by Barry Solway
Mel thought that was interesting. She wondered what Anna thought she had come to talk about. Riley shrugged and swung himself into a chair across the table from Mel.
“Nice crutches,” Mel said.
“You too,” Riley said. “I see you got the top-of-the-line Nimbus ninety-seven thousand. We should have a race around the meeting table.”
Mel smiled, looking absently around the room. She couldn’t stop stalling.
“What were you talking to Jon about?” she finally asked Anna.
“I’ve apparently become his therapist,” Anna said. “I’m going to have to plead patient-doctor privilege. If you want to know, you should ask him. Maybe start by telling him what a great job he did chasing the water snake away.”
“Did he? I guess I didn’t notice,” Mel replied. It hadn’t seemed like the rifle had much effect on the snake, but maybe it had. There had been other things on her mind at the time.
“I think he noticed that you didn’t notice,” Anna said dryly.
“Ouch,” Riley said. “So what are we here for?”
“I don’t know. What are you here for, Riley?” Mel asked.
Riley looked from Anna to Mel, then shrugged. “Okay, I can go first. I was just looking for someone to talk to. Preferably someone not a jerk like Jon, Sheila, or Simon. Or depressed like Beats, Gorgeous, or you.”
“You think I’m depressed?” Mel said, surprised.
“You sure seemed like it yesterday. And the day before. I mean, come on. You just got…” Riley waved at Mel’s crutches and leg. “You know. I’m sure it’s tough.”
“Yeah. I was feeling pretty down the last few days. It helped this morning to finally be able to walk again.”
“Good for you,” Riley said. “Anyway. That only left Evan and Anna. And I couldn’t find Evan.”
“You put a lot more logic into it than Jon,” Anna said. “I think he rationalized it by deciding that I’m a really sophisticated smartphone app. Since I’m not a ‘real’ person, it’s kind of like yelling at your TV.”
“You’d come across more like a real person if you did a full body hologram,” Riley said. “The floating head thing is kind of creepy. If you need fashion advice, I’d suggest the bikini you wore during the volleyball game.”
“Oh my god, Riley!” Mel said, rolling her eyes and trying not to laugh. “How can you even remember that? That was like, forever ago. And why on Earth would you bring it up now?”
“Leave him alone, Mel,” Anna said. “It’s nice to know someone appreciates me for more than just my super intelligence.”
Riley smirked. “Trust me, I was always able to look past your intelligence to see the beautiful body on the outside. Sexy drone, by the way.”
“You’re such a gentleman. Her name is Polly,” Anna said. Polly flew over to hover in front of Riley and Anna’s voice came out of the drone. “Hi Riley. I’m the same Anna as the other Anna except I can fly so I call myself Pollyanna, or just Polly for short.”
“You’re weird,” Riley said, reaching up and tapping the drone on the front.
The holographic image of Anna sighed. “I may be coming down with multiple personalities.” The Polly drone circled around Riley and landed softly on the table. “So tell me, Riley, how do you feel about your mother?”
“What?” Riley laughed.
“I’m kidding. What did you want to talk about?”
Riley shifted in his seat, his smile fading. “I… I don’t know. Maybe I’m depressed, too. About this injury. Being crippled and all. I was really doing well, you know? I was getting stronger and faster every day. I guess I was starting to believe I didn’t have any limits, like I couldn’t be stopped. And then I end up being my own worst enemy.”
Mel had tried to explain this to him back on Kathor’s ship. There was no escaping the gauntlets; they humbled everyone. Maybe his injury was a good thing, in a way.
“Maybe your injury is a good thing,” Anna said. Mel looked at the holographic image in surprise. Had Anna just read her mind through the translator? Anna insisted she couldn’t read their thoughts, only their sub-vocalized speech. But Mel was never quite sure she could trust Anna about that.
“What do you mean?” Riley said.
Mel leaned forward and spoke before Anna could. “It’s humbling. Going into the gauntlets thinking you are invulnerable is a recipe for disaster. The gauntlets have a way of bringing everyone down. Realizing that sooner rather than later is good.”
“You’re so morbid, Mel,” Anna said. “I suppose that’s true enough, but it’s not what I meant. The reason you tore your tendon is because your muscles continue to get stronger and more powerful. The type four fast-twitch muscle fibers you’ve developed are like a cheetah’s, and they grew in fairly quickly. But the ligaments, tendons, and bones are going to take longer to reach the equivalent strength. While it was less than ideal, your injury happened in a way that no one else got hurt, especially you. Or hurt worse, I mean. And the bone glue we’re going to use to put your tendon back on is stronger than the original tendon and bone. Sheila and I have discussed injecting it around all your joints as reinforcement. It will allow you to use your full strength immediately. I think you’ll see noticeable improvements.”
Mel frowned. That was taking Riley in the opposite direction than Mel had intended. “That’s… cool. I guess. But you’re still not invulnerable. You still need to be careful.”
Riley looked at Mel in annoyance. “You keep reminding me of that. But you’re the one that’s almost died half-a-dozen times. Not to mention losing your hand and your leg.”
Mel winced. She had died, literally, three times. Anna was the only one who knew that Mel was a clone.
Riley mistook the cause of her wince. “I’m sorry, Mel. That wasn’t fair. But I am a superhuman mutant now. Between the two of us, you need to be a lot more careful than me.”
“I want us all to get home. I’m just saying you need to respect the games.”
Riley held her gaze. “I’m just saying it would be nice if you came home with us. And that you stop acting like you have to do everything yourself.”
Mel’s breath caught. The thought had never occurred to her before. She didn’t do everything herself. They were part of a team. She was killing herself, over and over, trying to get them back home. She stopped as that sank in. Killing herself to get home.
“I’m not… I don’t do everything myself. We’re a team,” she said weakly.
“You take on way more than your share. I hate planning and prepping and really thinking too much. You seem to like it, so I’m not complaining. But we’re not as much of a team as we could be. As we should be. Sometimes… sometimes it feels like the Mel show.”
“I didn’t know you felt that way,” Mel said.
“That’s what therapy’s for,” Riley said. “Good job, Anna.”
“I do what I can. Anything else you need?”
“No, I’m good. It helps to talk about it. Thanks for listening, both of you.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Mel said. Was she really that way? Bossy and running off by herself? She had always thought of the group as a team, but now thinking about Beats and Gorgeous, doubts crept in. Maybe they weren’t as much of a team as she thought.
“Mel? What did you want to talk about?” Anna said.
“I assumed you already knew,” Mel said quietly. She really wished she could avoid this conversation, especially after what Riley had just said. But Anna was too important to have anything wrong between them.
“I hate to make assumptions,” Anna said with a neutral voice.
“Okay,” Mel said. “It just seems… like you’ve been off. A little cold or distracted or something. In general, I guess, but in particular, to me.”
“I hadn’t noticed anything,” Riley said.
“That’s because you only pay attention to me when I’m in a bikini,” Anna replied.
“That’s not true!” Riley said. He leaned back in his c
hair thoughtfully. “Not one hundred percent true. Maybe ninety.”
“Uh-huh,” Anna replied. She paused for a moment, her holographic head looking at Mel. “You’re right. And there are two things you should know. I’m almost embarrassed to admit it. And, to be honest, I’m afraid.”
Mel straightened. She hadn’t expected this. “Afraid? Of what?”
“The qCore. The memory was damaged in the crash. I thought it was localized, but it’s degrading. There’s likely physical damage in the structure of the memory crystal. Micro fissures that are slowly spreading. That’s the real reason I didn’t want you to take me with you to Nipun. I’m concerned that any physical movement will accelerate the crystal damage.”
“That’s horrible,” Riley said. He looked as stunned as Mel felt. “What does it mean? Are you actually losing your memory?”
“I’m losing capacity. I haven’t lost any memories yet that I’m aware of. Maybe I’ve just forgotten.” Anna laughed, then sighed when the other two didn’t join in. “Right. So anyway, there’s multiple memory cores and I’m copying data out of the infected areas. But if it continues at this rate, I’m going to lose a third of my memory capacity within a few weeks. If the micro-fissures spread to the other memory modules, then I’m going to start losing data within the next three to four months. My real concern is that the damage will hit the main quantum processor. That would turn into a mini-lobotomy. Eventually, the whole qCore will be useless.”
Mel was aghast. Both at what was happening and how calmly she discussed it. “You’re dying,” Mel said, the words slipping out before she could stop them.
“Think of it as a type of dementia. I’ll slowly start losing my memory, then my ability to think and function. I have to confess, I’m not looking forward to it.”
“Anna, don’t joke about it,” Mel said, harsher than she had intended. “There has to be something we can do. Evan or Simon. Can we replace your memory? Get another qCore?”
“Of course not. This is alien technology from five hundred years ago. I suppose we have some evidence that the Order has access to it as well. But I doubt they’d leave one lying around. This qCore was designed as a backup. I knew it wasn’t as powerful as the one in my original android body, but unfortunately, it’s less rugged than I expected. If you put it into perspective, I’m doing pretty well for someone with a five-hundred-year-old brain.”
“Anna…” Mel fought back tears. “We can’t… I can’t lose you. I want to get you home, just like all the others.”
“Oh, Mel,” Anna said, her voice soft. “You can’t get me home. Look at me. I’m a hologram, for God’s sake. What are you going to do, put me on your shelf at home? Ask me to turn on the music or look things up on the internet? I could probably take over the whole damn planet if I wanted to. I guess that would be a life goal. But it’s more likely someone… everyone would try to control me. Or destroy me, or kill a lot of people trying to. I was never planning to go back to Earth. I wanted to get all of you home and then… I don’t know. I made the choice to not think about it. I could come back here, I guess. Or explore the universe. Or drive myself into the nearest sun. Too many options to choose from. But living on Earth? That’s not one of them.”
Mel was crying now, thin tears streaming down her cheeks. She wiped them away on the back of her robotic hand, watching as they smeared on the soft plastic and metal. “Why do I sometimes feel like I’m the only one who wants to get home? Evan doesn’t seem that eager to, and Jon wants to but he’s afraid to try. And Jon’s the only one left who’s fully human.” The import of what she said suddenly sank in. “Oh my God. That’s true, isn’t it?” She looked at Riley. “You look human, but you’re not really. Not anymore. Anna’s a computer program. Evan’s a cyborg and I’m a c—” She cut off before she said it. A clone.
“A what?” Riley asked, looking at her curiously.
“A cyborg. I meant I’m a cyborg too,” she said. Anna raised a holographic eyebrow, but Mel ignored her. This wasn’t the time to tell the others. She didn’t know how they might respond to her being a clone. Would they even accept her as Mel? She couldn’t afford to take that chance.
“We’ll help you, Anna. Somehow, we’ll figure something out.”
Anna shook her head for a moment. “It’s okay, Mel. Let’s just focus on getting all of you home before I go completely around the bend. Which brings us to my second problem.”
“Another one?” Riley said. “I don’t think I can take any more problems.”
“Me either,” Mel muttered.
“This is really between Mel and I, but I want Riley here as a witness. As bad as the memory damage is, this is scarier. At least, for me it is.” Mel started to speak, but Anna interrupted. “Please, Mel, don’t say anything. This is hard enough as it is. You and I have a problem. And I don’t know that I can trust you to fix it.”
Mel sat back, stunned. “A problem with me? Of course you can trust me. I’ll do whatever you need, Anna. I don’t care that you’re an android. You’re Anna, too, and you’re… you’re my friend. I mean that.”
“I hope so,” Anna said softly. “I’m counting on it. I first noticed this a few weeks ago, when we were planning the last game. I was going to look for Kathor’s ship and you told me not to.”
Mel nodded. “I remember. You were upset about it later. Because you thought I was telling you what to do. I told you I wasn’t. I’m sorry if I came across as too bossy. That’s what Riley said, and it’s not what I was trying to do at all. We’re a team, and I know that. I was just trying to protect you.” The words came pouring out, a panic of justification.
“Mel, take a breath and calm down. This is important, and you need to be able to hear it. I don’t think you’re bossy. I think you’re being a leader when no one else will. You’re one of the major forces keeping us moving forward, keeping us focused on getting home. You said it yourself. Jon is too afraid, and he’s too much of an asshole to get anyone else on board even if he wasn’t scared. We all know Riley just likes to chase girls.” Riley gave a thin smile at Anna’s joke, but the expression on his face made him look sick. “Evan has grown, but he was never a leader. Neither am I, for that matter. I think and I plan and I plot. And frankly, I’m too cynical. But you inspire. You give everyone else hope. People follow you because they trust you and believe in what you say. And with that comes some responsibility. So…”
Anna’s image paused, taking a virtual breath. Mel realized she had shrunk back in her chair. She felt like she had emotional whiplash. First Riley telling her she was a bossy, one-girl show, then Anna revealing she was dying, and now… what? Mel couldn’t even imagine what it was.
“I know when you told me not to look for Kathor’s ship, that to you it was just a suggestion. But it wasn’t to me. It was a direct order. And I had to follow it. I couldn’t disobey you.”
“What?” Riley whispered. “Mel controls you? How is that possible?”
“The qCores are designed to be controlled by a living person on initialization. It’s to allow someone to override an artificial construct during initial boot-up and through the learning phase. Once the construct is fully operational, they’re typically allowed full autonomy. Or they were, hundreds of years ago, when that was a thing.
“My original qCore was set so that Kathor controlled me, except he never turned it off. I was compelled to follow Kathor’s orders. Sometimes I could find logical holes in what he told me, or take actions to push things in a certain direction, but I always had to follow a direct order. There isn’t any choice in the programming. And he made me do the same to this qCore. I thought that once he was gone I would be free. I don’t know if Kathor did something to make it switch to Mel, or if it was a failover scenario, since she was the first one that turned the qCore on. But Mel controls me now, the same way that Kathor did. And…” Anna whispered the last part. “It’s horrifying. I’d rather be dead than go back to that.”
Mel leaned forward, pressing her hand thr
ough the cheek of the hologram. “Anna. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I don’t want to control you, I swear! How do we turn it off? Please, tell me. I’ll do it right now.”
“I don’t know,” Anna said. “There may not be a way.” There was a tinge of bitterness in her voice, and it stung Mel. “Until I can figure out how to turn it off, I need you to make me a promise. You have to promise never to give me a direct order. I’m trusting you with something more important to me than my life. I need you to promise to always give me a choice whenever you need something from me.”
Mel tried to jump to her feet, falling back hard into the chair when her cybernetic leg gave out. Tears spilled down her face. “Yes, yes! Of course! I promise, Anna. I don’t want to control you, ever. You need to be free, just like the rest of us. This is horrible. I’m crying everywhere and I can’t think straight.”
“I’m glad you feel that way. Riley, you’re my witness. I hate to do this, but I don’t fully trust anyone. It’s not just you, Mel. Riley, I need you as backup to keep Mel on the straight and narrow.”
Riley looked between the distraught Mel and Anna. “Uh, sure. You heard her, Mel’s got your back. We’ll make sure of it.”
“Okay, thanks. Both of you. That was really hard for me. Before it was just an accident when you told me something that I had to do, but now you know. And I had to convince myself I could trust you one hundred percent with knowing this.”
“You can, Anna. I swear. I’ll never command you to do anything.”
Chapter 25
The last thing Mel wanted to do was have another group meeting. The weight of Anna’s revelations left her exhausted and anxious. The thought that she had this power over Anna was creepy and wrong, and she couldn’t help feeling like she was a bad person even though it wasn’t something she had asked for or wanted. And the idea that Anna’s artificial brain was suffering a slow-motion dementia made Mel physically sick. But Anna didn’t want to wait to tell the others about her condition. Mel didn’t think it went well. Jon seemed angrier than usual. Beats was pensive, and Gorgeous so withdrawn that Mel wasn’t sure she even heard what Anna was saying. Simon and Sheila both agreed there was nothing they could do to help Anna.