"I was just surprised to see you here," I answer honestly.
"Yeah, and why is that?" His voice goes low as he steps up even closer to me, and I feel the fridge against my back.
"I don’t know," I answer, frustrated. "You’re fucking everywhere I turn."
"And that bothers you?" His eyes go a deep brown to where they look almost black. "Why?" he whispers. He is so close I can feel his breath on me. His hand comes up as he takes a piece of my hair in his fingers. My whole body is on high alert, and my body braces itself. "Why does me being here bother you, Amelia?" He says my name, and I lick my lips as I feel his head get even close to me. I want to put my hands on his hips. I want to tilt my head back just a touch more and ask him for the kiss I’ve been dying for. "I’ve gotten under your skin," he says, and I want to tell him that he’s wrong. I want to tell him that he hasn’t gotten under anything. "Good," he says, and his head moves in close. "Because you’ve gotten under mine," he says, and I feel like I’m in a trance. The whole world could be crumbling around me, and I wouldn’t think twice. I also wouldn’t care. The only thing that I want is for him to kiss me.
"Asher," I say his name in a whisper, or a plea, even I don’t know anymore.
"What, baby?" he says, and my heart surges to my throat, and my hands are finally moving to his chest. His heart beats under my hand as much as mine is beating. I tilt my head to the side, and I can taste his lips on mine.
"Auntie Amelia!" Gabriel yells, and we both jump apart, the both of us panting. "Grandma wants you."
I look at Asher, who stands there, his eyes never leaving me. "Coming," I say, turning and walking away from him.
Chapter 17
Asher
I stare into the eyes of the woman who has haunted my dreams and thoughts for the last I don’t even know. But nothing can compare to looking into the real thing. Her eyes are a soft blue, a crystal blue that you can see right through her.
I can feel her heart beating just as fast as mine, as her chest rises and falls. The heat of her hands that were on my chest, like she branded me with her touch. "Coming," Amelia says and slips out from in front of me. She walks back up the stairs without a second glance back at me and goes into the house. The door slams shut, making me aware that what just happened now was a mistake. The guilt settles in my stomach as I think about how much over the line I just crossed.
I hang my head as my chest rises up and down as if I just chased off a wild pack of wolves. I can’t move from my spot, the smell of lavender still all around me. My body knows she was right here and refuses to move.
"What the fuck was I thinking?" I ask myself as I put my head back and look at the ceiling of the garage. "What the hell was I doing?" I shake my head. "In her parents’ house. With her brother and her father mere steps away from us." I wasn’t; that was the point of it. When I walked into the house and saw her laughing and smiling, it just … The answer was so blatant and so easy. Bottom line, I couldn’t fucking help myself.
Following Jacob into his house, the last thing I was surprised to see was her in the kitchen laughing. I had to get away from her as fast as I could, so I ducked out and came out to the garage. Trying to convince myself that whatever I was thinking about and whatever I was feeling was the worst idea I’ve ever had in my whole life. And I’ve had some stupid ideas that got me into hot water more than once, but this, with her, I’d be cut off at the knees.
I just couldn’t control myself with her standing there in front of me. Her eyes were changing right before my eyes. Pissed because I was everywhere she turned. Happy knowing that I got under her skin just as much. The information broke the little strength I had left in me. My head was yelling at me that it was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life, yet my heart, my heart was telling me that this moment is what I’ve been waiting for my whole life.
The past three days have been like a game of cat and mouse. Working all day long, pushing all the frustration all out of me. Getting home and seeing her there looking like she was going out of her mind, yet looking more beautiful than she did that morning. I avoided her as much as I could, staying in my room for fear I’d throw her down and kiss the ever-loving shit out of her. I’d wait for her to go to bed before going back on the couch and sleeping. My alarm would ring every two hours. I’d stand there beside her bed sometimes right before I wake her and wonder what it would feel like to lie with her in my arms.
The door opens again, and I look over, hoping it’s Amelia. Hoping she came back to finish what we started, but nothing I’ve ever wanted in my life I actually got. "Dinner is ready." Ethan sticks his head into the garage. I nod at him as he turns around.
You saw what you had to see. Get the fuck out of here. My head yells at me, but my feet, my feet start moving toward the house
When I walk into the kitchen, Kallie is walking out toward the dining room. Following her, I see that everyone is in the dining room sitting down. Jacob sits at the head of the table with Kallie making her way toward the chair on his right. I spot the empty chair right beside Jacob and Ethan. I look toward the other end of the table where Amelia sits between Gabriel and Aubrey. She bends her head to rub noses with Aubrey before turning to Gabriel and picking up his plate. He points at all the food he wants. She places his plate in front of him. "Wait until we say grace." He nods at her. "Give me sugar." She points at her cheek, and he huffs out, leaning over to kiss her cheek.
"Help yourself," Jacob says from beside me. My eyes move from Amelia to the feast in front of me.
Kallie comes back into the room, and the smile on her face is huge. "All that is missing is Graham." She takes a breath. "And the family would be complete.”
"That’s what you get when you enlist," Ethan says. "He’s keeping us safe." Kallie nods at him, and I see that Jacob has put his hand on hers.
"Let’s say grace," Jacob says, and I reach out my hands, putting one hand in Ethan’s and another in Jacob’s. I close my eyes, but I don’t listen to the words that are said. Instead, I wonder how different my life would have been had I had this. I stop my head from playing the what-if game as we all say, "Amen."
"Nothing like Mom’s cooking," Ethan says, and all eyes go to Emily, who just side-eyes him.
"What? I like your cooking, too."
"Nice save there, McIntyre," Amelia says, pointing her fork at him.
I only talk when someone asks me something. My head is going around and around in circles, and I know I have to get out of here.
"Thank you for dinner," I say to Kallie. "It was delicious as always." I get up, grabbing my empty plate and moving toward the kitchen.
"You don’t have to do that, Asher," Kallie says.
Ignoring her, I walk to the kitchen and rinse off my plate. I open the dishwasher, placing it on the rack, when I suddenly feel eyes on me.
Amelia stands there, wringing her hands in front of her. "Are you headed home?"
"I am," I say, closing the dishwasher and wiping off my hands.
"Can I catch a ride with you?" she asks me softly. "I don’t want anyone to go out of their way to bring me home, and I’m a little tired."
"Of course," I say to her, and she turns, walking back to the dining room.
"I’m going to catch a ride with Asher," Amelia says, walking over to Jacob, who pushes back from the table and gets up to hug her. She looks up at him with a smile on her face. "Love you, Dad."
"Love you more, baby girl." He pushes her hair back and kisses her forehead.
"Call me tomorrow," Kallie says to her when she goes to her mother for a hug.
"I’ll see you tomorrow," Jacob says to me, his voice loud, making Amelia just look over at me. She moves her eyes from me to her father and then to Ethan.
"Wouldn’t miss it," I say to him and turn to walk out of the room when Amelia's voice stops me from moving.
"What am I missing?" she asks, looking all around the room.
I want to tell her nothing, but Jacob is fast to tell her. "I�
�m trying to convince Asher here to give the police department a chance." He smiles at me.
"Really?" Amelia says, a little shocked.
"It’s something I’m thinking about," I finally say.
"First, he has to decide if he wants to stay." Ethan cuts in and slaps my shoulder. "Then we can work on the second part."
"Decides to stay?" Amelia asks me, confusion in her voice, and I don’t make eye contact with her.
"I’ll see you tomorrow." I ignore her question, nodding as I wait for Amelia to walk out of the house. I hear her footsteps behind me, and I walk over to the truck, opening the door for her. She ignores me, reaching out her hand and pulling the door closed.
I look back at the house, seeing that Jacob and Kallie are standing on the porch watching us. I raise my hand to wave to them and walk around the truck, getting inside.
"You okay?" I ask, and she ignores me, looking out the window and waves to her parents as her face fills with a fake smile. I know it’s a fake smile because her eyes don’t crinkle at the sides, and her face doesn’t light up.
The drive back to her house is brutal, and I look over at her way too many times. Each time, she has her head turned to the side, fixated on looking out the window. She doesn’t even wait for me to put the truck in park before she is out.
Putting the truck in park, I get out and look up at the setting sun. I look at the house and then back at the truck. Get in the truck and leave, I tell myself. For you and for her.
My feet move toward the house. "I’ll just get my bags and leave," I tell myself. Opening the door, I walk into the cold house. My eyes look at the couch and find it empty. I walk to the kitchen and open the fridge, grabbing a water bottle. "You’re leaving?" I hear her voice and softly close the fridge door.
I look over as she stands there with her arms crossed over her chest. All the words that I have to say are stuck in my throat. "I haven’t decided yet" are the only words that come out as I watch her. My feet are glued to the floor instead of going over to her.
"You haven’t decided yet." Her voice goes louder. "You haven’t decided yet?" she repeats the words like she didn’t hear them.
"There are lots of things to process." My eyes never leave hers as she glares at me.
"A lot of things to process," she says. "Really?" Her sarcasm comes out, and I want to laugh at her. I also want to kiss the ever-loving shit out of her. Bury my hands into her hair and claim her mouth with mine. Take the kiss that has been haunting me since I stepped foot into this town.
"I’ve never stayed in one place longer than four months," I say.
"You’ve been here longer than that," she says, and I nod silently. "Why would you leave?"
"Why would I stay?" I ask, and she just looks at me, not saying a word. "Exactly." I push off the counter, walking over to my side of the house. "Anyway, it’s better to leave before we go past the point of no return."
Chapter 18
Amelia
"Why would I stay?" he asks, and all I can do is stare at him. That almost kiss in the garage made my stomach burn. I didn’t think I would be able to walk up the stairs because my whole body was shaking. I sat eating food at the table, the whole time trying not to look over at him. The whole time, I wanted to run outside and scream at the top of my lungs. "Anyway, it’s better to leave before we go past the point of no return."
"When are you going to make this decision?" I ask, the lump in my throat getting bigger and bigger.
"As soon as I do, you’ll be the first to know," he says, and I know that if I don’t walk out right now, he’ll see that him leaving will bother me.
Walking to my room, I close the door behind me. I put my back against it and slowly slip to the floor. Him leaving would be good, my head screams. You have one goal and one goal only. To be successful and not count on anyone but yourself. To do it on your own so no one can ever say they gave you anything. Everyone will know I busted my ass to get where I was, and I didn’t get there because my family gave it to me.
I ignore him for the next four days, each day waiting for the other shoe to drop.
* * *
I slam the door shut and walk over to my grandfather, who stands there with his hands on his hips. "Here she is," he says, looking at me as I make my way over to him. He takes me in his arms and kisses my head. "How are you feeling?"
"All better," I say. "I can go to work tomorrow." Looking to see Christopher and Reed coming out of the barn.
"Hey, you two," I say, walking over to them. "How was last night?"
"Jam-packed," Reed says. "Asher broke up two fights."
I look at him. "Asher?" I question him. "He was there?”
"He’s been there the whole time," Reed says. "I like him better than you."
"Screw you." I push his shoulder.
"Did you guys ride?" I ask, and he nods his head.
"We got here early today because Mr. Billy asked us to come and help Asher move some things around the barn."
My head moves to the barn doors as I see the man in question come out of the barn doors. He uses his hand to wipe his forehead. He got home past four o’clock last night and then was out the door before seven this morning. His blue jeans are dirty as fuck, his white T-shirt also dirty but molded to him. He looks up as he walks over and sees me. "Hey." He motions with his head as he walks right past me, going straight to my grandfather. My grandfather smiles at him, and I want to yell out.
Why the fuck are you everywhere I turn?
"Are we going to race?" Christopher asks me, and I turn back to him and nod my head. "Asher saddled your horse before you got here."
"Motherfucker," I mumble under my breath as I walk into the barn and see that my girl is ready to be ridden. My horse looks at me, and I walk over to her. "Why did you allow a stranger to put your saddle on?" I ask her. "Traitor." Grabbing her reins, I walk out of the barn with her to the enclosed fence.
Getting up on her, I look over and see my grandfather standing with my grandmother. His arm is around her as they talk to Asher, who stands there with his legs apart and his arms over his chest. Looking all hot and shit. "What were the fights about last night?" I ask Reed as he joins me.
"One of them thought Asher was trying to get with his girlfriend," Reed says, and my head turns to him.
"Was he?" I ask.
"Not a chance in hell," Christopher says, coming next to us. "He was the one stepping away from her." He shakes his head. "Then there were two blondes who fought over him." He laughs. "I haven’t heard squealing like that since two cats got caught in a tree."
I look over at him as he laughs at his own joke. Reed throws his head back and laughs. "Okay, what are we doing?" I ask them.
"Around one time," Reed says. "Best of three."
"You got it," I say, kicking my horse and trotting over to the line.
I get into place, and I look over to see that my grandfather and Asher are watching. I Ignore it all as I wait for someone to say go. I push my horse and win; it comes down to the third round. Reed and I are head to head, but my horse loves to win, and I take him with a second. I raise my hands over my head.
"Winner winner chicken dinner." I clap my hands as I get off my horse and walk her back into the barn.
"You got lucky," Reed says, getting off his horse and walking beside me. We put the horses back into the stalls, and I walk over to grab her some water.
"There you are," Chelsea says, coming into the barn. "I’ve been looking for you."
"There are literally two places I can be." I laugh and walk back to the stall with the bowl of water. "Here or the kitchen."
"Since when do you ever go in the kitchen?" She folds her arms over her chest. Growing up, she would be in the kitchen with Grandma while I would be dressed just like my grandfather following him around.
"I sometimes go in there," I say, turning to her.
"Name one time?" she asks, and I smile at her.
"When I need to get food." I laugh at my own joke
. "Speaking of food," I say, walking out of the stall and locking the door behind me. "Is it ready?"
"Just about," she says as we walk back out of the barn toward the barbecue. "Asher is helping Grandpa with the grill." I groan, and Chelsea laughs and looks over at me. "What is with you?"
"Nothing is up with me," I say, looking around at all the people who are there. All my family is scattered around. My mom is with my aunt Savannah and aunt Olivia as they sit around laughing at something one of them said. My eyes find Asher as he stands by the grill with my grandfather and my brother. "Why is he fucking everywhere I turn?"
"Who is?" she asks me and then follows my eyesight. "Oh, Asher. I thought you liked him."
"Why would you say that?" I ask, shocked. "I will admit that I found him hot when he got here." My mouth never stops. "In a mysterious, who is this new guy kind of way." I pause, and she just looks at me. "But …" I point at him. "Now he’s integrated himself into the family, and he is fucking everywhere." I look at her. "Say something!” I shriek out.
"I was waiting for you to finish ranting before I said something." She looks at me. "If you don’t like him like that, why did you even invite him to live with you?”
"He isn’t living with me.” I gasp out, throwing up my hands. "He had no place to go. What was I supposed to do?"
"Umm, literally anything but that." She laughs, and I glare.
"I hate you," I say, turning and storming off away from her.
"Come back here," she says, jogging to catch up with me. "I’ve never seen you like that." I stop and turn to look at her. "You have never been hung up on any man before."
"What in all of this makes you think I’m hung up on him?” I ask, confused.
"One, you are all jumpy when he is around.” She holds up her finger. "Two, you can’t stop looking at him when you think no one is looking at you." I scoff out and roll my eyes.
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