by M. E. Sháen
Halfdan sighed. "Why do you believe she is covered in shit if not for the lesson?"
"You have feelings for her."
"No more than to keep her alive."
"For what? She is worth nothing and brings you trouble. Why keep her? Are there not plenty of able bodies to help with the farm?"
Why indeed? The question I was curious to discover the answer to. Did Eowils's words mean Halfdan treated me differently than the others? And, why did he accuse Halfdan of having feelings for me? The way I was treated assured me the man had nothing but contempt for me.
"Well, it is your problem."
"I was thinking, brother."
"Truly? I believed you incapable of such endeavor of late."
In the silence that followed, I imagined Halfdan stared at his brother down. "What do you think of a final raid this summer on the west lands?"
"What do I think? Why? Did we not take what we could for this season?"
"Perhaps not."
"You would seek further inland?"
"No, not to march through the land. Perhaps greater rewards await us."
"What kind? What are you about, brother?"
"How many ships do you suppose Jarl Thorsson might supply should we attempt to reap bigger rewards for our labor? A raiding party might easily overtake an unsuspecting town, do you not agree?"
"What unsuspecting town?" Eowils didn't seem to bother to hide the suspicion that laced his tone of voice. "You've some idea you are not sharing. We agreed we share equally in all."
"Yes, yes. Of course, we do. I said as much and you have seen I keep to my word. But, what if these holes of the Christ god are not the only mark of wealth on the land? Surely more towns are ripe for the taking."
"And you know of such a town?"
"Mm, I know a way to find one."
"And you will ask Thorsson for ships to raid some unknown town upon such a god's forsaken shore?"
"Why not? The man would happily accept plunder to pay his men, keep his land. Such wealth will raise him in the eyes of others and keep his word fame high."
"He watches you, brother. Have a care not to step too tall, or he may be inclined to call you on your behavior."
"I look not for trouble, brother. Only wealth so this farm remains mine."
"Do not make of the man an enemy is all I say to you."
"Good advice. I will seek out a suitable town, Eowils. And when I find one, I will ask Thorsson for ships to take us."
"Where do you imagine finding a town? Have you maps?"
"There is no need of a map, brother."
Eowils grunted. "Yet we will have need of one to find any town you believe you know of."
"I will make one."
"That remains to be seen." I heard him rise and slipped off the deck and into the chilly water. "And that bitch? What of her? Put her to work on the land is my advice. She ought to taste what a thrall's life is like. Not taken around like a wife by you She will be your undoing."
I wondered at his words. Was taking me to the long hall so unusual because I was a thrall? What game did Halfdan play?
I had little time to consider further, for Eowils came out of the house once more. I let the waters close over my head.
I had still not reappeared to the house when Eowils took his leave later in the afternoon. I heard Halfdan wander to the barn to find it empty.
He found me sitting on the dock, naked ass pressed to the boards, my clothes left to dry by my side.
He crossed to me and crouched behind me. "You cleaned up."
"I had shit in my hair, my armpits,"
He ran his hands through my hair. "It gets in your way."
"You will cut it off now? I note how your thralls are treated. Hair cut off, bodies used. Do me no favors, of the Danes."
"By the gods but your mouth never ceases, vixen." He smoothed the hank of hair, then separated the strands into five equal pieces.
"What do you do now?" I glanced at him over my shoulder.
"You will better learn to fight with your hair off your face."
No smart reply to that from me. I was surprised he would even suggest teaching me to fight after the way I acted toward him. He deftly braided my hair back, tied it with one of the thongs from his own hair, then patted my shoulder.
"There. Better."
I didn't respond, so he sat next to me, feet hanging off the dock by mine.
"I would understand something."
"And I am to help you with that?"
"It is about you."
I eyed him. "What?"
"You were not close with those women, the ones who came here with you? You called them sisters."
"A word. Sister truly means nothing. Should I be close to them?" I shrugged. "I said they were no friend to me. Mostly they hated me and I had no love for them. Mathilda was the friendliest of them toward me, for what it matters."
"You repaid that friendship. You did her a kindness, remember it as such."
"I killed her to save her from him and the life she would have here, of the Danes. It takes little imagination to know what life holds for women here."
"A kindness," he insisted.
"What of it? She is gone, the others dead or," I considered him a moment, "whatever happened to them."
He let his gaze dip across me as he thought about what I'd said.
"You should dress."
I looked at him, only my head turning. "This bothers you? My nakedness?"
He shook his head. "When you are ready, vixen." He rose. "I am going out."
"Bringing another woman back?"
He smiled at me. "You may join us."
I rolled my eyes. "Bastard."
With a laugh, he left me where I was.
It should not have been a surprise I chose to be asleep when he returned later that night. I laid a place by the hearth and slept there. Halfdan took his woman to bed.
The noises she made left me curious and warm. She sounded far from distressed to have him with her. On the contrary, her moans and giggles left no doubt she was having fun.
I opened my eyes and found he stared at me, though he was still atop her. They were both naked and I saw quite well when he lowered his smug face to her breast to suckle. It made her moan again and left me feeling a slow roll of something new in my belly.
The tightness in my belly drew down to heat me inside and I slipped my hands beneath the furs. Hm.
He looked up once more, eyes somehow unfocused, but he still watched me. Then his back arched, and he groaned loudly, his hips stuttered above hers. He flopped atop her and propped his chin on his arm while the woman he'd taken rubbed herself on him. I let my head drop back and shut my eyes.
This was not the first time I'd touched myself, but it was the first time anyone else knew. My hips rose of their own accord and I slipped my fingers inside myself as orgasm left me breathless. He groaned once more, quieter this time. Startled, I looked over to find he all but drooled, his gaze on the furs that barely covered me.
Annoyed, I rolled away.
11
I left food the next morning as I assumed he would feed his latest lover before he sent her on her way.
I took one of the fishing nets as I passed the neat pile of gear that rested near the dock.
Nearly everyone in their village knew me as his thrall, so he would know I didn't go that direction when he chose to look for me.
As usual, the thralls who lived in his home to care for the farm said nothing to me, nor I them. I didn't trust them not to tell him where I'd gone. I wanted some time alone.
The dew was still on the grass I walked through on my way toward the forest that rose behind his lands like a dark line slashed across the sky. A stream ran from the trees to the lake and I hoped there would be fish to catch.
Perhaps my leaving without permission would be overlooked or at least not punished if I returned home with food. And, I would catch enough to feed his woman, if she still hung about the place.
I followed the little stream as it grew gradually wider. The hoed fields of rye gave over to became wild grass. I found that I smiled at the sky as I walked. Here, away from their strange longhouses and the ever-present gaze of Halfdan, I could pretend to freedom I assumed I would never have again. Here, for at least a moment, I could pretend he'd never come to the monastery and never seen me.
I knew I pushed him and pushed my luck with him. Out here no pile of manure existed to toss me into if he grew angry with me.
Out here there would be no witnesses should he decide to use me or beat me. And yet, there was a giddy excitement in daring him. Testing him as he tested me. Yes, it was exciting.
The little stream became a large one at the edge of the forest. I hesitated and then stepped beneath the overhanging branches of tall ash and oak.
Near to the river, the trees were whipcord thin and strove for the sun beneath their taller cousins. I found easy passage with none of the branch and bramble one must deal with deeper into the trees.
I took to the bank of the stream to peer into the clear water. Yes, there were fish, their silver scales brilliant in the dappled sunlight. They flashed as they made their merry way back and forth in the water. Oh, to be free like those fishes.
I sat to rip off my shoes and then tied the bottom of my dress up to bare my legs to wade into the cool water. I carried the net with me but found it immediately annoying. The fish seemed to know about nets, and they avoided mine like a plague.
I settled for leaving the net onshore and sat in the stream with a delicious shiver as the water closed over me to my waist. I would wait, become one with the stream, and capture fish once they'd become accustomed to my presence.
The sun had moved high into the sky when I heard footsteps behind me. I knew, without even a glance, that he carried both axe and spear. They made a small noise as they rocked in the leather belt that ran around his narrow waist.
He stood silent as I put my hands out and snatched a fish that tried to swim past.
With a laugh, I tossed it atop a pile of others in the net on the shore. He breathed a laugh and I lifted her head to look up at him.
"Dinner." I hoped the explanation would be enough.
He nodded. "You have fish aplenty here in your net."
"For three?"
He lifted one brow but said nothing.
"Surely another woman this night? Or perhaps you kept her around after last night?"
"No. Not tonight. I've words to speak with you."
"Yes."
He picked up the net. "I did not see you today."
"You sought me out?" Of course, he had. I was his thrall after all, but the question was out of my mouth before I could stop it.
If he thought one way or another about my impertinent mouth, he didn't say, Instead, he asked his own question. "I thought perhaps you made an attempt to escape. You have come far. Why?"
I sighed at that and rose from the stream to untie my dress and tug on my boots. "You need a bath, Halfdan of the Danes. You smell of that woman's quivering tits and thighs."
"And you smell of longing," he told me in that soft voice of his. No, he rarely raised his voice. He didn't seem to need to yell to ensure everyone listened. A rare thing among these wild men of the North.
I scoffed.
"You will come to me when you are ready."
"You keep saying."
"Because it is true."
I dismissed his words with a shake of my head and fell into step with him for the walk back to the farm. "Teach me to fight?"
He laughed. "Alright."
Nothing more was said of my disappearance. And he did nothing to punish me, rather, he seemed somewhat pleased by my daring and risky trip. Had he softened to me or decided not to use force? Perhaps, he only waited for a more opportune time to punish my disobedience.
When we arrived back at the farm, he set the net of fish aside while I gathered an axe from the woodpile.
Once more, we squared off in the yard.
Wary, I circled him, axe held before me to better control. He let me close the distance and then stepped out of the way of my tentative attack. I grinned, circled him once more.
"Do the women you fuck fight, Halfdan of the Danes?"
He shrugged. "My wife did." He let my axe slide off his, turned as I did.
"The others?"
"No."
I darted in, made a pass beneath his arm, backed away.
"You are not angry today."
Now I smiled. "Because it is you who wants me, Halfdan of the Danes. And you cannot find me between the thighs of other women."
He smirked. "You live beneath my roof, vixen. I could take you at any time."
"But you do not."
I shot forward, and he blocked me, pushed me back lightly.
"Not yet."
I rushed him, he disarmed me. My axe spun away and across the yard as he caught me up with his free hand to tap me on the forehead with the butte end of his axe.
I blinked in pain and shook my head to clear it as he dropped me. I staggered a moment before retrieving the axe from the mud.
"That hurt."
"You will hurt more should you be cut for your carelessness."
I circled him, studied the way he stood to defend himself. He nodded approval.
"I will attack you. What will you do?"
I backed away when he came at me and barely avoided the axe as he swung at my chest.
"You can do better," he told me before the next attack pushed me against the house with nowhere left to go.
I lowered my stance, axe at the ready.
"Better." He swung lightly and I managed to block, the blades crashing together between us.
He nodded, smiled. "Good."
I shoved him, and he stepped back to let me go by, turning as I went, ready when I brought my axe up to strike. He disarmed me again.
"You must watch me, not the axes, vixen. I see what you plan to do in your eyes before you ever move to do it. Watch me."
I retrieved the axe yet again, settled my stance, and met his gaze.
"Yes. Like that." He closed the distance to strike, halted the blow mid-way.
Instead of falling as I think he'd half expected me to do I used my momentum to duck and swung at his middle. He caught my axe with his own and threw it.
"You learn, vixen. You learn."
He turned to retrieve my axe.
"Halfdan of the Danes."
"What?"
I waited until he stood to look at me, curious. "Thank you."
A slow smile lifted his lips.
12
We ate dinner in silence. Halfdan was so lost in thought he barely seemed to taste the fish. After, he rose without a word and left the house.
He was deep in the water when I stepped out to stand on the dock. He gestured to me.
"The water is not too cold."
I stripped, then dove in only to surface next to him.
"I would have drawn a bath,"
"This is better."
"Is it?" I remained unconvinced as I trod water next to him.
"I would make one more raid this season."
He swam away, strong strokes taking him back to the dock in moments.
I followed to tread water a few feet away as he hauled himself up onto the dock.
He said nothing, merely watched me watched him. Waited in that quiet way of his.
Eventually, I went beneath the water to turn a slow backflip only to disappear under the calm waters.
I surfaced close to the pier, making a splash as I exited the water. "Will you raid once more upon the shores of Britain?"
I sat next to him to put on my shirt.
"Yes. Tell me, vixen. Tell me about the kingdoms of the land. Show me where they lie and how to reach them. For I would learn."
"I am no friend to them, Halfdan of the Danes. Yet, why should I speak to you of where their towns may be found? Perhaps you cannot take more than that which you fi
nd is right."
He patted my thigh. "You belong to me, vixen. Your duty is to speak these things to me when I ask them."
"Or you will throw me in shit once more?"
He laughed. "You get what you earn."
I considered him, then flipped the long tail of his hair off his shoulder. "Why do you wear it thus?"
"So there are no tangles, and I am not blinded during battle."
"Like you made mine."
"Mm,"
"Teach me how."
"You do not braid?"
"Always our hair was back to hide beneath a cloth. Pretty is a sin, they say. I've not braided since I was a girl."
He tugged the thongs from his hair. "Can you undo them without taking it in mind to yank me about?"
I laughed. "I can."
"Then do so."
I removed the braid from his hair, worked my fingers through until it hung free down the middle of his back. "Do all men grow pretty hair?"
"Yes." He chuckled. "You like my hair?"
"I said it is pretty. That is all."
"You wish to do a single braid?"
"I would learn how to make the braids you had before."
He tugged a lock loose of the whole to separate into three. "Very well. It will take time."
"Something we have much of this evening."
He scoffed. "You start with the right, bring it over the center, like this. Now you take the left and bring it over." He braided his own hair with deft fingers, showed me the way.
"It looks simple."
"Now you try."
I separated another lock of hair. "What do you wish to know, Halfdan of the Danes?"
"There was a town near the cloister whence you came?"
"Not too far, yes. Further up the coast."
"Which direction?"
"North and west. The land rises and a city grew up atop the hills. Easily protected from attack by land. Open to the sea, however."
"Hm. And up a hill?"
"Yes. The slope rises sharply from the sea to the fortress wall. It is not heavily protected as few would dare make the attempt."
"Why not?"
"Too easy to pour boiling oil and fire upon an attacker clinging to the grass."
"This town is well defended?"