She stepped back and looked Emily over, then extended her hand in greeting. Emily shook it.
“Emily, my older sister Tara,” Antonio said. He spoke English, to make sure Emily wasn’t excluded. It came naturally. He and his sister were raised in a two-language household, so they’d always spoken both. On top of that, it was required in the office, because the company had a policy of hiring people from around the world. It kept communication straightforward. “She was the bane of my existence until I was about twenty.”
Tara smirked. “You loved it, and you know it. You didn’t tell me you were bringing a girlfriend. You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.”
Pink dotted Emily’s cheeks, and she ducked her head. It was such a simple response, but she was gorgeous.
He shook the thought aside. “She’s a friend.” The words felt wrong, but they were true. Weren’t they?
“Ma che bella.” Tara dragged her gaze over Emily again, taking her time.
A surge of protectiveness and jealousy surged inside Antonio. “Giù le mani.”
“Se non ci provi, ci provo.” Tara shrugged and turned away to open the trunk. “Your choice.”
“Did I miss something?” Emily asked.
“Did she?” Tara directed a pointed gaze at Antonio. She was in rare form today. He’d have to ask her later what was up.
He shook his head, but couldn’t hide his smile, and loaded their luggage into the car. “She says you’re pretty, and if I’m not going to make a move, she will.” He didn’t see a reason to hide the conversation.
Emily’s blush darkened. “What did you tell her?”
“Hands off.” He opened the back door for Emily and waited until she was in before sliding in next to her. “Her penance is she gets to play driver for the afternoon.”
They left the airport and headed toward the city. Tara got him an apartment near the offices, which should be perfect for Emily to dive into the experience and make getting to work easier. Besides, after living in San Jose for so long, he wasn’t sure he could handle the shock of removing himself from a crowded city center right away.
Tara met his gaze in the mirror. “I bought you a little time to get settled. I know you’ve been on the plane all night, but Mom and Dad are expecting you for dinner. Should I tell them you’re bringing a guest?”
“It’s up to you,” he said to Emily. If Tara was a pest about meeting her, his parents would probably fawn and fall over themselves, but it wasn’t his decision to make. “My family is friendly, but if you want to sleep off the flight, no one will blame you.”
“I’d love to meet them.” Emily gave him a huge grin, then turned her attention back to the passing scenery. As they drove, he pointed out different places of note—some historical and others personal. She looked fascinated with each one, snapping pictures whenever the car came to a stop.
The last time he viewed Milan through the eyes of someone new to the city, it was with Justin. The reminder clenched like a fist around Antonio’s lungs, but the squeeze wasn’t so tight with Emily by his side.
“Tara doesn’t sound like an Italian name,” Emily said.
Tara glanced in the rear-view mirror. “It’s not. Our mother’s Irish. Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll share all the fun secrets Antonio’s kept from you, over dinner.”
“I can’t wait.” Emily sounded excited. Then again, that tone had been in her voice since before they landed.
He wished he could bottle a little of it and use it to smother everything unpleasant that haunted him.
A short while later, Tara dropped them off at the new place, handed over the keys, and wished them both luck. She swept Emily into a huge hug as well, before leaving.
Inside was smaller than Antonio’s house in California, maybe only half the size, but it felt perfect. He settled their bags in their separate rooms, and as he turned, he caught Emily yawning.
“We don’t have to be anywhere until eight tonight, and the city will still be here tomorrow. You should sleep.”
Her persistent grin drooped. “I guess.”
“Come on.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and dragged her to sit on the edge of the bed. “Shoes off.”
She complied, then crawled further onto the mattress and patted the spot next to her. “Keep me company?”
“Sure.” As if he could say no?
He wasn’t aware of falling asleep, until his world shook and startled him awake. Emily flopped down on the mattress next to him. The sun had shifted from one side of the world to the other while he napped, bathing the room in a gorgeous yellow glow.
She settled her head next to his, held up her phone, and said, “Say cheese.”
“Uh... cheese?” He grimaced.
She snapped the photo of both of them, then bounced away.
He forced the haze of sleep away and sat up. “What was that?”
“Nothing. I need to get ready, don’t I? It’s five. When do we have to leave?”
He leaped from the bed and lunged for her phone. She squealed and held it above her head, which wasn’t much of a threat. He snatched it away, the frowned when he tried to figure out what she wasn’t telling him. “It’s locked,” he said.
“Duh?” She grabbed the device back, swiped the screen, and held it up.
It was a text message from Justin. Did you get in safe?
Her reply was the photo she’d taken.
Glad to see it. Tell Antonio I said hi.
Antonio handed the phone back, as a million emotions vied for his attention.
“You okay?” Emily asked, concern in her voice.
He wasn’t sure. The snippet of conversation hurt—that Justin reached out to her, that he sent along his greetings after everything that had happened, and simply the reminder Justin wasn’t gone, even if he was on the other side of the world. “I thought you two left things on a sour note.”
“I couldn’t. I told him to keep in touch, and he made me promise to check in when we landed. Is that a problem?”
It hurt that Justin and Emily had that, but while Antonio was still desperate to have Justin here, he wouldn’t do it without Emily. Was it selfish to want them both?
“I’ll be fine.” He forced a smile. “And we have about two hours before we have to leave. Plan accordingly.”
How long would it take before something as basic as hearing Justin’s name didn’t threaten to devour Antonio from the inside out?
JUSTIN HAD DEVELOPED a new routine in the two weeks since he’d been unemployed. Retired? Self-employed? The last one felt odd, since he’d considered himself his own boss for so long. That had never quite been true, though. There was a lot to adjust to since he gave up APPropriate Designs, but the thing he minded the least was being out from under the board’s thumb.
In the mornings, he worked on his business plan. It took a lot of dry research, and his brain could only do so much at a time. Afternoons and nights were for coding. He was in the process of contracting the engine from his former company, and he operated under the assumption it would happen. Lunchtime was his break from it all, and he never skipped lunch these days. He was guaranteed to get Emily on Skype.
She hadn’t been able to convince Antonio to join, and that gnawed at Justin, but her company was fantastic. Her being so far away deprived him of the ability to press her to the wall and make her whimper, and—fuck—he missed that, but it also meant they talked. He enjoyed the company.
He missed Antonio too. So much, it chewed on his brain and kept him up until he collapsed from exhaustion around two or three every morning. The best way through it, as far as he’d found, was working. Justin expected that to fade with time, but so far, it seemed to intensify as each day passed. Or it was the lack of sleep. It was hard to tell where one stopped and the other started.
His laptop chimed, and a notification popped, telling him Emily had logged on. He gave her a few seconds before he sent the video chat request, and she answered on the first ring.
It didn
’t matter that the video quality was choppy; seeing her face was calming. “My favorite siren,” he said.
“You’ve got more than one?” Her stuttered image flashed a scowl that was a grin half a second later.
“No. Only you.”
“Then, technically, that also makes me your least favorite.”
The logic made him chuckle. That felt good. “I’m pretty certain there are holes in your argument.”
“Nope.” She shook her head fast enough her face became a blur. “Absolutely flawless. Are you going to ask?”
“Ask what?”
“Same thing you ask every time you call. We make jokes, you ask your question—”
“You gloss over it with a generic answer. Should we skip that part today?”
“No. You can’t break the cycle.”
He sighed. Might as well get it out of the way. He wanted to know, anyway, even though the response was always, He’s well. Same as usual. You know. “How’s Antonio?”
“He misses you. A lot.”
Justin swallowed hard, surprised at the gouge the words left in his heart. He should have a clever come back, like, Of course he does, but he couldn’t find his voice.
“I’m not supposed to tell you. In fact, I’ve been specifically ordered to not say anything. But you two are being stubborn assholes, him with the not-talking-to-you and you with the refusing-to-admit-how-you-feel, and I’m tired of the drama. Seriously, you’re worse than high-school girls with a crush.”
“It’s not a crush.” What Justin meant as a denial took on a whole new meaning as he said it. He was telling the truth; it wasn’t. What he felt was so much more.
“Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back.” Emily vanished from the screen.
His curiosity grew, but short of shouting for her and hoping she hurried, he didn’t have much choice but to wait. Muffled voices carried through the speakers—Emily and Antonio—but Justin couldn’t make out the words.
“This is a bad idea.” Antonio must be within range of the microphone now.
“Sit,” Emily said.
Antonio dropped into the seat in front of the webcam, and Emily crouched next to him.
“Hey.” Antonio wore a grimace.
Justin didn’t care. This was better than he hoped for when he called. “Ditto. How are things? Work and such?”
“Good.” Antonio’s tone was flat. “Transition is taking time, but fortunately Dad thought all of this through before he decided to retire.”
Justin hid a wince at the implication. “Glad to hear it. You’re happy there, then?”
“Never been better. How’s Promiscuous Perks or whatever you’re calling it?”
“Great. Fantastic. Once I have a final contract in place for the engine, the school Susan teaches at is taking us live. It’ll need a new name before then.” Justin had to do some serious pleading with Mercy, to convince her helping him make the connection was a good idea. She was skeptical he could pull this off on his own. In fact, she was stunned he didn’t leave with Antonio. Told Justin she always figured he’d get it through his thick head one day.
He’d told her she was imagining things. Now, as he watched a low-res Antonio stream through his monitor, Justin wondered if he was the only person who hadn’t seen what was there. No. He missed his best friend and hated that things ended the way they did, but that was it.
Fuck. He didn’t even believe his own denials anymore. I miss you. I think I might love you, too. The confession stuck in his throat, and the realization squeezed like a fist around his heart. “Anyway. Good to see you. I’ll let you both get back to your night.”
“Yeah. Later.” Antonio left.
Emily slid back into the chair, shouting over her shoulder, “You’re both stubborn assholes.” She looked back at the screen. “That includes you.”
“I figured.” Justin tried to smile, but he wasn’t feeling it. “Will you be around tomorrow?”
“Always.”
They finished their conversation, and she logged off. Justin needed to get back to work, but he couldn’t unstick his thoughts. Seeing Antonio filled him with a need to say something, but anything Justin thought of felt rash. He didn’t want his thoughts to come off as impulsive or insincere.
His confusion was amplified by the situation. Was it really love, or did he just hate losing? And if it was real, the sentiment was too private to share with anyone except Antonio, but at the same time, Justin wanted Emily to hear. Not to hurt her. That was the last thing he wanted. He missed her as much, but at least she was still talking to him. He wanted to make sure she was okay with it. She and Antonio were obviously close. Justin couldn’t destroy whatever bond they built. And if he said the wrong thing to Antonio, he could lose them both forever.
The momentum Justin relied on was gone. He’d stalled in the middle of a quagmire of uncertainty and couldn’t see the path out. He dropped his head into his hands. Was this a flash-in-the-pan impulse?
No. Justin meant this. He felt it in every inch of his body. Antonio wasn’t just a friend or business partner. He was more. He’d always been more. That I love you he refused to say was real. He couldn’t keep pretending otherwise.
But Emily... Justin needed her as well. The three of them made it work for fun. Could it be more? Did it even matter, if it was too late to make things right?
Chapter Twenty-Six
Antonio leaned against the doorframe to Emily’s bedroom and watched her as she pinned another photo to the plaster. She was building a collage of her favorite images from around the city, and her goal was to cover an entire wall. If she didn’t slow down, that wouldn’t take long. He loved seeing her enthusiasm. Her excitement. And her.
She whirled and squeaked. Her hand flew to her chest, and she gave a nervous laugh. “Standing there, watching, without saying anything? That’s kind of creepy.”
“I’d apologize, but...” He pushed away from the wall and strode toward her.
“But you’re not sorry.”
He stopped a few scant inches from her and brushed a loose curl of red from her cheek. “I’m really not. The scenery is too breathtaking to regret looking.” They’d been here a month, and while certain pains never lessened, every day with her was easier than the one before. He wasn’t sure when it happened—or maybe there was no single point in time—but somewhere along the way, he fell in love with her. He prayed telling her wouldn’t backfire, like last time he spilled his guts to someone about love. He didn’t have the same doubts, though, and even if the confession didn’t go well, for some reason he couldn’t fathom, he refused to hold back this time.
She watched him, green eyes wide and sparkling with amusement. “You’re still staring.”
“I’m still enjoying the view.” They shared a bed half the time, but it was only for sleep. They hadn’t had sex since they moved here. He always had an underlying fear he might use her to replace Justin, and end up hurting her. That concern was gone now. “Would you rather I was doing something else?”
“Depends on what you have in mind.”
“This.” He cupped her cheek with his palm and brushed his mouth over hers, then pulled back to gauge her response.
She caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “That’s pretty good.”
“Then you’d be amenable to more of the same?”
She hesitated.
He probably missed a few steps along the way. He glided his hands down her arms and tangled his fingers with hers. “I need you to know I love you. I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it completely. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, and I won’t let you slip away if I can help it.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
It wasn’t exactly the response he hoped for, but it was better than some of the other possibilities. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m not using you to fill a void. The place where you sit in my heart is for you.”
She let out a laugh and kissed
him. It was a feather-light hint of skin on skin, and she pulled away before he could respond, enough to look him in the eye. “I love you too.”
His pulse soared, and he felt lighter than he had in weeks. It had never occurred to him how powerful hearing those words aloud would be. He crushed his mouth to hers, starving and frantic. Needing to be a part of her.
She raked her nails up his chest, pushing his shirt out of the way, and he broke away long enough to tear the clothing over his head. She trailed her mouth along his tattoo, following the path of the dragon’s tail as it looped down his side. Each touch permeated his thoughts.
“I don’t have the patience for that tonight.” He nudged her back and pulled her shirt off. Knotting one hand in her hair, he kissed her again. Holding her close as if she was his air. Diving into the moment. With his other hand, he unclasped her bra.
She giggled and murmured against his lips, “You’ve got nimble fingers.”
“I can do a lot more than that with them.” He slid her bra straps down her arms, and tossed the garment into the growing pile a few feet away.
She stepped away, playful smirk dancing on her swollen lips. “Like what?”
He let his gaze linger on her breasts, round and full, tipped with eager pink nipples. Christ, she was gorgeous. He grabbed her hips and pushed her toward the bed. He kissed her again as they sat on the edge of the mattress. He could do this all night, even if they never went beyond this intense making out. Her mouth against his, their tongues wrestling, it decompiled his thoughts, leaving raw, exposed data in its wake.
She gripped his erection through his jeans. He bucked against her hand with a sharp gasp, and she stroked.
He grasped her wrist and jerked away from her touch with a growl.
She pouted. It was childish but alluring, and he kissed her bottom lip. “If you do that, I’ll finish before I’m ready,” he said.
“I have a hard time believing you have that little self-control.”
“Only with you.”
EVERY CARESS WAS A new sensation to Emily. It didn’t matter if she’d been touched somewhere before, it was different this time. He lowered her onto the bed, then licked a line along her collarbone, down her chest, and over her breasts, to drag a nipple into his mouth. She squirmed under the attention, need throbbing between her legs, slippery and anxious.
Their Nerd: An MMF Ménage Romance (Two Plus One Book 1) Page 19