Once we’re in the downstairs room Rod is straight over to the TV. He puts on a music channel that is showing music videos under the title of Golden Oldies. Knowing how cool Iona is, I’m surprised she doesn’t prefer a little Kendrick Lamar.
I don't feel weird or on edge around Millsy’s family at all. I certainly feel more relaxed than I do around my auntie Mary. With the exception of the friction between Millsy and Jay, everyone is so nice and friendly, which makes a refreshing change.
As the room starts to fill with other family members and friends I notice Jay hanging around by the pool table. He’s rolling the white ball across the table with his hand, bouncing it off the cushion, catching it before doing it again. With Millsy busy being fussed over by a couple of older ladies, I head over to chat to Jay.
Jay looks good in a pair of black skinny jeans and a white shirt. His hair and beard are neat as ever. I don’t think I've ever seen him with a hair out of place. In contrast, Millsy, who really does spend a lot of time and money on his appearance, often loses control of his longish curly locks. I do love Millsy’s hair though. It's wild and unpredictable, just like him, but it can be briefly tamed for formal events.
‘It’s a gorgeous chair,’ I tell him.
‘Oh, thanks,’ he says. ‘Not quite a zombie apocalypse but I thought it was nice. Speaking of which, I see you’ve lost your man to the aunties.’
I glance over at Millsy. He has an auntie either side of him. One is stroking his stubbly beard while the other is feeling his biceps. Now it’s Jay who seems a little insecure. Honestly, if these two just decided to get on with each other, and stop competing against one another, they would find it so much easier to spend time together.
‘If it’s any consolation, I’m almost certain the only reason they’re not fussing around you like this is the old blood-relation thing holding them back,’ I point out. ‘And Millsy isn’t my man, we’re just friends.’
‘So, you’re just his friendly neighbourhood plus one?’ Jay asks as he narrows his eyes.
‘That’s exactly what I am,’ I confirm.
‘You know, my mum always makes sure I get the four-poster bed,’ he tells me. ‘But because you’re here with Joe I’ve been relegated to the sofa.’
‘Well, look on the bright side – if they’d given me the sofa, then you would be in with Millsy.’
‘There is that,’ he says with a smile. ‘Perhaps we need a reshuffle of who is sleeping where.’
I feel my throat tighten. I’m not sure if what he just said made me nervous or if this is my body trying to stop me from saying the wrong thing. Thankfully, Jay changes the subject.
‘Do you play pool?’ he asks me.
‘Do I play pool?’ I repeat back to him. I think people usually take one look at me and rightly assume I’m terrible at all sports so I’m a little taken aback by his question. ‘I don’t. Well, I’ve never tried, so…’
‘How about I teach you?’ he suggests.
‘What, right now?’
‘Yeah, why not?’ he says. ‘It’s not that hard.’
‘I’m more of a puzzles and video games kind of girl,’ I confess.
‘Well, it’s not all that different once you know how to hold the cue,’ he explains. ‘It’s all about working out which shot to take, how best to take it, which move to make next. I think you’ll be great at it.’
‘OK, cool,’ I say, trying not to sound too excited, but actually sounding the exact opposite. ‘Let’s do it.’
Jay places the balls inside the triangle before positioning them in the right place on the table. Then he grabs a couple of cues and the little cubes of chalky stuff you see the pros using. He hands me one of each.
‘Do like I do,’ he says as he rubs the tip of the cue. ‘See, we already look professional.’
I’m not even sure how necessary this is but I feel as if I look professional. I can’t help but smile.
‘OK, are you ready to break?’ he asks.
‘Are you kidding me? Breaking things is what I’m best at,’ I joke.
Jay smiles.
‘OK, the first important thing to learn – because if we’re doing this, we’re doing it right,’ he starts. ‘Before you break you need to make sure your cue is chalked and that the rack is frozen – meaning all the balls in the triangle are touching. I’ve done this for you but if you’re going to go pro, you need to know this, got it?’
‘Oh, I got it,’ I say with a playful salute.
‘The cue ball is in place. I’m sure you’ve seen enough pool on TV and in films to have a guess at how to stand so, get yourself in position, then I’ll tell you what to do.’
Christ, is it hot in here, or is it me?
I have a crack at how you’re supposed to stand to break before looking to Jay for feedback. I’m sort of bent over the table with the cue rested on my left hand in front of me.
‘Not bad actually,’ he says. ‘But just…’
Jay stands close behind me.
‘Spread your legs a little wider,’ he suggests. ‘So, for a normal shot you want to be like this, for a break, you want to straighten up a little, so you can generate more power.’
As I attempt to straighten up a little I gently press my body against Jay behind me. He doesn’t even flinch.
It suddenly occurs to me that I’d forgotten about everyone else in the room. I glance over to where I last saw Millsy but he isn’t there. I only have to look around the room for a second to spot him, sitting in an armchair, glaring over at us. Suddenly being bent over a table by his stepbrother feels awkward.
‘You want to keep your grip loose and slowly draw back the cue,’ Jay continues. ‘Then drive forward with both your hand and hips simultaneously.’
As Jay tells me how to do this he guides me with his body behind mine, practically thrusting me into the table. Who knew pool could be so sexy?
‘Wahey, you did it,’ he says. ‘That’s a really good break.’
‘Yeah? Thanks,’ I reply, glancing over to see if Millsy is still giving me evils. He isn’t there though.
‘How about we play?’ I hear his voice all of a sudden. ‘Now you’ve finished me-too-ing Cara.’
‘Oh, no, it’s fine,’ I insist. ‘He was just showing me how to play.’
‘Great, you can be the umpire for our game,’ Millsy tells me.
‘She could be the referee,’ Jay corrects him. ‘But I’m not playing you, I’d thrash you.’
‘Come on, you’re not scared, are you?’ Millsy goads him.
‘Joe, you know I’ve played in tournaments. It wouldn’t be fair,’ Jay reasons.
‘Chicken,’ Millsy says under his breath.
‘Why don’t you play Cara?’ Jay suggests. ‘I can advise her. It would be a good way for her to learn.’
‘I’d like that,’ I say with an encouraging smile.
If I can get Millsy and Jay playing together, but not exactly competing with each other, then maybe we can all find some common ground and try to get along. Even if we just make a tiny bit of progress, I’ll feel as if I’ve done something positive.
‘He’s just worried I’ll kick his arse,’ Millsy tells me. ‘He’s scared I’m going to make him look bad in front of you.’
‘Erm, no, I’m not,’ Jay insists. ‘You’re the one who needs to worry about getting your arse kicked. It’s how you make all your money, isn’t it?’
I snap my neck in Millsy’s direction so quickly I feel dizzy.
‘Oh, nice one, big mouth,’ Millsy snaps at him.
‘What does that even mean?’ I ask.
‘Hasn't he told you? He’s Tom Hardy’s bottom,’ Jay explains. ‘Or Freddie Bianchi’s or Henry Cavill’s – that type.’
I mean, I thought I knew what being someone’s bottom meant, but I’m pretty sure I must be wrong in this instance.
‘I’m a body double in movies,’ Millsy tells me.
‘What, like you do stunts?’
‘No, I’m literally people’
s body parts. So if someone has to get naked, I fill in for them.’
‘Oh, no way,’ I reply. ‘That’s actually really cool. Why do you keep it a secret?’
‘Well, people usually ask to see my arse, either in person, or ask to know what movies they can see it in,’ he replies.
‘I would be interested to know,’ one of the aunties chimes in. I didn’t even realise she was listening.
If I feel anything about Millsy being a body double – other than being impressed – I’m just sad that he felt as if he couldn’t tell me.
‘Right, are we playing or not?’ Millsy asks Jay. ‘I’m even more motivated to beat you now.’
‘OK, fine, you asked for it,’ Jay replies as he resets the table.
Oh, wonderful. A nice, friendly game of pool between stepbrothers. What could possibly go wrong?
18
Earlier today I thought that narrowly avoiding drowning Millsy’s gran’s dog was as bad as things could get, but I’ve been through so much since then. I’m older and wiser now. I didn’t think it was possible but somehow someone else’s birthday has aged me.
Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that things can only get better because, I promise you, they can always get worse, and they usually will.
I’m tempted to say it’s hard to work out exactly where things went wrong but I’m pretty sure that, in addition to the series of events where things kept getting worse, something went wrong between Millsy and Jay long before I came into the picture. I can’t help but wonder what though, because there is no way this is just your run-of-the-mill sibling rivalry. They were both grown men who weren’t living under their parent’s roof when their families merged, so it isn’t as if anyone’s nose was put out; there must be more to it.
So Millsy and Jay were playing pool and, despite the table being in the centre of the room – the heart of the party – it was as if someone had drawn a circle around the table and extracted the party atmosphere from inside it.
Things were tense. It was like being in a bar in the Wild West, watching a stand-off between two cowboys, and I should have known that there was no way they were both coming out of this showdown unscathed.
It’s hard to say what happened. Well, actually, it’s easy to say what happened: Millsy gave Jay a black eye – but it’s hard to say how, exactly.
As far as I could tell they seemed to be quite evenly matched, which only seemed to be frustrating them even more, but then Millsy wanted to use a cue rest, and for some reason Jay didn’t want him to, and then rowing over it turned into fighting over it, both with a hand on the cue rest, refusing to let go. At first to ‘win’ the argument the goal was to refuse to let go but then, when they both realised that ‘winning’ the argument might be down to being the bigger man and letting go, there could only be one person to let go first. So Millsy let go, Jay wasn’t expecting him to, and he essentially hit himself in the face with cue rest. But it was Millsy’s fault, as far as Jay was concerned – as far as everyone was concerned – so Millsy was banished to his bedroom. What kind of friend/plus one would I be if I didn’t go with him?
So we sat in our room for a while, chatting, playing cards on the bed. I asked Millsy if he wanted to talk about Jay, but he didn’t. Instead we talked about his career as a body double, which is a job I've never really thought about, but one that sounds so interesting. More than anything though I was just relieved to know that he makes money legally, meaning I can keep renting a room from him and not be in danger. Well, any more danger than I seem to be creating for myself lately.
It’s been a fun few hours but now Millsy is flat out asleep in bed – spooning Dougie, which is pretty cute – and, with the noise of the party having fizzled out a while ago, now feels like the perfect time for me to go and get that cup of tea I’ve been craving all night, now I know that everyone is tucked up in a bed and probably fast asleep.
I creep out of the bedroom, careful not to wake Millsy or Dougie, and tiptoe along the corridor towards the living room.
‘Oh, sorry,’ I blurt the second I clap eyes on Jay in the dimly lit room.
He’s lying back on the sofa with a duvet over him. When he said he was sleeping on the sofa I assumed he meant something like a sofa bed in a spare room, not the actual living-room sofa. At least I know that I didn’t wake him up. He’s currently holding a bag of frozen peas on his face.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ he says. ‘You OK?’
‘Yeah, just fancied a cup of tea,’ I tell him. ‘Fancy one?’
‘That would be lovely, thanks.’
‘Milk and sugar?’
‘Just milk, please,’ he replies with a half-smile. It seems as if maybe it hurts him to move his face.
‘OK, back in a sec.’
By the time I get back to the living room with the cups of tea, Jay has sat up straight, leaving me room to sit down next to him.
I place the cups down on the table and take a seat next to him.
‘How’s the face?’ I ask.
‘Sore,’ he replies, wincing as he removes his bag of frozen peas.
‘Is that helping?’
‘Not really but I’m hoping it will keep the swelling and the bruising to a minimum. I’ve got a presentation at work in two days. I really don’t want to do it looking like I’ve been in a bar fight.’
‘I bet,’ I reply. ‘And I don’t suppose the truth sounds great either, does it?’
‘Not even a bit,’ he says with a laugh.
His cheek is bright red, which is probably from the frozen peas, but you can see a real shiner blossoming. There’s no way he’s going to be doing this presentation without a black eye – or a tonne of concealer.
‘Can I ask you a question?’ I start cautiously.
‘Sure,’ he replies.
As he leans forward to grab his tea I realise that, under the duvet on his lap, he’s only wearing a vest and boxers. Well, I suppose I’m technically in his bed right now. I swear, this wasn’t what I had planned when I decided to pop to the kitchen, although it does seem suspicious that I turned up in my pyjamas. Then again, if I were making a move on him, I definitely wouldn’t have turned up in these absolutely not sexy plaid PJs.
‘What’s the deal with you and Millsy?’ I jump to the chase. ‘Because, I don’t know, things between the two of you are pretty intense, way worse than your regular sibling rivalry. I just wondered why.’
‘Hasn’t he told you anything?’ Jay asks. He seems surprised.
‘He hasn’t…’
‘Of course, he hasn’t,’ he says with an eye roll. ‘Things didn’t used to be so bad between us – we weren’t exactly one another’s cup of tea, but we got along OK. Things were ticking along just fine until one day when, well, Millsy being Millsy…’
Whatever Jay is trying to say, I feel as if he’s struggling to get it out.
‘What, did he do something?’ I prompt. God, I’m gripped now.
‘Yeah, he… he slept with my girlfriend.’
‘What?’
‘Yep. So, as you can imagine, it’s quite hard for me to be around him. I try my best but, I don’t know, I guess the bad blood just isn’t going to go away any time soon.’
‘My God, that’s horrible. Was it not some kind of misunderstanding?’
‘I don’t think so. It was a girl I was seeing, maybe he thought we weren’t that serious or…’ He sighs. ‘I don’t know. I’m sure you know what he’s like by now.’
People keep hinting – or straight up telling me – about Millsy’s reputation as a ‘love ’em and leave ’em’ type but, honestly, if I hadn’t heard it from other people, I wouldn’t know that to be the case. I mean, I could believe it. He’s good-looking, charming, women flock to him. I just feel as if he’s been so good to me, for nothing in return, he’s never tried it on with me – all I can do is take him at face value. But obviously, if he did sleep with Jay’s girlfriend, that’s awful and I’m not surprised they don’t get on. I'm going to put it to
the back of my mind, unless Millsy tells me himself, but even then, he doesn’t seem like that sort of person now – and it’s not like we’re romantically involved, is it? I don’t need to worry about him breaking my heart.
‘Do you think the two of you can figure it out?’ I ask.
Jay seems so easy to talk to. He’s so mature and level-headed. I don’t find it difficult, talking about the big stuff with him.
‘Maybe one day,’ he replies. ‘Not tonight though.’
‘He’s asleep anyway,’ I point out with a smile.
‘You not tired?’
‘Not really,’ I reply. ‘I don’t suppose the caffeine will help either.’
‘You wanna hang out for a bit?’ Jay suggests. ‘It will be nice to have a chat, get to know each other, just the two of us.’
‘Yeah, definitely,’ I reply brightly.
I pull my legs up underneath myself and grab my tea, making myself comfortable.
‘So, what do you want to talk about?’ I ask.
‘Everything,’ he replies with a smile.
19
‘Good morning, Cara,’ Millsy says as he gently rocks me by the shoulder.
‘Morning,’ I reply. I can tell it’s light in the room, even with my eyes closed, so I keep them tightly shut.
‘Sleep well?’ he asks softly.
‘Mmm, great, thanks,’ I reply. ‘You?’
‘Yeah, not bad,’ he says.
I furrow my brow, my eyes still closed. Something isn’t right, I don’t know what it is… Millsy’s voice sounds weird.
I open my eyes to see Millsy sitting in front of me. That’s when I realise I’m still in the living room, on the sofa with a duvet over me. Millsy is sitting on the coffee table, up and dressed, staring at me.
‘Erm…’
I sit up straight as I try to work out what happened. Shit, I must have fallen asleep on the sofa while I was chatting with Jay. Double shit, Jay is still asleep next to me.
‘You slept with my brother then, huh?’
‘Yeah, well, I mean… I slept next to your brother, by accident,’ I insist, keeping my voice as low as possible.
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