“I don’t usually talk about them.” It was a well-known fact that it was useless to ask me about their meanings. There were some I’d explain vaguely, but others I hadn’t told a single soul about. “I’ll tell you about them, though.”
Since the majority of the ones I didn’t talk about had been etched onto my skin in the time just after I’d arrived in LA, when I’d still been absolutely fucking gone for this girl and heartbroken over losing her, she already knew the story behind them anyway.
She ran her fingers over the first one she’d touched again. It was a small but ornate arrow on the inside of my forearm just above my wrist with two feathers dangling from the shaft. “What is this one all about? It’s beautiful.”
“It’s about finding direction in life.” I didn’t add what the feathers meant, but it was way too soon into our first fake date for that.
Anna smiled, and even though it seemed sad, it was still warm. “I’m glad you found your direction. I always knew you would.”
“Speaking of finding direction.” I slowed us to a stop when we got to the bicycle rental shack. “I’m about to show you I still know where things are at in this town.”
“We’re renting bicycles?” Her lips twitched. “You could’ve just told me. I’ve got one at my place. We wouldn’t have had to rent one for me.”
“We’re just renting the one. A two-seater.” I grinned at the look of pure disbelief on her face, leaving her outside while I went to pay the man. It was a young guy I didn’t recognize, but he was as friendly as everyone else and sent me on my way with a massive smile on his face.
Anna laughed when I pushed our bike up to her. “You’re serious about this?”
“I’m always serious about cycling.” I rang the round bell attached to the handlebars and motioned for her to get on. “Your chariot awaits, milady.”
She dipped into a curtsy before she laughed again, then climbed on while I held the bike steady. “I haven’t been on one of these in years. Jessie and I tried it once to take a tour of the lilacs during the festivals. We were terrible at it.”
“We’ll be fine,” I assured her. It might’ve been a while since we’d done this together, but it’d always gone fine for us in the past. “So, shall I show you around downtown? I don’t know if you know this, but the fudge around here is to die for.”
“You don’t say? I guess we’d better try some.” As I’d expected and hoped, we found our rhythm really fast once we took off.
People around town waved at Anna, then did double-takes when they realized who I was. Some must already have heard I was around because they didn’t look nearly as shocked to see me there as others.
We stopped to talk to some old friends while we pedaled around the downtown area. Then we parked the bike to explore the docks. Lucky for me, we didn’t run into her old man while we were there.
Although we weren’t holding hands, we seemed to gravitate naturally toward each other and were never as far apart as strangers might have been.
“What’s California really like?” she asked. “Do you enjoy living there?”
“It’s a lot like you’d think it would be, but it was also a complete surprise to me when I first got there. Los Angeles is huge and loud, and I nearly got mowed down by cars at least ten times a day.”
“Really?” She choked back a laugh. “Actually, I can imagine that. I don’t even fare well in Mackinaw. I never remember how fast cars go around corners.”
“Exactly. It’s not just the cars, either. Everyone is in a hurry there, so it’s either bumper to bumper traffic, or even the buses are flying past you.”
Amusement shone from her eyes when she glanced up at me, warming the hazel until it looked like melted caramel with emeralds swirling in it. “How long did it take you until you were used to that?”
“Too long.” I scratched absently at my jaw, trying to remember the first time I’d truly felt at home in LA. “Probably around eighteen months. I’d seen my life flashing before my eyes so many times by then that I kind of missed it when it was gone.”
Anna laughed yet again, and I realized it sounded exactly like it used to. It felt damn good to hear it. She laughed more easily than I remembered, though.
Or maybe Hollywood had just made me more jaded and less used to carefree laughter. She asked me about my life and told me more about hers, all the while walking beside me and keeping her attention on me.
I didn’t even know if she had her phone on her, although I suspected it was in the small purse hanging from a worn leather strap over her shoulder. If the device was in there, she didn’t feel the need to check it once.
Time spent with Angelina had never been like this. She was constantly on her phone or asking me to take pictures of her for all of her social accounts.
But Anna? She was carefree and in the moment, perfectly content to walk around the town we’d grown up in while asking me about everything from the smallest, most mundane details of my life to what my proudest moment so far had been.
“My proudest moment?” I grinned. “When I won my first award. Hands down. Yours?”
She pursed her lips and moved them from side to side before averting her gaze and focusing on the water in the bay. “I think it was when I realized Dad and I had done it. His scans had come back clean and we still had a roof over our heads and food on our table. It felt like we’d faced down a monster and had come out whole on the other side.”
A familiar milkshake stand came into view when we turned a corner, and my heart lurched in my chest. “Is that really Mac’s?”
“One and the same.” She smiled. “Little Mac is even still serving there.”
“Really? Wow.” I grabbed her hand—and the touching had nothing to do with faking our reconnection this time—without even stopping to think about it, pulling her over to the stand we used to frequent as teenagers. “Should we have one? I definitely think we should.”
“Let’s do it,” she agreed, following me without releasing my hand.
When we stepped under the faded red and white awning, Little Mac spotted us and his jaw nearly came unhinged. “Anna Holland and William Kent? Now there’s a sight for sore eyes. I never thought I’d see you two here together again.”
Little Mac was at least seventy, with a massive belly, silver-gray hair, and piercing blue eyes. He’d had the nickname since we’d met him, and while no one really knew where it’d come from, it had stuck.
“How are you?” I asked, grinning as I reached over to shake his hand with my free one. “If I’m being honest, I didn’t know if you’d see it again either, but here we are.”
“Well, I’m happy for you kids. What can I get you?”
I tightened my grip on Anna’s fingers and glanced down at her. “Is strawberry still your favorite flavor?”
She nodded. “Yep. Bubblegum for you?”
I wouldn’t know. I hadn’t had a milkshake since I’d left here, but I shrugged and ordered the same thing I always had.
Little Mac turned me down when I tried to pay him, so I ended up sticking all the money into his tip jar when he wasn’t looking. We waved goodbye before making our way over to a bench that overlooked the lake to have our milkshakes.
It was bright blue in the late afternoon sunlight and beautiful in the spring, which was my favorite season around here. Anna’s leg pressed up against mine on the short bench, but I didn’t try moving it away.
“I wasn’t trying to ignore what you said about your dad earlier. I just thought we needed sustenance for the conversation when I saw Mac’s. Tell me about him. How is he really?”
“You want the surface level stuff or the real stuff?” She didn’t look at me when she asked, her gaze firmly fixed on the calm waters in front of us.
“The real stuff. The deep stuff. I already know he’s healthy and doing well. What other surface level stuff is there?”
“I suppose just that he’s back at work. He still hasn’t even tried getting into a relationship even thoug
h I think it’d be good for him, and he still loves game night.” I watched her profile while she spoke, seeing the porcelain skin around her eyes tightening. “That’s all the surface level stuff. You sure you want to go deeper?”
“Yes. We can still be friends, Anna. I’d really like to know what’s going on with him.” I’d always felt like shit that I’d left when I had. Even though she’d broken up with me, I realized later that I’d left one of my best friends at one of the lowest times in her life.
The least I could do now was to buckle down and hear about what I’d missed. She took a long sip of her milkshake, rolling the thick ice cream around in her mouth before she swallowed.
Her hazel eyes cut to mine, vulnerable but filled with steely resolve at the same time. “You can’t ever tell him you know about this, and you aren’t allowed to offer to help me.”
“You have my word.” It would probably kill me to keep it, but I knew very well how serious she was.
She let out a breath and nodded before turning back to the lake. “We’re still in piles of debt. It weighs incredibly heavily on him, and I’m worried that he’s going to worry himself to death or at least into a heart attack about it.”
Her hand was on the bench between us, and I edged mine closer to hook my pinkie finger around hers. “I’m sorry, Anna.”
She let me wrap my finger around hers, then squeezed it. “Enough of the deep stuff yet?”
“Nah. I can take it.” I sipped my milkshake, trying to appear like I could handle more, when in reality, helplessness was closing in on me.
“He also struggles with his guilt over everything I gave up to take care of him,” she said, not letting go of my finger but also not looking at me.
“I know you gave up everything,” I said softly, but when she turned her head slightly to look at me, there was something in her eyes that said I didn’t know the whole story. Something that said her definition of everything was different to mine.
Chapter 16
ANNA
William might be a celebrity now, but I was starting to realize that he wasn’t as different from who he used to be as I’d thought. Talking to him about all this was surprisingly easy, even if the only other person who I’d ever spoken to about it before was his sister.
I hadn’t expected opening up to him would still come so easily, but it did. Being with him again today had been so comfortable that it felt like no time had passed. Like we were still just as close as ever.
If it wasn’t for the fact that we were getting caught up on things we’d otherwise have known about each other, I wouldn’t have believed that it’d been so long since we’d last spoken properly.
We sat in silence after my last confession, though. He looked at me with his head half cocked and his eyes half narrowed, like he was trying to figure something out. He didn’t know that when I said I’d given up everything, I meant I’d given him up, but he looked at me like he was wondering if that could be it.
When he finally tore his gaze away from mine, he settled back against the concrete bench and drained at least half of his milkshake. “I’m sure you’ve done everything you can to let him know he doesn’t have to feel guilty about it. You made your own choices, and if I know you, you don’t regret a thing.”
“You’re right. I don’t.” I felt guilty about lying to William, but I didn’t regret telling him I was in love with someone else.
All I had to do was look at how his life had taken off after he’d left here, and some of the guilt left me. I’d seen the pride in his eyes when he’d talked about winning all those awards and I’d heard the wistful note in his voice when he’d told me about LA.
He loved his life there, and it never would’ve happened if we hadn’t broken up. “I just wish I could get him to believe that giving it all up was worth it, you know? I got to spend a ton of time with my dad. I’m not sorry that I missed partying or anything like that, and I learned a sense of financial responsibility early on.”
“I understand why that was your proudest moment,” he said, his voice as deliciously smooth as my milkshake but there was an edge to it I didn’t understand. “You guys made it through a lot together. Hearing that he was cancer-free after everything you did to keep you guys going must have meant the world.”
“It really did.” I slid my hand farther underneath his, turning my palm up to wind our fingers together. “There is something I regret, though.”
“Yeah?” He glanced at me, securing his grip on my hand. His Adam’s apple bobbed as if he were swallowing, but he hadn’t taken another sip of his milkshake. “What’s that?”
“I should’ve gone to your father’s funeral.”
“That was four years ago, Anna. I’m not going to deny that I wondered at the time why you weren’t there, but it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I should have reached out to you when he died and I should’ve gone to the funeral. I still wish that I had.”
“So why didn’t you?”
“I wanted to be there for Jessie, but I couldn’t bring myself to see you.” Saying the words out loud felt like I was firing a shot into the dark. I was hoping I didn’t hit anything, but our past was such a looming presence that I knew I could hit the volatile part of it at any moment.
A crease appeared between the slashes of his dark eyebrows when he turned to me. “You couldn’t bring yourself to see me? Why not?”
I bit my bottom lip, my eyes closing as I tried to find the courage to come clean. Eventually, I realized that the only way to say it was to come right out and say it.
“I was afraid to see you,” I said. “Afraid old feelings might come back if I did. I didn’t know what I’d do if that happened, so I avoided the possibility altogether. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.”
He sucked in a sharp breath, green eyes darkening on mine. “You’re the one who broke up with me, remember? Why would you have been afraid of old feelings resurfacing eight years after you lost them in the first place?”
I nodded when he reminded me of what had happened. It wasn’t like I could or would deny it. “I remember, but I questioned that decision every day for years afterward. It was only when your career exploded and Netflix signed you on that I knew I’d done the right thing.”
“What do you mean?” That edge was in his voice again and his eyes seemed to have latched on to mine. I didn’t know about him, but I was barely breathing at this point.
The intensity of the emotions I was feeling and the agony of the wounds we were about to scratch open if we kept going down this road were just too much. “Never mind. All I meant was that I was happy to see you made a success of yourself, and it made me realize that we were never meant to be after all.”
He frowned deeply, but after looking so intently into my eyes that I wondered what he was really seeing, he shook his head. I’d silently pleaded with him in my mind not to continue with that subject, and he must’ve somehow known—maybe that was what he’d seen.
I couldn’t tell him that I’d lied about there being someone else when I broke up with him. We had to keep this thing between us now simple. Straightforward. “We shouldn’t be talking about feelings and that kind of thing anyway. It’s probably around time to take the bike back to the rental place. Should we go?”
He lifted his arm, checking the very expensive-looking black watch on his thick wrist. “You’re right, but this isn’t the end of that conversation. We don’t have to get into it all today. I know we’re getting to know each other again, but we’re finishing it before I leave this island.”
My heart sank to my shoes when he mentioned leaving, but that was one of the reasons why we had to keep things simple. Just two friends hanging out to fulfill a mutually beneficial agreement. I can do that. Of course I can.
When we got back to the place we’d rented the bicycle from, the early evening was in full swing downtown. There were more people around than there had been earlier since most of the shops were closed now, and lots of tourists had taken
to the streets for the cooler part of the day.
Several people recognized William, and once the first one approached him for his autograph, it seemed he was fair game. I shook my head discreetly, tucking the strands of my hair that had escaped my ponytail during the day behind my ears. This was madness. Some of these people had known him when he was in diapers, for heaven’s sake.
“Are you okay?” I murmured to him under my breath after we’d returned the bike.
He bumped his arm into my shoulder, ducking his head to shoot me a grin. A piece of his dark hair fell over his forehead, and combined with those eyes and his now-normal black getup, the effect was devastating.
“I’m fine. This isn’t nearly the same hectic energy that’s around me in LA. Most of these people know I was born and raised here.”
“Welcome home, William,” someone called at that very moment, and he inclined his head toward the voice. “It’s nice to see you back.”
“People don’t usually thank me for my time there, and they’re definitely not this welcoming,” he said.
I watched his interactions with the locals a little more closely after he made that comment.
Everyone, even the tourists, thanked him for his time. They asked politely for his autograph, waited patiently while he signed something or took a picture with those ahead of them, and then left him be.
It was strange thinking that he was so used to people swarming around him that he didn’t even blink at this scene. Strange but also kind of cool. It was the first time I was really seeing him as the celebrity I knew him to be, and it made me proud of the man he’d become.
Once the fervor died down a little, he grinned and tugged me closer to him. He didn’t hold my hand like he had earlier, but that was okay. I was pretty sure that had only been for emotional support between two friends, and neither of us needed that kind of support right now.
“You know,” he said as we were walking away from the bicycle rental area on the main square, “I’m not used to people being so respectful of my time or space. It was pretty fucking awesome getting to interact and not be mobbed or held hostage for hours on end.”
The Billionaire’s Second Chance: A Small Town Romance Page 10