"Already?" He laughs out loud, making my heart speed up even more. He pushes his cock deeper. "I told you, toy... You have to beg for it like a good girl."
"P-Please." The words won't leave my lips. My mind won't let them even though my body is more than eager to submit to Dexter fully. "Please, do it."
"Oh come on." He laughs, pulling out to my dismay. "You can do better than that, can't you, my pretty toy? You have to earn it... Be obedient."
I shake my head no. I don't want to give him the satisfaction.
All of a sudden, his fist wraps in my hair and he throws me on the bed. I land on the cushions, sprawled out and at my bully's mercy. Our eyes meet. He wants me. I want him. And yet we're still playing games, pushing one another.
"Are you really mine?" he wonders out loud. "Or do you still think about the other boys?"
I don't answer, hitting back where it hurts instead. "Are you mine? Or are you still Lily Anna's?"
Dex's mouth forms a thin line, his jaw setting. "She's gone."
"Is she really?" I whisper. "Sometimes it feels like she's right here..."
I watch Dex's hard cock twitch with annoyance, and the next second, he's on the bed, pressed up against me. "You going to keep talking back, toy? Do I need to teach you manners all over again?"
"Maybe," I spit out.
"Fine." He reaches over to the nightstand, opening the drawer and pulling out a pair of handcuffs. "I can do that."
My eyes light up, but then I notice the scrap of fabric in the drawer. Before Dex can stop me, I reach for it, pulling out a pair of panties. "What's this?"
"It's..." His expression falls, then hardens. "It's nothing."
"They're panties, Dex." I throw them at him, scrambling to get away, but he holds me down. He pins my hands above my head and straddles me. "Get the fuck off me."
"Why? You know I've been with others before."
"How long ago, Dex?" I hiss. "While you've been with me?"
"You're jealous," he smirks. "It's cute."
"I know there's shit you aren't telling me," I snarl.
"So?" He shrugs. "Every man has his secrets."
"Why did Anders quit?" I demand. "Why don't you have any help?"
"I can't afford it," he grits out. "Because of you. Fucking remember?"
"It was before that." I shake my head, and this time when I fight him off, he lets me. I'm almost disappointed. "You're hiding something."
I walk away from him, down the hallway. Dex follows.
"Can you fucking stop for a second?" he demands.
"No!" I turn to face him. "You're hiding important things from me."
He doesn't deny it. "You don't want to know everything, fucking trust me."
"I deserve to," I argue. "So here's your chance, Dex. Tell me the truth, or lose me forever."
He hesitates. An excruciatingly long minute passes.
"You know what?" I hiss. "Fine. I'm leaving. Keep your secrets."
"Where the fuck are you going to go?"
"Not your problem." I pull out the phone he gave me and make a call. He unlocked it for me days ago, but I can’t make cross-country calls yet. "Hey, it's me. Can I stay with you for a while? Okay. Yeah. Thanks."
I end the call and give him a self-satisfied glare.
"See what you made me do?"
"That better hadn't been one of the guys," he snarls.
"What's it to you?" I cock my head to the side. "Maybe you should call Audra here. She'll keep your bed warm."
"Fuck that," he grits out. "I don't want Audra."
"Then fucking come with me." I take a step forward, taking his hand in mine. "Let's go, Dex. Let's leave Eden Falls, like we talked about. Let's go right now."
He hesitates. I'm so eager for him to say yes, I pretend not to notice.
"Please," I plead with him. "Let's leave this town behind."
"I can't," he manages to get out, his voice breaking over the voice.
"Why not?" I demand. "What's keeping you here?"
"Lily Anna." He won't meet my eyes.
"She's dead, Dexter! She's fucking gone!" I cry out. "When are you going to finally accept that?"
"She's... still here," he manages.
"Because you won't let go," I remind him. "None of you will - not Father, not any of your friends. You're all so fucking obsessed with her. Just deal with it. She's dead!"
"She's not!" He punches the wall then, right next to my face, making me jump back in fear. "She's not dead, Pandora."
"W-What?" My eyes widen. "What do you mean?"
He hesitates, but then his gaze meets mine. "She's not dead."
"How do you know? Where else would she be if she wasn't dead?"
"She's here." His voice breaks again.
"You're fucking delusional, Dex," I tell him. "You're so obsessed with her, you've convinced yourself she's still here... It's sick. Fucking sick."
I walk past him into the closet and start stuffing my clothes into an overnight bag, feeling pissed off. Dex looks defeated. Broken. I've never seen him like this.
"You're leaving for real?" he asks, and I just glare at him. “I don’t think you should.”
"You don’t think I should?” I ask, daring him to ask me to stay.
“No, I don’t,” he hisses. “I think you should stay here, where your place is. Don’t fucking leave.”
His words cut deep. I hesitate, but then I shake my head, more certain than ever. "I have to, Dex. You're obsessed. I can't be with a man who's constantly thinking about someone else."
I finish packing, get dressed and stroll past him without another word. I walk outside, waiting in the driveway while Dex lingers in the hallway, watching me.
"Are you going to Easton's?" he finally asks.
"No," I snarl.
"Who then?"
"Why do you care?"
"Because you're fucking mine." The words come out in a snarl.
"I'm not," I say. "Not until you admit she's gone. Can you do that for me, Dex?"
His silent stare says it all, and I shake my head in disbelief just as the limo pulls up into the Booth driveway. "Goodbye, Dexter."
He watches silently as I get into the car. The windows are tinted, so I tell myself he won't see me watching him. I don't take my eyes off him until he's gone.
"It's going to be okay." A hand finds mine. I look up into Lai's eyes, smiling weakly.
"Thanks for letting me stay with you," I whisper. "I didn't know who else to call."
"It's okay." We sit there in companionable silence. "Do you love him, Pandora?"
I struggle with my answer, not because I don't know the truth, but because I don't want to admit it. When I do, everyone will know for sure. And I'll be the weak one again. The one with no power.
"Sometimes," I finally whisper.
"It's okay," he says again, his hand patting mine. "Sometimes, I love him, too."
My eyes snap to his. "Really?"
"Really." He laughs nervously. "Not that he'd ever... you know."
"Why did you agree to help me?" I whisper. "You never wanted to before. Do you feel sorry for me?"
"No, Pandora." He smiles, but there's sadness in the expression. "I'm just an idiot caught in an epic love story that has no room for me."
His words cut deep, and I think about them while we drive.
"Where are we even going? I don't know where you live..."
"You'll see soon enough," he replies with a smile. "You'll find out everything."
"It seems like it's never everything," I mutter. "This town has too many secrets."
He smiles just as the car starts moving up a winding driveway. We reach the house then, one I never knew of, another beautiful Gothic mansion illuminated by perfectly placed spotlights. It's like a scene out of a movie.
"This is where you live?" I ask. "It's amazing."
"There's a lot you don't know about me," he replies. "Come on, let's go inside. I want you to meet my brother."
I allow hi
m to open the door and lead me up to the house. I feel shabby in my thrown together outfit, especially when the maids give me questionable glances as they scurry past us.
"You're safe here," Lai reassures me. "Stay as long as you want."
"Thank you." We stand in the hallway, his hand lingering on mine, our eyes locked in a silent dance. I have so many questions, but I'm too afraid to ask. Lai gives me butterflies. Lai makes me feel safe. And yet I'm so afraid of him. Not like Dexter. Dexter hurts me because he knows I love it. Lai... Lai hurts me because I hurt him.
But for the time being, he's an ally. And I need to keep it that way.
"Come on," he says, offering me his arm. "I have a lot to tell you."
I smile, accepting his offer and allowing him to lead me down the hallway.
I tell myself everything is going to be okay and I don't need Dexter Booth at all, not with Lai around.
But I don't believe my own lies.
I know I'll go back to him.
I just hope I'll be Dex's final choice. But if it's between me and Lily Anna... it's always going to be a losing game, because I'll never measure up to the perfect, beautiful girl who came before me.
Chapter Seventeen
Dexter
Pandora Oakes has left me a mess. I miss her. I don't want to admit it, but I feel alone. Lonely. Ready to call her and demand she come back, right the fuck now. But I have other problems I need to deal with. Namely a very pretty prisoner I need to set free.
I contemplate my next step for days. I need to be careful, calm and collected when I deliver the news. I have a feeling Lily Anna won't react well, but I don't have a choice. I'm more determined than ever to get out of this town, to escape with Pandora in tow. The only person standing in my way is the girl locked in my house.
I knock on the door to tell her I'm coming, then unlock it and walk inside. She's sitting on her mattress, her eyes lighting up when she sees me. She picks herself up with barely held back excitement and I hate myself for what I'm about to do to her. She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't even know what's coming...
"Hi," I say gruffly.
"Hello." She's careful, apprehensive, and she should be. "Everything okay? It's not dinner time yet..."
I sit down cross-legged on the hardwood floor. She sits next to me, crawling closer on all fours. I can't even look at her, can't risk Lily Anna seeing the truth in my eyes.
"What's wrong?" She knows already. She knows something's off, and I'm about to destroy her.
"I'm thinking about leaving town." I deliver the words with finality, but I know full well she'll fight back.
"Oh?" Her brows shoot up. "Where are we going?"
"Not we, Lily Anna." I groan, running my fingers through my hair. "Just me."
"What about me?"
"You'll be free." This time, I finally meet her eyes, expecting her to be thrilled since I'm finally giving her what she's been asking for all along. "Isn't that what you wanted, Lily Anna?"
"I want to be with you." She crosses her arms stubbornly and glares at me. "Why are you thinking about leaving me?"
"I need to get out of here," I mutter. "This town is toxic and I'm fucking done with it."
"Then take me with you." She scoots closer and takes my hands in hers, holding them to her racing heart. "Please, I'll be good, just take me with you..."
"I can't."
"Why not?" Now she sounds angry. Her emotions are so unpredictable, it scares the fuck out of me sometimes.
"Because I..." I ponder my words before finally deciding to tell her the truth. She deserves it after everything I've done to her. "I'm leaving with someone else."
"Lai or something?" She narrows her eyes at me. I shake my head. "Who then?"
"Pandora."
"Pandora?" She repeats the name in shock before rolling her eyes. "You can't be fucking serious. The fucking imposter little girl who took my spot?"
I don't answer her. Our gazes lock, threatening to burn each other down.
"You love her?" she asks, and I don't answer. This makes her bottom lip wobble, and she crawls closer to me, desperate hands grabbing me, clinging to me. "Tell me you don't love her, Dexter."
I look into her eyes. I don't have to answer. She knows the truth already.
Lily Anna screams then, starting to hammer my chest with her little fists. I make no move to stop her. I deserve her rage, deserve her taking this anger out on me when I've been fucking with her head for years. A part of me even hopes she'll break skin, draw blood. I deserve that, too.
"You're a monster," Lily Anna hisses at me. "I should've known you'd do this to me."
She tackles me, and this time I don't hesitate before overpowering her, easily tossing her on her back on the mattress. I straddle her, pinning her arms above her head and watching her chest rise and fall with each angry breath she takes.
"I never meant to hurt you," I hiss at her. "Believe it or not, I loved you."
"Loved," she spits out, laughing bitterly. Her expression changes suddenly, and her eyes fill with tears. "Loved, Dexter. What happened to us? It was supposed to be forever."
I stare her down, not knowing what to tell her, not knowing how to make it better. There's really only one answer - only one reason I don't want her anymore.
And her name is Pandora Oakes.
"You deserve everything bad that's ever happened to you," Lily Anna hisses at me now, vicious and pissed off. "You deserve it all, Dexter. You deserve to die."
"Calm down," I hiss when she tries to fight me off. "Just fucking calm down for one second..."
She raises herself with strength I'm not expecting, and her lips are on mine. She's kissing me, stealing from me, devouring me, but I pull back, flattening her body against the mattress.
"Don't you dare," I tell her coolly.
"You're mine," she spits out.
"Not anymore."
"Always!" She stomps her feet like the fucking brat she is.
"Not anymore, Lily Anna. Not anymore."
"I hate you. I fucking hate you!" She's having another one of her temper tantrums now, moving restlessly on the mattress while I do my best to restrain her before she hurts us both. "I'll never forgive you for what you did to me. Never, ever, ever, Dexter!"
I let her get it all out. I don't say a word until she stops resisting. Then, I let go and stand up, watching her curl up into a ball on the mattress and start sobbing. The sight and sound both break my heart, but I don't know how to make it better.
"I'll pay for your ticket to Wildwood," I tell her. "I'll give you anything you want. If you want to go meet your... biological parents, or stay here... just tell me."
"I want you." The words are a broken whisper, and even though I know they shouldn't hurt, they cut fucking deep. "Why can't I have you?"
I stare down at her. "Because I'm not yours anymore."
"Don't you want me, Dexter?" She trembles, sitting up and spreading her legs wide for me. She's not wearing any panties. "Don't you want this?"
"Close your legs," I growl. "Now."
She disobeys, staring right into my eyes as she starts touching herself, rubbing all the sensitive spots on her body that used to drive me fucking insane with need.
"Tell me you don't want me," she whispers. "Tell me you don't want to fuck me..."
"You need to stop."
"And you need to start telling the truth... Admit you want me, Dex... Admit it, just fucking admit."
I stay stubbornly silent. A minute passes, and the rage in her boils and boils until she shoots up, fingers dripping with her own juices as she stands before me, a beautiful fury.
"You really don't want me anymore?" she demands, and I shake my head vehemently. Something changes inside her then. Her shoulders pull back. She seems detached, eager to strike where it hurts most. She’s calculating. Cold. And I know whatever she’ll try to hurt me with next will fucking sting.
"Maybe it's time you find out the truth, then."
"The truth?" I
knit my brows together in worry.
"About your parents."
My hands form fists. "You mean that your father fucking murdered them."
"No." She smiles sweetly, approaching me and smoothing out my crisp shirt collar. Her eyes burn with madness I’ve seen so many times these past few years. "I did, darling."
I stare her down, unable to comprehend her words. "What?"
"Think about it," she purrs. "I was at your house. I knew where the key was."
"Why would you hurt them?" I grunt.
"Because you loved them," she whispers. "You loved them, and I only want you to love me."
My blood runs cold then and I stare her down in disbelief. "Are you fucking serious? You set the fire?"
"It was so easy." She giggles, making me feel sicker and sicker inside. "And the flames... oh, the beautiful flames. They were so fast. So angry. I loved it. I want to do it again and again."
"You..." I swallow, fighting the urge to kill her then and there. "You wanted me to believe your father did it."
She shrugs easily, as if it means nothing. "It was easier. You loved me then. You don't love me now."
"You're a fucking monster," I hiss at her. "You're a psychopath."
"And you loved me once upon a time," she smiles sadly. "Isn't it sad, Dexter? Now you'll have to pay for everything. For betraying me. You know what I'm going to do?"
She approaches me while I grit my teeth together. Lily Anna runs a finger down my chest, smiling wide.
"I'm going to kill that girl," she purrs. "She's as good as dead. And you signed her death sentence, Dex. You signed it, because you fucking love her more than me."
My hands form fists at my sides. It takes everything in me not to react. But I can't. I'm better than that. Better than Lily Anna Oakes, the monstrous girl I used to love.
"I'm never letting you out of here," I mutter. "I'll fucking leave you here to rot."
"No, you won't," she smiles. "You'll feel too guilty. Just now, Dex... The first chance I get..." She imitates slitting her neck, smiling wildly. "She's fucking gone."
I advance against her then, making her back up into a corner without ever laying a finger on her. I tower above her petite body, my veins pulsing with the need to hurt her.
"You'll never get out of here," I tell her. "It's time you paid for what you've done. And no matter what... you lose, Lily Anna."
A Hurt So Sweet: Complete Dark Bully Romance Series Box Set: Elite of Eden Falls Prep Page 45