by Sasha Leigh
And how they managed to avoid consequence.
The book probably could have helped Sera and Keston, had they been permitted to read it. My own experience would be in here. But if I saw anything helpful, I would pass it on to them—anything for love, especially my own.
CHAPTER THREE
My ability to multitask over the next few weeks was flawless. During the day, I continued to teach, preparing solid lessons for the students. I ignored the secret glances and covert touches between Sera and Keston—I didn’t want to see—and kept to the routine of spending my evenings in the library, though I only stayed long enough for my presence to be noted. Nothing changed, but everything I did was to hide my true endeavour: to read The History of the Fallen from cover-to-cover.
Every page was invaluable, loaded with secret information I was surprised I didn’t know—there wasn’t a lot within history I wasn’t aware of—and I was barely passed the halfway mark. Even if I’d had day and night to devote to it, completing the dissection of each passage would have taken a week, maybe two. If I wanted to keep my interest a secret, a couple hours each evening was all I could spare.
What would the Brothers do if they knew of my inaction towards moving on? That not only was I wallowing, I was actively pursuing ways around punishment if I disobeyed? Cast me out. The random visits to see how things were running didn’t fool me. The Brothers were watching.
A knock sounded at the door and echoed through my quarters, a small room with the basic necessities: a bed and a dresser. No mirror or bathroom, and the desk I sat at in the corner added only upon request. The fact that I had had to make such a request in lieu of manifesting it was ridiculous, but such were the perks of my demotion. But it wouldn’t last, and then I would be back to my role and no one would dream of knocking on my door, afraid of interrupting.
This was my first visitor.
Ever.
Standing, I gathered my notes and closed the book with them folded like a bookmark. Another knock sounded as I hurried to stow the book under the mattress of my bed—a layer of cloud held in place by a sheet—and then walked to the door. Who would be visiting? Somebody with more balls than brains, or somebody come to deliver bad news?
I sucked in a deep breath and then exhaled, my cheeks puffing out. Another knock began and I opened the door, finding the Seventh on the other side with his hands raised for a third rap.
“Brother?” I stepped aside, narrowing my eyes.
He smiled and came into the room, looking around. I stuck my head out the door, but the hallway was empty. Closing it, I turned to him with my arms crossed, confused. He was still smiling though, watching me like a cat who just found a mouse.
“Why are you here, Brother? Alone?”
“Honestly?” He shrugged. “I don’t really know.”
“Then why come at all?” Why wouldn’t he stop grinning?
The Seventh was only young compared to the rest of the Brothers, but as a group we were the oldest of all other beings, including the rest of our kind. He wasn’t dimwitted, and for him to be here meant there was cause. It didn’t make him any less annoying.
“There’s a meeting,” he said.
“And?”
“It’s a meeting for all the Brothers. Including you.”
“I have no duties right now and have been absolved of that title. When those are restored, I will partake in meetings, but until then?” I gestured around the room. “I have classes to prepare for.”
And I was midway through an enlightening passage I’d like to return to.
“The First said you would say that.” He grinned. “I am to inform you that you may not consider your attendance as a request.”
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, trying without success to keep it out of my eyes. “What is on the agenda?”
“You.”
Okay . . . he was still smiling. Did that mean my reading material remained unknown? It had to. If the First knew, he wouldn’t have bothered to call a meeting, and the Seventh Brother would have been exchanged for the First himself. There’d be no way I would have time to hide the book or indulge in pleasantries.
Shifting my weight, I asked, “What about me?”
“He said to tell you that you’ll find out once you arrive.”
“Do you know?”
He shrugged again as though it didn’t matter. If he was ordered not to say, he wouldn’t. I used to follow orders with a blind faith too, and learning to question everything is why I was here. It was both liberating and restrictive.
“Fine. But tell the First that he’ll need to find someone else to instruct the students tomorrow.”
“Excuse me?” Surprise and then confusion wiped away his smile. “Why are you interested in whether the students are given a spare period? Don’t humans love that kind of thing?”
“They are no longer human, and what they are learning is far more important than algebra. Besides, I promised to help some students with something.” It wasn’t a lie, though the promise had been to myself, and they weren’t aware of my efforts. If I had the day free I could help all of us: Sera, Keston, Alyssa . . . myself.
“Fine. It’s nice to see you’ve rededicated yourself to something.” If he only knew. “I will instruct your classes tomorrow.”
“You?” I didn’t expect that. “Have you ever instructed a class before?”
Could I trust him with my students? I’d grown fond of them and celebrated their progress, not just in what they learned, but their ability to let go of their death, of leaving their lives behind . . . and he just called them humans. Would the Seventh squander their efforts? My efforts?
“I can handle it. Before a few weeks ago, you hadn’t taught either.”
Good point. I remained skeptical, but what choice did I have? Asking anyone else would require further explanation, and doing it myself wouldn’t allow me to consider the possible solutions I’d found. Besides, it was one day. Surely he couldn’t mess it up beyond repair.
“Fine.” I bit my tongue to keep from taking it back.
His smile returned and he nodded. “Okay. I will come for you just before the meeting.”
I waited until the sound of his footsteps disappeared and then closed the door. After pacing for ten minutes to make sure I was going to remain alone, I grabbed the book and opened to where the pages were bookmarked, desperate to hurry with only one day to piece together my plan. Two plans. I wouldn’t be okay with finding happiness unless I could help Sera and Keston as well. And I might have finally found it, the “something” I didn’t know I was looking for, the missing piece that fit so perfectly, everything else moulded to its edges until it was secure at the center of my desire.
It was risky, but documented as having been done before—one time . . . with Lucifer, long before he fell. If I didn’t want to share his fate, I had to do it right.
I better get started.
***
The Viewing Room was filled with all seven Brothers. The Meeting Room would have been easier, or at least comfortable—more spacious, less confined. We would be able to breathe air that hadn’t just been exhaled by another. Why would the First gather us all together, and why here?
The First cleared his voice for silence.
“This meeting has been called to issue the reinstatement of the Second. All in favour?”
“Aye,” they chorused.
I blinked. Reinstatement? But I was comfortable at Glory Academy. Why was I being cleared so soon? Looking around, the confusion was replaced with smiles, and every Brother I looked to was watching me. My stomach churned. Shifting my weight, I cast my eyes to the floor. Keeping the truth from them wasn’t the same thing as lying, but it felt like acid my body couldn’t digest.
But telling them about my reading habits would feel like I was betraying Alyssa, and that would make acid taste like candy in comparison.
“Another task has been assigned,” the First said, and I lifted my head. “The Seventh will oversee the
school while the rest of us complete the duties of the Seventh and the Second.”
Wait. What?
“If I am reinstated, why won’t I be fulfilling my duties?” Unless they thought they had to reinstate me in order to punish me over The History of the Fallen . . . ? But none of them knew, and reading it wasn’t forbidden, just the reasons I was reading it, if I ever acted on my plans.
“A new task has been assigned, Brother,” he repeated. “Specifically for you.”
My stomach dropped. Licking my lips, I asked, “What task?” I narrowed my eyes on him. “I don’t want another task. I’m happy at the school, helping students while I get past . . . things.”
“This isn’t a request, Brother, and refusal leads to punishment worse than Glory Academy. We must go.”
“Where?” It was the question I dreaded hearing the answer to, but I couldn’t ignore the details.
“The Sisters.”
Of course it was the Sisters. All they ever did is meddle in others’ affairs, though they seemed wholly interested in me. Did the Sisters think they could break my heart twice? Make me love again? Because there is only one Alyssa Frank. It would be like placing me in the middle of a black and white movie and she was the only character in color.
“I need to go back to the school.” I laughed, turning to the left to face the door.
If the Seventh took on my role at Glory Academy he would assume my quarters, and that would lead to the book. I was finished with it, but needed it returned before I could pass on information to Sera and Keston. What I needed was memorized, burned like a brand on my brain, but they deserved a chance, which is exactly what I had found.
“The Seventh will—”
Turning back, I removed the emotion from my voice. Meeting his gaze, I said, “I need to see a couple of students, Brother. Transitioning into their new role is hard enough. The least I can do to help them is to say goodbye.” When he opened his mouth, I quickly added, “Another unexplained change won’t do them any good.”
The First pressed his lips together tight, and then inhaled. Tilting his head to study me, he asked, “You’ll agree to the task?”
“No. I will agree to meeting the Sisters and listening to what they want to task me with.” I would not be led with blind faith this time. “But I need to go to the school first.”
The room grew quiet as the First contemplated my acquiescence, limited as it was. I didn’t care what they thought of my demands. My students, the book, Alyssa, and myself. That’s what mattered. All of the oversights we as a group had made proved that, and no matter the assignment the Sisters proposed, nothing was more important.
I wasn’t blameless, but I’d seen the errors in our ways.
Could they?
“Fine.” The First nodded. “Go back to the Academy for your students. We leave tomorrow.”
Leave to where? He left the room before I could ask. The First might be bound by truth, but silence held no such restrictions—a don’t-ask-don’t-tell mentality. It was my fault I didn’t know when instead of thinking, I should have been speaking.
***
Being granted a final night made my decision to leave simple.
Finding Sera and Keston was even easier. They were in the Great Library, together, digesting the historical volumes they had been warned against. But as I was no longer an instructor, it was neither my place nor my will to take official notice. Still, I would have to be blind to miss the genuine chemistry sparking between them as Keston pointed to a book, said something as he put his hand on her waist, and she smiled up to him. A moment later his hand dropped, and if I hadn’t been watching, it would have almost been too quick to see.
The Seventh will have his hands full.
In a way, that made me happy.
They jerked apart the moment they saw me and then, only as an afterthought did they step away from the scrolls and texts they had been browsing. All three of us knew I’d seen them, the glint in Keston’s eyes challenging me to reprimand. But the uncertainty in Sera’s gaze would have halted me if that had been my intent.
Instead, I extended my hand, the same one that was carrying The History of the Fallen. “Here,” I said, and waved it from left to right in the air. “Leave those and read this.”
They looked at me, wary, but silent.
“Take it.” I waved my hand again. “I’ve bookmarked a page for you.”
Keston reached out and snatched it as though he believed I would change my mind.
“But I thought you said you couldn’t help us,” Sera said, still too afraid of her own shadow to speak above a whisper.
I looked from Keston to Sera, and smiled, shifting to lean my arm against the railing accompanying the set of stairs that led to the platform where the restricted texts where located. “The librarian hasn’t told you to step down from here?” I looked over my shoulder and back, shaking my head as I laughed. “Of course not. You said you were seniors, didn’t you?”
Sera raised her chin and shrugged.
“Well, she must like you because no one is in their final year until next week.”
Sera’s bravado faded. Keston laughed as her shoulders slumped and she bit her lip.
“I told you we should ask him.” Keston bumped Sera’s shoulder with his own, and smiled.
I was too surprised for it to be contagious. Keston had been my supporter? I hadn’t guessed she was the pessimist of the two. Shaking my head, a slow grin formed as I regarded them, and I said, “I’m leaving the Academy. Another Brother will resume instructing you.” Taking a step down, I paused, patted the railing twice, and took a deep breath. “Might I suggest you stay out of this section before you really do find yourselves in hot water?” I pointed to the book and nodded, then held Keston’s gaze. “All you need to know is in there.”
“Why are you helping us now?” he asked.
“Because you were right,” I said, and sighed. “And . . . because I’m leaving. But do me a favour and stop with the PDA, okay? Otherwise you won’t be free to read that before you’ve been caught.”
Keston dropped his arm and Sera stepped away from his side.
“Did you find a way to your mortal?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” If I put my plan into action? Yes. But first I had to hear what the Sisters wanted. Finding a way to Alyssa wasn’t the problem, but whether she could accept me when I did.
“But you’ve been trying?”
I nodded. He was a curious boy, interesting now that his guard was down. Maybe after my task—whatever it might be—was complete, I would request to instruct once more, at least until these two graduated. If they didn’t get punished first.
“I have to go.” Taking another step away, I nodded to the book again and started to turn away. “Read what’s there where I’ve bookmarked it for you. Use me as your endorser.”
“What do you mean?”
“Thank you,” Keston said overtop of Sera.
I nodded and left Sera’s question for them to discover for themselves as I exited the library. Helping them get their foot in the door, endorsing them so their relationship would be considered, was the right thing to do. If the Sisters’ “task” was anything like before, I wouldn’t be here to question. Even if I was, they deserved a chance to be heard, and to do that, their petition needed to be endorsed by a Brother.
Hopefully they were smart enough to read the book in private, but when I glanced back, their heads were crammed together to read the notes I’d made. Shaking my head, I smiled and turned to look forward, and paused. The Seventh sat at a table cloaked in shadows to the left of where I’d spoken with Sera and Keston, close enough to hear everything that had been exchanged. He had to know what they were doing, and my role in their plans. It was near enough to know that action was needed—authority with a firm hand—but still, the Seventh remained far enough that he could act as though he hadn’t seen it occur. Maybe I wasn’t the only Brother to have seen our errors. Perhaps the Seventh was exactly wh
o these two needed. I smiled, suddenly at ease with having to leave.
Humans as angels were new, and they needed fresh rules. They were children. Being robbed of life so soon should grant them a flexible afterlife, something they could enjoy. How else could they be expected to remain loyal?
CHAPTER FOUR
The next day the First was waiting for me in the Viewing Room alone.
I closed the door as I entered and turned, meeting the his watchful gaze. “You think it’s wise that we both are gone at the same time?”
He stood, pushing up from his seat on the bench with his hands on his thighs, and shrugged. “The Brothers can handle it, and we won’t be gone long.”
That was something, at least, but too vague to accept.
“So then where are we going?” I asked, and watched for any sign that the Seventh had shared what he had observed. But unless whatever was being asked had backs turned again, he hadn’t.
The First smiled. “To the Sisters.”
Okay . . . “But where are they meeting us?”
“In the Void.” He shrugged as if that would be easy to navigate.
But the Void is nothingness, a black hole between the worlds, and not just Heaven and Earth or even Hell, but all worlds. If you weren’t careful when you enter, it can spit you out in an undesirable world most unforgiving of trespassers. Once, I put my foot inside, but then I smartened up and pulled it back out. The Void couldn’t be ruled or tamed, and it was beyond any of our control. There wasn’t much that could scare an angel, but I wasn’t the only one who had been sent running from its fathomless depths. The cold darkness was insatiable.
“That’s insane, Brother,” I said, and took a step back towards the door. “I’ve had my moments of faithlessness I knew could lead to punishment, but not once have I been suicidal. The Void will devour anything that enters it, and if not, we’ll never end up where we desire, so why risk it?”
“Do not worry.”
My mouth dropped. “Are you ill?”
“Where is your faith?”
I cocked my head to the side and slanted an eyebrow. That was a very good question, the same thing they asked of me when I was sent to Glory Academy. I had an answer, but it was for me alone, for while I believed in the light and His command, and I wanted to be a part of what was coming so we can defeat Darkness, my faith lie in a girl. After all, a person’s faith—even an angel such as myself—lay in their hearts.