by Anna Blakely
A narrow pathway ran between the back of the couch and the far wall, and there was an open doorway Kat assumed led to the bedrooms. Overall, it was a cozy, warm space perfect for a quiet couple’s getaway. Which this most definitely was not.
“Bedroom’s yours. I’ll take the couch.” Matt dropped his bag on the floor next to the coffee table.
Crap. There was only one. “I can take the couch,” she offered. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
He looked back at her with a hateful sneer. “Little late for that, isn’t it?”
“I’m sorry. You have to believe me. I had no idea you worked for R.I.S.C.”
“Believe you?” He chuckled, but there was nothing but disdain in his eyes. “That’s funny. One of the few things I do remember about you is I can’t believe a fucking word that comes out of that pretty little mouth of yours.”
Kat winced. His words were like tiny, sharp knives. Each one jabbing new holes in her already damaged heart.
“You’ve changed,” she whispered. “You never used to talk that way before.”
“Before what, Kat?” Matt’s face twisted with feigned confusion. “Before you fooled yourself into thinking someone like you could fall for a guy like me? Before you realized Daddy Dearest was right all along? Or before you decided to leave me so you could go off and marry someone of your stature?”
She frowned. “I never thought any of that. I know you think that’s why I left, but you don’t understand what it was like for me.”
With his hands on his narrow hips, Matt glared as he came back with, “I understand perfectly. You threw me away like I was yesterday’s garbage. It all worked out for you in the end though, didn’t it? I mean, you landed the rich guy with a country club membership and Daddy’s stamp of approval. Sucks that he’s dead, but that means more money for you, right?”
Kat was so shocked by his cruel demeanor, she didn’t even know how to respond. You could tell him the truth.
She gave a mental shake of her head. Sure, she could tell him the whole sordid story of why she’d broken things off with him all those years ago, but what would be the point? Hadn’t he just told her he couldn’t believe anything she said?
Taking her silence as an admission, Kat was stunned to see him turning to open the door.
Panic instantly set in. “You’re leaving?”
“I’m checking the perimeter and setting up surveillance. Don’t worry.” His lip curled. “I’ll still protect that rich little ass of yours, but don’t mistake that to mean I care. The minute you’re safe, I’m gone. You can go back to your house in the hills and forget all about me. Lord knows I’ll have no trouble forgetting you. Did it once before, won’t be any different this time.”
Without another word, Matt walked out the door, slamming it behind him as he left.
Kat somehow managed to get to the bedroom and shut the door before the dam broke. Crawling onto the bed, she curled into the fetal position and cried harder than she had in years.
She’d already known Matt despised her for what she’d done, but not like this. What she’d witnessed was pure, to his soul hatred. The kind Kat knew she’d never be able to change.
Why had she backed down from her father all those years ago? Why couldn’t she have trusted Matt—and herself—to be able to deal with the truth rather than tearing them apart like she had?
But even as she lay there, ugly crying with no signs of stopping, Kat knew the answer. She hadn’t told Matt the truth because she loved him. Loved him so much, so completely, she’d chosen to protect him by letting him go.
So, tell him now!
The tiny voice in the back of her head continued to poke and prod her, but she ignored it. Too much time had passed, and there was too much anger and hurt consuming the great void that would forever exist between them.
The best thing would be for her to stay out of his way and let him do his job. No matter what he said or did, Kat knew she’d always love him. She just prayed someday he’d find it in his hardened heart to forgive her.
Hours later, Kat woke with swollen eyes and a pounding headache. Disoriented, it took her a moment to remember where she was. And who she was with.
The lack of light shining behind the curtains covering the room’s only window told her it was already dark outside. Though she’d slept most of the day away—something she never did—Kat felt as if she could sleep another twelve hours, if not for the incessant headache.
Hating to do it, but knowing she’d end up with one hell of a migraine if she didn’t, Kat peeled herself off the bed and went in search for some ibuprofen. She checked the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, but the bottle she found only had one pill remaining.
Needing more than that to knock out the throbbing in her temple, she slowly shuffled across the floor toward the bedroom door. With her hand on the knob, she filled her lungs with a steeling breath, fearful of what she was about to walk into.
With hesitant steps, Kat scanned the tiny living room, but saw no sign of Matt. With the fleeting thought that he’d changed his mind and decided to leave her after all, she walked to the kitchen, praying she’d find some sort of pain reliever.
Maybe this headache will kill me and put us both out of our misery.
Hating herself for being so dramatic, Kat ran a hand along the wall, flipping the switch when she found it. Squinting against the painful light, she began searching through the cabinets.
Coming up empty on the first two, she saw some bottles in the third one that could be what she needed, but they were on the very top shelf, out of her reach.
Not wanting to mess with dragging a chair into the room to stand on, Kat climbed onto the counter. Balancing carefully on her knees, she started to reach for one of the bottles right as she heard Matt’s deep voice from behind her.
“Need some help?”
With a high-pitched squeal, she jumped. Knocking the bottle from the shelf and throwing herself off balance in the process. When she started to fall, Matt reflexively reached for her, his strong arms catching her before she could hit the floor.
For two full seconds, they stood like that. With his arms around her, holding her close.
Her heart beat forcefully against her ribs, and even though it wasn’t for the reasons she wanted, it felt incredible to be in his arms again.
Staring up into those gorgeous, dark eyes of his, she could’ve sworn she saw a glimmer of heat. But in the next second, he was pushing himself away and stepping as far back as he could.
It was nice while it lasted.
“Sorry. I-I didn’t see you and thought maybe you’d…left.”
He frowned. “I told you I was going to protect you.”
“I know. But when I woke up, everything was dark and quiet. I didn’t see you, so I assumed…”
“I was sitting at the table.”
“In the dark?”
He gave a single nod, glancing over her head to the open cabinet. “What were you searching for?”
“Ibuprofen.”
“Headache?”
She nodded and rubbed her right temple. “Yeah.”
“Migraine?”
The bit of joy she felt from knowing he remembered was completely ridiculous. “Not yet, but it will be if I don’t take something soon. I forgot to grab some when we were at my place, and the bottle I found in the bathroom only had one pill left.”
“Here.” He pushed himself off the counter and came over to where she was standing, “Let me see if there’s anything up here. If not, I think I have some in my bag.”
Sliding out of the way, she watched as he searched the labels on the small bottles she’d been trying to reach. Pulling one from the shelf, he opened it and dumped four brown tablets into his palm.
“Here.”
Not only had he remembered she sometimes got migraines, he also remembered it took her body more than the recommended dose to combat the pain.
Wanting to roll her eyes at the lame attempt to make
something out of nothing, Kat took the pills from his hand.
Ignoring the way it felt to touch his skin again, and how right it had felt being back in his arms, she went to where she’d seen the glasses and grabbed one to use.
Matt stood silently as she filled it with water from the faucet and quickly swallowed the pills down in one gulp. Setting it in the sink, she turned to face him, leery of what would come next.
“They still as bad as they used to be?”
“Sometimes.”
He nodded. “You should probably eat something. Kole stopped by with some groceries earlier while you were sleeping. There’s stuff for sandwiches and chips. He also brought some steaks and chicken breasts. I can cook those up, if you’d rather.”
Already feeling a bit nauseated from the headache, Kat said, “Sandwiches are fine.” Deciding to throw out an olive branch of sorts, she offered, “I can make you one, too. If you want.”
“I already had a couple earlier.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Turning to the fridge, Kat used the time spent searching to try and compose her jumbled thoughts.
When he’d walked out earlier, Matt hadn’t even acted like he could stand to look at her. Now he was offering to cook her a steak?
As if he knew exactly what she was thinking, he spoke while she gathered the items needed for a ham sandwich.
“Listen, Kat. I had a lot of time to think while you were sleeping, and I realized I owe you an apology.”
“No. You don’t.”
Hands full with a package of deli meat, sliced cheese, and a jar of mayonnaise, Kat sat the food down onto the counter. Assuming the bread was in the longer cabinet on the other side of the fridge, she looked there first, pleased to see she was right.
“I do. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. It was unprofessional, and—”
“Matt, stop. Okay?” Kat set the bread down with the other items and turned to him. “If anything, I’m the one who should be apologizing to you.”
“For what?”
“Everything.” Her shoulders fell with a huge sigh. “Ten years ago. Today.” Kat shook her head, then winced. Damn headache. “After finding my apartment had been broken into, I got really scared. I didn’t know what to do, so I went to my dad’s. He called a guy he knows at Homeland, and that man sent me to you. Well, not you. R.I.S.C. I didn’t realize you worked there until I saw you. I know you don’t believe that, but—”
“I believe you.”
Her eyes met his. “You do?”
Matt nodded. “I shouldn’t have said that about not being able to trust you. I also shouldn’t have said what I did at the office. I was pissed, and…” He sighed. “I don’t know. This just wasn’t how I expected my day to go, I guess.”
“Me, neither.” Out of habit, Kat took the hair tie she kept on her wrist and threw her hair up into a messy bun to keep it from getting into her food. “Of course, this whole week hasn’t really gone as planned for me, so—”
“What the hell?” A dark scowl crossed over his face.
Kat froze, her hands holding her hair on the top of her head. “What?”
He started toward her. Her mind raced to figure out what she’d said that could’ve possibly upset him, and then she realized his eyes were focused on the left side of her forehead.
“You said you weren’t hurt in the explosion. That looks like more than a couple bruises to me.”
Oh. That.
Kat quickly plucked a few strands from the bun to make some long bangs. Running her fingers through the tangled cluster, she worked to smooth them out and cover the stitches she’d forgotten about.
“It’s nothing.”
“You have stitches in your forehead, Katherine. That’s not nothing.”
In the past, he only used her full name when he wanted her to know he was being serious. Add to that, the concerned look in his eye and tone of voice, and Kat found herself feeling thoroughly confused.
“I told you, I hit my head on the floor when I landed.”
In a surprising move, Matt reached up and brushed the newly arranged strands aside for a better look. “Does it hurt?”
Kat’s pulse spiked from his gentle touch. “It’s tender, but nothing I can’t handle.”
His eyes dropped to hers. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. Seeing your colleagues hurt and not being able to help them… shit like that can mess with you.”
She had a feeling he was speaking from experience. “I see it every time I close my eyes,” she admitted quietly.
With a sympathetic expression, Matt said, “I bet you do.”
Maybe he really does still care.
Memories of being this close to him for a whole other reason threatened to take over. It was almost enough to make her do something stupid like lean up and kiss him.
As much as she’d dreamed of feeling his lips on hers again—God, did she want to—Kat knew it would undo every ounce of civility they’d managed to obtain during these past few minutes.
She took a step back. Understanding filled his dark eyes and Matt’s hand dropped back to his side.
Overwhelmed by the whole situation, Kat decided it would be best if she spent the rest of the evening alone.
“Actually.” She started gathering the food back into her hands. “I think I’ll wait on the sandwich.”
“Thought you were hungry.”
“I thought I was, too.” Kat went about putting the items back into their rightful place.
Matt filled her in on tomorrow’s plans while she did. “Derek called earlier. He’s Alpha Team’s computer specialist.”
“I remember.”
“Right.” He actually gave her a hint of a smile. “Anyway, he’s going to be stopping by tomorrow to bring me a few things. Is there anything you need from town? I can send him a list.”
The kind gesture was unexpected and actually pretty thoughtful. So why did she feel like he was hiding something?
Gee, I don’t know. Maybe because he’s gone from being Asshole of the Year to something closely resembling the sweet, caring man she used to know, in only a few hours’ time.
Still. This was Matt. He used to be her Matt. He may not fully trust her yet, but she trusted him with her life. At least she used to.
“I can’t think of anything I need.” Other than you. “Thanks, though.”
He nodded. “I’m going to check the perimeter and surveillance equipment one last time before hitting the couch.”
“Okay.” Kat gave him a tiny smile. “Goodnight, Matt.”
As she stepped past, she heard a low, “’Night, Doc.”
That time when he said it, the nickname made her smile.
Chapter 5
What the fuck was that?
Matt shut the door behind him and blew out a heavy breath. The spring, Texas air had cooled since sundown, a welcome relief to his feverish skin.
As he made his way around the cabin’s exterior and the immediate area surrounding it, he tried to make sense of the entire, fucked up situation.
After his big blow up, Matt had used his time securing the area to cool off and regroup.
He was supposed to be trying to get a feel for whether or not Kat was involved in the suspected plot to steal the formula. In order to do that, he had to at least make her feel comfortable enough to open up to him.
Something that would never happen if he kept throwing their past in her face and treating her like shit.
Determined to take one for the team, he’d gone back inside to swallow his pride and apologize. When he’d heard Kat crying through the bedroom door, he changed his mind and decided to give her some space.
Needing more time to process, himself, Matt had sat down at the table. His mind filling with memories—both good and bad.
Eventually, her sobs slowly faded away. By the time she’d cried herself to sleep, he felt like the biggest dick on the planet.
Matt didn’t know which pissed him off more, the fact that
everything he’d said to her before was true, or that he’d actually felt bad for making her cry.
Then almost instantly, he’d given himself a mental slap on the head for feeling even an ounce of guilt.
He hadn’t been the one to crush her dreams. Didn’t tear her heart out piece by fucking piece. So why should he feel bad?
The answer was, he shouldn’t. But he did. And that made him furious all over again, which was the one thing he was trying to avoid.
Matt hadn’t felt this out of control since that day on the pier. It was like he was the lone rider on a goddamn emotional roller coaster.
A big one, with huge-ass twists and turns and no seatbelt. And he fucking hated it.
Matt had only gone into the kitchen to help her. To use the opportunity to try and rebuild at least some of the trust between them in order to do what his job required.
But when he saw she was physically hurting, a very real and unexpected feeling of sympathy rose to the surface. He remembered how debilitating her headaches could sometimes become, and always hated that he couldn’t do more to ease her pain.
Then, when he caught a glimpse of those fucking stitches, his protective instincts came rushing back to life.
Before he’d even realized he was moving, Matt had found himself standing in front of her. The need to make sure she was okay overruling any sense of objectivity.
As he walked across the dewy ground now, he wondered how he’d let himself get that close. One minute, he couldn’t wait to get away from her. In the next, he was touching her. Had actually considered kissing her.
After everything Kat had put him through, that thought shouldn’t have been a blip on his fucking radar. And the way she’d looked up at him…
Matt had been with enough women to recognize attraction and arousal. There was no doubt in his mind if he’d started something, she would have been more than willing to finish it.
Hell. No.
There had to be a way to put that particular genie back into its bottle. For several reasons. First and foremost being his personal feelings had no place on a job like this.