The things that he’d started to try with his ex, the things that he wanted to do now… they felt private. Scary and exhilarating and not quite something that he could share with a stranger.
How about you? Ash continued. Are you a sub?
No… He hesitated because he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to claim the title. I’m a Dom, I guess.
Ash's eyes widened. Hallelujah! A Deaf Dom! Tell me you’re single...
Dustin leaned back. Had that really just happened? Not one, but two people hitting on him on the same day? Although Ash had been much more direct.
He wasn’t quite sure what to say. Ash seemed nice. They were cute and fun, definitely someone he’d like to get to know better, even if it didn’t go anywhere.
He couldn’t quite believe that this was what munches were usually like, or that he’d suddenly become so popular. He hesitated to respond, not quite sure what to do. He was used to being the outsider, the observer. When he could even be bothered to leave the house. And while he’d been feeling more comfortable than he expected, he didn’t know how to handle Ash trying to pick him up.
Wasn’t that the Dom’s job, anyway? He’d thought that the Dom was supposed to control things like that, but apparently, he didn’t know what he was talking about.
Now that the possibility was on the table with Ash, though, he kind of wanted… well, he wasn’t sure what. He just hadn’t expected to be hit on this quickly, even if it was happening in a playful way. In his whole life, he’d only slept with three people, two of them after being friends first and one after several dates. Maybe he ought to explain that, first.
So, Ash leaned forward eagerly, undeterred by his lack of response. Do you think you’re a Daddy?
Dustin assumed, from context, that they meant “Daddy” in a kinky sense rather than, say, being the father of actual children, since the sign was the same. He wasn’t quite sure what all that entailed. In porn, it seemed to be older men with younger guys, and he wasn’t that old. I don’t think so.
Ash made a huff of exaggerated disappointment but didn’t actually seem that upset. So Ash wanted… a Daddy? Huh.
Just then, Landon returned, plopping back down into his chair, his sneaker casually pressing against Dustin’s. Why did he find that little bit of pressure, through several layers of rubber and fabric, so exciting?
Dustin’s a Dom, Ash reported to Landon.
Sexy! Landon signed with gusto. I saw him first.
Wait. Seriously? Was Landon fighting over him? That just couldn’t be possible. Ash and Landon were clearly joking around a bit, but from their body language, he didn’t think that it was at his expense.
Mind blowing.
They must have some really over-inflated ideas about what he was capable of. I, um, I don’t really know what I’m doing, he finally offered.
Landon threw an arm around his shoulder, drawing him in against his shoulder and making his heart race again. Dustin knew that his muscles were all tight. That he wasn’t leaning into the half-hug the way that he should to show his interest. But it still felt so good with Landon’s forehead pressed against his.
I’d be happy to teach you.
Like… demonstrate? Honestly, Landon seemed so confident and strong, even with his slender frame, that Dustin couldn’t really imagine him submitting to anyone. Which was too bad because his attraction to him was off the charts, and he was sure, well at least pretty sure, that he wanted to be with someone more submissive.
Landon dropped his arm, and then, with some magic of body language, was looking up at Dustin from under lidded, pleading eyes. Yes… and there are some things that you could practice with me. It was a playful submission, but it was submission nonetheless. Damn.
Dustin’s mind immediately filled with dirty images of Landon, populated from his limited knowledge via porn. Landon bound and naked on a bed. Landon bent over his lap. Landon kneeling and looking up at him with those naughty, thirsty eyes. Landon as the sub in that video.
It was hot, but it was overwhelming, too. I… I don’t think I’m ready for anything like that yet.
God, he hated to say that. But it was true. He was feeling way out of his depth.
Landon sat up, back to his old, relaxed posture. I’m sorry if I’m pushing too hard. I’ll stop.
Me, too, Ash added.
Dustin took a calming breath. No, it’s alright. I’m just very new to this.
Landon gave him a skeptical look. Everyone was new at some point. That’s why we have these gatherings. And I enjoyed talking with you this morning.
Dustin sighed. He was probably missing out on what could have been the sexiest experience of his life. But he knew himself, and he knew he would feel even worse if he tried to start something and then couldn’t do it correctly. He would freeze up, and that would be mortifying. He’d had too many years of being ridiculed for his inability to make sense of spoken language to have much tolerance for feeling foolish now.
Fortunately, Ash and Landon let it go. Dustin saw Ash give him a few speculative looks, and Landon continued to flirt with him just like he did with the rest of the table.
It was a relief. But also disappointing. He wasn’t quite sure how to feel.
People were starting to say their goodbyes and head for the door. Dustin wasn’t even sure what to think of the whole morning. He’d met some people who were apparently kinky, but they’d barely talked about it at all. He’d been hit on by two people, one who was pretty cute and one who was blindingly hot, and who both signed. He’d also turned them both down, though neither seemed to mind.
And now, it was over.
He felt a little unsettled. After everything he’d imagined when he planned for the munch, it was pretty much a bunch of people hanging out at a restaurant. Dustin stood when Ash did and let himself get swept along with the group.
Outside, Landon was chatting with a few people, his voice a blur in Dustin’s mind. He stood around awkwardly for a minute, not really sure what he was going to say, but not quite ready to leave yet either.
Ash told him goodbye with a wink and Dustin gave them a small smile in return. He still felt a little awkward.
Landon was still engaged in that conversation. Dustin should leave.
He was already in the parking lot behind the restaurant when he felt a touch on his arm. He jumped, not having heard anything since he was still wearing the ear plugs.
He turned around to find Landon, his breath just a tad fast from running and his cheeks red. Gorgeous.
Wait! Landon signed.
That wasn’t a problem. Dustin didn’t mind waiting to be the center of that glowing attention. Did it mean anything that Landon had run out after him?
Landon held out his phone. Will you give me your number? he asked flirtatiously. I can send you some resources. He winked.
Oh. Dustin tried not to let his disappointment show. Of course. Landon was one of the moderators. And sending resources to the newbie was soooo sexy.
He did want the resources, though. The internet was so big that he didn’t trust anything he read to be accurate, and he’d been hiding a little bit from actually reading anything so far.
Brain still in a muddle, he typed in his contact information. A moment later, he felt a vibration in his pocket.
Time for the obligatory goodbyes. Thank you for hosting this. It was nice to meet you. That was only slightly awkward, right?
Landon leaned in closer, eyes gleaming. It was very nice to meet you, too.
So flirty. So completely out of his league.
Dustin watched as Landon turned and walked across the parking lot, clearly knowing that he was being observed and liking it. He even turned once to make sure he had Dustin’s attention.
Then, he swung into a small, blue car and drove away.
Wow. Dustin was going to have so much to tell Zhong.
Chapter 3
Landon
Landon slammed his car door and ran into his house. He’d tried to do too mu
ch, between finding a birthday gift for one of the littles who’d be at the munch this morning and then going for a longer run at his favorite park. He usually took a path around his neighborhood, but he loved the scenery and gentle slopes of the park when he was out in that direction anyway.
Unfortunately, now he was late.
He slipped into the shower, trying not to think about the intense Dom who he’d met last month. Dustin had been adorably earnest and completely honest about being new to things. And also hot. And Deaf.
He’d texted a couple times in the past month. Just to say thank you for organizing the munch, and twice more when he’d started reading the links Landon sent. It wasn’t a lot, but Landon liked feeling appreciated and recognized by someone who’d caught his eye.
It wasn’t like Landon lacked for play partners. There seemed to be an endless supply, and he was happy to try just about anything.
But there was something about Dustin’s coiled intensity. His sharp gaze, the tightness of his posture as he leaned forward, as if perpetually ready to attack. He’d followed Landon with his gaze all day, staring longer than most men would.
Landon slipped a soapy hand between his legs, letting his imagination run free.
From the first moment in the doorway, Dustin had devoured Landon with his eyes. When he’d traced down Landon’s collar bone with his gaze, he’d almost felt it as a physical touch.
It was only later, when they entered the restaurant, that he seemed to reel himself in and act civilized.
Landon didn’t want civilized.
He moved his hand faster.
When they were talking, later, Landon had enjoyed brushing up against him and watching his muscles clench and his breath draw in in response. He’d even flirted a little harder with some of his other friends just to see Dustin’s eyes flare.
Landon loved playing cat and mouse, and he was hoping the cat would catch him soon. Maybe today at the munch.
Which, he realized abruptly, he was now going to be truly late for. He quickly washed his hair and then added conditioner. It needed to sink in for a few minutes, so maybe he could just…
He brought his slippery hand back down to his cock, imagining Dustin standing over him, an expertly wielded flogger in his hand. Not that Dustin was ready for that now, and might never be, but it was Landon’s fantasy and he could imagine whatever he wanted.
He jerked himself, feeling the flash of deep, press of the flogger as it bit into his shoulders. He cried out, breath heavy.
Dustin’s face floated into his vision, stern and commanding. Come, he signed.
Landon let himself float away.
Getting ready for the munch after that wasn’t nearly as much fun. Landon looked longingly at the new dress he’d been planning to wear. It was red and exposed most of his shoulders, clingy at the top and then flaring out in a sensual flow at his hips. He loved how it felt swirling around his thighs.
He needed a Lena day. He’d been planning a Lena day, since he hadn’t had one for a while. Lena was just as much a part of him as Landon, and he hated that he had to schedule his gender presentation instead of just going with the flow.
Munches were one of the few places where he could fully be himself, showing up with whatever gender he felt like that morning and expecting people to make the switch with him. If someone new had issues with it, he could count on other group members to fill them in, so he didn’t have to deal with the exhaustion of explaining it. The munch had more straight people than queer, but there were enough queer, trans, and genderqueer folks that he felt at home.
He dreamed of coming out at work, but honestly… twelve-year-olds? They could barely handle their own bodies and identities, let alone his. His principal, for all that she still hadn’t gotten back to him about progress on keeping the ASL program, would probably be more or less fine with it.
There were definitely a few gay and lesbian teachers at his school who were out, and he admired them for being role models to the kids. It was more that explaining himself all the time was annoying, and he’d really rather be talking about photosynthesis or the Pythagorean theorem. Or even talking with his students about their own lives and choices, which was a lot more important to him than his own identity.
And, to be honest, it was always a little bit scary being overtly feminine with a male-shaped body. People who were read as female could wear suits and ties and look like business professionals. When people who were read as male wore dresses, they were still mistreated too often for him to feel completely safe. So, he didn’t venture out as Lena unless he already knew the people and spaces that he’d be in.
Between Escape, his queer teacher’s group, hanging out with his sister, and the munch, though, he felt like he had a lot of freedom on the evenings and weekends.
He didn’t necessarily have a lot of time, though, and Lena’s clothing took time.
A little part of him also worried that Dustin wouldn’t be interested in him when he presented as a woman. He wasn’t looking for any sort of relationship with Dustin, but he’d hate to lose the opportunity before he even got a taste. So maybe going as Landon was better anyway.
He pulled a navy blue Henley out of his drawer and dragged it over his head.
Then he started berating himself. He’d sworn, after high school, that he wasn’t going to let anyone dictate his gender presentation. He’d made peace with being Landon at work. But no one else, not his parents, not his siblings, not his friends, and especially not a hook-up would ever force him into being someone who he didn’t want to be.
He had worked too hard to be who he was. He’d survived years of bullying as a child, as the weird, Deaf, sissy boy. Later, when he’d figured out more about who he was, he’d lost friends when he refused to “make up his mind” and “only do that where no one can see you.” And he’d still spent years fighting his own inner demons, which were sometimes worse than the ones outside.
He was thriving now. He loved his community, and he loved who he was. He was confident, courageous, and comfortable in his own body.
He stroked the dress again, letting the soft material ripple over his hand. Maybe he should wear it anyway.
He glanced at the clock. Dammit. Hair and makeup took a lot more time. Plus, he’d totally skipped shaving his legs because he’d been too distracted in the shower.
OK, boring and masculine it was. Not that he minded masculine. He kind of liked it now that he had a choice. It could be fun to bro it up sometimes. It just wasn’t what he’d wanted for today.
He tugged on boxers and jeans, grabbed the shirt on the top of the stack, and pulled a knit cap over his hair so he wouldn’t have to worry about it. Whatever.
When he got to the munch, he noticed Dustin’s coiled posture and strong shoulders before Dustin could see him. He wanted to go over to him, but that was ridiculous. He wanted to play together a few times, not get his approval.
Landon made sure to find the birthday boy before saying hello to anyone else. But he could feel Dustin’s eyes burning into him a moment later.
He offered up the sea-themed gift bag to Tim, who jumped up to collect it. He seemed to be mostly adult today, wearing typical adult clothes which meant he was Tim instead of Timmy, but Landon figured that a stuffy was still an appropriate gift.
Tim drew out the stuffed penguin, which Landon hoped was enough of an ocean creature to interest him. He’d gone to two stores this morning since none of them had any sharks or octopi or anything like that. The penguin was as close as he could get.
Timmy’s eyes lit up, his lips shaping a word that was clearly “Daddy!” He snuggled the penguin against his face.
He turned to his Daddy, David, to show off the toy. Landon didn’t even try to follow their conversation. When Timmy got excited, he forgot that Landon needed to see his mouth to speech read, and David wasn’t really talking to him anyway.
Their body language said it was a good gift, and that was all that mattered.
As Landon turn
ed, Carol offered a hug and then started asking him about an event that they were co-organizing at the club next month. She was a slow talker, so he could speech read about ninety percent of what she was saying. It was usually enough to answer her questions.
He’d long ago stopped trying to figure out every single word when people talked. It was much easier to pretend to understand and nod when appropriate. This conversation was a bit easier because he already had a good sense of what she wanted to talk about from their emails.
Once he got a few questions about the food settled, he drifted further down the table. Dustin was still watching him. He felt a shiver down his spine but didn’t let himself move any faster.
He loved being watched that way. It made him feel important. Desired. Sometimes it was almost a let-down when he finally played with someone, because after a few scenes the heated looks always vanished.
He fell into the next tangle of people who were talking about floggers. There were too many people talking about too many things at once for him to follow it. Instead, he launched into his own story about a flogger he’d seen on the internet with glitter all over it. He couldn’t even imagine having to clean that up. What a disaster. And the skin irritation afterward…
Everyone laughed along with him, and he basked in the attention for a moment. Taking over the conversation so that he didn’t have to speech read was another one of his tricks, and he always kept a few stories ready for situations like this. It gave him a way to feel included without all of the stress of speech reading.
Next, Ash waved him over and he was more than ready to sign. Of course, that meant pulling up a chair to the already full table. Could he help it if that meant sitting next to Dustin?
Dustin’s eyes gleamed and his lips turned up when he said hello. It looked like he appreciated Landon’s proximity.
Ash was telling a story about one of their patients that Landon was pretty sure he’d heard before. Which was good, because he really wanted a moment to look at Dustin. His face, on its own, was unremarkable. He had brown hair, brown eyes, and a slightly pointed nose. His age could be anywhere from late twenties to mid-forties, though Landon guessed it was close to his own mid-thirties.
Love Lessons (Love Language Book 2) Page 5