Cash and Lux took a seat at the blackjack tables while Nyx and I sat at the bar. I was still trying to pick her mind about my lost memories, but she knew what I was doing and took pleasure in watching me squirm.
A group of young men kept staring at us from across the bar. Their excitement and curiosity pelted me like little darts, and I had a hard time ignoring them. The bravest of the group finally got the nerve to approach us.
"Excuse me?" He stammered, then looked back at his friends for one last boost of courage.
When he looked at Nyx, I felt his bones rattling with nerves. Don't get me wrong, Nyx was a beautiful woman, and that dress could have killed a lesser man, but this reaction to her was strange.
"I'm a huge fan. I've got a poster of each of your movies in my dorm. Would you mind taking a photo with me?" he asked.
Nyx's eyes shined brighter and she grinned wide at the guy, before obliging him.
They posed for a selfie and he asked her to sign his arm. I studied the signature and was extremely confused by it. Once the guy retreated heroically back to his friends, I turned to Nyx and cast her a curious stare.
"Why does that guy think you're Mila Kunis?"
"Because I look exactly like her."
"No...you don't."
Nyx wet her lips and held up the drink menu. When she lowered it again, it wasn't Nyx sitting there. It was Mila. She smiled and took a sip of her drinks then fanned herself with the bar menu again, and the glamour slipped away.
"Impressive," I admitted.
The boys at the table sent over a tray of rainbow colored shots and raised their glasses to us. Nyx lifted one glass up in salute and tossed it back. She blew him a kiss for good measure and glared at me. "Your turn. Don't want to be rude."
I pursed my lips and stared back at her, then turned my attention to the group of boys howling and cheering me on happily.
"Fine." I sighed and lifted an indigo shot to my lips and tipped it back.
Nyx leaned forward, rested her chin on her fists and stared at me. "Tell you what." She grinned wickedly. "You match me, shot for shot, and I'll see what I can do about those memories of yours." She touched the tip of her forefinger to my forehead. "What do you say?"
I took a long look at the plethora of shots laid out in front of us and considered my options. All things considered, this wasn't a terrible request. I'd have expected a lot worse in exchange for my memories.
I reached out and grabbed a red shot, sucked it down and slammed the glass on the table.
"Woo!" Nyx cheered. She took the matching red shot in front of her and knocked it back.
With each drink, I felt myself getting hotter, my brain slowed and my power slipped in and out of me. I knocked over a few chairs and even tripped a waitress by mistake. Nyx and I were a pile of giggles by the time we reached the last shot. Together we raised the bright yellow liquid to the sky, clinked the glasses together and poured them down the hatch.
With a hiss and a sigh, I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms. "Pay up."
Nyx wiggled her fingers in the air. "I think I'm a little too wasted to be poking around in that tortured brain of yours."
"You promised me!" I said louder than I'd expected and covered my mouth quickly.
Nyx let out a shriek and covered her mouth too. We spent the next several minutes shushing one another before the laughter died down and the room began to glow.
"I'm just saying, I think you would be happier with the results when I'm not shwasted."
I narrowed my eyes and said, "nyet." I pointed my finger at her, unwavering. "You promised me."
Nyx rolled her eyes, and with a wave if her hand, the bar melted away.
I couldn’t feel the booth I was sitting in or the air conditioning blasting down from the vent above our table at the bar. Instead, my fingers roamed through warm sand. The ocean roared as the waves crashed only a few feet away. A little girl ran past me on her way to the water’s edge. Her dark hair fell in long waves down her back and flicked salt water at me as it bounced from side to side.
It was Mia. She was no more than three years old, which made me around seven. she raced back and forth from the approaching surf to the sand castle I’d constructed. She carried a tiny green bucket of water and slowly poured it into the moat I’d dug out.
Mia giggled as she buried her feet in the sand. We lay together, pretending we were mermaids sunning ourselves.
“My best day,” I whispered.
I closed my eyes and reveled in the warmth of my body and the rhythmic sound of crashing waves. A cloud rolled overhead, blocking the sun. Goosebumps raised over my skin, and there was a sudden chill in the air. I opened my eyes to find the beach had disappeared.
I was in a little girl's bedroom. The walls were a pale lavender with white lace curtains and matching bedding. When my eyes focused, I saw that the room was a mess. It looked like it had been ransacked. The bed and dressers were toppled over. Mia was there, too. She was crying in a pile of clothes and stuffed animals, clinging fiercely to a stuffed dog. I was buried deep in the closet, digging through it, throwing things around with my telekinesis. I was looking for something.
I found what I was looking for. It was a charm bracelet with a blue sapphire pendant in the shape of a heart. I brought it to Mia and tied it around the dogs neck like a collar. Her eyes widened and she smiled brightly, touching the jewel. When she looked up at me, her face shifted slightly, and suddenly, she was Bebe. We were sitting in the Lair. I looked around, confused.
Nyx was there, standing over me in the vision. "It's not coming out clearly. It's warped because your mind is filling in the gaps with probabilities and familiar things." She kneeled down and touched my face. The room came back to me. The colors were different, and it was no longer a warm, sunny day. Rain pelted the glass window and wind howled outside our bedroom. Mia was still smiling up at me, happy and full of adoration. Nyx was gone.
The door opened and my mother stepped into the room. Her face was a mix of mine and Mia's. I didn't know if that was really what she looked like, or if I'd just filled in the gaps like Nyx had said. She was angry with me. She snatched the bracelet from the stuffed dog's neck, and started screaming at me about the mess. Mia was crying again. I hugged her and closed my eyes as the room began to shake and the sound of my mother's voice faded to a hum. It sounded like tires rolling over the highway.
When I opened my eyes we were in a car. I was older and so was Mia, but she was still sobbing. My mother was driving. Her hands gripped the wheel tightly and I felt the tension in her. It felt like my body was being stretched in opposite directions. Her limbs were shaking and teeth were grinding. She pulled into a parking lot and sat for a moment. She was a wreck. Her face was worn and aged with worry. She lit up a cigarette and took a long drag, and then breathed the smoke out in a shaky exhale.
She wouldn't look at me.
I looked out the window and saw where she'd taken us. Vines climbed the sides of the tall, brick building. Terror sliced through my chest when I realized we were at Hawthorn House. At the time, I hadn't known, so I didn't react until we were met at the door by Stone herself. She motioned for two men in white jumpsuits to take me in. They grabbed me by the arms and guided me forward. That's when I realized what was happening. My memory was cracking, jumping back and forth in time as the men dragged me away from my mother and sister.
I begged my mother to come back. I screamed and kicked. I lashed out with my power, tearing the doors off their hinges when they closed on me. The walls were shaking. Mia was screaming. More men rushed toward me. It took eight of them to hold me down, but my power could not be contained. The cars in the parking lot crunched into boulders and hurled at the building. They smashed into the brick. Chunks of the building and metal from the cars rained down on us. I felt the needle slide into my neck. The last thing I saw was my mother running away from the building, Mia slung over her shoulder, crying and reaching for me.
I blinked away tears and was suddenly sitt
ing quietly in another room, but this time I recognized the room I was in. Jason and I called it the white room. It was our first memory after the rinse. It was a waiting room just outside the examination rooms in the first Hawthorn. The walls and furniture were all white and it had this disinfectant, clean smell to it that burned my nose. I was alone at first. I felt cold and scared, but at the same time I'd never felt so empty and numb.
I remembered what happened next, and drew my attention to the door. A moment later, it opened and a thirteen-year-old Jason was ushered in. He sat beside me and took my hand without hesitation. It was so long ago, but it felt like no time had passed. I squeezed Jason's hand and held my breath. He squeezed back and told me we'd stick together. When our eyes met and our fingers interlocked, the trembling fear that radiated inside of each of us dissipated. I hadn't felt that way since the first raid on Hawthorn tore us apart.
"That's all I can access," Nyx said.
I was seated at the bar again, my head still foggy from the drinks. I wiped the tears from my eyes and shook off the lingering emotions of my memories.
"Thank you," I said hoarsely, clearing my throat.
"You're lucky," Nyx said, taking a sip of a drink that must have been delivered to during my hallucination.
"Excuse me?"
"If they'd allowed you to keep those memories, things may have gone very differently for you. In fact, I'm sure you would not be the girl before me." She finished her drink and her eyes leveled on mine. "You may have even turned out more like me." Nyx winked and took a deep breath, releasing it with a sigh. "I can think of a few memories I'd like erased."
Nyx's giddy high had felt like warm sunshine. It cast the world in a golden glow, but as her mind drifted into her past, the world turned blue and my body felt a little colder.
"Like what?" I asked.
"It wouldn't interest you."
"I'm not asking you for my entertainment. I'm asking because you sound like you need to talk about it."
"I don't." She looked away from me. Her eyes were misty and I felt like I was going to cry. I wasn't in control of myself or my power. I couldn't help but immerse myself in her emotions, and I was having a hard time digging my way out of them.
"Honestly, this moment..." I placed my forefinger on the table and leaned in closer to her. "It is the first time I've found you even remotely relatable. You don't seem like a girl who has a lot of friends. Maybe you should take this opportunity to vent a little to someone other than your brother because, frankly, that relationship creeps me out."
"Fine!" Nyx's eyes were wide and I felt annoyance drowning out the previous sadness. "Please just stop rambling?"
I motioned for her to go on.
"Lux and I were orphans. We were in and out of shelters our whole lives. Once we'd mastered our power, we worked our way up the food chain, so to speak. We found ourselves well suited for certain jobs that made us very powerful allies for the underground criminal organizations in Moscow.
"Oh?" I leaned in closer.
"We'd lived on the streets or in group homes with dozens of other unloved, forgotten children. We had nothing and had to fight for basic survival. We were only thirteen when Lev found us. He ran the largest crime ring in the city." Nyx's eyes shifted to the left. The empty table next to us was suddenly occupied by a tall, slender man in a dark gray suit. He had thick, black hair and a well-manicured beard. He was staring right at us, a sly smile on his lips. When I saw Nxy and Lux appear on either side of him, I understood that she was showing me a vision of Lev. Red lights lined the dance floor, filling the room with a warm, passionate aura. The music started playing all around us. It was a slow, steady rhythm with a hypnotic melody and a base line that reverberated in my chest when it hit.
"He gave us a life, a purpose. For seven years, we reported to Lev and answered only to him. We did whatever he asked." Lev stood and took Nyx's hand. He pulled her in close and began to dance with her. Lux stood in the corner, standing guard. "In return we lived a lavish life, free of restrictions. It was like nothing we'd known before."
Lev's left hand clasped Nyx's left. His right arm was firm around her waist, pressing her body to his. Their cheeks touched as they moved across the dance floor. Their dance was controlled, precise. Her body followed his every command. He would dip her low, bringing her back to her feet in a slow curving motion until their eyes met again. When she would twist away, he would pull her back to him, eyes locked together. Their lips brushed lightly against one another.
"I was his weapon and my brother was like a son to him," Nyx continued. Lux was no longer alone in the corner. Two women circled him like hungry sharks. Their hands trailed over his body, but his eyes did not stray from Lev and Nyx. "Lux was showered with money, cars, jewels and women. In return, he gave Lev unwavering loyalty."
Nyx's eyes shifted from the image of Lux to the opposite corner where another man joined the apparition of her and Lev. He was just as tall, with lighter hair and a clean-shaven face. His eyes were a cloudy gray color, and followed Nyx around the dance floor. "I met Niko on a job. He was Lev's greatest adversary. He was slowly taking everything from Lev and pushing him out of the way."
Lev's mouth gravitated to Nyx's lips. She gripped him tighter around his neck and reached out with her other arm, fingers twisting and stretching toward the other man. Their hands touched and the red lights dimmed. In the darkness, the transfer was made. When the lights came up again, the room was bathed in deep purple light. Niko held Nyx in his arms. Dark shadows danced around them. Lev stood watching from the darkness, eyes glowing like a wild animal.
"Lev sent me to Niko to kill him. Within moments of meeting him, I knew I could not do what was asked of me. After the first night we'd spent together, I knew I never wanted to spend another night apart. So Niko had taken one more thing from Lev."
"Seriously? You were going to kill him?"
Nyx nodded and her eyes flickered to mine. "I've killed lots of people, Liv."
"Niko took me away from Moscow, but apart from my brother, my power is not as strong. Lev found us."
I shifted my eyes back to the dance floor where Nyx and Niko danced in slow, intimate circles, clinging fiercely to one another. Lev circled them and stepped into the light as Niko dipped Nyx backward. Lev raised a gun and a shot rang out. The purple lights exploded and the dance floor slowly turned red again. Niko's blood sprayed over the three of them. Nyx was crouched down over his body, crying out in pain. Lev pointed the gun at her, but she didn't fight back. She just closed her eyes.
In an instant, Lux was at Lev's back. He dragged a jeweled dagger across Lev's neck, opening his veins and spilling his blood onto the dance floor to mingle with that of his enemy. Lux dropped the knife and stared down at his sister. He was shaking with fury and indecision, wracked with sorrow for what he'd done, what his sister had forced him to do.
"He hated me for making him choose between us." Nyx's voice was low and pained. "But in the end, it was never a choice. We are all each other really has and we are incomplete apart. We will always do whatever it takes to keep each other safe. Nothing and no one is more important."
Lux held out his hand to Nyx and lifted her into his arms, cradling her as she cried and frantically whispered apologies. The lights dimmed again and the vision burned away.
"We fled to America and never looked back. Do you see why I do not share your fear of this agency? My brother and I have faced much more sinister demons."
Her makeup was smeared and her eyeliner was running. Nyx looked at herself in her compact and rolled her eyes. She fluttered her eyelashes, and the flaws in her makeup were dissolved, glamoured away so no one could see her tears, but I still felt them. They were cold and sobering.
"I'm so sorry."
"I believe you." She sighed and sat straighter in her seat, glaring back at me regretfully. "But sorry doesn't help anyone. Being sorry doesn't bring back my Niko, and it doesn't bring back the man I see drowning in your head."
; My breath hitched and my muscles twitched at the mention of Jason.
Nyx felt vulnerable now that I'd seen into her past, and that made her feel weak and stupid. She rebounded by falling back on her spite, hurting me the way she hurt. I was still so engulfed in her wound, that I couldn't blame her for twisting the knife in mine.
"I suggest you grab hold of what you have in front of you, and stop pining after the dead," she said with a bitterness that clung to me like a cold, wet coat.
I stared back at her, knowing she meant Cash, but not wanting to share that part of myself with her. Whatever I felt for him belonged to me. They were my feelings to process and examine when I felt ready. She didn't get to decided that.
"What do you feel when he sings to you?" She asked. Her eyes narrowed and she gave me her full attention again.
"The same thing you feel."
"No you don't." Nyx shook her head and a slow, knowing smile painted her lips. "When I hear that voice, I think of Niko. I feel his hands on my face and remember the way his skin felt against mine. I feel the way I felt the first time he looked into my eyes and told me he loved me."
I was taken aback by her honesty and the way she'd cornered me. She was right. When women hear Cash's voice, it feels different for all of them. I got to feel it all at once, but how did I feel when I waded through all of those other emotional reflexes?
"I feel like I'm falling," I admitted quietly.
Nyx smiled and leaned back in her chair, satisfied.
"I get this tickle in the center of my body that feels like it's pulling me down. I'm in total free-fall, but I'm not afraid, because I know there's no bottom."
As if my assessment had conjured him, Cash and Lux returned with their pockets full of chips.
"Looks like you glamoured yourself a few blackjacks," I said cynically to Lux.
"No, that was pure luck. Cash kept me honest." Lux slung his arm around Cash.
Cash looked at me with a huge grin and seemed to have a light buzz going himself. His eyes locked on mine and I felt something inside him that I couldn't quite place. It felt like nervousness, but at the same time, he was so sure of something that his resolve felt like recently poured concrete solidifying.
Collide (Anomaly Book 3) Page 6