I finally tucked myself into bed, my mom came back in to sit and talk. She lovingly stroked my hair, which was still wet.
“I know it feels like you’re alone now, but I do believe that you have been brought to this point in your life for a reason. All will be good in time. We cannot always foresee the blessings until sometime later.” She replied kissing my forehead. “I will see you in a little bit. You need to have faith and rest, you’ll see.” I watched her leave the room.
I was exhausted and empty. I closed my eyes to sleep, but the vibration in my head started right away. I knew what was coming, so I tried to block it, giving myself a whopper of a headache. After a few minutes, the vibration stopped and I went to sleep. I would be the one deciding when and how I would receive the messages.
The dream started instantly. I could see Derrick in some sort of Amazonian jungle with beautiful lush vegetation. The humidity was high; his pants were cut off and he had no shirt on. He seemed to be doing fine, but I noticed there was worry in his eye before he began to speak.
“Jordan, I haven’t found a way back through the portal. I might not. It’s important that you know how much I love you. You should start thinking about accepting the possibility that I may never come back. Above all else, I want you to be happy, so when you are ready, move on with your life. Tell my children I love them. I haven’t given up hope.” The dream stopped and I sat up in bed. Children, what was he talking about?
I placed my hand to my belly; it felt the same as before. Was I really pregnant?
My mom must have been outside the door, because she came running in.
“Jordan, why are you awake?”
“I had a bad dream.”
“I need to talk to you about something,” she replied.
“What is it mom? I’m tired.”
“Your sister says you haven’t eaten in about three days. You need to look after yourself, Jordan.”
“I am just not hungry,” I replied.
“I am not sure if you know so I will tell you, I think that you might be pregnant.”
“What? Why would you say that?” I questioned.
“I can see it in your aura. I was able to see it a few days ago, but wasn’t sure about the strength of the pregnancy until today. It looks like it plans on being in your energy for the duration.”
“What the hell is an aura?” I asked.
“It’s the energy field around your body that can often carry different colors. I can see emotional and physical health energies in it.” I remembered the dream I just had. Could it be right? However, could the dream be accurate when it mentioned children not child? Could it be that I was having twins? I wondered.
My mother immediately answered, “Yes, I’ve read that it is the result of sharing intimacy with your spiritually activated soul mate. Children born from activated parents are destined to heal the planet according to the old book. Pure destiny put you on the path to meet Derrick. Your children would help raise the vibration of the earth and assist with healing it. There should be no regrets.”
God, not her too! I had no secret places anymore, not even in my head. I was not ready to accept what she said, yet. I would mull it over and decide later what I would own as truth... She left the room and brought me back a sandwich. She had her Turad in her pocket.
“How long have you known?” I asked looking at the Turad
“Your father and I opened the door twenty years ago. We couldn’t share it with you until you were spiritually aware. We didn’t want to influence your choices about how to live your life. Your sister still doesn’t know very much about all this. She is just beginning her own journey as we speak.” She rubbed my forehead and then kissed it.
“Please eat your sandwich; I made it special,” she winked. I ate my sandwich, and lay back down. My decisions would have to start being practical. I needed to see a positive result on a pregnancy stick before I would accept this situation as being real.
The vibration started again, but I was angry with Max for putting me through all this, so I was going to fight the visions. The headache resumed, but the vibrating stopped. I did not care if I ever had another vision again. I ate, slept and fought the visions for the next few days. My eyes were still closed when I heard a familiar voice beside my bed.
“Are you awake? I need to see that you are all right, so please wake up. I know you just want to be left alone right now, but I need to talk to you about some important decisions.”
I opened my eyes to see Ryan standing beside my bed, my sister glaring at him through the doorway. Some things had not changed, I thought.
He smiled, “She needs a little warming up before she’ll come around, that’s all. Give it time,” he casually affirmed. It might take years, I thought.
He chuckled at that thought, but continued along with his purpose. “I’ve come to talk to you about Derrick. I have had visions about him. He wants me to apply for his death certificate and start the proceedings with his estate; as we, all know whenever there are lawyers involved it could take months. Our family has become very good at faking death over the years to avoid becoming targeted by old enemies. We know how to meet all the requirements of acquiring a death certificate without a body. I know this is too soon for you, but he is concerned about the children and you. He always plans ahead years in advance, I am only following his wishes even though I don’t agree. It has been almost ten days since he disappeared. We’re losing hope he will find his way back.”
“What are you talking, about?” Why is everyone else deciding what is best for me, I thought.
“Have you activated your stones yet?”
“No,” I said. “Why are you concerned about that?”
“It needs to be done and soon,” he replied.
“I will when I am ready,” I said.
“You know that you’re pregnant.”
“It has not been confirmed,” I said.
My mother walked in with a pregnancy test and said, “There is no better time than now. You need to know so you know how to move on with your life.” I had such a sense of emptiness; I did not know how long that it would take to fill. She handed me the test and I looked at both of them staring at me. I snapped, “I could use some privacy.” They looked at each other and promptly left the room. I had my answer within two minutes, it was definitely positive.
I had to put myself back together for the baby. For the first time in my life, I had to reconsider how I chose to treat my body.
I heard a loud knock, “Can I come in?” Ryan asked.
“We are having a funeral at the chapel by Raven Creek. It’ll be on Friday.”
“So soon, can we not wait?” I asked surprised.
“I have spoken to Derrick; however, he has not discovered any means of returning, so we need to proceed with his wishes at this time.” I cried again.
He held me and said, “Don’t worry, it’ll be better soon, you will see.”
“I don’t think I can go to the funeral, or even want to, your parents will hate me. I don’t think it could get any worse at this point,” I replied.
He smiled, “My parents have always known the risks and are ecstatic about having grandchildren.”
“How would they know? I just found out,” I asked.
“My mother had a vision that you would get pregnant when you stayed at her house. She told me it all works out in the end,” he replied.
“She did not tell me anything,” I replied. “You mean Derrick finds his way back?”
“No, she did not say that, but she did say everything happens for a reason,” he explained. “You were not even sure of your own feelings at the time, what would she have said? You had to be allowed to make your own choice.”
“I will see you on Friday,” I replied. He left the room and I could hear him fighting with my sister again. Did those two never stop?
I sat on the bed, and contemplated, Saturday was my birthday. I was turning thirty and would be able to check everything off my life plan list now, but
it seemed pointless. I had gone through many changes within. I would never again be the same person who started on this journey, I was thankful for the growth and experiences, but I felt short changed. It was funny in a way, because I had somehow gotten over the need to be involved in everyone else’s issues. I was finally OK with being alone on one level, but sadly, I could not share the company of the one I had grown to love.
Moving Forward
My mom knocked on the door.
“Jordan, I need to talk to you.”
She came in, "I made reservations for a birthday party at the Mountain Air Chalets, three months ago, for this Saturday afternoon. I sent out invitations for about sixty people. Do you want me to cancel?"
“No Mom, it is fine. I will attend and put on a smiley face for all. Thank you, under normal circumstances, the party would have been a great idea.”
The next three days came and went in a blur. The visions started to come more frequently, but I stopped every one of them in their tracks. I needed to reorganize my life on my own terms before I would allow any new information to come through. It was the morning of the funeral, and I was peering at the reflection in the mirror. It was strange that everything inside of me had changed so drastically but I still looked the same on the outside.
It was at this moment that I noticed who was standing behind me. It looked like it was Morton, or so I thought.
“Why have you not done what I asked?” he said.
"What did you ask?" I replied.
“You were supposed to activate your stones.”
“I do not feel like it now. Why and how are you here?”
“Max has sent me. You won’t allow him to reach you. I am here at Max’s request. Why are you blocking him?”
“I need a break! I was never told that my spiritual growth was going to hurt this much.
“You need to understand that every negative experience in your life is a chance for you to grow spiritually. It is all in how you see it. You must activate your stones."
"Tell me why I must, right now," I demanded.
“Everything to this point has gone according to plan until now,” he replied. “You know the white lie thing you were talking about before; well this situation is similar to that. I cannot say too much because you need to have free will to choose your own path. If you don’t activate your stones, all will be lost.”
"If you knew that this was going to happen, maybe you should have planned for it,” I replied becoming increasingly annoyed.
“We didn’t take into account the fact you would be this stubborn. I cannot give you any more information about the activation of your stones. I have to follow the rules that are set forth,” he affirmed.
“Ok,” I said. “Maybe I will activate them later today.” I looked again and his apparition was gone. I walked over to my pillow, pulled out all four stones, and rolled them around in my hands. They were very beautiful colors, for a handful of trouble. I placed them in the pocket of my dress pants. I was thinking about how and when I could activate them. I would see when the time came. I felt overwhelmed and I just wanted to be left alone for a while.
When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I could see my dad awaiting me with a worried but comforting smile. I ran over to hug him and as soon as his arms returned the hug, I started to cry.
“Jordan, my baby. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here sooner, I was helping Thomas find a way to bring back Derrick.”
“Were you able to find anything?” I asked.
“No, I am sorry. We are at a loss. We have checked through all of the known ancient books, and talked to other Atlantean descendants, but they all say the same. The dimension that Derrick opened with the potion closed behind him, and in order for him to return he needs the exact same potion, which he used entirely given the circumstances. We have spoken to Derrick telepathically; he claims there is no Fairy Wood in that dimension. He has not been successful
Soul's Journey Page 39