by Tessa Cole
Then the ripping pressure and cold vanished, leaving only pain and darkness, and I sagged forward, unable to stop my sobbing no matter how hard I tried to hold it back. God, I was so pathetic.
Strong hands drew me into a warm embrace, pulling me tight to a chest shuddering with ragged breaths, and I didn’t bother fighting it. It was clear I was weak. I couldn’t hide it if I wanted to.
“Is it done?” Cassius demanded… his voice across from me?
I dragged my eyes open, my throat tight as I fought to stop my tears. Cassius knelt in front of me, his hands on fire, glaring at Sebastian who sat with his forehead pressed against the floor, his back heaving with desperate breaths, while I lay in Titus’s arms.
A spark caught in the comforter, igniting it, and Cassius’s eyes flashed wide with fear. With a growl, he wrenched it and the rest of his flames back under his skin.
“Bane.” He jerked to his feet and stormed into the en suite bathroom where there wasn’t as much that could catch on fire, his body shaking with his bottled-up emotions. “Is she free?”
“No.” Sebastian shuddered and his glow dimmed again, revealing that worrying ashen complexion.
No?
My pulse froze.
I wasn’t free?
No, please. I can’t stay like this. I can’t. And I didn’t want to go through that kind of agony again.
A tear trailed down my cheek and I leaned into Titus’s embrace, not caring that he was a stranger, just needing the comfort of being held, something I hadn’t had in over a month and desperately missed. I was still trapped and my heart ached. I was sure he would be back to keeping everyone at arm’s length, including me, when this moment was done. It was just his shifter need for physical contact during stressful situations that made him hold me.
I could handle that. In fact, it was better than Cassius or Sebastian comforting me. I had no connection to Titus and he’d be gone once the leash spell was broken. It didn’t matter if he judged me for leaning on him, and I could just tell Cassius that I didn’t want to fight his shifter nature because he was so much stronger than me.
“I thought the charm was supposed to free her,” Cassius said, as a spark snapped from his hand and hissed as it hit the marble floor.
“It was.” Sebastian shuddered.
“You should have been able to break it,” Titus said. “You’re just as powerful as Deaglan.”
“No shit.” Sebastian turned his head just enough to glared at Titus with one eye, but surprise flashed across his expression when he saw me in Titus’s arms.
Embarrassment heated my cheeks, but I was still sore and shaking too much to focus on rebuilding my in-control demeanor. And I missed this. Missed the heat and security and reassuring pulse of life from another being.
“So now what?” I asked, hoping to cut off any teasing before it started. “There has to be something else you can do.” As soon as I voiced that out loud, my pulse beat faster with the fear that there wasn’t anything else to do and I was stuck never able to leave Titus’s side.
Titus’s grip tightened, putting pressure on my cracked ribs and making me gasp. His eyes widened and his arms relaxed a bit, but he didn’t let me go, as if he, too, still needed physical contact with someone, anyone.
“There is.” Sebastian grabbed Titus’s shoulder and sat up, using the big man to steady himself. “But it involves going to Left of Lincoln.”
“Left of Lincoln?” That was the underground market that originally had been setup in an abandoned store front just off the last left on Lincoln Street. Hence the name.
It wasn’t there any more and supposedly had grown from just a few illegal vendors to hundreds, but the name had stuck. After Michael’s war, many people had decided to live off the grid, unwilling or unable to return to normal life, creating a whole underground society, and Left of Lincoln was the main place in Union City for those people to buy the supplies they needed or desired — be they legal or illegal — using a variety of currencies, including standard cash, magical essence, magical abilities, blood, and services that were more often than not sexual in nature… or at least so I’d heard. I’d never been to the market.
I hadn’t needed to learn much about the off-grid world, since all I did was heal people regardless of how they chose to live their lives. I only knew what Left of Lincoln was, and that the JP, for the most part, turned a blind eye to it in favor of going after more dangerous criminals.
“If the charm is specifically attuned to our resonance, it’ll be easier to unravel the spell from your essences. But I don’t want to risk waiting around on a specialist to come to us. It’s better if we go to him. Which means all three of us have to go to Lincoln.”
“You mean all four of us,” Cassius said, stepping to the edge of the bathroom door, his fire gone but heavy smoke still curling from his hands and forearms. I was kind of surprised he hadn’t set off the smoke detector yet.
“Of course you’re coming,” Sebastian groaned. “Fine. All four of us. I need a shower and Amiah and Titus need clothes.”
“Amiah has clothes,” Cassius said.
“I saw, but she can’t go to Lincoln in scrubs. It’s bad enough both of you are angels. You, in your military chic, I can pass off as hired muscle, there are a few angels that do that sort of thing, but Amiah can’t go looking like a physician. Everyone will know she’s with the JP and no one will do business with me.”
“I’m not leaving to go to Operations to get a different change of clothes for Amiah,” Cassius said.
“It’s okay. I’ll be fine,” I assured him.
“Don’t worry about it.” Sebastian climbed to his feet. “My assistant has to bring clothes for Titus since nothing I own will fit him. I’ll just get her to bring something for Amiah too.” He staggered out of the bedroom, the soft glow emanating from his skin dimming and flaring back to life. “And Amiah, I suggest you do something about your neck. That bruise will attract all the wrong kind of attention.”
Titus’s golden gaze dipped to mine filled with a heart-stopping intensity. It made me ache, the look reminding me so much of Marcus and all his ferocious emotions. I hadn’t experienced his all-in love, not the love he gave to his mate, but I’d desired it, thought if I was patient it would be mine.
I pushed out of Titus’s arms, and stood on shaky legs. It was a mistake to have let him hold me, to give in to my desire for physical contact. Now his embrace just reminded me of what I’d never have—
No, of what I didn’t want. Really.
Chapter 8
Sebastian
I made it into my bedroom and closed the door before my knees gave out, dropping me to the hard marble floor, pain wracking my body.
Fuuuuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.
The resonance charm was supposed to have made it easier to break the leash spell. My old self would have been able to do it without the charm. A hard pull on my connection to the primal magic of Faerie combined with the charm should have been enough to do the trick.
But I wasn’t my old self. I was the new fucked up version thanks to my inability to mind my own fucking business.
God. I shouldn’t have agreed to help stop Lilith. What would it have mattered if she’d taken over this realm? There were other realms I could go to. I didn’t have to go back to Faerie. But damned if I didn’t like the mortal realm. No one gave a shit who I was, no one played sick games with me or anyone I cared about, and I’d been doing just fine until I’d stuck my nose where it didn’t belong.
I pressed my forehead to the cool marble floor and dragged in a ragged breath, trying to ease the pain. It burned through my magical channels in my head, heart, and hell, to the tip of every nerve ending with the caustic poison of demonic magic, something that wasn’t supposed to be in my body. Ever.
I couldn’t connect with the Realm of Celestial Darkness to use its magic. I couldn’t even make a connection to that realm. Which was why I couldn’t get the damned magic out of my system and pus
h out the poison.
Now, because the demonic magic kept getting in the way, I could barely reach the magic in Faerie, able to only channel a trickle of power when it used to be a flood. And yet I still risked all the side effects of channeling too much magic, because every time I tried to weave a spell, with or without a glyph to focus my power, the demonic magic exploded into an inferno, like a spark suddenly given oxygen.
As if just thinking about it gave it power, the demonic magic flared again, setting my skin on fire, forcing me to bite back a groan.
I doubted anyone was standing outside my door, but I didn’t want to risk them hearing me, just in case. They needed to think I was powerful enough to break the leash spell. Hell, I needed to be powerful enough to break the leash spell, because Titus and Amiah needed to be free of each other. Not to mention if I couldn’t break the leash spell, there was no way I’d be able to remove Amiah’s not-yet-awakened mating brand… if there was even a way—
No. There had to be a way. There was always a way. A soul bond was similar to any bonding spell, just on a more powerful level. If I figured out how to break or block her soul’s potential to make a bond, she should be able to live her life bond free.
And — I was a damned idiot — I really wanted her to have that. The idea of being permanently bound to someone for life was terrifying. I didn’t care how happy Esther Shaw was with her mates, the idea scared the shit out of me, and I knew Amiah had the same fear.
I’d seen a hint of that fear in her eyes when she’d swallowed her pride to ask for my help, and I’d seen all of that fear, clear and raw, when she thought the leash spell had been her soul bond. It had been a look of absolute panic, just for a second, before she’d regained her composure, but it had been clear as day.
Except if I couldn’t break a simple leash spell, how the hell was I going to deal with her soul bond?
I drew in another breath and, gripping the doorknob for balance, stood. I was going to have to get power from an outside source even though that still risked burning me up, and that was going to cost a lot… if I could even figure out how to break or block the mating brand.
Which wasn’t the thing I should be worrying about.
Why the hell did I keep thinking of Amiah? And why had it scared the shit out of me to see Titus’s hand around her throat, or pissed me off to see him mauling her like she was his security blanket while she’d been fighting her tears.
She was a pain in my ass with her ice queen attitude, and her sharp tongue, and her God damned insistence on spending every ounce of her magic healing people when she should just leave well enough alone.
Except fuck if I didn’t just love seeing that little flash of surprise every time I hit on her and then her following angry frustration as she tried to hide the fact that I’d caught her off guard.
Although her reaction last night had been different. Yes to the surprise, but consideration instead of anger.
Which shocked the hell out of me. I couldn’t believe she’d seriously thought about sleeping with me as payment to get rid of her mating brand.
But that only told me how desperate she was to have it gone.
Except that also pissed me off.
She thought I’d have sex with someone to make them pay off a debt. Yeah, there were a lot of supers who worked that way, but that was disgusting. A little no strings attached fucking was great. It was the way I preferred it. But everyone involved had to agree.
I staggered to my bathroom and turned on the shower, hoping the warm water would help me relax — since being tense made the demonic magic blaze hotter inside me even when I wasn’t trying to use my magic.
What Amiah thought of me didn’t matter. So what if we shared the same fear of being permanently bound to someone for the rest of our lives? I shouldn’t let that influence how I did business, and I needed to come to terms now with the fact that I wouldn’t be able to do anything for her and move on.
Which, God damn it, I didn’t want to accept.
Jeez.
What I really should be thinking about was helping Titus and the fact that he hadn’t been in hibernation all this time, but leashed like an animal in Deaglan’s court.
After Deaglan’s failed assassination attempt on me, I should have sent spies into his court. I shouldn’t have said fuck it and abandoned everyone, and I sure as shit shouldn’t have gone realm hopping without at least checking on Titus.
Except he hadn’t told me where he’d been hibernating. No one was supposed to have known. He’d just said he wake and find me when Faerie’s Heart started calling to him so I could remove or block that bond and he’d be free of his species’ curse.
Which was yet another bond I was supposed to be able to break.
I pulled off my pajama pants, stepped into the shower, and pressed my palms against the cool tiles, trying to focus on the spray hitting me.
I couldn’t believe the Heart had awakened already. Faerie was going to be a battle ground with each court desperate to get their hands on it or stop someone else from getting it. That was how Titus ended up the last of his species. There hadn’t been many dragons to begin with, but the last time the Heart had awakened the Summer Court had decided no one should have it and the only way to ensure that was to exterminate the only species with a direct connection to it: dragonkind.
I didn’t know if the king of the Summer Court had changed his mind since then, but I had no doubt even if he had, some other monarch would decide Titus was too dangerous to live.
I couldn’t allow Amiah to get caught up in this mess. She might be a pain in my ass, but she didn’t deserve what was coming Titus’s… and now my way. I had to separate them as soon as possible, which meant I had to get my shit together.
And that started with telling Titus to stop calling me by my birth name. Seireadan had died the night Deaglan and Enowen, my betrothed, had tried to kill me, and I sure as shit didn’t want to keep being reminded that I’d been a lovesick fool. I didn’t need Titus bringing up details about a time I’d worked damned hard to forget, and I certainly didn’t need Amiah asking questions about it.
Chapter 9
Titus
Seireadan — who didn’t look or smell like Seireadan — left. The only reason I recognized him was because of the spell he’d wrapped in my soul so I could find him once I’d come out of hibernation and he could sever or block my connection to Faerie’s Heart.
I didn’t know why he had a glamour spell on him hiding his identity, and I had a terrible feeling a lot had happened in the five hundred years I’d been Deaglan’s prisoner.
Amiah and the other angel left as well, closing the door behind them, and I headed into what had to be the bathing room to clean off the blood crusted to my now mostly healed body. My reflection in the large mirror over the white marble sink would have been laughable with all the bandages wrapped around me if it hadn’t been proof of how injured I’d been — since Seireadan, who knew how fast I healed, had still let Amiah bind my wounds.
My pulse raced at the thought of her and I rubbed my face as if that would help me think straight… which it didn’t.
I sliced off the bandages with a claw then turned my attention to what I hoped was a waterfall or rain-shower stall. Even taking the time to figure out that the silver handle with the dial made water spray from a disk near the ceiling and that turning the handle adjusted the temperature — not like Faerie where magic adjusted the temperature with a thought — couldn’t get her off my mind.
I had no idea why I’d grabbed her and held her close.
She’d been crying from what I knew was agonizing pain — a pain that had seized me as well — and my instincts had kicked in and all I’d wanted was to hold and reassure her.
Which was crazy. I didn’t know her, and I sure as hell didn’t know if anything was going to be okay.
But we were in the same boat, and I’d seen the fear and hurt in her eyes when she’d tried to tell me I was safe. She knew what it was like to be
imprisoned. I didn’t know how or why an angel like her would end up in such a terrible situation, but without a doubt, she’d felt that fear before.
With that look and her crying, I’d been unable to resist my nature, the nature that made dragons entwine their bodies with their mates. I had to touch her, steady her soul against mine, show her she wasn’t alone — as well as use her to steady my own shaking soul.
I stepped into the washing stall that was barely wide enough for me and let the warm water rush over my skin.
It would have been even better if she’d been naked. Full flesh to flesh contact to properly ground us… or rather me since she wasn’t a dragon and didn’t have the same need. Except that would have created a whole new problem.
My beast wanted her, and her being naked would have made it close to impossible to rein in that even more powerful primal emotion. An emotion that had roared to life the moment I’d pinned her to the bed and met her gaze — probably because I’d been without sex or even a compassionate touch for half a millennium and was starved for contact.
Yeah. That was it. My beast had latched onto the first female I’d encountered since escaping.
Except, as much as I wanted to deny it, there was more to my desire for Amiah than her just being female. While there’d been surprise and fear in her eyes when I’d grabbed her, there’d also been a fierce determination that had excited my beast.
That excitement had only grown when she’d risked her life to stop me from ripping out the other angel’s throat even though she knew it’d take nothing for me to hurt her. And it had grown again with the look she’d given me when Seireadan had been trying to break the leash spell, as if she, by herself, would keep me safe from whatever was coming.
Which was the stupidest thing ever. She was small and fragile, and given that she had healing magic, I doubted she had another power that could hurt me or anyone else if she was threatened. She couldn’t protect herself let alone me.