“We should converse with charming smiles and witty comments,” Princess Rheanna leaned over to whisper. “Surely a proper queen isn’t expected to be so solemn at state functions.”
Princess Aveline cocked an elegant brow. “Are you still trying?”
“Of course not; I just want to prove I wasn’t discarded simply by being unsuitable.” But despite her words she blushed.
Princess Elodie promptly launched into this new plan with enthusiasm and started up a dull conversation about foreign relations, keeping her voice at the proper volume and inflections. Despite the tedious topic, the others’ smiles never faltered. Goodness, they were so proper. Was royalty all about appearances? Surely the Dark Prince wanted more than a wife who was the portrait-perfect image of a queen.
I pretended to listen to the conversation swirling around me but didn’t feel brave enough to contribute myself, especially when I was thoroughly enjoying the delicious salad, seasoned with herbs, berries, seeds, and a light coating of dressing. I hadn’t realized just how hungry I was. I was nearly halfway through when Princess Elodie leaned towards my ear.
“Remember not to eat it all.”
I frowned. “Why not? I’m hungry.”
“You’ll appear gluttonous.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
Prince Liam snorted while Princess Elodie’s eyes widened at my loud-whispered outburst. I sighed and obediently set down my fork in the proper way Aiden had shown me to signify I was finished. I watched sadly as the salad was whisked away by an attentive footman and I was presented with a bowl of strawberry soup. I took as dainty a sip as I could and managed not to draw attention to myself. Never had so many bowls of soup been eaten so quietly; no one made a slurp.
Several courses followed, and I was soon quite stuffed and exhausted from eating with so much focus. I seemed to do well enough until I picked up my bread during the fifth course to scoop up some gravy. Another mistake followed in the next course when a spoonful of my sorbet plopped right into my lap. Thank goodness my napkin caught it so I didn’t ruin my dress—another one borrowed from Princess Elodie, this one a rose silk.
She unfortunately noticed, as did the king. After my gravy-scooping error—which she’d sweetly pointed out to me—Princess Elodie scarcely tore her attention away from me, seeming genuinely concerned for my performance. As I tried to subtly clean up my fallen sorbet, she leaned over.
“Do relax, Gemma; you’re far too nervous. Remember the essential trait of all royalty: confidence.”
I took a steadying breath and nodded. The meal was almost over. I could do this.
After the bowls of sorbet were removed, I resisted the impulse to lean back in my seat with a sigh of relief that I’d survived. Surely that had been the final course. My hopes were dashed as a tall goblet of water to wash down our meal was placed in front of me. I picked it up and drank several gulps. It was cool and refreshing, with a slight lemon taste.
The superficial cheery conversation suddenly ceased from my end of the table, followed by several soft gasps. I lowered the goblet to see that no one else had drunk from theirs but were instead using them to daintily wash their hands at the conclusion of the meal.
I choked on the water and began coughing, my cheeks burning.
“Did you just drink the water from the finger bowl?” Princess Aveline asked in a scandalized whisper that carried several seats down to those who hadn’t witnessed the spectacle. Their eyes—along with the sharp attention of the judging noblemen and unfortunately the king—snapped to me. My already warm face flamed.
Prince Liam acted immediately. He seized his own goblet and drank the entire thing in several gulps. “Finger bowl water is my favorite kind, particularly when flavored with just the right amount of lemon.” He set it down with an exaggerated clunk. Princess Elodie pressed her napkin daintily over her lips to muffle her giggle while Princess Aveline gaped at him.
“Liam, you know perfectly well you’re not supposed to—” But before she could give a proper scolding, Princess Rheanna took a tentative sip from her own goblet.
“That’s the spirit, sister,” Prince Liam said. She gave me a small, reassuring smile while Princess Aveline sniffed in disapproval.
Warm gratitude washed over me at their kindness, but the sweetness of their gesture melted away after a stolen glance at the frowning king and watching noblemen revealed their disapproving scowls; clearly they hadn’t been fooled by Prince Liam and Princess Rheanna’s attempts to help me cover up my mistake. My stomach knotted. When the final course of fruit was placed in front of me, my appetite—which had already begun vanishing several courses ago—left completely, replaced with churning nausea. Had my mistake been enough to expose this charade?
It was a relief to finally return to the sanctity of my room. I collapsed in my vanity chair and pressed my forehead in my hands as I tried to suppress the memories from lunch. It had been going fairly well…until the end. Why had I made such a stupid mistake?
When I managed to emerge from my swirling thoughts, I noticed the note on my vanity. My heart fluttered when I glimpsed Aiden’s signature.
Dearest Eileen, I promised last night to see you today, and I fully intend to keep that promise. I’m eager to hear how your decorum showcase went. If the idea pleases you, would you please accompany me on a stroll through the gardens after lunch? I’ll wait all afternoon. Aiden
All my earlier annoyances that he hadn’t braved court in order to wish me luck this morning melted away. I reread Aiden’s note three times, each time my girlish grin growing wider. I tucked the note between the pages of my sketchbook and hurried through the corridors.
It was a beautiful afternoon in late spring. Aside from my attempts to get past the gate, I hadn’t had an opportunity to spend time in the gardens. The aerial view of the royal grounds from my window had scarcely captured their splendor. Flowers in a myriad of colors and types were planted in ornate patterns, and the manicured shrubs and hedges were arranged in sophisticated artistry. I strolled the cobblestone pathways in awe, allowing the beauty and the blossoms’ perfume to caress my senses. Beyond the gardens lay my beloved Forest. I stared at the majestic trees, my old friends. It seemed like forever since I’d last been cocooned within their familiar branches.
“I love the wonder filling your eyes. I knew you’d love the gardens.” Aiden emerged from behind a hedge and my heart swelled to see him. I offered a shy smile before wrinkling my nose in confusion.
“Why were you hiding?”
“I have my reasons. But now that you’re here, I have no need to do so any longer.” He nodded to someone behind me and I turned around in time to see Guard Alastar—who had as usual been trailing me—bow and stroll back the way we’d come.
Aiden offered his arm and I wound mine through his, clinging to his elbow more tightly than necessary. He smiled sweetly down at me before escorting me down a secluded path, as if he wanted us to remain out of sight. That tickled my suspicions and also reminded me of my earlier grievance.
“I was hoping to see you this morning.”
Remorse twisted his expression, so sincere I felt my hurt fade away. “I’m deeply sorry I couldn’t see you. I shall tell you my reasons why all in due time.”
My hand fluttered to my neck, where his gift still resided. “You did send a token, so I knew I wasn’t entirely forgotten. Thank you for the necklace. I’ve never owned anything so lovely.”
“I’m so glad you like it. I’d promise to spoil you with many more lavish gifts in the future, but I know you wouldn’t be swayed by such a gesture.”
“That’s true. I prefer fewer treasures so I can better cherish them.”
He gently squeezed my hand. “It’s one of the reasons you’re special.” He gently led me down a crocus-lined path and sat us down on the rim of a marble fountain. “Now please don’t keep me in suspense a moment longer. How did your first task go?”
I reached my hand back to trail my fingers through the coo
l water. “I survived, but unfortunately it wasn’t without several mishaps.”
Aiden’s lips twitched. “Define mishaps. Did you use the wrong fork?”
I studied the laughter already filling his eyes. “Why is that amusing?”
“Because formal dinners are rather dull affairs, and attending one with you and your charming errors would undoubtedly make them more interesting.”
My smile escaped. “Prepare yourself, for it’s rather ghastly: my careful posture frequently faltered, I used my roll to scoop up the gravy, a spoonful of sorbet fell into my lap…as you can see, I was plagued with all sorts of catastrophes.”
Aiden’s twitching lips broke into a full smile. “Come now, that’s not that horrible. Please don’t be distressed.” He reached out and caressed my cheek. I instinctively leaned against his touch.
“I haven't told you the worst part.”
His grin became wicked. “There’s more?”
I buried my face in my hands. “I drank the finger-bowl water.”
A stunned silence followed my confession before he burst into laughter. I snapped my head up to glare at him, but it was hard to put much force behind it with the way his eyes lit up and the sound of his warm laughter washed over me.
His laughter faded but his expression remained aglow. “My apologies for failing to mention the finger-bowl water. I didn’t even think it necessary.” He chuckled again.
“Stop laughing; it’s not funny.” I playfully splashed him with water from the fountain and he caught my wet hand to press a kiss to the back of it. All his amusement faded as his expression softened.
“I’m only laughing because your faux pas reminds me how delightful you are, one of many reasons I care for you. Please believe me that I hate the thought that you were embarrassed.” He ran his fingers through my hair and the gesture helped calm my skittering heart.
“My mistake wasn’t charming, and it certainly didn’t go unnoticed, even though the Dracerian royals tried to cover for me.”
His caressing hand paused and he cocked an eyebrow. “Did they? How so?”
“Prince Liam made an exaggerated show of drinking the entire goblet, and even Princess Rheanna took a sip so I wasn’t the only one to have done so.”
“Princess Rheanna did that?” His brow furrowed. “Why would she…” He trailed off with a perplexed frown before his expression smoothed over and he resumed stroking my hair. “I’m so pleased you have people looking out for you when I can’t. How are you feeling now that your ordeal is over?”
The embarrassment knotting my stomach was still acute. I shook my head and leaned against him, pleased when he wrapped his arms around me and held me close.
“You’re trembling. What’s wrong?”
“I made so many mistakes and the king kept watching me suspiciously. I’m going to get caught, I just know I am.”
“Of course not. I promise. Please don’t worry. I doubt you’ll be discounted simply for bad table manners. And since you don’t want the prince to pick you, losing any points in this silly competition shouldn’t matter.”
“I’m more concerned about a lifelong sojourn in the royal dungeons.”
He enfolded my hands in his. “I promise I won’t allow anything to happen to you. Please believe me.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I’m a member of the court with some influence. I’ll use all the persuasion I have in order to protect the one who means the most to me.”
I searched his dark eyes, so earnest as they seeped into mine. I wanted to trust him, but I still wasn’t sure I was brave enough to allow myself to. Strangely, I felt more inclined to open my heart when Aiden began playing with my fingers.
“Have you been given your next task?” he asked as he attentively traced each of my knuckles. I shuddered at the sensation.
“It won’t come until after dinner. Have you heard anything about it?”
He sighed. “Unfortunately not. I wish I knew so I could be better prepared on how to help you. I want you to do well.”
I slowly pulled my hands from his, wary once more. “Are you really so eager for me to win?”
He cupped my cheek. “You believe I want to force you into an unwanted match?”
“I was under the impression you thought marrying a prince would be just what a common girl has always dreamed of.”
“I admit I did, but I should have known you better than that.”
“While Rosie has always dreamed of marrying a prince, I’ve never wanted such a thing,” I said. “I love my life and don’t need a title and wealth in order to be happy.”
Tenderness filled his eyes. “Yet another of many reasons why you’re so special. But”—his gaze became earnest—“do you think you could ever learn to be happy in such a life?”
I sighed. “Perhaps. It’d undoubtedly take some getting used to.”
He frowned, as if my answer had disappointed him. He helped me to my feet and tucked my hand back in his arm. We resumed strolling, turning onto a path that twisted through plots of colorful dahlias. “I know I possess the wealth and title you abhor, but if I weren’t engaged, would you consider…”
My breath hooked and I froze. “What are you asking?”
He blushed, eyes shy. “I’m no longer betrothed. It took some doing, but I ended my engagement after our picnic at the waterfall, meaning I could now court you…if you’d have me. I wanted to tell you before now, but the right opportunity never presented itself.”
“I—” I wasn’t sure what to say. My heart pounded deafeningly, making it difficult to sort through the jumble of thoughts and emotions swirling through me.
“Is there a reason for your hesitation?” he asked gently. “Are you in love with someone else?”
I shook my head. “No, there’s no one.” And with the wounds still scabbing my heart, I could never allow there to be…while at the same time my scarred heart yearned for him. I’d forever regret it if I lost this opportunity because I allowed my fears to overcome me. Could I ever be brave enough to choose him?
“Then what’s stopping you?”
“I—” I had no reason to give without admitting my greatest fears that choosing him would cause me to one day end up like Mother, abandoned and alone. “I just can’t.”
He took both my hands in his. “But you said you felt something for me.” His tone was pleading, as if he desperately hoped my feelings hadn’t changed.
I ached to deny the feelings I’d shared when under the truth cake’s enchantment, but I couldn’t—not with the adoring way he looked at me and the beautiful way he made me feel. Heat pulsed up my arms from his touch curling my fingertips.
The fears I’d been suppressing my entire life struggled to reach the surface again. I was so tired of this fight, of allowing my fears to rule me and dictate my choices. I wanted to choose Aiden. Couldn’t I allow myself to have him, especially now that he was available?
“I’m afraid,” I whispered. “A heart is too precious to risk, especially when a heart is so easy to break.”
His expression softened into sweet concern as he searched my own. “You’re afraid of having your heart broken? Is that why you’ve been resisting me?”
Mutely, I nodded. He sighed.
“My poor dear. What’s happened to you, Eileen?”
My lip trembled and a single tear escaped to streak my cheek. Aiden gently wiped it away, a gesture so achingly sweet I nearly unraveled completely. He stepped forward, closing the distance between us and embracing me. He lightly traced around my eyes with his fingertip.
“There’s pain in your eyes. Who hurt you?”
I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, not ready to share that heartache with him. Yet despite my best efforts, I couldn’t prevent the process that was happening now, for my heart had been vulnerable and available to be stolen ever since I’d met Aiden. I feared he was now precariously close to possessing it completely.
Aiden drew me close to hold me once m
ore. “It’s alright if you can’t tell me, and if you’re not ready to move forward, we’ll wait. We’ll go as slowly as you need.”
“What if I’m never ready?”
He began to rub my back in soothing circles. “I’ll wait forever. So please don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you. Please trust me.”
I shook my head. “I want to, but I can’t. That’s something I cannot give.”
He sighed, clearly disappointed. “Might I prove myself to you? Please, Eileen.”
I tipped my head back and stared into his dark gaze boring into mine, pleading for me to give him a chance.
My hand curled around the note I’d written Mother before the luncheon. I toyed with the edges, considering, before I shakily pulled it from my sleeve. “Please find a way to send this to my mother in Arador,” I said. “I can’t bear the thought of her worry ever since my disappearance.”
He hesitated before he took it. “I will.”
He withdrew then, taking his warmth and security with him, and despite the sunshine, I shivered. Aiden tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’ll see you after you receive the second task.”
He kissed my hand and started to pull away, but my fingers tightened around his, keeping him near me, needing him. While my fears prevented me from holding on to him, my feelings for him—which grew with each interaction—made it impossible to completely pull away.
Chapter 17
I paced the floor as I awaited Aiden’s arrival, clutching the next task that I’d reread so many times I now had it memorized:
Pathways (The Kingdom Chronicles Book 1) Page 18