Kiss Me, Stupid

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Kiss Me, Stupid Page 14

by Gia Riley


  “Why haven’t you responded to me, Wirth?”

  The same reason I haven’t responded to anyone. I want to be left alone. I can’t tell my sister that though. Besides Aunt Judy, she’s the only family I have left. And life is hell when Maisie Sutherland is pissed off at me.

  “Did Aunt Judy call you?” I ask before responding to her question.

  All I get is a nonchalant shrug. But I know Maisie’s anything but cool, calm, and collected. She’s always on a mission, and right now, I’m assuming her mission is me.

  “Aunt Judy might have mentioned you were here.”

  “And?” I’m sure they talked about more than the fact that I’ve been here.

  Smiling, she says, “You’re so much like Mom when you’re annoyed.”

  “And you’re like Aunt Judy when you’re fishing for information.”

  Maisie’s no longer amused. I might have just poked a sleeping bear.

  With attitude, she says, “I’m guessing this new funk is Chandler-related.”

  “Am I that obvious?”

  “Well, you didn’t look like this after Shannon. Thank the Lord for that.”

  My ex is the last person I want to talk about right now. “What’s Shannon have to do with anything? That’s done and over with.”

  I can hear the smile in her voice when she says, “It means, I’m an excellent matchmaker. That’s what.”

  I’ll give my sister credit. Even though she randomly picked a name off the flight list and did a little investigating, Maisie did pick a good seatmate for me. Had she chosen any other seat, I wouldn’t have made out with Chandler. We wouldn’t have already known each other when she moved into the apartment.

  I’d never have seen her almost lick the window or heard her insane explanation for being sucked out of the plane. We’d never have gotten those drinks and then made out when she was suddenly feeling brave.

  “It’s a mess, Maisie.”

  Her eyes soften, and she stops gloating.

  “Aunt Judy told me about Hollis and Chandler, which is tough, given the fact that you all live together. But it’s totally fixable.”

  “You think?”

  “I have a plan,” she says. “But it involves me going over there—without you.”

  She always has been the crazy one.

  “What would that solve? I’m mad, remember? You can’t make me unmad by going to my apartment.”

  “Sure,” she says with a nod. “You’re pissed. Look at you.”

  I realize I don’t look very angry. I’m mostly just depressed. Anyone can see that, considering that I haven’t shaved my face in three days. I’ve only showered once. And, if I’m being honest, I don’t see myself getting off this couch for the rest of the night.

  “So, what’s the plan, Maisie?”

  She rubs her hands together like she’s already spent a great deal of time thinking about this. That worries me even more.

  “First, you have to stay here for a couple of more days. Can you agree to that?”

  “Absolutely.” I like this plan already. “Continue.”

  “I’ll go to your apartment and pack some more stuff for you. When they ask why, I’ll tell them the truth—that you’re not ready to come back yet. Hollis is a talker, and I’m sure he’ll feel extra guilty that you’re staying away, so I’ll feel him out. Once I have a sense of where his head’s at, I’ll report back.”

  “And what about Chandler? There’s no way you’ll go over there and not drill her.”

  “Of course I want to talk to Chandler. But, no matter what she says, I’m always Team Wirth. I promise.”

  I know all about bro code. So, I’m sure there’s a sorority of the sisterhood that bonds chicks together in these situations, too. Knowing my sister, she’ll get caught up in her matchmaking again, forgetting all about my team. She’ll be Chandler’s MVP by the time she gets home. I’m sure of it.

  “Maisie, going over there might just make it worse. They’ll know you’re spying on them. And what if they’re still doing shit together? Do you really want to be the one to tell me about it?”

  “No, of course not. But I’ll be able to tell right away,” she says with confidence. “And I’m assuming you want to know as badly as I do.”

  The thought of Hollis and Chandler has burned a hole in my brain. I’ve imagined them doing everything—everything that I wanted to do with her.

  “You can go, Maisie. Just don’t stay too long.”

  “I knew you’d go for it.”

  My sister gets up so fast; she gives me a head rush. She’s up the stairs and in the shower before I can warn her to stay away from Fisher. He’s had his eye on her for as long as I can remember, waiting for the day she would come around again.

  I was hoping I’d be around when that finally happened. Maybe he won’t be home.

  Chandler

  Wirth wasn’t at work for the third day in a row. I’ve called him every day he’s been gone, hoping that he’ll eventually pick up. But my calls go straight to voice mail. Wherever he’s at, he doesn’t want to be bothered. I can’t even describe how much that hurts. If you’re done with me, at least have the guts to say so. Because ignoring someone is the most painful good-bye you could ever give them.

  I’ve tried to focus on dancing instead, forgetting about Wirth altogether, but that’s impossible. He’s supposed to be at the theater with me. He’s supposed to be in the bedroom next to mine. And he’s supposed to answer when I call.

  “You good, Chandler?” Hollis asks from the doorway of my room.

  He made dinner after we got home. I tried to eat it, but I still can’t stomach much of anything. I can’t even blame it on the virus anymore. That’s long gone. I’m tied in knots for one reason and one reason only—that stupid kiss.

  “I’m fine,” I tell Hollis. “Go to Fisher’s or something. You keep pacing.”

  I already know he won’t go. He doesn’t want to leave me alone. Not even to go to the corner store to get some milk.

  “Come watch TV with me. I’ll put on one of those girlie movies you like.”

  I laugh because he’s the one who puts them on. “You just want me in the room, so it looks like you were forced to watch it.”

  With a completely straight face, he says, “I will neither admit nor deny that.”

  I decide that I can lie here in bed, feeling sorry for myself, or I can sit in the living room with Hollis, my only friend right now.

  Being alone hasn’t exactly solved anything, so I climb out from under the covers. “Fine. I’m coming.”

  Hollis yells, “That’s what she said,” as he dives headfirst onto the sofa. Once he lands, he grabs the remote and switches the station to Lifetime.

  “Have you seen this one?” I ask him as I snuggle under another blanket.

  He studies the screen for a second and then shakes his head. “No, but this is a two-parter. I’ll have to look at the guide to see when the rest is on.”

  We’re only a couple of minutes into the movie when there’s a knock on the door. We both look at each other, wondering who it could be. Fisher usually barges in, so it’s definitely not him.

  “Do you think it’s Wirth?” I question.

  “Why would he knock?”

  “Maybe he doesn’t have his key.”

  I hate that I get my hopes up. Realistically, there’s a one percent chance that Wirth’s standing in the hallway right now.

  Hollis hops over the back of the couch and peers into the peephole. He takes a step back and stares at the door.

  Whoever’s out there gets impatient and knocks again.

  “Who is it, Hollis?”

  Ignoring me, he opens the door, but I can’t get a good look at whoever it is. Just as I stand up to get a better view, the person launches themself at Hollis. Suddenly, he has a set of arms around his neck and legs around his waist.

  “Maisie Sutherland, where have you been all my life?” he says.

  Hollis is a pretty tall guy, bu
t when he sets her back on her feet, she’s not much shorter than he is. And she’s blushing. From the looks of it, Wirth’s sister has a serious crush on my roommate.

  Why hasn’t anyone ever told me this?

  “Hi,” she finally says.

  They stand by the door, staring at each other, making me feel like an uninvited guest.

  “How are you, Maisie?”

  “Fine,” she says as she walks into the living room and takes a seat in the chair next to the sofa.

  Hollis parks himself on the ottoman, closest to her. Suddenly, I feel like I should leave these two alone. It seems they either have history or some unaddressed feelings.

  But, just as I’m about to get up, Maisie turns her attention toward me. “You’re as pretty as I expected,” she says.

  “Thank you,” I whisper.

  She has the same eyes as her brother, and it’s too much. I have to look away.

  “Sorry,” she says with a tentative laugh. “I just see why my brother likes you.”

  “Liked,” I mumble under my breath as I wait for her to ask where he is.

  But she must already know because when Hollis says, “Wirth’s not here, Maisie. We actually aren’t sure where he is or when he’ll be back,” she doesn’t even blink. “I’m sorry if you were expecting to see him before your next flight,” he adds.

  Ah, flight attendant. I remember now. She’s the matchmaker who put Wirth beside me on the plane. I should thank her for making my New Year’s so memorable, but then I’ll have to talk about Wirth, and I don’t think I can do that right now.

  Maisie gives me a sad smile. But she wipes it off her face just as fast and replaces it with something resembling hope. “Wirth’s going to hate me for this, guys, but I know where he’s at. I was just with him at my aunt’s house. He’s been camped out on her couch, drowning himself in alcohol to forget the two of you. Don’t worry; it’s not working.”

  He’s been in the city the whole time?

  “We heard he went to Nashville to take care of business,” I tell her.

  “That asshole,” Hollis grumbles. “Does he have any idea what he’s put Chandler through?”

  Maisie rubs Hollis’s back, and he instantly takes it down a notch.

  “He’s just being selfish right now,” she explains. “What happened between you two set him off. It brought bad memories back to him.”

  “I get that, but if you know where he is, then why are you here?” Hollis asks.

  “I’m a spy,” she admits, totally throwing her brother under the bus. “And he needs more underwear.”

  Laughing for the first time in days feels amazing. I almost forgot what it felt like.

  Hollis doesn’t find it quite as amusing though. He’s still grumbling, calling Wirth an asshole. “You know where his room is, Maisie. I’m not touching his underwear.”

  Maisie shivers and says, “Neither am I.”

  “I’ll get them,” I say as I get up from the couch.

  I’m midway down the hall when I hear Maisie declare that I’m adorable.

  After I grab Wirth a couple of pairs of boxer briefs from his room, I reluctantly throw in some T-shirts and sweats. I leave out the jeans though, hoping that, if he wants to go out, he’ll come home to get nicer things to wear. It’s wishful thinking.

  Hollis and Maisie are laughing in the living room, so I stop in my room and grab a notebook from my nightstand. Before I got absorbed in all things Wirth, I used to journal every night before bed. It’s been over a week since my last entry. While I miss writing, I miss talking to Wirth more.

  It’s a long shot, and he might rip it up, but I write him a note. Short and sweet, it’s just a line. A very pathetic one at that.

  I miss you.

  —Chan

  I’m ripping the page from the book when Maisie sits down on the bed beside me.

  She watches as I tuck the paper inside the bag with the clothes, and then I hand everything over to her.

  “I’ll make sure he reads it,” she says.

  “It’s lame. No big deal.”

  “I bet it’s perfect, Chandler.”

  “Can I ask you something, Maisie?”

  “Sure,” she says.

  “Has he been with anyone else?”

  “Like a revenge fuck?” she questions.

  “Yeah, like that.”

  Hearing her say it makes it sound so vile. Still, my fingers are crossed that he hasn’t so much as looked at another girl since he’s been gone.

  “Chandler, he’d have to bathe and leave the house for that to happen. Not that it would. He’s totally absorbed in you.”

  That should make me feel better, but I know I won’t be happy until he gets up off the couch and comes home, where he belongs.

  “I understand him not wanting to be in the apartment, but at least convince him to come back to work,” I tell her.

  “I’ll do my best,” she says.

  “Can I ask you one more thing?”

  “You can ask me anything, Chandler.”

  “Did you come here to see if you could catch me and Hollis in the act?”

  She shakes her head. “I knew that wasn’t happening before I got here.”

  “How?”

  “I could tell. Though if you wanted Hollis, then we’d have big problems, Chandler.”

  “Meaning you’d beat me up for hurting your brother?”

  “I should say yes here. But no. I’d beat you up for taking my guy.”

  I knew it!

  She stands up as she whispers, “Don’t tell Hollis,” and then she winks.

  I’d never spill her secret.

  Just before she leaves my room, she turns back around.

  I wait for her to say something, but when she doesn’t, I say, “What?” because she’s making me nervous.

  Another couple of seconds pass, and then she says, “Fuck it. Tell Hollis before I lose my mind. I’m tired of doing all the chasing.”

  God, I really like her.

  I think we’ve all been there. Feeling like you’re the one making all the effort when you know something amazing is right in front of your face. There’s nothing more frustrating than waiting for what you want. I should know. I’ve been doing it for days.

  “I will,” I tell her. “Right after he finishes his movie.”

  “Lifetime?” she questions.

  I nod because I’m laughing too hard. Hollis isn’t fooling anyone. Even Maisie knows he likes chick flicks.

  She waves good-bye, and I stay in my room, letting Maisie say her good-byes to Hollis in private.

  Because I know him. If I’m within earshot, he’ll be the nice guy that he is and try to protect my feelings. He’s not the type to jump from girl to girl, and I’m guessing, since we kissed the other day, he thinks it’s too soon to give Maisie a chance.

  Only when I hear the apartment door close do I go back in the living room.

  Hollis is sitting on the couch, staring at the TV, but he’s not watching the movie. He’s in a daze.

  “You fell under Maisie’s spell, too.”

  He looks at me and shakes his head. “What?”

  There’s no easy way to ease into this, so I try to speak in terms he’ll understand. “Hollis, if I had a penis, I’d want her. Actually, I don’t even need a penis.”

  Throwing his head back, he gives me the first real laugh I’ve heard in a while. It feels really good to laugh along with him.

  “We’ve been Maisie’d,” he says.

  “She likes you, you know.”

  “She said that?”

  “Yep.”

  I wonder how he didn’t know. He had to have picked up on her vibes. Every one of them was screaming his name.

  “You’re still my first choice, Chandler.”

  Laughing, I tell him, “You’re so full of shit.”

  He shrugs innocently, and I know he only said that because he was trying to be a gentleman.

  “I want you to be happy, Hollis. If she
makes you happy, then go for it.”

  He holds up his hands. “I can’t touch her, Chandler.”

  “Why the hell not?”

  “Because her brother already wants to chop my dick off and feed it to the vultures. If I kiss you and his sister, I might never walk again.”

  He has a point. Wirth’s mad because of the kiss in the kitchen. If he so much as thought that Hollis had moved on to his sister, he’d flip.

  “Let’s make a deal,” I tell him.

  “What kind of deal?” he questions with a raised brow.

  “If you help me get Wirth back, I’ll make him forget all about you and his sister.”

  “Deal,” he says without a second thought.

  That’s how I know Hollis has real feelings for Maisie. He wouldn’t make a deal he couldn’t keep. And, now, with any luck, we’ll both get what we want.

  Wirth

  I’ve watched an entire movie, and I’m working on a second when Maisie finally strolls through the door. She has a smile on her face, and I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

  “Well?” I ask her as she tosses a gym bag on my stomach and then sits down on the couch.

  “Well, what?”

  “Really, Maisie?”

  “Sorry, you’re just so tense. I had to screw with you a little.”

  Sure, mess with my head a little more. “What’s in the bag?”

  “Underwear,” she says. “And a note you should read.”

  I don’t have to ask who the note is from. But my underwear? What the hell?

  “You went in my drawers?”

  “Gross. No. Chandler packed your stuff.”

  Wow, here I thought, she might miss me, and she packed clothes for me to stay away.

  But, as I unzip the bag, I can’t help but smile. Chandler tossed in the rattiest T-shirts and sweats I own. She wants me to look like shit.

  “I promised her you’d read the note.”

  Unfolding the paper, I’m nervous. Even though it only takes a second to scan her cursive, her words are a punch to the gut.

  I miss you, too, Chan.

  “Did you find anything out while you were there, Maisie?”

  “They’re not screwing.”

  “You’re positive?”

  “One hundred percent,” she says with a smile.

 

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