Three
Ben glanced around the familiar surroundings of the Crossed Garter from his seat at the bar, smiling slightly.
It was weird. He hadn’t been looking forward to coming home again – back to boring old Messington, the sort of dull Yorkshire seaside town where nothing much had happened since the invasion of the Spanish Armada, filled with the same old faces he’d been seeing since the day he was born. When Ben had pictured the muddy ocean and colourless beach of his hometown while he’d been away, the contrast with the lush mountainous beauty of Peru couldn’t have been stronger. God, the freezing drizzle that had met him when he’d stepped off the plane last week had almost sent him scurrying to book an immediate return flight.
But now he was here, back in the same pub he’d been drinking at since he was… well, eighteen if you believed that fake ID he’d bought online, or sixteen if you didn’t. Anyway, he was forced to confess it did feel sort of good to be home. Back with his friends; his family. His memories.
‘Bloody hell, I don’t believe it! So young Ben Kemp’s back in town, is he?’
Ben spun his stool to face the bar, where the landlord was beaming broadly at him from behind a row of beer pumps.
‘Hiya, Pete,’ he said, holding out a hand to him. ‘You miss me?’
‘What, my best customer? I nearly went bust when you sodded off.’ Pete pumped his hand enthusiastically. ‘Good to have you home again, lad. It wasn’t the same without you. How long have you been back?’
‘A week. Hey, was it always this cold around here?’
Pete laughed. ‘You’ll soon readjust. So is it the usual then?’
Ben smiled to himself. It was nice to be back among people who knew what your usual drink order was without needing to be told.
‘Yeah, cheers,’ he said. ‘Pour one for our Cal as well, will you? He’s meeting me here in a bit.’
‘Tell you what, you can have these two on the house. Homecoming present.’
Ben clapped him on the shoulder. ‘Ta, mate.’
Pete started pulling his pint as Ben scanned the pub for familiar faces.
There were a few people he recognised, a handful he didn’t – tourists, probably. You always got some in a seaside town, although the Garter was really more of a locals’ pub.
A pretty girl he didn’t know, one of a pair sharing a bottle of wine at a nearby table, smiled as his gaze fell on her. Ben smiled back, and she blushed slightly at the attention. He let his gaze linger for a moment, holding eye contact, before drawing it away. That could definitely be worth further investigation later on.
And… oho! Who was this he spied tucked into a corner, looking bored as hell while she shared a basket of chips with some lad? Bridie Morgan, no less! Surely she hadn’t actually settled down while he’d been gone? Cal hadn’t mentioned anything. Anyway, if Bridie was in a relationship now then she looked bloody miserable about it. She had her chin propped on one fist as she nibbled with little enthusiasm on a chip, literally seconds away from dozing off by the look of her.
Bridie looked a bit different than she had when he went away. She’d filled out a little in the curves, and changed her hair to a shorter style. It was bobbed now, with added caramel highlights blending with her natural copper tones. They suited her: both the hair and the curves.
She was a lovely-looking girl, there was no denying that. Not that the lad she was with seemed to have noticed as he chattered on, oblivious to the fact his date clearly wasn’t interested. Ben noticed though, seeing her with fresh eyes after his year away, and his wasn’t the only male gaze drifting appreciatively in her direction either. If she didn’t have such a sharp gob on her – and such stupidly high standards – she could easily take her pick of the lads round here. As it was, Bridie was like a hedgehog: cute, but far too prickly to get cuddly with.
She did look good tonight. Ben might tell her so later – tongue in cheek, naturally. It was always fun seeing her go that lovely shade of mauve when he teased her, and hearing her comebacks. She never held back from giving as good as she got, and she never backed down. Ben hadn’t realised just how much he’d missed sparring with Bridie while he’d been away.
Not wanting his old schoolfriend-slash-nemesis to catch sight of him yet, he took his and Cal’s drinks to a table out of sight of Bridie and her boyfriend. He’d just swallowed his first sip of beer when his brother arrived.
‘All right, tiny?’ Ben stood up to give Cal a hug, towering over him at six foot two to his brother’s six foot one and a half. ‘Got you a pint of that Blonde you like. I’m hoping your drink order hasn’t changed while I’ve been gone.’
‘Cheers, big brother.’ Cal sat down and drew his beer to him.
‘Now this I missed – us two setting the world to rights over a pint,’ Ben said. ‘Come on then, fill me in on everything that’s happened round here while I’ve been away.’
‘You first. How was the job interview?’
‘Really good. They offered it to me on the spot actually. Senior Instructor Kemp, if you don’t mind.’
Cal blinked. ‘Seriously? That’s brilliant, Ben. Did you like the look of the company then?’
‘Yeah, Grand Adventures has got a great reputation in the outdoors industry. I know you and Mum thought the Peru trip was a mad idea, but the manager there was dead impressed. He said trekking Machu Picchu was just the sort of experience they were looking for. I told you a year’s travel could be a good career move for me.’ Ben took a sip of beer. ‘There’s only so far you can wow prospective employers with the Three Peaks Challenge, right?’
‘I’m glad to hear you’ll soon be rejoining the ranks of the employed.’ Cal leaned over the table to slap his brother’s arm. ‘Well done, mate.’
‘Cheers.’ Ben lowered his voice. ‘Guess who’s here.’
‘Who?’
‘Bridie Morgan. In the far corner, eating chips with this hipster lad. She’s never managed to coax some poor bastard into a relationship while I’ve been gone, has she?’
Cal smiled. ‘Not quite. She’s on a date. She goes on a lot of them these days.’
‘What, Bridie?’ Ben said, quirking an eyebrow. ‘Last time I saw her, that knobhead Chris had just ended it with her and she was declaring she was renouncing men for life.’
‘She’s doing some sort of last-ditch experiment to see if any of us might be salvageable: twenty dates in twenty days. Yesterday’s went so well, she flashed her thonged-up bum cheeks at me in excitement.’
‘Miss Sensible Knickers wears thongs now?’ Ben shook his head. ‘Things really have changed around here. What did she flash you for?’
‘It was an accident. I caught her trying to do the tiptoe of shame back into the house without Hattie seeing. Still, if I wasn’t spoken for I might have to admit it wasn’t a bad view.’ Cal looked up from his pint. ‘But I forgot. I’m talking to a man who’s seen it for himself, aren’t I?’
‘Well, I’m not sure I ever saw it in the naked light of day. It was all under-the-duvet stuff when we were that age.’
‘Why did you two break up?’ Cal asked. ‘All I remember is you asking her to the sixth-form leavers’ ball and then suddenly deciding you weren’t going to go.’
Ben tapped the side of his nose. ‘A gentleman never tells, young Calvin.’
‘Right. And what about you?’
He picked up a beer mat and chucked it at his brother. ‘Look, we didn’t break up, OK? We didn’t break up because we were never going out.’
‘Yeah? I might’ve been a year below you guys, but I was old enough to know what those noises coming from your room were whenever she came round to ours.’
Ben shrugged. ‘That was only a casual thing. A bit of friendly fumbling, the way kids do. We were never officially boyfriend and girlfriend.’
‘Then why did you ask her to the ball?’
‘She didn’t have a date and I thought she’d look a bit sad turning up on her own, so like a good mate I asked if she wanted to go wit
h me. Which was pretty noble of me really, given I’d had a few tempting offers in other areas.’
‘Well then, why stand her up? There’s not much noble about that.’
Ben glanced at the table where the attractive woman who’d smiled at him earlier was drinking wine with her equally attractive friend. ‘Hey, fancy chatting up those two in a minute? It’ll be just like old times, the Kemp brothers out on the pull.’
‘Come on, you know I’m with Hattie now. Anyway, don’t change the subject.’
‘I got cold feet, all right?’ Ben said, feeling his cheeks heat. ‘It felt like Bridie was starting to see us as more than just friends with benefits; we were both about to go off to uni in different parts of the country, so I freaked out and hid at home. I’m not proud of it, but I was a kid, wasn’t I? Come on, let’s go talk to the girls. The blonde one keeps looking at me.’
‘How many times, Ben?’ Cal said, looking irritated. ‘I’ve got a girlfriend. Unlike you, that does actually mean something to me.’
Ben shook his head. ‘Harsh. After what Dad did to Mum, you really think that doesn’t mean anything to me?’
‘Everyone knows you don’t do commitment.’
‘Which is exactly why I don’t do infidelity. No girlfriend means no obligations, which means no one gets hurt. And I’m not about to start encouraging you to misbehave either.’
‘I never realised you felt so strongly about it,’ Cal said in a softer voice.
‘Well, now you know,’ Ben said. ‘I wasn’t suggesting you get off with her. I just need a wingman to keep her talking while I try my luck with the friend, that’s all.’
‘No, bruv, I can’t. Innocent or not, I’d have some serious explaining to do if it got back to Hat that I’d been chatting up another woman down the pub.’
‘Ugh. Fine.’ Ben took a gloomy sip of his pint. ‘When did this place get so boring?’
‘It’s not boring. We just grew up, that’s all.’
‘Same difference.’
‘You should give the relationship thing a go yourself,’ Cal said. ‘You might discover you like it.’
Ben scoffed. ‘No chance. When that day comes, just stuff me, mount me and stick a plaque under me saying “RIP Benjamin Kemp: taken from us far too soon”.’
‘Ben, you’re twenty-eight years old. Most of our mates are either married or engaged now, if they aren’t already sprogging out. Don’t you ever think about settling down?’
‘What, so I can get myself a mortgage, a couple of kids who think I’m old and pathetic and a wife who’s long since bored of shagging me, then resign myself to the highlight of my day being cracking one off in the shower every morning before work? Trade the Audi in for some hideous family estate? I might as well just chop my knackers off now and have done with it.’ He patted his brother’s hand. ‘Not that I’m not happy for you, kid. But that stuff’s not for me.’
‘Gee, thanks,’ Cal said drily. ‘You can’t seriously be planning to bounce around women the rest of your life, can you?’
‘Why not? Sounds pretty good to me.’
‘Life with someone you love doesn’t have to be all Volvos and shower wanking, Ben. I know we weren’t set the best example as kids, but I promise you some people have these things called happy, fulfilling marriages. Have you really never met anyone you thought might be worth getting to know a bit better?’
Ben shrugged. ‘Maybe I have, but when I made the effort I discovered they rarely were worth it once you scratched the surface. I certainly can’t imagine falling for any of them. I’m not sure I believe there is such a thing as love, to be honest – I mean, maybe for someone like you, but not for me.’
Cal shook his head. ‘God, you’re a cynical bastard.’
‘I’m a realist. Until I meet a woman who combines sex appeal with wit, humour, intelligence, good conversation and great taste in films – all the qualities I’d want in an ideal mate, in other words – then there’s no chance I’d throw away my precious freedom for anything less.’
‘Well, do what you like. But I’ve found my ideal mate and I’m buggered if I’m letting her get away,’ Cal said. ‘Hattie’s perfect.’
‘Oh Christ.’ Ben groaned deeply. ‘Is this what you’re like now? Do I need to start bringing sick bags with me every time we go out for a drink? You’ll be writing her bloody sonnets next.’
‘Love isn’t a dirty word, Ben.’
‘That very much depends on how and when you say it.’
Cal cast a glance behind him and lowered his voice. ‘Look, there’s something I need to talk to you about. That’s why I asked you out for a drink.’
‘What is it?’
‘It’s about the fancy-dress party tomorrow night. I need you to do me a big favour.’
Ben frowned. ‘OK. What?’
‘At ten o’clock I’m going to bring out the cake I’m making for Hat, all right? And I want you to help me serve it.’
‘Me? Why?’
‘Because there’s going to be something very special in the third slice from the top, going clockwise. I’m going to cut it up and I want you to hand out the pieces. But you have to make completely sure no one gets hold of that piece except Hattie. Understand?’
Ben stared at him. ‘Oh, no. No! Cal, please say you’re not doing this.’
Cal smiled dreamily. ‘I am.’
‘Seriously, bruv, how can you do this to me?’ Ben shook his head despairingly. ‘I thought we were brothers. Mates. The two musketeers. Now you’re abandoning me for some lass?’
‘She’s not just “some lass”. I love her, don’t I?’
‘I can’t believe you’re turning husband on me. What happened to our plan to stay single for life and buy a cabin in the Swiss Alps with a heated pool and an Xbox?’
‘We made that plan when I was seven and still thought girls were icky,’ Cal said. ‘Sorry to have to break it to you, Benjy, but my priorities have shifted a bit since puberty set in.’
‘This is all Bridie’s fault. Introducing you to those schoolmistressy sirens she works with, in their tweed twinsets and pearl-studded G-strings. We never should’ve stayed friends with her.’
Cal smiled. ‘Look, don’t think of it as losing a brother so much as gaining a Hattie.’
‘God, if I’d known I’d have a bloody family wedding to come home to I’d have stayed in Peru,’ Ben said, groaning.
‘You get to be best man though. You’ll enjoy that, right? You can write a speech about what a twat I am.’
‘Hmm. Suppose. Can I organise the stag as well?’
‘Course.’
‘There’s that, I guess.’ Ben managed a smile and clapped his brother on the shoulder. ‘Well, congratulations, little brother. Underneath this cynical exterior I am happy for you, I promise. I mean, I think you’re mad to want to do it, but since you do then all the best to you both. Hattie’s a lovely girl.’
Cal laughed. ‘Cheers, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves, eh? I need her to say yes yet.’
‘You reckon she will?’
‘Let’s say I’m quietly confident.’
‘I suppose I should be grateful it’s her and not Joanna,’ Ben muttered as he finished his pint.
‘Oh, Jo wasn’t nearly as bad as you always make out.’
‘She bloody was, mate.’
‘Well, let’s not fall out over it. She’s gone now.’ Cal drained his remaining beer and stood up. ‘I’ll get us a couple more in.’
Four
As dates went, Bridie had been on worse – but not often. In terms of awfulness, this was definitely a candidate for top three.
She probably should’ve run when she’d noticed Joel’s man bun, but, reminding herself why she was putting herself through this, she’d resolved to stick it out. The highlight of the evening had been right at the start, when they’d arrived at the pub and Joel had offered to buy them a basket of chips to share. From there, it had quickly gone downhill.
‘Of course, people from outside
the fandom just don’t understand how all-consuming it can be,’ he was saying now as she nibbled on a chip. ‘That’s why I was so excited to see from your profile that you were into them too. It’s rare to find someone who really appreciates good music.’
Bridie hadn’t thought much about it when she’d added to her Tinder profile that she liked the Spice Girls. It was actually supposed to be semi-ironic: something a bit retro and cheesy that she hoped might attract someone with a decent sense of humour. But Joel, it seemed, was almost holy in his adoration for Ginger, Baby, Scary, Sporty and Posh. He’d been to every gig he could, both with the actual band and their numerous tribute acts. He also belonged to a ridiculous number of online fan groups, collected obscure memorabilia and had very probably sent Emma Bunton pairs of his underpants through the post.
His entire conversation during their date had revolved around the music of the Spice Girls, the inferiority of modern girl bands when compared with the Spice Girls, the overlooked yet career-defining merits of Mel B’s performance in Spice World: The Movie, and fan theories on the true meaning of the phrase ‘zig-a-zig-ah’. If Bridie was tempted to go back to Joel’s place later – which she absolutely was not going to be doing no matter how much alcohol she swallowed down to cushion this horrendous experience – she imagined she’d be expected to shag him in some sort of Spice shrine while wearing a replica of Geri Halliwell’s Union Jack dress.
‘So what’s your favourite of their albums then, Bridie?’ he asked her.
She roused herself. After last night’s kip on Jake’s mum’s sofa, she was only barely managing to stay awake for this evening’s disastrous date.
‘Oh, er… the last one, definitely,’ she said, nodding sagely.
He frowned. ‘Forever, really? Wow. Not sure how you can defend a choice like that.’
‘Well, you know. I’m a rebel.’ She glanced around at the sound of approaching footsteps and groaned. ‘Oh God.’
He followed her gaze to Ben, who was making a beeline for their table with a big grin on his face. ‘You know that guy?’
Love at First Fight Page 3