I need a drink.
“What are we doing tonight?” I ask Tully as she walks into her room which I’ve barricaded myself inside just in case Noah happens to come home. Rumor has it, he’s racing again tonight, though I guess I’m happier to hear that then to find out that he and Rivers have disappeared again to get up to whatever shady shit they’re into. It still bugs me that I don’t know what it is, but I don’t think I want to know. I’m terrified of finding out that it’s something awful and my opinion of him might change.
Apparently, the news of having a baby has scared him shitless and he’s trying to do the respectable thing by getting cashed up to help support the baby. I don’t doubt Monica would be putting that burden on him rather than sharing the costs.
I have to commend him for it, but at the same time, I still can’t bring myself to be happy for him. Maybe when the hurt wears off I’ll reconsider. As for now, the fact that the race is on and I’m not there to see him kick ass…yeah, that kind of stings.
Tully’s face lights up like a damn Christmas tree. “Are you serious? You want to go out?” she practically roars. “I thought for sure we’d be holed up in here all night, listening through the wall, waiting for Noah to get home only to pretend you’re asleep when he walks in.”
I roll my eyes. “You and I both know that he doesn’t even like her,” I remind Tully. “He’ll be home as soon as the race is done and I want to be gone before then.”
“You’re probably right,” she chuckles. “What do you feel like? A crazy party or dinner and a movie?”
“What?” I laugh. “Sorry, I hadn’t realized we were dating.”
Tully rolls her eyes and throws a cushion at my face. “You’re such a dork. You know that’s not what I meant. I just assumed you wouldn’t be up for a wild party.”
I grin up at her. “A wild party is exactly what I need.”
“Wait, let’s just clarify here. By ‘wild party’ do you mean getting wasted, screwing a handful of guys on the dance floor and whoring out or do you mean sitting on a couch and watching the party as everyone whores out around us?”
“I don’t know about you, but I plan on being the one doing the whoring and drinking.”
“Oh, hell yeah,” she cheers, before racing across her room and throwing her closet doors open. “What are we wearing and who are you screwing?”
I climb off her bed and make my way across to her closet, knowing she only has one pair of ripped jeans that I’d actually consider wearing. The rest of her clothes consist of tiny little dresses that hardly cover my coochy.
I seriously doubt I’ll be screwing anyone tonight, but I’m more than happy to go in with the attitude that I will be, you know, it’s good for the soul. Be one with your inner skank, especially in times of severe lady taco drought.
If I’m honest with myself, there’s only one guy I want taking me for a test drive as I have a feeling that no one else would be able to compare. Maybe he’s some kind of beast between the sheets or maybe it’s the feelings I have for him that would make it so good. I don’t know, but either way it’s not going to happen now.
Time to pack my shit and move the hell on.
Realizing I haven’t answered Tully’s question, I reach into her closet and grab the ripped jeans off the hanger. “At this point, I’ll be getting dirty with anyone who shows me just the teeniest bit of attention.”
“Something tells me you’re full of shit. I think you’ll only be kissing someone if Noah happens to walk through the door.”
“What?” I gasp, feigning innocence. “That doesn’t sound like something I’d do.”
“Bullshit,” she laughs. “You can’t honestly tell me that if Monica shoved her tongue down his throat, you’d just sit back and be ok with it.”
“Hell no,” I boom out laughing. “I’d kiss you if I was desperate enough.”
Tully shakes her head as she drops down to grab a pair of heels to match the red dress she picked out. “Babe, you should kiss me anyway. I’m a fucking rock star with my tongue. You’re seriously missing out.”
“I’ll keep that in mind if I strike out with the guys,” I tell her, peeling off my shirt and replacing it with a black tank.
“Damn straight you will.”
An hour later, I feel like I’ve been waiting a lifetime for Tully to straighten her long dark hair, but hell, with that hair, sunkissed skin, green eyes, and red dress, she looks incredible. Maybe I might just have to kiss her after all.
I was ready ages ago. My look never takes long to perfect. I toss my hair around a bit, pull my jeans on, and add a little mascara. I finally feel like I can understand when guys in movies whine about their girlfriends taking forever to get ready. God save the man who ends up with Tully, though, we all know, or hope that it will be Rivers.
We walk out to the living room. The boys haven’t gotten home yet and thank God for that. I was hoping we could slip out without them questioning where the hell we're going. Shit, I don’t even know where we’re going, but that little fact doesn’t bother me. I trust Tully to show me a good night.
After shoving a handful of cash down her bra, Tully reaches for the door handle, only it opens just before she has a chance to grab it. We shuffle back to avoid being smacked in the face with the hardwood and not a moment later, Noah is standing right there in front of me, silently staring as Rivers looks up and down Tully’s body with a fierce appreciation.
Noah reluctantly tears his eyes from mine, finally allowing me to breathe before he snaps at his sister. “Where the hell do you think you’re going dressed like that?”
“Thought I’d go and get myself knocked up,” she smiles with a big ‘fuck you’ hidden behind her eyes. “Wouldn’t it be great? Our kids could grow up together just like I always wanted.”
Tully doesn’t allow him a chance to respond before she barges her way past Rivers and flies through the door. Rivers cuts in front of me and follows her out, not about to let her go to a party without his protection, even though we all know she can more than handle herself.
I go to follow them out the door, but Noah’s warm hand grips my elbow.
I turn back and watch him for a second, clearly struggling with whatever he needs to say. I wait a beat more and have never felt so disappointed at what comes out of his mouth. “Just… be careful, ok?”
No fight. No begging me not to go. No ‘I wish things were different.’
I pull my arm away, silently wishing he would have said something else, anything else. Hell, maybe even put up a fight, but I should have known. The guy is all about his twisted morals, wanting to be a family with his baby Mumma.
Shit, the thought has me turning away and heading for Rivers and Tully, even more desperate for that drink.
----------
“Hit me again,” I slur, slamming the shot glass back down on the table.
“You got it, dude,” Tully laughs as she grabs the bottle of pretty green stuff and fills up the little glass.
I throw it down the hatch and cringe at the burn before smiling at the sweet aftertaste. “Shit, that’s good,” I tell her, grabbing the green bottle off the table and walking away with it as Tully follows behind with a bottle of her own.
We dart away from Rivers who seems to be everywhere and find somewhere to dance. It’s not long before I’m losing myself in the music and doing my best to forget the shitty week that I’ve had.
I’m just about at the point of feeling good when a very familiar black jacket crosses through my vision.
Jackson Millington.
“Fuck,” I curse as the force of one thousand memories nearly knocks me off my feet.
Tully reaches out and steadies me. “What is it?” she questions alarmed.
I nod my head in his direction and Tully twists around to get a good look at my past, but what’s worse is Kaylah trailing behind him with her boyfriend, Jesse Ryder, the king of Broken Hill High.
“Oooooh,” she says, drawing it out. “Are you good? D
o you want to leave?”
“No,” I shake my head. “I need to forget,” I tell her, knowing I don’t need much more explanation than that, after all, she’s been the only person I’ve been able to vent to since it happened all those months ago. She knows just how hurt I was when Jackson left and she understands the torment I felt when Kaylah left right along with him.
I was all alone for months and seeing them here right now reminds me of everything I felt and everything I’ve been missing. I loved them both like family and that was torn away in the blink of an eye. I made one stupid mistake and it cost me dearly.
“Well then,” Tully grins, waving her hand around the room to showcase the selection of man meat in the room. “Take your pick.”
I look them over, not getting that turned on vibe from anyone. “I don’t know,” I tell her. “Who have you been with? Who’s good?”
“Geez, we’re not picking out used cars.”
“Aren’t we?”
“You sound like such a whore,” she laughs as she looks over our selection. “Honestly,” she says with a cringe. “Spencer is the only one worth getting your junk off for. He’s a shitty boyfriend, but the guy certainly knows his way around a vag, and fuck…his tongue. He knows how to use that too.”
“You sure?” I question, looking her over. “You won’t get weird if I hook up with him?”
“No,” she laughs, “Because I know you won’t go far. You might suck his dick, but you won’t let him inside the promised land. It’s not your style.”
“How do you know what my style is?” I ask, looking up and double checking that I haven’t been spotted by Kaylah or Jackson as I’m not quite sure I have what it takes to handle that right about now.
“I just do,” she tells me. “Now, fuck off and go get your knickers wet.”
Well, when she puts it like that…
I put on my best man-eating smile and try to get Noah off my mind which is easier said than done. I get my target in sight and beeline straight for him, despite the fact that he’s currently dancing with Candice, who’s grinding her ass back into him.
I catch his eye and as if every star in the universe was perfectly aligned, he drops his hands from her waist and steps around her like yesterday’s trash.
Candice shrieks her outrage, but she’s quickly forgotten as Spencer scoops me up in his capable arms. I mean, they’re warm and inviting, but I certainly don’t get the same thrill as when… shit. No. No more thinking about him.
I bring my bottle of green yumminess to my lips and take another shot. “Whoa,” Spencer chuckles in my ear as his fingers splay against the exposed skin of my stomach. “Slow down, babe. We’ve got all night.”
“Trust me,” I tell him, pushing my ass back into him. “I’m hoping to be well and truly passed out before ‘all night’ happens.”
“Now that I can get down with.”
With that, I tune out Spencer’s mindless babble and try my best to get lost in the music. I bring the bottle to my lips once again and realize that maybe I do want Jackson to see me. I want him to know what he skipped out on, but then, apparently, he’s with that other girl now. What would he care anyway? I’m just some chick who got tossed aside like the many other girls he’s been with. I don’t know why I thought I’d be special.
Spencer’s fingers tighten on my waist. “Come on,” he says. “I need some air.”
I let him lead me out the back door and by this stage, I’ve had enough to drink that I don’t really care what we do right now.
Spencer pulls a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and holds them out towards me. “Want one?”
“Oh, no. I don’t….” I cut myself off. What have I got to lose? “You know what? Yeah, ok.”
I slide a cigarette out of the packet and try not to focus on Spencer’s curious eyes. “You sure? Have you smoked before?”
“Nope, but it couldn’t be that hard, right?”
“Depends,” he laughs before pulling out a lighter. “Here.”
I place the cigarette between my lips and lean into the lighter. As the flame stands tall, I suck in a breath and hope to God I’m doing it right, otherwise, I’m about to make a fool of myself.
Once the cigarette is lit, Spencer lights his own before blowing out a cloud of smoke and making me wonder why the hell that didn’t happen for me.
Spencer laughs at the clueless look on my face and explains what to do. As I take the drag, I instantly start coughing, but along with it comes the laughter which is exactly what I’ve been needing, despite the way the cigarette is making my head spin.
Hell, who would have thought I’d have so much fun smoking with Spencer?
I take another drag and smile up at Spencer as he reminds me what a bitch I was when he texted me last week. I can’t help but agree, maybe I could have been a little nicer to the guy. He seems alright so far, but then, he did come on a little too strong.
I’m about to tell him that when the cigarette is plucked from between my lips and thrown down on the ground moments before a heavy boot slams down on it and puts it out. “What the fuck, Henley? You smoke now?”
My mouth drops open as I stare my past right in the face. “Excuse me?” I question with a scoff. “Since when do you care?”
Anger flashes behind Jackson’s eyes which is when I notice Jesse Ryder standing right behind him, probably wondering who the fuck I am, but from the way Kaylah pulls on his hand and tries to drag him away, I’m sure it won’t be long until he figures it out.
“I’ve always fucking cared about you. You were like a kid sister to me.”
Ouch. That stung.
I flinch at his words and it’s clear from the way the regret seeps into his features that he knows where he’s gone wrong, but I’m not about to let him keep treating me like that pathetic loser he threw away. I’m more than that.
I raise my chin and narrow my eyes on the guy I thought I was once in love with. How wrong could I have been? “Fuck off, Jackson. You didn’t think that highly of me when you screwed me? Or how about Kaylah? She didn’t care when she left right along with you. You both abandoned me. I had no one, so don’t come all up in my face pretending to care about me now.”
His eyes widen a fraction as he watches me with concern. I never once took that tone with him and I’m sure he’s probably wondering what the hell is up with me now, but months of being on my own and dealing with the shit they left behind have turned me into someone neither of them would recognize.
Kaylah watches me from behind Jesse’s shoulder looking more than pissed off. The second our eyes meet, hers drop away and I swear, I almost see guilt taking over, but that couldn’t be right. You don’t feel guilt for someone you don’t give a shit about.
I bring the bottle back to my lips, needing something more to dull the ache within my chest and watch with amusement how Jackson watches me. It’s like seeing him witness a stranger going through a trainwreck.
I look up at Spencer, unable to handle the look in both their eyes. “Take me away.”
He grins down at me like all his dreams are coming true and puts his arm over my shoulder. He begins to pull me away when Jackson steps in his way, making Jesse fall in beside him, prepared and ready to fight for the damsel just as I would expect of the guy.
Jackson’s eyes cut to mine, his brows drawing down as he tries to get a read on me. “What are you doing?” he questions, looking at me with a pity that has me wanting to throat punch the guy. No one pities me, especially not Jackson. Anyone but Jackson. “Who are you?”
I set my jaw. “Get out of my way,” I tell him, making myself grin as I realize that I still have the ability to drag out his overprotective douche side.
When Jackson doesn’t budge, Spencer moves an inch forward. “You’ve already fucked her over, man” he says, for some reason jumping into the protective boyfriend role. “You looking to do that again?”
“What? No,” Jackson says.
“Right, then move the fuck on.
She wants to party.”
Jackson shakes his head, his fists clenching at his sides while his jaw clenches. Jesse hits his chest. “Come on, man. She’s not interested.”
I turn away, not wanting to hear his response. With my bottle in hand and hopefully the promise of another cigarette, we walk away from my past. I don’t bother looking back as I allow Spencer to lead me down to the back of the property where he can finally help me forget.
Chapter 15
I lay in the cool grass with Spencer hovering above me and his lips pressed to the sensitive skin of my neck. His hips sink down onto mine, letting me know exactly what he’s got to work with as he starts to grind.
Tully was right, he really is good with his tongue. No wonder she gave the guy a decent chance.
Spencer’s hands roam over my body, claiming every part of my skin as his lips move up from my neck. They brush across my lips and I find myself tearing my face away from his. “No,” I rush out, slightly panicked and having no idea why.
I’ve kissed plenty of boys in my seventeen years and not once have I ever had an issue like that.
“What’s wrong?” he questions, trying again.
“Anywhere but the lips,” I tell him.
Spencer gives me a funny look but his need to get lucky surpasses his desire to figure me out, so he shrugs and gets back to work. Just as well though, because I haven’t been able to figure myself out for eight months.
Spencer’s hand slides up under my cropped tank and cups my boobs. He’s gentle but firm yet I’m still not feeling it. I close my eyes hoping it helps me climb aboard the horny express, but as he gives my boob a squeeze, I picture the arm under my shirt being covered in tattoos.
My body relaxes and my tank is tugged over my head, leaving me exposed, but if it was Noah touching me, I really wouldn’t mind.
As he chuckles, I can picture his face, only it’s not Spencer’s that appears behind my eyes. It’s a sunkissed boy with dark hair and green eyes that seem to call to me, but hell, it’s working and if he’s not careful, I’ll be finished before we even get started.
Untouchable: Haven Falls (Book 1) Page 14