by Karr, Kim
“I don’t know,” he whispered.
It was probably the most honest thing anyone had ever said to me.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
JAXSON
ANY SANE MAN WOULD HAVE called the police.
Sure, the whole orange-is-the-new-black thing had crossed my mind . . . but only for a minute or so.
It was a threat I hadn’t truly intended to keep.
Besides, what the hell kind of guy would I be if I did? I knew from the moment I saw her in the hotel bar she wasn’t who she was pretending to be, and it amused me.
I was the motherfucker who wanted to play along.
Had no fucking idea what it would cost me—but I’d willingly taken the ride. Hell, I’d even taken her on it.
I stepped in front of her to open the door and hoped like fuck she didn’t run again. Catching her would be easy, I just didn’t want to have to chase her, make her feel like she was a victim.
Then again—I had been her victim.
Hadn’t I?
Switching on the lights, I whirled around to tell her I’d changed my mind. That I couldn’t do this. Couldn’t help her. That she needed to find her own way.
But then I remembered the dog tags in my pocket, the two sets, and couldn’t.
Besides, in this bright light, I could really see the thief, as I’d taken to calling her in my mind, and she looked like death warmed over. Haggard. Tired. Worried. Scared. Perhaps even petrified.
Yeah, I was the motherfucker who hated that I might be the cause of some of that distress.
“Are you okay?” I asked, unable to maintain the I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude I wanted to hold on to.
“No,” she whispered, and another tear spilled down her cheek. “No, I’m not.”
I couldn’t help myself, stop myself, and using the pad of my thumb, I wiped the water away. Concerned she might drop right there, I rested my hands on the torn fabric at her hips.
My body instantly reacted. My dick immediately standing at attention in the confines of my jeans. Fuck, I wanted her. And how screwed up was that? But my cock had gotten used to being denied, and I was able to set my lustful desire aside.
It was her wide eyes staring back at me that really got me. And right then I knew no matter how much I vowed to toughen up over this past year, I wasn’t going to turn her in, and I wasn’t going to turn her away, either.
I was going to help her.
I wanted to help her.
I wanted her—even after what she’d done to me.
Fuck me.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” I told her. “It will make you feel better.” It was shallow, but I didn’t know enough about why she wasn’t okay to give her any real assurances.
Besides, I didn’t owe her anything. In fact, she was the one who owed me, and yet I didn’t feel that way. I felt like I was the shit in this situation. I felt like I should have wanted to get to know her last night instead of closing myself off, and then maybe I could have stopped her from doing what she’d done, what was obviously eating away at her.
I was starting to feel a lot of things I knew I shouldn’t. Like that easy-going guy I’d always been, slipping out of the cage I’d put him in.
I knew better.
I had to lock him back up.
I couldn’t get close to her. I had to keep my distance. The truth was—nice guys really did always finish last.
And I was done with last.
Done with nice.
Done with Sundance.
In the metaphoric sense, I was now Butch.
Pushing my own shit aside, I strode toward the bathroom where I knew there would be a first-aid kit, hoping she was going to follow willingly.
The place was massive. A one-bedroom villa with an indoor and outdoor shower, a full kitchen, private swimming pool, and a hot tub. It wasn’t the honeymoon suite that the thief had been in, but it was still fine. Very fine. And paid for courtesy of Sports Illustrated.
This was what being Butch had gotten me, I reminded myself. Being Sundance had gotten me dumped.
You see, after Jules Easton dumped me and broke my heart into a million different pieces, I vowed to toughen up. To change the easy-going guy I had always been into someone new. To take control of my life. To stop worrying about everyone else and only worry about myself.
Up until last night, I had also been celibate. Swearing off woman all together to focus on me.
But that’s a moot point.
I did it for my career.
To remove any distractions.
And it worked.
During that time, I had stepped outside my wheelhouse and took some very risqué photos of brides. And then I sent them to Sports Illustrated for a contest they were having. When they notified me that I’d won, I accepted the lead position without a second thought, closed my business down, sublet my apartment, packed my shit, and decided not to be concerned about what came next.
I almost didn’t make it here though—because of Sadie Banks.
And I had to remember that as well. Also remember, because of the thief, I lost my assistant. I hadn’t expected that much from her, anyway, other than being a pain in my ass and sabotage, that was. Either way, I needed the help.
Despite the challenges presented to me, I was here. On a whirlwind six-week trip to three different exotic locations, where I, me, the photographer known as Sundance, would be shooting photos at each one, for this year’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
When I reached the large stone and marble bathroom, I opened the medicine cabinet and found not only the white and red box staring back at me, but also two very green eyes. “You should get out of that dress and let me see how bad the cuts are,” I told her.
She was hugging herself and didn’t move.
I set the kit down and walked over to her. “Turn around and I’ll unzip you.”
She shook her head. “I can do it myself.”
“Fine.” I stepped back.
She attempted to unzip her dress and failed miserably.
I raised a brow. “Turn around.”
She shook her head. “I’m not wearing anything beneath it.”
I had to stifle my laugh. “In case you’ve forgotten, I’ve already seen you naked. And after everything that’s happened, I’m not interested in anything more than helping you get out of this fucked-up situation you’re in. So turn around.”
Yeah, so I lied, to her and myself.
Didn’t mean I didn’t want it to be true.
Slowly, she pivoted. Her dress was a tattered mess and the zipper was completely mangled. Every time I tried to pull it down, it ripped the dress a little more until it wouldn’t budge. “I think I might have to cut the dress off,” I told her.
She looked over her shoulder at me. “I don’t care if you burn it. It was a gift I only got because of what you did to me.”
I raised a suspicious brow. “Excuse me?”
While I slowly began to cut her out of the dress, she told me about the stock image of myself, and how her assistant had given it to her to use in her column, and consequently how using it had gotten her fired. I wanted to say, “I’m sorry,” but I didn’t because that was the good guy in me talking. And he was gone. The tough guy wanted to say, “Tough shit,” but that was too harsh. Remembering the article, I settled on, “Both Elise and Chloe are real bitches,” and then we both actually laughed.
Lost in laughter, I cut through the hem of the dress, and didn’t realize it until the fabric separated into two pieces and fell to the ground.
The thief stood completely bare, and we both stopped laughing. Her breathing picked up, and so did mine. Fuck, even in the state she was in, bruised and all, she was hot.
“I didn’t have any clean underwear,” she explained.
In the mirror, I could see one of her hands covering those perfectly sized tits that I’d gotten up close and personal with just over twenty-four hours ago, and the other shielding that sweet, bare pussy that had
tasted so incredibly good.
My cock went rock hard this time.
I kept my eyes trained on her face, trying to give her the privacy she wanted.
Still, my mind wandered elsewhere. I wanted to bend her over the counter, slide inside her, and pound into her from behind. I wanted to push her onto her knees and tell her to suck my dick. Hell, I wanted to get on my own knees and eat her until she screamed my name so loud even the neighbors could hear her. And there were a million other ways I could take her swirling in my head.
But there would be none of that, though, and I had to get the hell out of here. I couldn’t take it. Heading toward the shower, I turned it on. “You should probably wash up before I bandage your wounds.”
“Yes, that’s a good idea,” she said quietly.
Not looking at her, I grabbed the resort robe from behind the door and set it on the counter. “You can wear this until I can get you some clothes in the morning.”
“Thank you. I will pay you back.”
Feeling uncomfortable with the situation we were in, I cleared my throat. I didn’t want any more apologies. “I’ll be in the other room waiting for you,” I told her as I grabbed the first-aid kit, and then hightailed it out of there.
The truth was I wasn’t sure how much longer I could last. And the ironic part of it all—I never wanted to do such bad things to anyone—not as much as I wanted to do them to her.
Put her over my knee and spank her tight little ass for stealing.
Bend her over the counter and fuck her senseless for lying.
Push her back and plunge inside her sweet pussy to make her feel better.
Tie her to the bed with her legs spread and bring her to the brink over and over.
And so many other very inappropriate things.
I wasn’t sure if it was the whole Butch version of myself I was attempting to capture, or if the Sundance in me had died, or this dirty side was something new all together. Something only she brought out in me.
Whichever the reason, it was crazy.
“She stole from you,” I told myself.
“She’s a thief,” I reminded myself.
“Keep her at a distance,” echoed in my mind.
And yet, “You want her to come a little closer,” was all I heard.
And that scared the living hell out of me.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
SADIE
I WAS A TOTAL CHICKEN.
After taking my time in the shower, taking my time drying off, and then taking my time putting on the robe, I wasn’t sure if I should go out in the other room and tell Jaxson everything about Simon, about Riley, about myself, or if I should just open the window and flee.
I didn’t want to face what I’d done.
To let all the bad slap me in the face.
And yet I knew I deserved that and so much more, so I took a deep breath, blew it out, and forced myself to open the door instead of shimmying out the window.
Step 5: Admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Even from across the room he looked hot as sin. With that movie-star dark hair a mess from the outdoor breeze and those low riding jeans, he looked like sex on a stick. Seriously, he really was beyond good looking.
In the midst of my situation, he was also the last thing I should be thinking about.
Tall, dark, handsome, but also brooding.
Brooding.
Because of me.
Brooding because he’d lost the love of his life.
And then there was also the very real fact that he didn’t want me, not anymore, anyway. Obviously, once was enough for him. Or maybe it was the stealing thing that had turned him off. Not that I could blame him.
I cleared my throat.
He looked my way. “I was just about to come and see if you were still here,” he said from behind the kitchen counter.
It was a joke, and it was something that made me feel like staying was the right choice. Staying with him was the right choice. Still, I felt so bare. I stopped in the living room and pulled the ties of my robe tighter. “I had thought about squeezing out the window,” I replied honestly.
He was pouring a bottle of water into a glass, and when he looked up, the corners of his mouth tilted in a way that melted my heart. “I don’t doubt that for a minute, which is why I was standing outside it.”
“You weren’t?”
He shook his head. “No, I figured you had nowhere else to go.”
That was certainly right.
Nervous, I turned to look out the open doors toward the sprawling vastness of the sea. The sound of the ocean and the smell of salt in the air always calmed me.
“Here, drink this.”
I hadn’t heard him coming up on me, and I flinched.
From behind me, he held the glass out in front of me. “I told you I’m not going to turn you in. You don’t have to be afraid.”
My body reacted to his closeness with a yearning I had never felt. Ignoring it, I took the glass and said, “I know, but what I did was wrong, and it cost you a lot.”
“Yes, and you’re going to pay me back, and not on your back.”
I had to laugh. “I don’t know anything about being a photography assistant.”
“It’s not really that hard. You do what I tell you to do, and you’ll be fine. Let’s start seeing how well you follow instructions by drinking the water.”
Instructions?
It felt more like an order, but who was I to argue. With that, I did as he said and sucked the liquid down. Turning to set the glass on the coffee table, I saw a plate with a silver dome.
Jaxson leaned toward the table and picked up the first-aid kit that sat beside it. “I ordered you food. After getting sick, I think you should eat something, but first let’s take care of those cuts.”
No one had ever taken care of me but myself. “I can do it,” I said, reaching out my hand for the red and white box.
He shook his head. “Follow instructions, remember?”
I nodded.
“Good, now sit down.”
There was an edge of steel in his voice that warned me not to argue, so I took a seat on the white sofa. Jaxson sat beside me and lifted my bare leg. A low hiss escaped his tight lips when he did. I didn’t know if he was pissed or excited at the sight. My reaction was more blatant. I couldn’t hide the goose bumps rising all over my skin.
I was excited.
Getting right to work, he applied Neosporin to some areas and then bandaged the wider, deeper scrapes. When he was done, I had a total of six Band-Aids on my legs alone. The bottoms of my feet felt raw, and he used the gauze rolls to wrap them. “We might need to take you to the resort medic tomorrow and get an antibiotic so these wounds don’t become infected.”
“That’s not necessary. I’ll be fine.”
His gaze darted to mine and another low hiss escaped his lips. Now I knew it was anger, not excitement. “Goddamn it, Sadie, stop fighting me on everything.”
It was the first time he’d called me by my real name, and the concern in his tone took my breath away. “Okay,” I said.
Moving to my arms, he inspected them just as thoroughly as he had my legs, but they weren’t as bad. No Band-Aids were required.
When his hands went to untie my robe, I grabbed them and held them tight. “I don’t have any scrapes there,” I cried.
His expression turned dark again. “No, but you do have bruised ribs, and I want to make sure the coloring around them hasn’t gotten any worse.”
“I looked down at myself. They’re fine.”
He lifted his head, his mouth tightening once more. “Even so, they need to be wrapped.”
Of course, he was right. I acquiesced and untied my own robe.
“Son of a bitch!” His jaw bulged. “What the hell happened out there?”
“I fell a few times in the brush, but I’ll be fine.”
There was fire in his eyes when he pulled the robe
from my shoulders and glanced at the bruising that had made its way to my back. “Tomorrow morning we are going to the resort medic. Your ribs are purple, and I’m going to guess they are more than just bruised. I’m not a doctor, but a buddy of mine is a fighter, and I’ve seen this a few times. I think you might have a cracked rib or two.”
Perhaps he was right, and Simon had been wrong. I had no idea, but I did know that I was once again naked as a jaybird in front of this man, and although I should have hated being so exposed, nothing about it frightened me.
Jaxson visibly inhaled and exhaled through his nose as he took the roll of ACE wrap and wound it around my naked body. “You shouldn’t have run like that.”
I looked at his perfectly chiseled face. “I felt like I didn’t have a choice.”
He averted my stare. Perhaps he wanted to say something, but he said nothing and just kept on with what he was doing—touching my naked skin and lighting me up from the inside.
When he was done, he pulled the robe back onto my shoulders and tied the belt tight, like he couldn’t stand to look at me one more minute.
I waited for him to look at me, but he didn’t.
Instead, he stood. “Eat first, and then I want you to tell me everything, and I mean everything. If I think you’re lying, or leaving anything out, I’ll drive you to the airport myself in the morning.”
Again, I nodded.
He was cold. Removed. And I believed him.
Taking that as a yes, he lifted the dome from the plate.
A burger and fries.
A memory from the night before.
It should have made me smile, and yet that, along with the telling-him-everything part put a frown on my lips.
While I ate, Jaxson went into the bedroom. I could hear him on the phone, but couldn’t hear what he was saying. For all I knew, he was lying to me about not calling the police and was on the phone with them now. Still, I didn’t really think that.
About fifteen minutes later, he came out of the bedroom, strode over to the bar, picked up two glasses and the crystal decanter, set them down in front of me, and then sat beside me. “So that you know, I had a friend of mine verify you are who you say you are.”