"Whatever it is," Chelsea says softly. "As long as no one is hurt, we can rebuild." Everyone is stuck in their own thoughts, so I focus on the black smoke in the sky.
We see the trucks all parked along the road, so Chelsea pulls over to the side of the road. We get out of the truck and hear the men yelling through the trees. We walk down the driveway filled with cars. We start feeling the heat, but we can’t see the barn yet with the trees surrounding us. But as soon as we get close enough, we see the barn, and all four of us halt with a gasp. My feet stick like glue to the grass as I look on in horror.
The red barn is engulfed in flames. The two windows on the top floor are busted out, and orange and yellow flames escape from the holes. The red paint looks like it’s melting off the wood. A fire truck is on each side of the barn with the stainless-steel ladders extended, and two firemen aim their hoses at the top of the roof to douse the flames. I see other firemen on the side at a safe distance as they extinguish the flames lower down. I hear yelling all around them as they work overtime to save what they can.
We make our way over to where the men stand. Willow goes to stand beside Quinn, her hand going into his. You can see the tears in his eyes as he pulls her close to him. Chelsea walks to Mayson, and he puts an arm around her shoulder, pulling her to him. Ethan looks around and spots Emily right away, shaking his head but holding out his hand. I walk to stand beside Asher, who stands beside my father. My father looks over, and we share a look as we both look back at the barn.
The sound of yelling echoes as I feel like I’m watching the scene from out of my body. My eyes fixate on the red and yellow of the flames.
The crackling sound is so loud it makes me come out of my daze. And it all happens in slow motion as we hear more crackling sounds. I look at the firemen yelling something, and then watch as the top of the roof falls to one side, and then the middle collapses in front of our eyes. The heat of the fire rushes to us, and we have to put our hands up to shield our faces.
"Oh my God." I hear from beside me and look back at Asher, who watches the barn go up in flames.
I put my hand on his arm, but his eyes just stare straight ahead. Nothing I can say to him right now will make things better. My hand falls from his arm as I stare ahead at the barn, where I had my first kiss.
The orange flames work their way through the four walls. One of the firemen comes over to us, walking straight up to my father. "You need to step back." He puts his hand on his helmet as he listens to the scramble from his walkie-talkie. "The whole thing is going to go." He looks over at my father. "Jacob, we need you to secure the perimeter. No one in or out."
"Already on it. My guys have been called and have started closing down the roads," my father says, turning to look at us. "Guys, I need you to move away."
He comes to stand in front of me, and I don’t notice the tears running down my face. "It’s going to be okay, honey," he says and wraps his arms around me. "Everyone is safe."
"I know," I say in a whisper, and I move out of his arms because I know he has work to do.
"You going to be okay?" he asks, and I nod. He doesn’t have time to make sure I’m okay. "Ethan," he calls out to my brother. "I’m going to need help."
Ethan kisses Emily’s head and walks toward my dad. "We need to get some tape up all around."
"I can help," Asher says from beside me, and we both look at him.
"Asher," my father says softly. "Are you sure?" He looks over at the barn. "You just lost …"
"Yeah," he says, putting his hands on his hips and letting out a deep breath. "I just lost everything. Not the first time either." He looks over to the barn, his eyes squinting. "With my luck, it probably won’t be the last." He bends his head and walks away toward my father's truck, where Ethan is grabbing the yellow tape.
"I can’t even imagine," I say softly and look over at my father. "What can I do to help?"
"Honestly," my father says, looking around. "The only thing we can do is stay out of the way."
He bends to kiss my cheek before walking away.
I watch as he walks over to the men hovering around his truck. I see my father pointing in different directions and giving orders. My eyes fall on Asher, his shoulders slumped as he listens to my father. I want to rush over to him and tell him it’s going to be okay. I want to hug him and tell him I’m here for him. When he came onto the scene six months ago, I thought he was the sexiest man I’d ever seen. Then we started working side by side, and I found out that he had the best intentions. He would give you the shirt off his back if it would help you. Every single day, I lusted after him more and more, but I knew it would go nowhere. It didn’t stop us from flirting with each other, but in the end, neither of us would be willing to take that step.
The sound of cracking has everyone looking back over to see one side of the barn start to teeter and then slowly crumble to the ground. The heat comes toward us right away, and I put my hand toward my face. It happens in slow motion, and I don’t even know I’m holding my breath. The remaining walls sway side to side as if they're balancing on the edge, and in a blink of an eye, the rest of the barn comes crashing down.
I put my hand in front of my mouth to muffle my scream. I feel heat beside me and look to see Chelsea there, her arm going around my shoulder. "It’s gone," I say, wiping away a tear rolling down my cheek. No matter how many I wipe away, there are more to follow. “It’s all gone.”
"We’ll get it back," she says softly, and then I feel someone put their hand in mine and look over to see Willow.
Her own tears are on her face. "It’s going to be okay," she says. "It’s going to be okay."
I just nod my head as we watch the firemen work at putting out the fire. "We should go," Emily says. "Get out of the way."
I nod and then turn to walk away. I take a couple of steps, then turn back to take one more look at it. With the back of my palm, I wipe away the tears that continue to fall, no matter how many times I wipe them away. "It’ll be okay," Willow says from beside me.
We walk like snails back to the car, all of us looking down and lost in our own thoughts. We see police tape at the front of the lane, and when I look to the side, I see Asher and Ethan wrapping the same tape around a couple of trees. Willow and Emily get into the back seat of the car as I pull open my door, but I stop, looking across the street. Though there are rows and rows of blooming trees, all I can see is black smoke, but for some reason, I feel eyes on me.
"What is it?" Chelsea gets back out of the car and looks at me, her eyes turning to see what I’m looking at.
"Nothing," I say, shaking my head and getting in the car. I close the door and fasten my seat belt. "I guess I’m just feeling out of it," I say, and my eyes try to look into the dark forest, but all I can see is darkness.
Chapter 3
Asher
I walk toward Jacob’s truck with my head down. I don’t even think about what I’ve lost, not when I looked over and saw Amelia with tears running down her cheeks. It made my stomach sink and burn. I wanted to go and comfort her, take her in my arms and tell her how sorry I was. The guilt that this accident could have been my fault rushed through me. We both looked at the blaze as the firemen tried their best to put it out as fast as possible, everyone working together.
"Asher," Jacob calls my name softly, and I look up at him. "If you want to sit this one out …"
I shake my head. "Sitting around and dwelling on this isn’t going to do anybody any good," I say.
"We’ll replace everything," Ethan says, putting his hand on my shoulder and squeezing. "Or we’ll try to anyway."
"You don’t have to do that," I say. "I never had much to begin with." I shake my head, looking back at the barn. "Besides, you guys lost more than I did." I look at him, and he just looks back at the place where the barn used to stand. The orange flames burn through what remains on the ground.
As far back as I can remember, everything I’ve ever owned has fit in one plastic bag. It was a white grocery store
bag with two handles. Until this fire, I still had the bag with me. I could never just throw it away. Instead, I tucked it under the clothes I had.
I was placed into foster care when I was four years old. My mother dropped me off at the babysitter with a kiss on my head, telling me she would see me later.
"There is nothing else I can do," the babysitter hissed at her husband, who was sitting beside me on the worn brown and yellow couch. She picked up the phone again. "This isn’t funny. If you don’t call me back in the next thirty minutes, I have no choice but to call the cops."
I looked from the babysitter back to the television, my stomach rumbling from not eating since I had been there. "Would you feed the kid?" her husband barked when my stomach kept interrupting what the guy on the television was saying.
With a huff, she grabbed me by my arm and brought me back into the kitchen. She set me at the table and said, "Your mother will be here soon." I just nodded and looked over at her. I waited and waited while she made mac and cheese, and for a four-year-old, it felt like forever, but she finally placed it in front of me.
Hearing a knock on the door made me look up, and I suddenly remembered how happy I was, knowing that my mom was there. I ran to the front door, only to be confronted by two police officers. They came in the front door and then went into the kitchen while I was told to sit on the couch. I couldn’t really hear anything but their mumbling. Another knock on the door made me get up, thinking for sure this was my mother.
The door opened, and a woman came in, dressed in a long skirt and a white shirt. I remember looking at her and wondering if my mom sent her to come get me. Her friends were always picking me up and taking me places.
The woman went to the kitchen, giving me a sad smile on the way there, and I just didn’t understand what was going on. "Looks like you are going into the system," the husband said from beside me. "It was just a matter of time."
One of the police officers came back out with the woman who just got there. "Hi, Asher," the woman said, sitting down next to me. "I’m Shauna, and this is Detective Moro." She pointed at the police officer standing in his blue uniform. "We are going to take you somewhere while we find your mom."
I wanted to laugh at the irony of it. I slept at someone’s house that night. I woke up the next day, hoping that my mom would be there, but for the next three days, it was the same story. No one knew anything. No one paid attention to me. The person fed me two meals a day and made sure that when Shauna came to see me, I was clean. For three days, I tried to stay awake. I constantly looked out the window for my mom, convinced she would come soon. But that wasn’t how the story would end. Four days later, they found her lying on a stainless-steel stretcher in the morgue.
She was in the car with a guy driving high and drunk and ran head-on into the median on the highway. I was a ward of the state from that day on, jumping from one foster home to the next. It didn’t take me long to realize I was a paycheck for all of them, and trust me, they let me know each day.
I feel someone push me to the side, and I blink away the memories. There is no time to dwell on the past. That was my motto from when I turned thirteen. Turning my head, I see all the men have gathered around us. Ethan stands beside me, and Beau is next to him. Casey comes close to us, but he stands just outside of the circle. His hands are going crazy on his phone. My eyes go back to the ground as I listen to Jacob give orders.
"Gentlemen," he starts. "The fire marshal wants us to secure the premises," Jacob says, and I look at him, the pounding in my head intensifying. "The fire marshal just said he doesn’t think this fire will be out anytime soon." He looks at me, then at the other guys. "It’s going to be a long night." He stops talking when he looks up and sees Casey coming back to us.
All eyes turn to him when he stands beside Jacob. "Just got off the phone with my father. He said there has been no activity on the other farms." He looks down. "But until we get any report from the fire chief, I want us to keep our eyes open." He looks at us, and I nod at him.
"Okay, let’s get this closed off and see what else we can do," Jacob says and turns to hand Ethan a roll of tape.
"I’ll go with Ethan," I say, and Jacob looks up at me and nods.
"We are going to close off the right side of the driveway," Ethan tells his father as he points in that direction. I hear Beau and Mayson talk about taking the other side, but I just put my head down and walk away with Ethan.
The heat hits my back right away. "We’ll get it all back," Ethan says, and I look over at him, then back down at the green grass. "Whatever you lost in there, my family will make sure that you get it all back."
I stop walking and turn to look back, thinking that maybe it looks worse than it is, but then one side of the barn falls, and the dust and black smoke fill the air. "Whatever I had in there wasn’t anything that I can’t replace." He holds out the tape for me. "Let’s just make sure no one gets hurt." It’s Ethan’s turn to nod. I walk toward a tree while he holds the tape, my eyes going to the barn as I see the flames still going. I wrap the yellow caution tape around the tree, then make my way over to one of the gate posts. The heat from the fire hits me right away.
We secure the one spot, making sure anyone coming by can see the tape and not enter.
The air smells of burned wood. Anyone who didn’t know would think we were having a bonfire. With the help of all the guys, we secure and make sure all entries to the barn are blocked off. The sweat drips from me as we get closer and closer to the burning barn, trying to close off as close as we can to make sure everyone stays safe.
The sound of the firemen yelling makes us look back over at the barn. We see the firemen running away from the barn, and the sound of crackling fills the silence as the rest of the barn falls to the ground. The rush of heat we feel has us holding up our arms to block our face.
We stand here in stunned silence. In a matter of hours, what is left is a pile of debris with the flames still going.
The sun goes down, and the only things that light up the barn are the lights from the two fire trucks. Jacob has us all bring our vehicles to the barn and shine our headlights in order to help.
"There is food over there. You guys should eat something," Jacob says, coming to Ethan and me with two water bottles in his hands.
"Thank you." I open the bottle and gulp down the cold water.
"The fire chief came to talk to me," Jacob says, his voice going lower so he’s not overheard.
I stop drinking when I see him look at me, and then his eyes go down. Something about his look makes the water I just drank work its way back up. "What is it?" The fear that this fire was my fault has been playing in my head over and over again. How the fuck was I going to pay to replace the whole barn? How the fuck would I be able to look into anyone’s eyes, knowing I destroyed their barn? How the fuck would I be able to forgive myself? The shock and numbness take over now, and I feel hollow inside.
“He can’t confirm it for sure,” Jacob says, my head falling as I wait for him to accuse me. But instead, the words that come out of his mouth shock me even more. “But he did say that it looks like arson.”
Chapter 4
Amelia
Looking out the window, I see the black smoke starting to thin out. "You okay?" I hear from beside me and look over at Chelsea.
"Not really," I say honestly as she pushes me over with her hip to wash her hands. We’ve been at my grandmother's house ever since we walked away from the fire. "How are you doing?" I ask, and she looks down at her hands.
"I thought cooking and baking would make me feel better." She turns the water off and grabs a dish cloth to dry her hands. She looks out the same window I was just looking out. "It’s not."
"Has anyone texted you?" I ask, and she grabs the phone from her pocket as she checks it. "No, nothing." I look around the kitchen at my grandmother, who hasn’t stopped cooking since this happened even though my mother and aunt have been trying to force her to sit down.
I look
back outside. "I need some air," I say, and she takes a step to follow me. "Go sit down. You haven’t eaten anything today.”
She glares at me. "I can sit outside," she says, and I’m about to argue with her when my grandmother calls her over.
I take the opportunity while she’s busy to slip outside. The sun is slowly setting, and the smell of fire is still in the air. I sit down on the top step and look up at the gray sky. My eyes fixate on the smoke, and I don’t hear the footsteps until someone sits beside me.
"Hey, sweetheart." I look over to see my grandfather put his arms around my shoulders and pull me to him, kissing my temple. He lets out a big deep breath. "What are you doing outside?"
"Is the fire under control?" I ask. His whole face looks tired and his eyes worried.
"Last I heard," he says. "Just about."
I put my head on his shoulder just like I used to do when I was a little girl. Heck, I still do it. "Don’t worry, Grandpa. We’ll build it back even better."
He chuckles a little. "Oh, if I know my kids, it’ll be brand new in a week with all these new gadgets."
It’s my turn to laugh. My grandparents have lived on this farm their whole life and my great-grandparents before them. Then my uncle Casey came in and brought in technology. Let’s just say my grandfather is not too pleased with it. "I set off the sprinklers last time I opened his iPad."
"I’ll teach you, Grandpa." I kiss his cheek. "Let me go and get you something to eat."
I start to get up, and he gets up with me. "If I don’t tell your grandmother I’m here, I’ll never hear the end of it."
We walk into the house together, and my grandmother comes over and gives him a hug. He doesn’t stay to eat. Instead, he grabs some food to take to the men.
I kiss everyone goodbye at midnight and make my way home. I don’t bother catching a ride. Instead, I walk in the field. The same field I grew up in. I bet if you blindfolded us all, we would still know how to get to our houses.
Southern Secrets Page 2