is leagues away from here, and going into the Outers? Into the heart of the Kyrean Republic? That’s suicide.”
Channon agreed. “It’s too dangerous.”
“But they saved us.” Mina was uncharacteristically soft-spoken. “When Garrison captured us, Kellan and Lonian risked their lives for us, and we were strangers to them then.” She caught Rayna's gaze. From the thoughtful lines forming between Mina's eyebrows, it was clear she'd made the same connection to Rayna's dreams.
Roxen touched Mina’s shoulder, his lips drawn in a sympathetic frown.
Rayna blinked away tears. “Laera came to us. She had nowhere else to turn.”
“I understand that,” said Roxen. “But Silver’s right. I don't agree with keeping this a secret, but it’s not possible to help them.”
“They wouldn’t want you to die for them,” Channon added. “You don't even know if any of the Sylrians are still alive.”
“But I do know.” Kellan’s face filled Rayna’s mind. She'd been dreaming of him for weeks now. It had to be a sign. But why would the message be so fuzzy, when before she'd spoken directly with Lumae and Alvo?
That said, she'd ignored her dreams before to disastrous consequences. Rayna felt caught in a web. Either way she turned, she was pinned. Either she ignore her better judgment and race headlong into the Kyrean Republic, or she ignored the dreams that had once allowed her to save her people from extinction, and Channon from a worse fate. Not to mention, abandon what was left of an entire culture.
“I've been dreaming of Sylrians. I didn't know why. Now I do.” She sighed. “I can’t let them die.”
“Me neither.” Mina took Rayna’s hand.
“Rayna—” Silver reached toward her niece.
“What are you going to do Alphena, forbid me?” Rayna’s eyes met Silver’s. “You've already lied, why not trap me here, too?”
“No, Rayna, no,” Silver said. “You’re the only family I have left. I’m not forbidding you. I’m asking you: please don’t do this. I can’t lose you, too.” Silver shook, her pale green eyes glistened with tears.
Despite her anger, Rayna embraced her aunt. She'd lost her parents and her uncle, but that also meant that Silver had lost her sister and her mate. “I love you, too, Silver. I don’t know what the right path is. I just need you to give me space to find it.”
Silver pulled away, still holding Rayna's hands. “You may not have been Bayne’s daughter by blood, but you’re just as stubborn.”
Rayna’s breath caught; that was the first time she'd heard Silver mention her departed mate’s name since his funeral.
“Please, don’t do anything yet. We’ll talk about this in the morning, all right? Roxen and I need to confer. I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you the truth earlier.”
Rayna nodded and Silver squeezed her shoulder before heading toward her den with Roxen. Not knowing where she was going, Rayna walked with Channon and Mina. They moved in silence for some time, passing between dens, by the fire pit, until they were on the path leading toward the true wolf dens. But the movement could not distract Rayna from her pounding head and the terrible decision that lay before her.
“Rayna.” Channon’s voice was quiet, but tension threaded it. “You can’t be considering a rescue. It’s impossible.”
“So was rescuing you.” Rayna regretted her words instantly.
Channon froze, his left hand gripping a slender beech tree. Rayna thought it might crack. “I can’t believe you,” Channon said. “Have you learned nothing from what happened with Rhael?”
Rayna’s regret melted into anger. “Of course I did! I’m not a fool, Channon. I just don’t have the luxury of being so cavalier about my friends' lives. Don’t you care at all about Lonian?” She intentionally left out the other Sylrian’s name.
“Both of you calm down!” Mina stepped between them, though with her shorter stature, Rayna and Channon still saw each other over Mina's mass of curly hair.
Channon ignored Mina. “Yes. I care about Lonian. I even care about that fool, Kellan. He saved your life. None of us would be here without them. But that doesn’t mean we need to risk our lives trying to save them.”
“I never said you should risk your life, Channon. I never said I would, just that I have to consider my options! It isn't just about them, either. Silver said dozens of Sylrians were captured.”
Channon barked a humorless laugh. “Do you expect me to watch while you run off on a nearly impossible mission? Do you think I care so little for you?” He dropped his arm, circumvented Mina, and advanced on Rayna. “I refuse, Rayna. I refuse to stand by and let you take such a foolish risk.”
“You have no say in what
I do.” Rayna rose to her full height and stared him down. Unlike Mina, she had no problem meeting him eye-to-eye. “Why can’t you accept this is my decision?”
“It’s not just your life at stake, Rayna. You’ve been wrong before.” He clenched his fists. Not long ago, he'd held her with such tenderness, and now he looked at her as if she were an enemy, someone he could intimidate into seeing the world his way.
But Channon should have known better.
“Yes. I made a mistake when I agreed to marry Rhael. You think I’m making the same kind of rash decision now, but you don’t understand. My dreams are telling me I need to do something. I can’t ignore my visions, not when it took accepting them to save you.” Rayna shoved him to the side, and he did not resist.
“Your dreams?” He scoffed. “You’ve barely spoken of them for weeks, and now, all of a sudden, they’re telling you to save the Sylrians? How convenient.”
“She may not have mentioned them to you, Channon.” Mina’s voice was ice. “But that doesn’t mean she hasn’t been having them.”
Rayna winced as she continued down the trail. She wished Mina had not said that.
“What?” Channon started after her. “What is she talking about?”
She turned around, feeling suddenly defensive. After how she'd felt when Silver's omission had been revealed, she understood how selfish she'd been to keep this secret from Channon. “My dreams have been fractured recently, hard to understand, but—”
“There you have it,” Channon growled. “You don’t know what they mean. You’re twisting them to fit what you want them to say.”
“Maybe I am!” Rayna shouted. A pheasant fled a nearby juniper bush. “But it’s for me to decide, not you. So you can either help me, or get out of my way.”
Mina crossed her arms behind him, but said nothing.
Channon deflated. “I’m trying to help you,” he whispered. “You just can’t see it.” With that, he shifted into a golden wolf and disappeared into the woods.
Rayna went to follow, but Mina stopped her. “Give him time.”
Rayna sighed. “Channon, Silver, and Roxen don’t trust me. They’re afraid I’m going to make a foolish decision like when I accepted Rhael’s proposal. They haven’t forgiven me for that, and I don’t blame them.”
“Wolfie.” Mina took her hand and they both sat on a log. “That’s not true. They care about you. They love you and don’t want to lose you. That doesn’t mean they don’t trust you. But it also doesn’t excuse Channon acting like that. I haven’t seen him act so surly since, well…”
“Since we were with Kellan.”
She shrugged. “I’m not saying it’s all jealousy. He’s right to be concerned—we are contemplating an insane idea after all. But, Channon's dislike may be playing a role here.”
Rayna scratched at the mossy bark. “You didn’t help by bringing up that I’ve told you about my dreams, but not him.”
Mina smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. Heat of the moment.”
“I know. And I think it does come down to my dreams. I don’t know why they’re so fuzzy now—maybe I’m losing my touch. But it can’t be a coincidence that I’ve been seeing the Sylrians, and now this happens.”
“Well.” Mina bit her lip. “Couldn’t it, though?”
“What?” Mina’s apparent shift in opinion startled Rayna.
“You haven’t been seeing the Sylrians, plural. You’ve only dreamed of Kellan.”
“Your point?”
“I’m saying, as we consider our options here, we need to be sure these dreams are actually visions. You do have normal dreams sometimes, too, right?”
“Sure,” said Rayna, “but I can tell the difference.”
“Maybe, but you said yourself you’ve been having difficulty remembering and interpreting your dreams lately. Maybe it’s because they aren’t visions, but normal dreams. Have you considered that you’re dreaming of Kellan for a reason more mundane than your seer abilities?”
Rayna's throat constricted as though she'd swallowed cold water. “If you’re suggesting what I think you are, you of all people should know it isn’t possible. I’m loyal to Channon. I know we haven’t taken the next step yet, but he’s the only one that I care for in that way.”
“I know!” Mina’s river-water eyes widened. “I think our cultural differences are muddling communication.” She pursed her lips, thinking. “I know you don’t love Kellan, who would?” She half-smiled. “I’m not questioning your loyalty to Channon, either. But, love isn’t the only power that can exist between two people.”
“I care about Kellan. Despite his faults, he’s my friend. So is Lonian. What’s your point?”
“Right, but your friendship with Kellan is different than your relationship with Lonian, or with me, isn’t it? I know you don’t love Kellan, but that doesn’t preclude an attraction. It’s human nature, not a reflection on your devotion to Channon.”
“It may be human nature, but it’s not Fenearen.” Rayna stood. “I’m not dreaming of Kellan because of some misplaced attraction. There’s a reason why I’m seeing him. I know it.”
Mina raised her hands in surrender. “I believe you. I just wanted to ensure you were certain. But since you are, where does that leave us? You think you’re meant to rescue the Sylrians, but that means we’ll have to travel to Halmstead—the Kyrean capital and seat of the Council. We barely escaped Terayan last time. Can we do it again?”
“We?” Rayna tried to smile, but all she saw was the pain and anger she'd put on Channon’s face.
“Oh come on. Don’t act surprised.” Mina winked.
Rayna wrapped her arms around her friend. “I know it’s going to be hard, but I think I—we—need to try.”
“In that case, we better start putting provisions together.” Mina linked arms with Rayna and started for the densite.
“Silver won’t approve.” Rayna's voice dropped to a whisper. “I know she said she'd give me time to decide, but if we wait until morning, she’ll never let us go. It's clear from her lying that she'll do anything to keep me here.” A sour taste coated Rayna’s tongue. She hated to suggest going behind her aunt’s back, but they could not risk it, not after Silver had hidden the truth from them.
Mina put her finger to her lips. “Then we won’t wait. It's you and me, Wolfie. Kellan and Lonian saved us from Garrison. It’s only fair we’re the ones to help them and their people now.”
Channon returned to the densite with an exhausted body, but the anger and frustration that had sent him tearing through the forests raged on in his mind. He and Rayna had almost lost everything when she'd agreed to marry Rhael. And now here she was, about to do something equally reckless. After everything that they'd been through—the war, the loss, the misery—their lives had started to return to normal. They had begun to re-visit their feelings for one another. But Rayna was willing to give all of that up, for Kellan.
Rayna was right that Channon had no say in her actions, but there was someone who did. All he had to do was convince Silver to make the right decision. He strode through the entrance to Silver's den.
“You know it is rather impertinent to enter my den without permission, Channon,” Silver said. She did not look up from the blade she sharpened.
He inclined his head. “Sorry, Alphena. I find it difficult to control myself when Rayna is considering such an insane plan.”
“It would behoove you to learn some composure. It also might do you good to remember this is my niece you’re talking about.” Silver stood and sheathed the dagger.
“I know, Alphena. That’s why I came to you. You care about Rayna as much as I do. You can’t let her make this mistake any more than I could.”
“Rayna is eighteen winters old now—like you. In the eyes of our country she gained the right to make her own choices three years ago.”
“Not if those decisions endanger Fenear. Do you think the Kyreans will let it go if they find a Fenearen in their capital?”
“A
nd what do you expect them to do? Come after us?” Silver shook her head. “The Kyreans were too scared to attack in force when the Maenorens were their allies.”
Channon stared at her, sorting through his thoughts. Maybe Silver was right, but even if the Kyreans did not retaliate against Fenear, Rayna would never succeed in rescuing the Sylrians. If she went, she would die. Rayna was the strongest person he knew, but he'd seen what the Councilor was capable of. When they'd crossed paths with Terayan, he nearly drowned Rayna in her own blood. She could not risk going against him again. Silver had to understand that.
Silver sighed. “That said, I certainly do not support Rayna’s plan, either. She's going to kill herself and Mina if she doesn’t start thinking with her head, instead of her heart. I’m letting Rayna sleep on it. Hopefully, when I tell her my decision tomorrow, she'll have calmed down enough to accept it.”
“And you don't think you should post guards on her den to make sure she waits for your decision?”
Silver paused. “I've already violated my niece's trust once tonight.” She shook her head. “I have to show Rayna I trust her if I want her to ever trust me again. I expect you to do the same. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a number of letters to write.”
“Good night.” Channon ducked out of the den. He tried to relax as he walked back home, but no matter what he did, the anger did not subside. Why would Rayna not listen to him? Why did she not trust him? He wanted to protect her. She wouldn't let him.
Worse, Rayna wanted to save Kellan. He may have saved her life, but all Kellan wanted was to add her to his list of conquests. Yet, Rayna was willing to sacrifice herself for the chance of finding him.
Channon could not take it. His fist collided with a maple trunk. As the wood splintered around his knuckles, he ground in deeper. The pain, a familiar sensation, escalated. Blood and sap dripped down the bark. Channon bore his teeth as he pulled back for another strike.
A strong hand grabbed his wrist. “What are you doing?” Roxen stared down at Channon’s splintered knuckle.
“Nothing,” Channon growled as he shook his hand out.
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