by Scott Baker
She knew the voice, but it was displaced. She walked towards the man as he looked up at her with pleading eyes. Crystal blue eyes that were filled with tears. His head dropped, but his arm still reached out towards her.
‘Lauren, don’t go. Please don’t go.’ Sobs broke the plea.
She could not reconcile the conflicting information from her eyes and ears. Finally Shaun’s eyes came back up and his arm came down. He was spent. He could not see her walk away. He could not believe he was seeing her at all.
‘Who are you?’ Lauren said after a moment, looking at him like a cat trying to decide whether to rub up against a visitor’s legs or to flee. Shaun looked back at her. He found it hard to believe she did not recognise him, but then he remembered the homeless bum they had hit with their car. As he lay there on the road, and even when he lay on the back seat of Shaun’s own car, Shaun had not recognised the man. He looked old, mostly because of the missing teeth and unkempt facial hair. There was so much mud and blood on the man that distinguishing any features had been impossible.
Shaun knew now what was happening. The circle in his mind was complete. He was the hobo, and Lauren was alive.
‘Lauren. Please,’ he repeated quietly. She moved close, within arm’s reach and stared at him. He raised his eyes and looked at her.
They had not seen the hobo’s eyes when they brought him to the hospital, but as she looked into those eyes now, she knew them.
‘Lauren,’ he said again. She shrank back.
‘Oh my God!’ she said in a single gasp. Shaun’s head dropped. He found it hard to breathe. Lauren moved to him and reached out. She touched his hair, but Shaun did not respond. She sank her fingers into the tangled mass, and felt him wince.
She did not, could not, understand, but as she lowered her face down to his, Shaun’s hand reached out and touched her arm. Slowly, knowing he had to keep moving, he called on his strength and looked at her again.
‘Shaun? What happened? I don’t …’ she let it trail off.
‘We have to go,’ he said to her simply.
They were on the road and heading north soon after. They had taken the hospital truck, Shaun insisting that although the DHL one had the keys in it, they could not use it. He had also steered her away from the north gate, instead making Lauren drive over a garden and break a chain-link fence to escape the hospital. She had spent the first half hour in silent obedience, her brain occupied with running and re-running the events of the night.
Still affected by the drugs the hospital had given her to calm her down, she was groggy, and her arm hurt. Shaun had stayed conscious for long enough to give her directions towards DC, but then passed out again.
She looked over at him. This was her husband. The hobo. This was Shaun.
She drove on into the night and sped towards the home of Senator Tim Strickland in Washington DC.
PART 4
LOOPS AND WALNUTS
‘Another time, another place, another life, another face –
Oh my love I know I’ll see you again.
And the circle that starts with the beat of your heart,
Takes you back to the beginning again.’
‘Round and Around’, Christopher Davison
CHAPTER 66
It was five in the morning when the doorbell rang. He had not slept well, even though he knew he would have to be up early this morning. Professor Landus had left at a reasonable hour last night, claiming he had to fly into the ‘hot zone’ before events kicked off.
Tim Strickland was expecting visitors, although there was no way his visitors could know this. He had sent his housekeeper, who normally slept here during the week, home for the night, saying that he was having a lady friend visit. He partly wished that were true, but Tim had not had a regular lady friend for more than a year now. Anouska had run off with his political rival after meeting him at a function down in Louisiana.
He did not really mind. Like so many things about his life for the last ten years, he had come to expect it.
‘Knowledge is power,’ the professor from Cambridge had told him not long after they had met. The professor had a lot of knowledge; knowledge about what was to come. He had said he was from an institution called The Society for World Historical Accuracy. Tim had thought the name sucked, but had refrained from saying so.
Over the next little while, certain help was given to the would-be Senator. Important information about key events was passed along. Background and historical information on opponents in the political arena appeared in manila envelopes on his doorstep. With the help of The Society, Tim was able to make bold predictions about events and actions, and he was right every time, earning him a reputation for analysis and foresight. In the current climate, he was a valued advisor to the President, with whom he seemed to share a bond; they always seemed to see eye to eye on key issues.
So, on this of all nights, he had arranged to have his house occupied not by his regular hired help, but rather by a single trusted physician who had been installed in the guest room on the lower level. Tim had known the doorbell would ring, and he had prepared for the event in the way the professor had told him to. Throwing on his robe, he raced downstairs to face the moment that was to be his price for the aid he had received over the past decade.
The door opened in front of them, and Lauren looked at her brother-in-law. He was wearing a robe and seemed less surprised than she had expected. She had Shaun’s arm around her shoulder and supported most of his weight. She looked up at the older statesman and smiled apologetically. She took a breath, ready to explain the reason for the unexpected intrusion, but the Senator beat her to it.
‘Lauren. Come in, come in. Bring him through to the parlour,’ Tim said, slinging Shaun’s other arm over his shoulder. Trails of blood seeped through the saturated dressings that had been applied at the hospital. They laid him down on a makeshift bed that had been set up. Standing next to the bed was a man with a stethoscope around his neck and a tray of medical tools at his side.
‘Lay him on his back … gently,’ the man said, taking scissors and beginning to cut open Shaun’s shirt. Lauren looked confused, but then, the whole night had been one confusing mess. She was exhausted from the drive, and although she had had some sleep at the hospital she was hitting the wall again.
‘Lauren, a drink?’ Tim asked as he disappeared into the kitchen without waiting for an answer. He returned a moment later with a tall glass of orange juice, which she drank greedily. Tim looked up at the man examining his brother.
‘Well?’
‘There have been several bouts of trauma. This didn’t all happen from one incident. It appears there’s something of a gunshot wound on his upper arm here. It’s slight, consistent with a grazing contact. Several ribs are gone, I’m sorry. That’s going to be the difficulty, there’s really not a lot besides time that can help them.’
Lauren broke in. ‘I’m sorry, who are you?’ she asked, looking at the tall man with glasses.
‘Forgive me,’ Tim said, ‘this is my good friend and personal physician Dr Max Herringson. We’ve been expecting you.’
‘Expecting us? How can you have been expecting us? Just what the hell is going on here?’ Lauren asked, confused and getting a little angry. Tim smiled at her, trying to look reassuring.
‘He’s in good hands. What you both need now is rest. We’ll be able to talk about it later in the day after you’ve both had a good sleep.’
‘These bruises,’ Dr Herringson continued as if he had not been interrupted, ‘have been re-bruised. It looks like he’s been in several car accidents, then beaten up.’
‘We had a car accident earlier, we hit a …’ Then Lauren remembered what she was saying. ‘Well, no, I mean, he was hit by a car last night, but was already looking pretty beat up.’
The doctor looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Tim took Lauren by the arm and led her into the next room.
‘He’ll be fine. Max is the best, and as I said, we’ve bee
n expecting you. I promise we’ll explain things a little later, but you really have to get some sleep now.’
Reluctantly, Lauren lay back on the couch, which had been prepared for her with fluffy pillows and a blanket. She wanted to complain and demand answers, but she was too tired from fighting the exhaustion that overcame her on the road. She had been sick with worry all night, but she had always liked and trusted Tim. So, as her eyes closed of their own accord, she did not fight to open them again. She slept deeply.
When she woke, the room was full of sunlight. She heard the clinking of spoons on mugs and threw back her covers. Entering the living area, she stopped at the sight of Tim, the physician and Shaun sitting and drinking coffee from what smelled like a freshly brewed pot. They looked up as she entered and beamed smiles, though Shaun was missing several teeth from his.
‘Lauren!’ Tim said smiling. ‘Glad to see you’re up. How are you feeling?’
‘How am I feeling?’ she asked. ‘I’m totally fucking confused about everything! I’m feeling freaked out, is how I’m feeling.’
‘Thank you,’ Shaun said suddenly, standing. He was staring at her in the strangest way. ‘Thank you for not leaving me.’ It was definitely him again. Although he still wore a bandage around his head, it was fresh, and he had been thoroughly cleaned up. He had shaved, showered and changed clothes. His face was still cut and swollen, but the blood and dirt were gone. Those same blue eyes that had pleaded with her so desperately the night before, now looked at her again. Again, they welled with tears.
‘Shaun, what’s going on?’ she asked as her husband limped towards her, looking at her intently. Tim and the doctor sat silently on the small couches in the living area. They knew what was happening, having listened to Shaun’s story all morning.
‘Lauren, do you know how much I love you?’
‘I love you too, baby. But will you tell me what’s going on? I just saw you at the hospital and then, suddenly you were the guy that we hit. I don’t get it.’
‘I thought you were dead,’ was all Shaun could say as he wrapped his arms around her, in an embrace he had thought would never come. She held him, content for the moment just to be there, to hold him, to let the explanation wait. After a time she spoke.
‘It’s okay, baby, I’m right here,’ she said. Shaun wept openly. ‘Come on, baby, your snot’s getting all over me,’ she said after a while, pushing him back gently. He laughed a little through his tears.
‘Sorry,’ he snuffled.
‘Okay, now what’s all this about me being dead?’
The conversation took the rest of the afternoon. Lauren sat and listened, unable to take a lot of what Shaun said at face value, but he had gradually convinced her. The doctor had left shortly after Lauren woke, but had promised to return later. They thanked him profusely and as Shaun recounted the events of the past three weeks to her, several more pots of coffee were brewed and drunk. Tim sat and listened to the story again, picking up on details he had missed. Occasionally he would ask Shaun to elaborate, but mostly he sat quietly, allowing Lauren at the same time to absorb the details of the story. Of course, it was not all a complete surprise to Tim. The professor had told him much of this before.
When Shaun was finished, Lauren sat quietly. She had known the start of the story, but she found the rest of the tale incredible. The fact that Shaun had travelled back in time, something he had insisted for years was impossible, was also beyond Lauren’s immediate comprehension. When she finally spoke, it was the question Tim had also asked earlier.
‘So, where is the diary now?’
Shaun shuffled uncomfortably. ‘It’s, ah, still in the cave, or at least it will be in a day or two. Right now, it’s tucked down my pants and I’m on my way to Spain.’
‘So … can’t we warn you? Can’t we get in touch with you or something and prepare you for the dangers coming up?’
‘No!’ Shaun said firmly. ‘That was one thing the diary was very specific about. One thing Fontéyne kept saying. He called it The Rule of Knowledge. You can’t change anything you know has happened. We mustn’t try.’
‘But what about me? What about the man you say shot me? You changed that and the universe hasn’t exploded,’ Lauren said.
‘Ah, I thought about that. I admit, I acted on instinct at the time, but I’ve thought about that long and hard and I realised I didn’t actually see you get shot. I turned as the doors were closing, saw the muzzle raised, then as the doors closed I heard two shots. I raced back up as quickly as I could and as I said, your bodies were gone. That female cop hypnotised me or something, and kept reinforcing that you were dead, so I didn’t really question it.’
Lauren reached out and took his hand. ‘I’m right here,’ she smiled. Shaun smiled back.
‘Well, you two seem to have sorted a few things out,’ she said, looking at Tim. Her brother-in-law took off his glasses and lay them on the table. He wasn’t sure exactly how much he was supposed to tell them, but decided restraint was the wisest approach. He was after all, a politician, and dealing with delicate information in his answers was something at which he excelled.
‘Yeah, we’ve ah, straightened some things out. I’ve been very busy. It wasn’t my intention to avoid you,’ he lied. It had, in fact, been his exact intention for the past few years, as hard as it had been. But that was over now. He had had to play the bad guy as he made arrangements Shaun could never know about, but he knew it was for ultimate good.
‘It’s all true,’ Shaun said then. ‘If I’m really sitting here, and you’re really alive, then it’s all true. I need to get that diary. I can’t believe I walked it right into their hands. They set everything up to lead me there, just so they could get their hands on the book. Looking back, I can’t believe what a fool I was. Now they have the diary, and they have David.’
‘Then, let’s stop them!’ Lauren said, exasperated. ‘Why don’t we just call this David character and warn him?’
Shaun looked at her. She knew the answer. ‘But what if you’re wrong?’ she said. ‘What if they’re all wrong? What if you can change things?’
‘I don’t know,’ he replied. It was too much to contemplate, and no matter how many times he went over it in his head, he always came to the same conclusion: he knew enough now to know that he did not know enough. ‘I’m not sure you could actually change anything even if you tried, because it’s already happened. I mean, if I stopped myself now from going to the mountains in Afghanistan, I wouldn’t get sent back in time to stop myself, would I? So, it’s a crazy loop. I have to go on the assumption that you can’t change what you know has happened, but if you don’t know it happened then who’s to say that it didn’t?’
‘So, you want to go there again? You want to go and save your friend?’ Lauren asked. ‘I’m not sure I can let you leave me. I’m not sure I can let you go,’ she said, reaching for his hand again as her mind continued to expand to absorb this new reality.
‘She can stay with me,’ Tim said.
Shaun closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. ‘There’s something else. It wasn’t something I realised until this morning when I looked at you asleep on the couch. You know how you said—’
BAM! Shaun’s hands shot up to his temples as more images flashed painfully in his mind.
‘Baby, are you okay?’ Lauren asked, worried.
‘I’m fine. It’s just that my head keeps exploding with these images. I’m okay. They seem to be getting a bit better. They got worse and worse right up to the moment of the accident, but it’s like that point was a mountain that I’m coming down the other side of now. They’re getting further apart.’
‘What images? What do you mean?’ Lauren asked.
‘Events. Things. I don’t know. Some of them seem like memories, and other things I know haven’t happened,’ Shaun paused, ‘yet.’
Tim and Lauren remained silent.
‘It’s like the flash I had when I looked at you this morning. Like I was saying, you said yo
urself that we didn’t recognise that the hobo we hit was me, because the idea was so impossible that it wasn’t even something we were thinking about. Well, some of the images that flashed in my head were of the moments before I came through, as I was standing on the platform. I remembered looking up at the doorway and seeing a man and a woman. The man was me … and the woman … was you. It was me and you.’
‘What? You’re saying that you saw us? Are you sure?’
‘I’m sure. I didn’t think of it at the time, but why would I? But it was us Lauren, it was me and you, which means …’
‘Which means you want me to come with you,’ Lauren finished his thought.
‘You were there, Lauren. It’s already happened. I don’t know why, but you were there. You do come with me.’
‘And what if I choose not to?’
‘You can’t,’ was his straightforward reply.
‘And why not?’
‘Because it would change something. It would make something different, and I might not be here now.’
‘But you are here now!’ Lauren insisted. ‘And besides, how does me not going with you affect you being sent back in time anyway?’
‘I don’t know,’ Shaun replied.
‘See.’
‘No, I mean that’s exactly my point. I don’t know how it would affect it, which would mean that it might not be how it is now. That’s why it has to be the same, exactly the same, otherwise, this moment can’t happen. Otherwise, I might not be here, I might not be able to …’ he choked at the thought, ‘I might not be able to save your life.’
That silenced her. She thought back to the hospital bed; to seeing the husband she knew walk away down the hall to book them into a hotel. Then, she closed her eyes. Before she knew what was happening there were gunshots and the hobo they had hit with their car was bashing into a man. She replayed the moment in her mind’s eye and shifted her perspective: it was Shaun, doing whatever he could in desperation to save her after having gone through the grief of losing her. He just did not want to mess with it. He would not risk the slightest chance of not being there to save her at that moment. It was all for love.