by Leah Rhoades
She shook her head and then glanced at him. “If I can hear the forest calling to me, why can’t I hear this soul mate voice you’re talking about?”
Something stirred in Luke’s chest. She was on the right track. “Crystal, do you realize what you’re saying?” She scowled at him, looking confused. “Every time you heard the forest, or what you thought was the forest, that was me. That was the voice in your head, the one that told you your soul mate was here.”
He wanted to reach out and take her hand, wanted her to feel what he felt. “I know I sound like a giddy schoolboy, and it seems like I’m trying to convince you because I want to just dive into something too fast. But for me, this is fourteen years in the making. And if you really stop to think about it, the same is true for you.”
But she had already started shaking her head adamantly. “That can’t be true. It’s ludicrous. And if it is, I still don’t understand why, if you wanted to protect me and you knew your father had killed my grandmother, you’re still hell bent on trying to save him! Why not just let him die?”
Luke winced internally, and not because he didn’t think his father deserved to die. But this was an even bigger issue, and he’d been selfish about it for a long time. Of course, now, there was good reason. Not only would Luke’s life change entirely; Crystal could be at risk.
“My father…is special,” he began. Turning the words over in his head, he almost laughed. He’d already pushed the envelope when it came to believability, and yet, this was going to take the cake.
“Special.” She repeated the word drily.
Luke rolled his eyes and dropped his shoulders, slumping and hoping he could make her understand this one final puzzle piece without blaming him or thinking he was a coward. That was the last thing Luke wanted. He needed Crystal to feel safe with him, to feel protected by him. How could she feel that way about a coward?
Scrubbing his face with his hands, he told her, “My father is the alpha in the region. That’s another reason we came back, hoping having the other wolves around that belong here would help him draw strength. And before you ask, no, we don’t run in a pack, but there is a chain of respect. And in this case, my father is at the top of that chain.
“When he dies, the position automatically falls to me. I’ve never wanted that responsibility, but I don’t have a choice in the matter. And what’s worse, if one of the others decides to challenge me, I have to fight. I’m not a fighter, Crystal, so I’m trying to preserve my father’s life as long as I can.”
She threw her hands up in the air. “But if that’s all true, then he’s going to die eventually, and you’ll have to take that role. Why are you putting it off?” Her face reddened, and Luke saw her anger heightening. He took her rant with a grain of salt, knowing it came from that wretched place, with a fire behind it that blazed out of control. She would continue to struggle with her overwrought emotions at least until the change. “My grandmother is gone because of him. I was raised in an orphanage because of him. And now, I’m going to live by the full moon and have to eat meat because of him.”
“And if he dies now, I can’t protect you,” Luke added with a bit of ferocity of his own. “If they come for me, fight me and win, they can come for you, too. Because my father is the one who infected you, you’re already family, like it or not.” He implored her, spoke emphatically, needing her to understand. “And because you’re my soul mate, I cannot do anything that puts you in direct danger.”
He didn’t even mention the appearance of hunters. If he became alpha, and other werewolves began to come out and gather, wanting to take over, it would draw hunters, and that put Crystal at even more risk. It all added up to a desperate need to fulfill his duty, and his father’s denial be damned. The old man knew all too well that soul mates were real, but he couldn’t handle the heartache anymore and had towed the line over and over until it resonated in his head. There was no such thing as a soul mate.
“If all of this is true, then you’re telling me the voice I’ve heard every time I’ve come out here isn’t the trees. It’s not some supernatural connection to the woods I have. It’s actually a paranormal bond with you, because somehow, I knew innately that you’re my soul mate. Before I ever saw you or even knew you existed.”
Luke shrugged. He didn’t want to push too hard, if she had started to accept this. “I’m telling you what I know and what fits. Have you ever come out here when I wasn’t around? If you did, I bet you wouldn’t hear anything at all.”
He waited, but she said nothing. “Come on, Crystal, don’t you feel it? I mean, haven’t you dated before? Have you ever felt something as strong as what we feel, even after weeks and months? We felt it the day you met me. And maybe you didn’t know it at the time, but you felt it when you were seven years old. Isn’t that why you were in the woods that night?”
“I followed my grandmother, wondering what she was hunting with that shotgun,” she replied. But she didn’t sound convinced.
“Did you hear the voice?” he repeated quietly, not wanting to draw her back from whatever memory she stepped into as her eyes unfocused.
It took several long seconds, but her pupils cleared, and her eyes landed on his face as she whispered, “Yes.”
He nodded. “I know I shouldn’t say this now. I should let you wrap your head around it all. But, Crystal, I’ve been in love with you my whole life. From the time you were seven, I knew I had to find you, had to find a way to be with you because you are my soul mate. You’re what makes my heart beat every day. There is no bigger commitment you will ever find in this world. And yes, if you want to call it an obsession, so be it, because I am utterly obsessed with how perfect it feels to think about my future with you in it.”
“Every time you touch me, it’s like coming home,” she muttered, and Luke’s heart soared. But she didn’t look happy, and he only prayed time would change that. Making eye contact and holding it, she told him, “I’m not sure what to think about all of this, but I’m in love with you, too.”
This time, he did reach out and take her hand, standing and leaning over to kiss her. It felt incredible, surged through him with excitement. There were so many unknowns and so much to face. He was riddled with guilt, and he’d had to confess so much to Crystal he couldn’t imagine how much she was hurting right now. But at the same time, she’d told him she was in love with him, and that was a game changer. At least, if nothing else, he could count on love.
Chapter 18
My studies no longer excited me. I found too much reality in everything I read, in the encounters I’d studied. If werewolves existed, and Everett had infected me so that I would change at the next full moon, how many other tales could I verify? Of course, because of my grandmother’s attack, a part of me had always believed. But then, I’d had plausible deniability until now.
As I focused on the supposed mythology about how a werewolf, shapeshifter, or Lycan was created, I found that, for the most part, it added up. All it took was a bite to infect a human and, poof, they were on all fours at the next full moon.
Sure, there were embellishments, but it all came down to the fact that someone, somewhere, knew the truth and leaked it for public knowledge. And as I compared that to myths regarding the creation of vampires, I once again saw the horrific truth that, most likely, these creatures also existed.
What followed? The Chupacabra? The Jersey Devil that had attacked Sheila Mason’s children? The Loch Ness monster? I could go on and on, and I probably would drive myself crazy, realizing that the world did not mirror the image I had in my mind, much less the world most people believed in.
At least I’d been exposed to something otherworldly as a child to open my eyes to possibilities. Most people saw Bigfoot as a legend, something in the movies that crazy people raved about. Cryptids were just myths to them. In truth, it seemed the world was actually the worst part of all the fairy tales.
But none of this mattered. What I really needed didn’t come from verifying th
e existence of cryptids, and it didn’t come from knowing how to make a werewolf. I already had that under my belt, and every time I read about it, I touched my shoulder, feeling the heat and the sting, the quaking inside of fear.
I needed to find a cure.
The most prominent theory was that destroying the maker would release anyone cursed by his or her bite. That rang true across werewolves and vampires, and because it appeared in multiple myths across multiple cultures, it held some credence in my mind. I considered it, wondering if maybe telling Luke would change his mind about his father. After all, according to the theory of being soul mates, he was bound to protect me at all costs.
But as Everett’s son, and someone who would have to mount some sort of throne in a leadership role that he wasn’t prepared for, I doubted Luke would latch onto the idea. So, that left me to do the deed, and I pondered it long and hard. How I could be so adamant, feel so strongly about what equated to murder, I don’t know, but I seriously leaned in that direction.
But I came to a devastating conclusion. As much anger and resentment as I harbored toward Everett, and even by extension, toward Luke, I couldn’t fathom killing Everett, especially since no evidence presented itself in favor of murdering the sire. Even though musings were everywhere, there was nothing solid that suggested an insider had leaked this knowledge, and probably with good reason. If a hunter found the right werewolf, it could potentially destroy the entire race.
If it was even true.
As I searched through theories and conjectures, reading them over and over from every source I could find, my eyes burned, dry and irritated. Hypotheses regarding isolation of a mutated gene that could be altered in a laboratory sounded like science fiction, and even if it could be done, who could be trusted to do it?
My vision had sharpened, and it gave me a headache as my brain tried to keep up with how quickly and clearly they processed information, allowing me to run through pages and pages of words and images twice as fast as I ever had.
I felt that rage rising in me, the emotional distortion that seemed to come with this fever. Luke had warned me that feelings would be more potent than before, especially in the beginning. But I hadn’t prepared myself for this level of restlessness and aggravation.
As the fury inside me grew, my body warmed. My shoulder burned as if fire spread through my veins, licking at the skin with increasingly intense flames. It felt like it spread wider with each passing moment, and my breathing grew more labored, to the point that my chest hurt. The walls closed in around me, and I fought the panic attack as I felt consciousness slipping away.
I couldn’t stay here. I had to get away from the danger. It threatened all around me, and it crawled inside.
Crystal.
For the first time, the call didn’t frighten me. In fact, it excited me, creating an insatiable desire in my chest to answer.
Crystal. Run. Run away.
It didn’t sound like a warning. The voice wrapped around me with the same intimate touch as Luke’s arms. It enticed me, caressed my face, made me forget the agonizing, searing pain that moments ago had been the sole focus of my attention. I gazed toward the window, longing to just go, and my heart thudded hard and fast in my chest. My body felt weak, but my will was strong, and suddenly, I was on my feet and moving, not quite sure where I was going.
Hands grabbed at me as I smashed through the front door of the cabin and bounded off the porch, none of them strong enough or fast enough to capture me. Voices called my name, but they sounded as though they came through a tube, the other end miles away as air rushed into my ears and cooled my shoulder as it blew past.
And then it wasn’t the wind but the branches of the trees that touched me, scratched and smoothed against my arms and legs as I rushed deeper into the thickest, darkest parts of the woods. Even the crunch of footfalls behind me, rapidly approaching, didn’t deter me. In fact, it fueled me, driving me further and faster to escape the rhythmic pounding that reminded me of a wild animal on the chase.
My breath grew heavier but steady, like a marathon runner pacing herself, yet I didn’t feel that calm joggers say takes over in the space of long distance running. Snorting seemed to blow against my heels, and I quickened my pace, images of the beast who had killed my grandmother, who had attacked me, bleeding into my thoughts.
But the image morphed, and it blurred with my own reflection in a mirror. A scream rang out, and I couldn’t be certain if it belonged to me or someone else. I ran until I thought my legs would give out and the feeling of someone or something breathing down my neck disappeared, and then I kept going just to spite my own body.
I ran until I tripped over a fallen branch, crashing down and landing on my face in the dirt. Every pore oozed, and every nerve sang with exhaustion and agony. And still I wished I could run until I faded away. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t even lift my arm, my shoulder stinging and searing without even moving it. I couldn’t sit up, much less push to my feet, and I let my eyes close as the forest wrapped itself around me like a cushion, protecting me.
The scent wafted to me as the wind tickled across my nose, and now, I was on my hands and knees, my eyes piercing the darkness as if I had night vision goggles. I could see through the trees, through the underbrush, and the slight movement as it crinkled in the bushes to my left had my ears perked, my eyes searching for it.
There, just below a sagging limb, hunkered the source of my attention. Without thinking, I took off after it, giving chase, and within seconds, I caught it. Only then did I realize what I’d done as I looked down at the broken rabbit in my hands, no longer breathing.
A scream echoed around me, and it took a while to realize it was mine, a hunger taking control of me that made me blind and deaf to my own distress. Blood. I wanted to eat it, to taste the raw meat as it bled in my mouth. The beast needed sustenance.
And yet, the human in me cried, my cheeks wet as I sobbed with regret at what I’d done. How could I have taken an innocent life? It didn’t matter that, logically, I understood the predator-prey relationship. This wasn’t me, wasn’t my nature.
At least, it hadn’t been, a week ago.
I jumped as hands landed on my shoulder. I hadn’t heard anyone approach, and my guard was up instantly. I swiveled my head around dizzyingly, and I cringed as Luke’s sympathetic gaze swung between me and the lifeless animal in my hand. I don’t know why, but it unleashed a flood, and my body shook as I wailed.
He pulled me back against his chest, holding me and making soothing noises as I let it out, the two of us sitting on the forest floor with the rabbit cradled in my lap, reminding me of the horror of my actions. Some mistakes could never be erased. The dead didn’t come back to life.
“It gets easier,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
I shook my head. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“I know. But soon, you’ll understand better. You won’t have the remorse anymore.” I started to argue, but he stroked my head and stopped me. “I know it doesn’t seem right, but for the animal, it is. It’s a necessity. You needed to feed, and that need took over. It’s instinct.”
“But I killed it.” The words sounded simple, childish, and they didn’t express the actions to the full effect.
“And you won’t waste it,” he said with conviction. “I’ll help you prepare it. Come on, let’s go home.”
Home.
Home.
The word repeated in a whisper around me, and I shivered. Was this home now? Would I have to stay in the cabin, away from human society for the rest of my life? I thought about Cricket, about school, and I realized I hadn’t really left so much behind anyway. But those things meant something to me, and it hurt to consider never seeing either again.
“Don’t overthink,” Luke counseled, as if reading my mind. “I’ll take you home, and we’ll eat. Then, you can shower and relax.”
His hands rubbed up and down my arms, leaving goosebumps in thei
r wake, and a new sensation took hold. I thought about the gentleness of his touch, the understanding he showed, and the way my stomach clenched when he kissed me. Twisting and tilting my head, I pressed my lips to his, testing and hesitant at first, and then more eagerly as he returned the gesture.
My heart beat rapidly in my chest, insistent thumps that had my blood boiling. Forgetting my woes, I turned in his arms, throwing mine around him so we fell to the forest floor, our tongues intertwining as my hands sought to explore his body with feverish need.
Home.
I was back in my apartment, the night he’d run out on me, but this time, I was the monster, and I could smell his blood. It was enticing, but that’s not what I wanted from him. I was hungry for something else, and as he rolled me to my back and braced himself over me, I saw the desire mirrored in his gaze. I was suddenly grateful for the improved vision, and without a second thought, I tore at his shirt, my hands kneading the smooth expanse of his broad chest.
Home. Yes, Luke was home.
His eyes seemed to glow as a growl rumbled from his chest, and instead of frightening me, it just intensified my arousal. He hesitated for just a moment, and I arched my back, pressing my chest to his and feeling his erection hard and long against my thigh. It was all the urging he needed as he ripped my shirt and lowered his mouth to my breast.
I cried out in delight, reveling in the sensation of his body on mine, his lips and teeth pleasuring me, and in a blur of motion, our clothes ended up in a heap next to our naked bodies. He was glorious in the single ray of moonlight that penetrated the canopy, his legs strong, his shaft hard and ready, and I wrapped my legs around him, begging him silently not to make me wait any longer.
He responded eagerly, filling me in one smooth motion. My thoughts dissipated, and I concentrated on the way my body moved with his, the building pressure, and the eminent explosion that burst and flooded my senses. Flashes behind my lids blinded me, and I screamed wordlessly with the release as he, too, found his pinnacle and joined me. I didn’t realize I clawed at his back until I came away with blood and skin under my nails, and even then, I wasn’t aware until I came crashing down from that height into a lethargic afterglow.