I hope that everyone wishing to change how they live will make their own list so that values and goals are clearly evident. Positive change doesn’t always happen by itself; it sometimes needs a nudge. Lists give you a good starting point–not only will they confirm your intentions, they will also be a guide.
The next list you need to make is of all the things you need to change to make your first list a reality. This is the list that breaks down something like ‘taking charge of my home’ into specific actions like ‘learn how to cook from scratch’ and ‘start a vegetable garden’. If you want to list the individual tasks you want to include in your daily life, do so. These two lists are your life plan and your action plan, they will be the starting point to your new, simpler life. I hope you’re ready for this; it’s going to be a wonderful and significant journey.
Doing it together
So far it sounds like the transition from our old lives to this new way of living was seamless and easy, but that’s not quite true. One of the things I struggled with was Hanno’s reaction. He didn’t understand what I wanted to change and when I explained this half-baked idea I had, he wasn’t happy. He had retired after forty years as a diesel fitter in the mining industry and had bought a little shop in Montville selling furniture, prints, lamps and gifts, and he didn’t see a need to change.
While Hanno liked the idea of giving up paid work, he thought it was idealistic and unreasonable to think that two people on the verge of retirement could do so without suffering financial consequences. His response when I posed the question was a firm, ‘No!’ I respected his decision but I didn’t agree with it. I went ahead with it anyway. I had already closed down my writing business, and when he went out to work every day I worked on my plan at home, learning as much as I could. I didn’t know how much we needed to live on and I had no idea of the work involved, but I intended to find out.
The only money I had to spend was the grocery money. It was my only tool, so I used it. I started to stockpile groceries, I increased the number and variety of vegetables we were growing and bought a few more chickens. I went from spending $300 a week on groceries to spending much less by using those new (to me) methods. I put money into an emergency fund so we had a cushion in case something went wrong. Over the next few months I built up our vegetable garden further, taught myself to bake good bread, bought a waterbath preserver and started preserving and freezing our excess food. I read everything I could get my hands on. I started remembering how my mother and grandmother had worked in their homes. The whole time I never mentioned to Hanno what I was doing.
By the time I brought up the subject of Hanno giving up work again, about nine months later, our two sons had left home and there were just the two of us to look after. When he saw the amount of money I had saved from our normal grocery money he was shocked. He understood then that we didn’t need a large amount of money to live on. We’d paid off the mortgage and credit cards and I had drawn up a budget that showed we could live on $350 a week, including our rates, groceries, insurances, car and dog registrations – everything. (This later increased to our current $400 a week.) He was almost convinced we could do it.
Not long after that he closed our shop in Montville and we started the freefall into our new life. Hanno applied for the age pension, which helped cover some of our ongoing expenses, but he wasn’t completely convinced we could do it until we’d lived the life for six months. After we’d done that, he agreed it was not only possible for us, it was right and it felt good. He dived right in.
I think when it comes to change, one partner tends to see the possibilities before the other. It can be frustrating for both parties because one is convinced it can be done and the other is convinced it can’t be. I took the soft approach, and it worked. I thought the best way to show it could be done was to do it. Everyone who shops for groceries each week can do what I did. You can show your partner that cutting costs is not only possible, it’s sustainable over a long period. And when you suddenly produce the money you’ve saved, it opens up all sorts of possibilities.
I am sure that many who read this book will be in a similar situation to ours. If your partner is hesitant about a life change, change yourself and work towards your dream alone first. There are many things you can do on your own. Show what is possible, then you’ll have something more tangible to discuss when you raise the subject again.
Bloom where you are planted
Last year we had a tomato bush growing in the grass, next to the hard surface of our back verandah. It came up out of nowhere; it was not planned, or planted by either of us. It just arrived. We held up the bush with sticks and a couple of pieces of metal from an old card rack. It grew to be healthy and huge – much bigger than our planned and carefully planted tomatoes. We ate the tomatoes from that plant for a few months. They were delicious and every day they were like unexpected gifts. Life doesn’t always go according to your plans so when you’re not in your ideal situation, bloom where you are planted.
I cannot stress enough that simple living is not about a particular geographical location; it is not something that happens only in the countryside, nor is it confined to a certain city, or to the suburbs. You do not have to live on a farm or a homestead or in a cave. A simple life can flourish anywhere. Simple living is more about a powerful change in attitude and how you apply that change to the way you live. You could be living in a tent on the top of a mountain, an apartment block in New York City or a beach house in Australia. Your home could be the suburbs of London or Paris, the wild open spaces of Alaska or any crowded city in the world; a simple life is possible anywhere. It’s not about where your home is, it’s about where your head is.
It’s not about where your home is, it’s about where your head is.
The vision of packing up and leaving the city to live a simple life in the country is a common one, but it is not a realistic vision for many people. It’s often a romantic, idealised dream to live a life uncomplicated by traffic, pollution, crowds, violence and uncertainty. Sometimes people move to a location that looks perfect, but when they get there they can’t find a job, the schools are too far away and the idyllic simple life they dream of is still out of reach. Their life is still complicated, just by different things.
One of my favourite aspects of simple living is that you make do with what you have, and that includes your location. It’s an old-fashioned notion and the opposite of what’s currently in favour: instant gratification and having what you want at any price. Simple living is not about buying a lifestyle, it’s about building a life – using what you already have. And just like making a meal using basic ingredients, what you end up with is something suited exactly to you, not someone else’s idea of what you should want. So no matter where you’re living, you can make it better by altering your attitude, making a few simple changes and making the best of what you have.
Your location is only a small part of your simple life. You can also concentrate on these other activities:
building a strong family or network of friends
earning a living and reducing debt
simplifying your everyday activities
reducing your spending
reskilling yourself for the life you want to live
contributing to your community
getting to know your neighbours
slowing down and living with a peaceful mindset
cultivating generosity and kindness
decluttering your home
being aware of your environmental responsibilities
reducing your use of water, power, fuel and gas
reusing, reducing and recycling
being grateful for what you have and making do.
If location is an issue for you, maybe you can start on these many other aspects of simple living, and in time, location might sort itself out. Make the best of what you have right now while you work towards your dream. Indeed, making the most of every day is as much a part of simple living as slowing d
own, growing vegetables, and all the rest. I can’t tell you what will give you a life of happiness, enjoyment and satisfaction – that is for you to decide. What I hope is to give you the motivation and the information to help you start moving towards simplicity, and to tell you as clearly as I can that you can start living your simple life today.
‘I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience . . .’
From Walden by Henry David Thoreau
Living simply is much more than a financial strategy; it’s more than your location, more than how you manage your home or plant your vegetables. It’s about you: how you think about your life and how you express your values every day. Anyone can learn to budget, make yoghurt, knit dishcloths and grow tomatoes; the real trick is for your actions to reflect your simple philosophy. What good is it to list the hundred things you’ve accomplished if you’re not made happy by what you do, if you aren’t renewed by it, and if you don’t do it with grace, humility and generosity?
Living deliberately means thinking about what you want your life to be and making the decisions you need to make to take you there, rather than just reacting to what life throws at you. It requires a period of thought about you and your values, and how to live according to those values.
When you deliberately choose this way of life, you will be making life-changing decisions and taking steps to put those changes in place. You’ll probably simplify your daily activities, reduce spending on non-essential items, start paying off debt, develop a more independent mindset. There will be many things you’ll do differently, but if you do them well, if you really throw yourself into your life, if you live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, not only will you be living deliberately, you will be changed by it.
Independence, freedom and choice
How will you go about living the life I’ve described here? Stop living according to the expectations of others and focus on building a life that is unique to you. It’s okay to say ‘no’ to others and ‘yes’ to yourself. Be mindful, make your own decisions, work out what will work for you and don’t feel guilty or undecided if your family or friends aren’t doing or don’t understand what you do. Imagine your own life, and how you want it to be, then work to make that vision a reality. Don’t be put off, don’t listen to the naysayers; go with your heart and do what is right for you. I don’t fit in the over-sixty pigeonhole, and I do not look to those around me for validation. That has helped me build this life I live. If I’d listened to all the unwanted advice I got when I started to change, I’d still be in debt and wondering, ‘Is this all there is?’
The sum total of this life is much more than the individual parts because it adds up to give us independence, freedom, choice, security, joy and the comforting knowledge that we make our lives what they are. Like any good organic system, it creates a cycle that shows us that what we put into our lives gently returns to us in new and wonderful ways.
This book is in your hands because I wrote down what worked for us as we were changing how we lived. I realised it was becoming a guide that others could use too, and I was lucky that others saw that potential as well. In the following chapters I’ve written about how Hanno and I deal with our finances, how we shop and store food, how to make cleaners, laundry liquid, soap and bread, how to organise and declutter and how to plant a productive garden. There is information about family life, housekeeping and self-reliance, and a whole lot more. You don’t have to live how your friends or neighbours live, and nor do you have to live how I live. Remember, this is a menu, not a prescription. Gather the information you want, then choose what will fit into your life. No one knows your life – or the life you want – better than you. So be guided by me and this book, by your family and friends, but in the end, make the life you want – even if it’s different from everyone else’s.
And if you want day-to-day contact with like-minded folk, or if you want to ask questions about your change, just visit my forum (downtoearthforums.com) and make contact. You’ll be greeted by many people from all over the world who, like you, are striving to live more simply.
Almost everything in this book can be learnt at any stage of life, at any age. However, just for this chapter, I want to focus on a few adult stages of life, and see how simple living might fit into those stages. Because in each stage of life – and these can generally be defined by each adult decade – you grow and have different needs, and while you live each day to its fullest, you also prepare for what will follow.
The trick in every stage of life is to get through it with the people and things that make life worth living, without being saddled with debt. The one debt that will travel with you through a few stages is a mortgage; try not to have other debts with it that tie you down. Let me stress here that money should never be the most important thing in anyone’s life, but it helps us live in the present and build for the future, so it will feature heavily at every stage. Money, or more accurately, debt, can make or break the plans you have for yourself.
As you go from one stage to the next, be mindful of what you’ve learnt in the previous decade and build on it. Always follow your own path and define for yourself what you want to include in your life. This kind of life is flexible so if something that worked in the previous decade doesn’t work for you now, don’t be afraid to change it.
Remember, this is my version of simple living, so please model it to suit yourself. These are examples to give you ideas for what you might do.
DECLUTTERING EACH DECADE
You might find different things are important to you in each decade. While there are possessions that you will have with you all your life, some things you must have in your twenties are forgotten about when you’re thirty, forty or fifty. At some point towards the end of each decade, it is wise to declutter and to get rid of those items you no longer need, and to open up your life for new life to flow in. There is information about decluttering in the Home chapter.
When I look back on a life of well over sixty years, there is one recurring question that I wonder about and hear others asking as well: why didn’t someone tell me this when I was twenty!
If you’re lucky and smart, you’ll never stop learning. What you learn at school and university are just the basics to set you up for life; you should continue to learn as you grow older.
Your money and your life
Unless you come from an incredibly wealthy family, work will be a part of your life. Expect to work for what you get and do your fair share. Despite what you may hear and read, work is a significant part of our lives and it will teach you more than you expect it to. When you reach your twenties, lazing on the beach or sleeping in are rewards for the hard work you do, not part of your everyday life.
Some people go through their teens knowing they’ll leave school, study at university or TAFE then develop a career in a certain field. But from my observations and personal experience, many people don’t know what they want to do; they just know what they don’t want. No matter which category you fall into, I want to encourage you to develop a positive attitude towards work. Whether it is paid work or work in the home, working gives a solid framework to our lives. It usually enables us to earn money to build a future and it places families on firm ground.
When you start working for the first time there can be a very strong urge to buy everything you couldn’t have when you were younger. As
soon as we start earning a bit of money, most of us want to create our own style – in what we wear, how we spend our time, where we live and which car we drive. It’s one of the ways we separate ourselves from childhood. The ability to earn and spend money is a modern marker of adult life, and this is often exploited by advertisers urging us to buy more than we need.
Learn how to budget as soon as you start earning your own money, and live within your means. This way you’ll be in control of your money instead of spending every cent you earn. At some stage in their late twenties or early thirties, most people settle down and think about buying a home. If you arrive at that point in control of your money, with little debt and maybe even the beginnings of a home deposit, you will have placed yourself in the best possible position.
Discovering shared values
If you meet the person you want to be with permanently, it’s essential that you talk with them about their values. Without it sounding like an interrogation, find a way to discuss finances, children, ambitions and goals. Your values don’t have to mirror the values of your partner exactly, but they’ll need to be fairly close on the important things. If you’re hoping to live a quiet, debt-free life, it’s important to know if your partner aims for a yacht and a ten-car garage. If you hope to settle down with a couple of kids in your version of semi-rural paradise, it’s best to know if your other half wants to be childless and travel six months of the year. Finding someone whose goals and ideas about the future are sufficiently aligned with yours will smooth your path towards the life you want and ensure that it is a shared journey rather than one filled with unbridgeable differences.
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