by Karen Binnie
Chapter 26
Jez tucked into the cooked fish, he was starving hungry, trouble was when they had returned his fish was no-where to be seen he could only guess that some creature had came and taken it as he had definitely despatched it before he left. The evidence now gone, he had a hard time convincing Cooper of his triumph, she had come to his aid and quickly retrieved another couple of fish to replenish his hunger.
Jol had stormed off into her room, slamming the door on their return and that bothered him, he had obviously let the cat out of the bag, the others had not been entirely truthful over her father’s death, no wonder she had taken it so well. When Cooper had asked what was wrong, he just shrugged his shoulders in denial, Jol could have it out with Al’ice and the others, from now on he would stay out of it.
I entered the cottage and never looked at the others as the door to my room slammed behind me. I wanted to punch the wall in anger but value my knuckles too much, besides I’ve had enough pain for one day, emotional and physical. Now the anger had surpassed all of that, why the hell should I attend this bloody gathering when they have all lied to me. Jez was right, they were using me, even Al’ice, I felt my nails dig into the skin as I clench my fists. Jez had been the only one to tell the truth, his innocent remark proof enough, he had been oblivious to their lies.
There is a knock at the door, “what is the matter?” asks Cooper as she enters.
“Go away, I don’t want to talk about it!”
“Whatever it is, it cannot be that bad, tell me, I could help?”
I turn my back on her and stare at the ceiling in frustration, I don’t want to talk about it, I don’t want to have face their lies right now, why can’t she just leave me alone and why the hell can I smell oranges. I ignore Cooper and stare at a crack in the wooden ceiling.
Cooper knows the source of the smell, it is my essence and it grows stronger with the day.
“Jol?”
Why can’t she just leave me alone.
“JOL?” she asks with concern.
They won’t will they, oh no, not with their precious gathering, she’ll just keep on and on, “YOU lied to me” I find myself blurting out.
“About?”
“My father.”
Tadge had promised Cooper he would not mention her father and she believed him, it was not in his nature to lie, unless somehow the subject of her father came up then he would have been compelled to tell the truth. She had dreaded this moment.
“I am sorry Jol, protecting your feelings was perhaps not the right thing to do.”
“Were you protecting mine or Al’ice's?”
“I do not understand?”
I realise I can’t continue this conversation whilst staring at the ceiling, I brace myself for the confrontation and turn to face her. She looks so hurt and confused, not the Cooper we all know and love, what an actress! I am glaring at her, hatred fills my eyes.
“Oh never mind! You must promise me NOT to let Al’ice know that I am aware of his lies, I can’t face him now, if you promise, then I promise to calm down, I am tired of fighting.”
I slump down on the bed in defeat, I’ve had enough of this shit, oh how I had been so proud of Tadge and even he had concealed the truth, how dare they! I can feel Cooper staring, she doesn’t say a word, I relax my fists but my elbows are still buzzing from earlier. It’s just all too much to deal with at once, I don’t want to go to the bloody gathering, all those people eager to meet me, I just want to curl into ball and let my anger fester, it’s not fair. Perhaps I can get Jez to help me escape this nightmare, he’s always been eager to leave, all those people here to see me, shit! I’ll talk to him after the gathering, we can plan our escape then.
Cooper sat beside me and gave me a tentative hug.
“I promise not to say a word to Al’ice, It will do him good to face the wrath of someone he loves, it is about time things did not always go his way.”
I did not fully understand her meaning, she said he loves me but how can you lie to someone you love, I felt my chest tighten as my head begins to buzz, I could really do with some panadol.
Time was running short but Cooper is well aware of my fragile state, trying to lighten the mood if that were at all possible, she asks “what do you think of the garments I have made for you?”
The smell of oranges is still bugging me but it’s growing fainter now and taking my headache with it. I stare down in horror at the end of the bed to where she is pointing.
“What are you making Jez wear?”
“He refuses any suggestions I make, alas Jez will be the same as usual!”
I’m thinking of my plan to get Jez on his own, wondering how long this damn gathering will take as I pick through the assortment of cloth.
“Why do I have to wear these?”
“I promise, when I have finished you will look like an angel.”
I’m not convinced, my anger is waning but it’s still there festering under the surface, “whatever!” I reply.
Cooper leaves me to my sarcasm and quickly returns with a large jug of liquid.
“This will cleanse you of your pain and give you courage to cope with the rest of the day.”
“Great! Just what I need, do I drink it?”
She laughs, “No, it is for washing away your troubles, here.”
I sniff the rim of the jug, it’s just water, what kind of fool does she think I am? I pour it into the bowl on the side and cup the cool water in my hands. I need to wash my face at least, if I’m going to meet the villagers I can’t go out there looking hellish. As I splash my face, the oranges return, perhaps it is in the water.
“Where did you get the oranges from?”
“No orange just the juice of the julempieen root, you are the one who smells of oranges, the root juice encourages your own odour to flourish.”
“No way! I smell of oranges, how come?”
“You are part angel Jol, it is your essence, did your mother not have a distinctive smell?”
I cast my mind back, did she? I rarely saw my ambitious mother and couldn’t remember any special smell except for the expensive perfumes she owned, they were always so heady and made me feel sick. Now dad had a musty old smell that lingered on him along with the stale tobacco, he smelled like history, of the old books he collected for his shop, now that I can remember well.
Cooper is watching me, lost in my thoughts, waiting for an answer.
“Yeah, eau de Chanel no doubt!”
“I have not heard of this, is it a pleasant aroma?”
I was being sarcastic, again! It wasn’t in my nature to be like that, this place was turning me into a monster. It was talking about mum that did it, thoughts of her always angered me, I don’t know why, I hardly knew the woman.
What I thought was water had the consistency of milk, very strange. My own smell was now sweet and comforting, not as strong as before, more like tangerine than oranges. Perhaps it echoed my mood, the stronger the orange would spell danger, I don’t remember it back in Salisbury at that party when I had hurt Dave Jinson, the smell of stale cigarettes and drink on his breath had probably masked my own, Al’ice had better be careful, I didn’t know my own strength when pushed.
I finished drying myself and Cooper began to help me into the clothes she had made, they did fit really well but I just felt so uncomfortable.
“What's wrong with my own clothes?” I ask as I look down at myself disapprovingly.
Cooper begins to tie the lattice work around my tight bodice, on my hips a mini leather wrap which covers the full red skirt underneath which falls to my ankles.
“Take out your seeing device and look for yourself how much better this is.”
I grab my mirror from my bag, the bodice shows off the curve of my new breasts and the skirt has many sections which are not joined.
“Oh! you can see right up my legs.”
“Yes and what a fine body you have to be displayed so.”
I place my hand over the triquetra, it doesn’t even cover all of the bare skin on my chest, ok so I look good but it’s not me, I feel awkward and exposed, I may turn heads but I don’t want to be the centre of attention.
“Can I wear my cloak?” at least that will cover some of my embarrassment.
“If you wish, I will fetch it.”
I stood there waiting, at last I feel the cloak lowered onto my shoulders, as it falls to my sides I feel much better.
“It is such a shame to hide such a beautiful body” remarks Al’ice from behind.
I swing round angered by his voice and slap him hard across the face, the oranges returning to the room.
I can’t believe I just did that as the stinging sensation smarts my palm, I raise my hands to my mouth in disgust as the redness swells on his cheek, ‘I'm sorry’ I mouth silently.
I’m so mad with him but my heart still flutters as before as he stares back at me in surprise, he doesn’t say anything at first, confusion etched on his face.
“I startled you, I am sorry, it is time, the others are waiting.”
Was that it? He turned and entered the main room of the cottage, was that it? Why did he have to stand there looking so hurt and handsome, now I feel bad, it’s not fair.
He has no idea what he’s done to me, Cooper promised, she must have been true to her word, for once! I gather myself up in my cloak before facing the others.
Cooper had quickly changed into a garment similar to mine but in green, Al’ice wears a bemused look on his face and is wearing his usual cloths of orange and brown, the trace of my hand still visible, I can barely look him in the eye. Eldeen bows his head in greeting, he has tied his long white hair behind and braided his long goatee beard, he reminds me of those hippy tree hugging types, his cloak looks new but the same moss green colour he always wears.
Jez appeared in the doorway wiping his mouth on the back of his hand.
“Wow! look at you.”
I flush at his statement hoping the villagers will not be so obvious.
Eldeen leads the way to the village as I shuffle behind trying to seem regal whilst gathering the cloth of my skirt to hide my thighs. I am walking beside Jez, the only true friend I have in this place, I grabbed him quickly before Al’ice got any ideas of his own. I suppose I wanted to hurt him, to make him jealous but he did not seem to mind as unbeknown to me this arrangement had already been decided, it was Eldeen's wish.
Behind us walked Cooper and Al’ice, both amused at my attempts to hide my flesh, I could feel his eyes on my back, on my thighs beneath the cloak, why couldn’t we walk at the back?
As we approached the meeting place much merriment was already underway, there were lots of people, more than I had seen since arriving. The smell of burning flesh met my nostrils and I turn away in disgust at the sight of several large deer turning on a spit to our left.
A weird noise falls across the evening, meeting our arrival, it is a strange and eerie sound, shallow at first but the long note does not falter, crescending into a roar.
“It is the horn of Ballesen” adds Cooper from behind.
“Will the Celts not hear it?” I ask without turning.
“They will hear the roar of thunder and lightning, they will not come, the weather is fearsome for them today” adds Al’ice.
Jez walked proud with his arm interlinked with Jol's, she looked fantastic as he escorted her to the gathering, he knew at some point he would have to lose her though as his taste buds salivated at the sight of the roasting deer.
Around us the constant babble ceases with only the babes making a sound as their mothers try to soothe them, it was clear Eldeen commanded much respect, I can feel my face redden, again!
There is excitement and tension in the air as we enter the meeting place, Eldeen raises his staff, the amber head is restored as he greets his people in their strange language, he turns and takes hold of my hand, releasing me from Jez's grasp and parades me around the inner circle, I feel sick and shuffle so as not to expose my legs as they stare and begin clapping loudly. He then turns back to Jez and holding his hand he speaks loud and proud to the people who look at Jez in wonder and begin clapping once again. I see his face redden like mine, at least I’m not alone in the embarrassment, I don’t like it here in the centre, perhaps we can sit off to the side somewhere.
Eldeen continues jabbering on in his strange tongue until at last he finished and the festivities continued in a flurry of activity, to our right are a group of dancers moving to the strange tones coming from what looks like a cross between bagpipes and an accordion and accompanied by three single drums. The children we had met the day before are joined by many others and are playing games and laughing. Groups of men hang around the edges, deep in conversation whilst drinking from large vessels of what was probably kailch.
Eldeen saw Jez licking at his lips, “Go, eat and drink, enjoy yourself, Julianne you will sit here with Cooper and I.”
My heart sinks as I realise there is no escape, there are large cushions beside us at the centre, no hiding in the shadows after all. I watch Al’ice follow Jez, stopping many times to talk, he seems to know everyone, why do I admire him so when I’m still so angry. They both stop beside the large carcass of a deer and pull at the meat heartily enjoying a drink and laughing, at least they are getting on it seems. I feel alone once more as I sit and hope Jez will still want to leave as soon as this is all over.
Cooper rouses me from my thoughts with a cup of kailch.
“Here this will help, not too much for you though, look how the men stand as protectors at the edge, you will notice how the women and babes stay within the canopy that is our way. Are you hungry? We have roasted vegetables of sorts if you wish?”
My stomach groans and I realise I have not eaten all day, I nod in agreement.
A concerned looking woman approaches Eldeen and for a while they are deep in conversation, at last he turns to me and asks, “Jol do you feel up to healing again, so soon?”
The buzzing had subsided in my elbows but I didn’t like the thought of it returning, I look at the woman’s anguished face, I could try I suppose, one last act before I leave.
“I could try” I reply.
The woman returns with a small girl of about five years old and places her unconscious body on the cushion in front of me, she is very pale.
“What's wrong with her?” I ask.
“We believe it is another case of the curse, though why it has decided to attack the young we cannot be sure.”
The enormity of my task suddenly crushes in around me, how can I refuse a child, one so young but I had hoped to be led away to a private spot, what if I fail this time with everyone watching?
“Eldeen, I want Jez here to help me.”
“Jez?” he asks surprised, “not Al’ice?”
“No.”
I’m still angry with Al'ice and if he came near me I would never be able to concentrate properly on this difficult task.
Eldeen nods in agreement, for he needed us together, it was almost time for his next task, the one he had been dreading.
“Then it will be so, Cooper fetch Jez for me.”
Jez came over to the centre, he looks a little bemused at my request, he could tell Al’ice's nose had been put out of joint but then guessed that was what I wanted, he didn't like being used as a pawn in my silly games.
Aware of all the watching eyes he kneels beside me speaking silently, “You are not using me again, are you?”
“I would never do that! I need someone strong behind me in case I am thrown backwards again.”
“You are going to heal this young girl?” he asks out loud.
“Yes.”
“Are you up to it, after what happened earlier?”
“Jez, please, will you help me? In case I am thrown back like before.”
“OK”, “why not ask Al’ice, he is surely as strong as I am?”
“I would not be able to concentrate,
look at him Jez, he belongs with his people, he is to replace Eldeen, did you know that?”
Eldeen interrupts, “When you two are quite ready! Observe, this delay has my people worried.”
“Sorry” we both add in unison.
Jez sits behind me, “Well how do you want me?” he asks.
“Whatever you feel is the strongest hold you have.”
He looks around him at the watching eyes, aware that Al’ice is now keeping a close eye on him, at first he kneels but that is no good then he try’s squatting but is unbalanced. There is nothing for it as he sits anquoring me from behind, each leg placed either side of mine, he holds my waist tight and closes his eyes, resting his head against my back.
Al’ice envied him this task, he wanted to be the one to accompany Jol on this perilous journey until Eldeen made him see reason, “You cannot” he had ordered, “Your emotional link will most certainly have you both killed, Jez has not the power yet to intervene, he must witness and bring her back to us safely.”
If this was to be his angels last moments Al’ice longed to be with her, he reached up and touched his cheek, still hot from her touch. He could not bear to watch her die either and Eldeen was right, the power needed to send them would be his last act as leader and Al'ice had a duty to his people to stay and protect them.
The knot of jealousy tightened in his chest as he saw Jez hold her tight, he rubbed at his sore cheek, her force was strong, he did not want this to be his final memory of the woman he loved.
I place my hands on the little girl’s chest and hope it will be easier than before, the young girl’s body is much smaller than Dallon’s. The pain starts immediately, first through my palms then shooting into my fingertips, the reverse of before, as if sharp talons were going to erupt from my fingers, I grimace, scared of hurting the girl, I try not to think of wolverine, I close my eyes and concentrate.
Al’ice looked at Eldeen who nodded to him reaffirming their previous conversation, he felt the stab of pain behind his eyes as Cooper joined him and placed her arm around his shoulders in comfort.
Jez felt the shudder go through my body as I held fast, he glanced over my shoulder as the little girl opened her eyes and cried for her mummy.
The crowd erupted in cheers and began chanting as the girl’s mother rushed forward gathering up her precious daughter, I have yet to open my eyes as I fight to calm the tide within.
Eldeen begins to speak, he takes Jez's wrist and lays it upon mine. Our cascelet bands touch, in a blinding flash we’re gone.
It takes a while to focus from the flash of light, I am sat upon a huge rock high above the deep dark grey of what looks like a river far below the edge of the rock face. My hands still burn from the healing process, my fingertips as if they are on fire, no talons though to my relief, but where the hell am I? Surrounded by mountains, the water below stretches far on each side, so far that I can’t see where it ends but I think I can just make out the opposite shoreline, the water laps at what looks like dense rocks. There are no trees just heather clad hills and the barren mountains, this is truly a desolate place, jagged rocks everywhere and no sign of habitation.
I must be in another dream, knocked out from the healing process, I will wake up soon and find the others hovering over me but I think I have seen this place before, it looks familiar. I can no longer feel Jez's body behind mine, had he felt the energy as it had shuddered through me, I hope I have not hurt him.
“Jez?” I call out to him with my mind, there is no reply.
This must be a dream as I am unable to move from this rock and can only see just a couple of metres, a thick fog clings to the land, creeping towards me, like cold clammy fingers reaching out, I’m too cold for it to be a dream surely? I pull my cloak tighter as a rush of water from below sounds, a greyish mist rises up from the water, its ghostly fingers reaching for my body, fingers attacking from both sides I am paralysed with fear.
In the flash, Jez had found himself standing but pinned against a large flat rock, the dense fog surrounding him threatened to engulf his lungs as the cold stabbed at his throat. Just ahead he could make out a woman sat upon a rock and then nothing as if there was a huge drop in front of her, it looked like Jol, he was haunted by his nightmare and what was going to happen next. Desperate to get to her and spirit her away from danger he found he could not move as if an invisible force were holding him down, the pent up rage inside could not even move any of his muscles, they twitched redundant of his requests, he could not stomach what he would witness next but even his eyes were forced open, his mouth clamped shut, this was a torturous pain for any man.
The grey fingered mist crept slowly over the edge of the rock and towards my body, it’s only mist I tell myself as the fingers caress my skin with a strange warmth, It looks cold but it’s warm, I am lulled into thinking I am relaxing in the bath back home, so this must be a dream, that’s what they do, interchange images so they don’t make any sense.
Feeling much calmer now I open my eyes, staring right back, a pair of deep green eyes, encased with golden lids accompanied with the throbbing beat of a heart, strong and steady, as the beast moves closer. It appears dragon like with its long protruding snout and huge nostrils the size of dinner plates, which pulsate as the creature leans forward and sniffs my body, I’m hoping it does not breathe in too deeply as I’m sure my head will disappear inside.
Amazingly I am calm, it’s just a dream after all, I stare back into the beasts eyes, as it returns the compliment I can feel the pressure deep in my soul, my heart aches as if struggling to keep pace with my blood.
“You are not willing, how is this so?”
The pressure deepens as I realise it is the beast that has entered my mind, talking to me.
“I do not understand, why am I here?”
The beast breathes deeper, his mind is strong, he is searching, searching mine for answers.
“You are here for a different purpose, you do not willingly sacrifice your body.”
It was more of a statement than a question.
I remember this dream, from before, the woman taken, why would she sacrifice herself willingly?
I probe forward into the dark void of the beasts mind, “Why do you feed on people?” I ask.
His sadness seeps into my soul, he is the last of his kind, forced to survive, death not an option, he is alone, he only ever takes what is offered willingly.
“Why are you here?” he asks, “You do not offer yourself like the others.”
In the reflection of the beasts eyes I can see Jez behind in the shadows, standing against a large rock, why is he just standing there, watching?
“Jez, Jez please, help me” he does not reply, perhaps he is just another illusion.
The fetid smell turns my stomach, I sense my body begin to shut down in retaliation. Unable to move I am practically kissing the monster before me, he slices his large grey tongue at the side of my face the roughness grazing my skin, the putrid smell that comes from his throat is knocking me out. Yet still I feel calm, the skin hard like rock as it lifts its front leg and caresses the side of my face where it had just tasted my skin with its barbed tongue. I am going under, I see its long nail, claw like upon knarled stubby digits as it moves down to my chest, all the time the eyes watching, waiting for any reaction as I slip into unconsciousness. The claw catches the edge of my chain, touching the necklace that Eldeen had given me, pulling it forward as if to snatch it away.
I feel his mind probing once more, “You are the chosen one, you have the power to restore life, you must re-awaken my soul, she has been taken and is trapped.”
“Where is she?” I murmer.
“I will give you the power, the strength to locate her, once awakened and free, eternal peace will be mine, take my gift chosen one.”
The night sky illuminates in a strange blue glow that emanates from my necklace, the pattern traced across the twilight sky. The creature remains silent, his eyes penetrating d
eep.
Jez watched the scene in turmoil, he could not imagine what she was feeling right at that moment, he was unable to help as the beast reached for her but watched in wonder at the fantastic light show that appeared. He was sure it was the same beast from his nightmare but it hesitated, his nightmare had ended in a cruel, quick and hideous way, he only hoped that Jol would not be taken like that girl.
The elliptical light, pulsated in the heavens and then as if swallowed retreated back into the triquetra, I feel more at peace inside than I have since the loss of my mother, brother, father and now best friend, it was as if this illusion had washed all of my pain away. I smile in gratitude, in recognition of the power it wielded, the beast snorts in return, covering me in a glittony of slime, the huge thrust from its nostrils throwing the hair back from my face.
With a swift action the creature rises up into the air unfolding its huge wings and with one beat so strong it throws Jol’s body against the rock. It dives towards the water folding back its wings against the streamlined body and enters the surface like an Olympic diver, hardly a splash to be seen, no one would guess what lay beneath if they had not seen it for themselves.
At last the tight grip on Jez's body relaxed and he rushed forward to Jol as she collapsed against the rock, knocking her temple against the hard granite, she was out cold. He lifted her in his arms and joined their cascelet together, this time there was no flash, nothing but the two of them upon the rock in the cold, her hair wet and sticky from the creature’s breath.
Jez had to think fast, they could not stay here in case the beast changed its mind and returned, he was angry, angry that Eldeen had sent them here, did he want them to die? He had to get his bearings it would not be long before night fell, kneeling beside the rock he began to feel around the sides, at last he found the dense moss growing against the cold and damp, from the recesses of his memory came the knowledge that moss only grew on the north side on rock where less sunlight fell. North would be colder so they would head south, across the mountainous land.
Lost in a far off land, cold and wet, I open my eyes and find myself flung over Jez’s shoulder, again. The cold air stings my lungs, my head aches and I’m finding it difficult to breathe as we bounce along. The soles of my feet are cold, my toes numb, I try to look up and see the dark blue/black of the sky looming down upon us as the first sparkle of a star winks back at me. I can’t find my voice as Jez moves fast, I think we’re moving downwards, across a mountain, I don’t know where we are or why, at last he stops and hoists me up from over his shoulder, laying me gingerly against the barren land.
I just lie there and watch him cast in shadow as he looks around in the half light, my clothes cling to my skin covered in nasal slime from the monster, I shudder at the thought and try to remember all that had happened. Only snippets come to mind, the eyes like dinner plates, the monstrous sneeze that had me caked in slime, the long sharp nail hooked into a point, the split down the edge caught in my triquetra.
I grab at my neck as I remember, it’s still there, thank god, small comfort gleamed from the amulet, masking our current dilemma.
“Jol you're awake, you ok?” asks Jez as he turns to see me holding my necklace tight, my empty eyes staring ahead.
I can hear a voice in the distance, an echo against the night sky, I am confused, my voice no longer there as a question circles my inner ear.
Something lifts my chin, the roughness of the skin startling me as the voice grows louder in my head, the pain intense as the question circles again, “Jol, what's wrong, are you ok?”
“Jez is that you?”
“Yes”
“I can't see you where did you go?”
“I'm right here.”
My surroundings suddenly pop into view along with the pressure in my ears, I can feel the cold night air and see Jez's concerned face in front of me.
“There you are, don't leave me like that again.”
Jez saw my comments as genuine but he had not left my side, he did not want to worry me with his concerns on the state of my mind.
“I will not leave, can you stand?”
I grab his hand as he helps me to my feet, the horizon spins, my fingers slip from his grasp and I’m back on the ground with a jolt, my head still aches, I feel the skin tender and sore as my fingers find the lump on my temple.
“Woah! A little woozy eh?”
“I feel strange, my head hurts, what happened to me Jez?”
“When the beast left you fainted and hit your head on the rock, can you see me ok?”
His kind blue eyes bore into me as I reach up and touch the side of his face and nod.
“I can see you fine but you are all I can see the rest is a blur and my toes are numb, what's happening Jez, I can't feel my toes, is this another nightmare?”
Jez took off his leather jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders, it was getting dark and colder and he wondered if we could survive the night, he sat down in front of me and removed my boots, “your toes are blue” he said, concern in his voice.
I watch as he begins rubbing my toes in his hands, urging the blood to return as he adds, “it's a nightmare but not the kind you're thinking of, we have to keep warm or we'll die here tonight on this hillside. There is a way we can keep warm but you're not gonna like it, can you feel them now?”
I nod as he replaces my boots.
“Our only chance of survival is to keep warm, there is a way.”
“Is there a cottage nearby?” I ask hopeful as he lifts me in his arms and continues down across the land.
We had not walked far when he stops and sets me back down on the ground. His blurred image is kneeling just ahead but I can’t see what he is doing,“Ugh! Jez, what's that rotten smell?”
Jez moved quickly, using his penknife to scrape away the dead flesh from the inside of the great stags carcass, he could hardly believe his luck when he had spied the deer, he hauled Jol up carefully by the hand and edged her forward towards the dead beast.
“Here touch this” he says holding my hand out towards the great antlers.
I allow my fingers to caress the great beast’s crown, I do not flinch as the blackness of his eyes come into view. He had lived long, the antlers with four points, just like the stag back in Kamerrean. The stench of his rotting flesh fading, as I take in the enormity of the beast and his undignified demise.
“We must huddle together inside,” said Jez “his body will help to contain the heat of ours.”
“Jez! I can't! we can't, I mean it's barbaric!”
He grasps my hand tight in his, “Do you want to live? do you want to live to see Al'ice again?”
I look back at the great beast, look into his eyes, seeking permission as I contemplated what we must do, I knew he was right and wondered if Jez had watched the same survival programme on the discovery channel. In my heart I couldn’t do it, how could I sleep within the majesty of his body, how could I stand the smell?
I realise now I can see much clearer and look out across the mountain, the darkening sky illuminating the horizon with a greenish glow tinged with red, the diffused curtains of colour arching and dipping like flowing silk.
“Look Jez, the aurora borealis, have you ever seen anything so magical?”
Jez looked up at the dance of spirits as he knew it, remembering a lesson from college he adds, “the emissions of photons in the earth's upper atmosphere, oxygen and nitrogen atoms, ionised or excited by the collision of solar wind particles and funnelled along the earth’s magnetic field lines.”
“Wow! You are full of surprises.”
My head is throbbing, I touch it but it does not heal nor does the rough patch of skin grazed across my cheek, my touch only makes the pain worse. Somewhere between the pain, the cold, the science and the awful stench, my thoughts begin to spin as I faint into Jez's waiting arms.
The blackness of the night speckled with the bright white of the stars engulf the horizon as the great white stag lift
s his head in recognition of my presence. His majesty glowing from antler tip to tail and he smells oddly of lavender. I walk towards him and curtsy in respect to the great beast, who lifts his head with a snort, “Come here” his voice echoes around my skull.
I edge closer, “Climb on my back gwenhwyfar” he demands.
I obey and haul my body over his tall frame, grabbing a hold of the back of his antlers as he leaps into the night. We are soaring high above the stars, the wind rushing against me, drying my damp clothes.
“You keep dangerous company little one, I will not always be here to watch over you.”
He comes to an abrupt halt and I see the lush grass and the burgundy forest of Kamerrean before me as I slide from his back. Turning to thank his majesty for the magnificent ride, he has vanished and I am all alone, or am I?
The eyes watching from the forest beckon me forward, forward to greet them. I walk forward entranced by their spell. The sun’s rays warming my skin as I now stand at an entrance to a large canopy of dappled light. The stag I had seen before when I had been here with Al’ice, steps forward from behind the trees and nuzzles my arm.
“What do you want majesty?” I ask.
He bowed his huge neck and turns back to the forest. I follow him. As I walk I feel a thousand eyes on my back but I am not scared, the eyes do not threaten me. At last we arrive at a small clearing where among a cluster of tall stems, a young foal sleeps curled in a ball and snuggled up to a bundle of black fur, the bundle stretches its paw and yawns, its tiny sharp white teeth exposed in the sunlight before lowering its head back to sleep.
“I don't understand?” I turned to question the stag but he has now vanished too.
“What don't you understand?” asks Jez.
I blink my eyes and see the red of Jez's t-shirt against my face. I am buried against his chest, his sweat not as bad as you would think a sweet musky odour. The faint dawn rays pierce his arms that encapsulate me. We are still inside the carcass. He has wrapped himself around me to keep warm, with his back exposed to the elements. I can still smell faint traces of lavender.
“Can we get out of here?” I ask pushing my hands against his chest to move him, “I can't breathe.”
Jez rolls backwards and helps me from the deer, the fresh mountain air brings back the awful stench of decay as we emerge.
“How could you stand the smell, at least I fainted!”
Jez stretched his arms over his head, pulling his muscles back into shape.
“Survival I suppose, besides you smell like oranges, that helps.”
I blush as I recall our closeness inside the deer’s body, there is something endearing about him, his honesty, he’s always there, no matter what.
“How's your eyes?” he asks, watching me blink against the light.
I take a while to answer him as I test my sight against the diverse landscape.
“Jez did you have any dreams last night?”
“No, are you sure you're ok?”
“Fine, I'm thirsty.”
Jez stood tall and surveyed our surroundings, “look, down to the left, I think that's a stream.”
I follow his outstretched arm and stomp off in the direction of the supposed stream, saying nothing more.
Jez follows, watching my determined walk from behind thinking it was good to have the old Jol back.
“So, what don't you understand?” he calls.
Picking our way through the rocky terrain, the stream looms into view and soon becomes a fast flowing river, our thirst driving us forward.
Stooping to cup his hand for a drink, Jez wondered about the monster, surely it was too big to dwell within these waters. It could be out at sea by now. He brushed at his jacket to rid it of the creatures dried fluids and blinked as he thought he saw a woman's face in the water, he reached forward into the depths but the face was gone, this unnerved him a little, now he was imagining things.
My footsteps dislodge the small rocks as I approach him with a menacing look upon my face, the memories of yesterday becoming all too clear. I am a tad angry.
“Are you alright?” he asks.
Without warning I launch myself at him punching his chest, forcing him back onto his knees at the water’s edge.
“What the hell were you doing?” I scream, “I could have been eaten or, or something!”
From his watery seat he replies, “Well you're fine now eh!”
“No, I am not!” I reply glaring at him.
I lunge at him again, my long finger nails pulling at the front of his t-shirt, ripping it, he leaps to his feet and grabs hold of my wrists, I struggle, frantic to get away from the waters edge.
“You're Crazy” he shouts, pinning my arms to my sides, attempting to tame my rage, with our faces centimetres apart, the chess game replays itself, as he grabs the back of my head, pulling me closer into his kiss.
I know I was acting like a mad woman but for a moment, just a moment I began to melt, responding to his lips before I realise what was happening.
“What the hell! What are you doing Jez? There's something in the water, I was trying to pull you away from it!”
I wipe at my lips in disgust, one moment and I had lost myself in the emotion and just managed to break away before I lost control, lost control like I had once before.
Jez looked down at his torn shirt and back towards the shadow in the water, my nails had pierced his skin and dragged scratches which now bled. He realises I am not crazy after all. There is something in the water. We both step backwards away from the water’s edge, transfixed by the moving shadow within.
“We have to keep moving, come on.”
He grabs hold of my shaking hand and leads me away. We do not stray far from the water, using it as a guide leading us south, we hope.
We pick our way through the heather and gorse devoid of further conversation, the air around us tense as we each process that kiss in our minds.
‘Bishop to your castle, check.’
‘Wise choice, you have not lost your talent for the game.'
Jez woke in a sweat, his eyes open like a rabbit caught in the headlights. The dream so vivid it had caught him by surprise. De ja vu, they call it, he had been here before, waking after dreaming of playing chess. Jez had never played chess but it wasn’t the game that bothered him. In his first dream he stood reached across the table and kissed his opponent, Jol. This time there was to be no kiss just a tightening in his chest, fear and anticipation of formally meeting his new found kin. The memories tortured him, he no longer needed to dream of his past, it was there throbbing at his forehead like an unwanted migraine. The sweat was fear of the memories to come, the last few days of his life before the coma.