by Anna Blakely
Something about the way D said that last part made Matt’s ears perk up. “You have something particular in mind?”
“Me? Nope. Just meant let me know if you come across something that doesn’t add up for you.”
Derek was acting a bit strange, but that wasn’t necessarily unusual for the former SEAL. “Thanks, man. Appreciate it.”
“No problem.”
Matt ended the call and set the phone back down onto the table. Shit. He hated the idea of having to tell Kat her friend and colleague was guilty as hell.
See? Things have changed.
Before, he’d have looked for any and every way he could find to cause her as much pain as she’d caused him. Dick move, he knew. At least Matt was man enough to admit it.
But now, he suddenly found himself wanting to protect her again. To shield her from the pain and grief he knew she’d experience once he broke the news to her.
He pictured the way she’d looked back at him in the shower. The way her pupils had dilated with an unmistakable heat when she’d realized what he’d been doing before she stormed in.
Matt allowed himself a moment to relish in the emotion he’d seen pouring out from behind those guarded eyes when Kat had been riding him, inches from where he sat now.
Those weren’t the looks one got from a cold, uncaring person. It was the way Nate’s and Kole’s wives looked at them when they thought no one else was paying attention.
Shit. Matt blinked, fighting to accept what he realized was happening. Whether he wanted it to or not, the hard, unbreakable wall he’d erected around his broken heart that day on the pier was beginning to crack.
For the first time in years, he began to consider the possibility that he’d been wrong about her all along. After all, they were just kids when she’d broken up with him. Maybe it hadn’t been some game to her, after all.
Matt guessed it was possible his lower social status wasn’t the driving force behind her decision to end things. Maybe her feelings for him had simply changed.
If that was the case, could he really fault her for that? People fell in and out of love all the time. It was one of the reasons he avoided it altogether.
Was that it? Was it possible Kat wasn’t the vicious, vindictive woman he’d come to believe? He looked down at the file again.
There’s nothing in here you need to know.
She’d warned him away from seeing what was in there, but hell. That was like telling a little kid not to press the big, red button.
Resting his elbows on his knees, Matt put his head into his hands and sighed. Being indecisive wasn’t his thing. He knew what he wanted, when he wanted it, and most of the time, he got it.
The confusion swirling around inside him now was unfamiliar territory. And Matt fucking hated it.
Screw it.
He reached for the folder, his fingertips barely brushing against the thick, smooth cover when his phone began to ring again. This time it was Kole.
After a quick conversation about the cabin, supplies, and some razzing about his being locked away with a beautiful woman he used to sleep with, Matt ended the call.
Once again, he reached for the folder. Once again, his phone rang.
“Jesus Christ, what now?”
Matt’s harsh greeting took Zade by surprise. “Sorry, man. If this is a bad time, I can call back later.”
Closing his eyes, Matt forced the air in his lungs to move in and out of his nostrils at a slow, calming pace. “Sorry, King. What’s up?”
“Your blood pressure, from the sound of things.”
Matt smirked. “You have no idea.”
“Want to talk about it?”
Not happening. “Did you need something?”
“Not really. I knew you were in a less-than-ideal situation, so I thought I’d check in. See how you were holding up.”
Damn. The former Marine was as tough as they came, but the guy sure didn’t hold back with his emotions. It was no secret King had the softest heart out of all the Bravo guys.
“I’m good, but thanks,” Matt lied.
“You don’t sound good.”
He opened his mouth to tell his teammate to fuck off but stopped. Being a surly son of a bitch hadn’t done a whole hell of a lot for him lately. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to confide in someone for a change.
“To be honest, I don’t really know what I am.”
“I take it things with your girl have been a little rough?”
Matt nearly choked from Zade’s words. “Uh…you could say that. And for the last time, she’s not my girl.”
“Look, man. I know I’m the least experienced out of al of us when it comes to women and relationships, but I can tell when a person cares for someone else. That woman definitely still has feelings for you.”
Matt’s heart thumped against his ribs.
“Question is…” Zade continued. “How do you feel about her?”
I don’t feel anything for her.
That’s what Matt wanted to say. But he’d be lying through his clenched teeth.
“Things with Kat are…complicated.”
“I gathered that.” The guy’s voice was laced with humor. “You gonna let that stop you?”
“From what?”
“Going after what you really want.”
“I don’t—”
“Come on, Turner. This is me you’re talking to. You know whatever you share with me is safe.”
Zade was right. The guy may be the most emotional on the team, but he was also the most tight-lipped.
Matt took a deep breath and sighed. “Fine. A small…microscopic part of me might still care a little bit about Katherine. Maybe.”
The other man made a humored, throaty sound. “That’s a start, I suppose. So what’s the problem?”
So many things. “Too much past standing in our way.” He picked up that damn folder, but kept it closed. “Too many unanswered questions.”
“Doesn’t have to stay that way.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Sure it is. You got questions, go ask her for the answers.”
“She doesn’t want me to know.”
“Have you actually asked?”
“I have. Ten years ago.”
Zade’s breathy chuckle made Matt want to reach through the phone and punch the guy in the throat.
“Jesus, Turner. She would’ve been what, eighteen?”
“Seventeen.”
“Dude.”
“What?”
“Oh, that’s right. I forget you’re an only child. Explains so much, but that’s a whole different story. Anyway, I’ve got two sisters, and trust me. Teenage girls are a species all their own. If whatever happened between you two went down when she was that young, you need to let that shit go. Now.”
“You don’t understand.”
“Maybe not. But you may not understand, either. If she kept things from you back then, I’m sure she had her reasons. You ever consider they may not be what you’re assuming?”
Matt remained quiet for a beat before telling Zade, “Derek brought over folders on all the Biomeds employees working in Kat’s lab. Including her.”
“And? What did you find out?”
“I haven’t looked through it yet.”
“Ah…” Zade’s trailing voice had that all-knowing Sensei tone that left Matt half-expecting his teammate to call him Daniel Son.
“What? What is ‘Ah’?”
“Let me ask you this. Which scares you more…the idea of finding confirmation of your suspicions, or finding evidence that you’ve been wrong about her this entire time?” When Matt didn’t answer, his friend quietly told him, “Read the file, Matt. At least then you’ll know. Either way, you can move on.”
Matt ran his fingers over the manila cover. “Thanks for checking on me, Z.”
“Anytime, man. Holler if you need anything.”
Ending the call, Matt set his phone aside. Setting the folder back down, he stood and w
ent into the kitchen to make some coffee. Something told him he was going to need it.
With the pot fully brewed, he filled his mug to the rim and carried it back to the living room. Settling in on the couch once more, he took a few careful sips of the steaming liquid—and several deep, cleansing breaths—before opening the folder and beginning to read.
The first few pages were nothing more than the basic intel. Birth certificate, driver’s license information, current address, and copy of her lease. It was actually pretty scary to think of all the things his team could find out about a person.
Matt skimmed through her high school and college transcripts, impressed as always by her straight A’s and perfect GPA. His chest filled with a familiar pride as he read through the academic awards she’d earned while in college. His heart feeling heavy, wishing he’d been there to see her receive them.
He wasn’t surprised by her educational success. Not in the least.
Sure, Kat’s eidetic memory played a big part in it, but there was more to her than that. Much more.
Skipping past other unrelated intel, Matt came to a picture that sent a dull, rusty knife sliding straight into his heart. It was Katherine’s wedding picture.
This was the same picture he’d found back in the day when he’d been drunk and had looked her up.
The first time he’d seen it, Matt had slammed his computer closed and found the nearest trash can just in time for everything he’d drank to come right back up. Then, he’d drank more to replace it…and then some.
Seeing it now wasn’t any less painful, which didn’t make sense. It shouldn’t still hurt like this. Not after all this time. But it did.
Masochist that he was, Matt actually took the time to study the picture more closely. He hadn’t done that before.
Wearing a long, traditional white dress and veil, Kat smiled for the camera as she held a large bouquet of roses in one hand. Her other was wrapped around her new husband’s bent arm.
The roses struck him as odd, because she’d always told him they were her least favorite flower. They didn’t last very long, she’d say.
She told you a lot of things back then.
With another deep breath, Matt continued his assessment, forcing himself to look at the man she’d married. Brian Anderson was handsome in a preppy, I’ve-got-money sort of way.
His sandy blond hair was perfectly parted, not a single strand out of place. The man’s straight, white teeth shone for the camera, and his posture was spot-on as he stood next to the woman Matt was supposed to marry.
To the untrained eye, they seemed like the perfect couple. But as Matt looked more closely, he realized something was off. It was the way Kat was smiling that nagged at him, and the longer he focused on that damn picture, the clearer it became.
The smile spread across young Katherine’s face wasn’t the one he’d seen looking back at him all those times they’d spoken of building a future together. No, this was the very same smile Kat always used while speaking to her father or his rich, important friends.
Unlike the one he’d dreamed about endlessly, this smile didn’t reach her dark, beautiful eyes. Like a two-by-four, it hit him. Kat’s smile that day was fake as fuck.
His gaze slid to the groom’s, the breath in his lungs damn near catching when he found the same signs of deceit on the young man’s face.
Matt knew what his expression would’ve looked like had it been him standing next to Kat that day in place of this silver-spooned bastard. Anyone looking at him would’ve seen nothing but pure joy if he’d been the one to marry Kat. But this guy…this guy looked as though he would rather be anywhere else in the world.
How did I not see this before?
The answer to that question was simple. He’d been so sick at heart, he hadn’t taken the time to see it.
Gut screaming, Matt sat the folder down onto the coffee table and began shuffling through the remaining pictures and documents with more urgency. Derek had printed off several photos from Anderson’s social media account, so he started with that.
The first several were of him at social gatherings. Katherine wasn’t in any of those, but that wasn’t surprising. Derek had been sure to print off any comments people had left below the pictures, as well and after a quick perusal, Matt realized those pics were mostly from company parties.
He learned from the pictures and comments that Brian Anderson was a second-year lawyer on the fast track to making partner. Kat said he shot himself two years after they were married, but Matt hadn’t bothered to ask anything more. Frankly, he hadn’t wanted to know.
Now, all of a sudden, Matt wanted to know everything he could about the man she’d vowed to spend the rest of her days with.
As he continued his search, he realized nothing glaring stood out. Nothing except the change in Brian’s smile.
In the pictures with his co-workers, he appeared to be genuinely happy. But in almost every single one he’d posted of him and Kat, not so much.
Kat’s were a different story, altogether. Her social media posts were few and far between, but even in the ones with her and what appeared to be a few girlfriends, her expression was the same. That dull, forced happiness Matt knew was far from the real thing.
He went back to Brian’s posts. With an operative’s eye, he examined them more closely. Now that he was in the right mindset, he could see it. Or at least, he had a high suspicion of what he thought the real story was.
There was one common thread in all the pictures where Brian Anderson seemed to be truly happy. Another man.
At first glance, Matt assumed they were nothing more than co-workers. Friends, even. But upon closer inspection, his trained eye picked up on the things most people would miss.
Their close proximity to one another. The way they were looking at each other in some of the pics. Their hands centimeters apart, as if they wanted to link fingers but knew they couldn’t.
Matt opened his phone and accessed his Facebook app. As fast as his fingers would work, he did a quick search for the other men tagged in Brian’s photos until he found the one he was looking for.
It only took a minute for him to confirm what he’d been thinking. The other man, Chad Winthrop, was a proud, openly gay lawyer at Brian’s firm.
Brian shot himself six years ago.
Holy. Shit.
Matt’s wheels were spinning so fast he feared the centrifugal force would cause his brain to shoot straight out of his ears. Over the next hour, he went through every single document in that file.
Derek had somehow accessed the police report, autopsy findings, and photos from Brian’s suicide scene, including a copy of the note he’d left for Kat.
The guy may have married the woman of Matt’s dreams, but it was still heartbreaking to read his final words. Brian didn’t give specifics, but he eluded to the fact that their marriage was a sham. Said stuff about not being able to be himself, leading a life that wasn’t his…living a lie.
Brian never once blamed Kat, though. In fact, by all accounts, Anderson truly did care about her. Just not the way a husband should care for his wife.
Was it possible? Was Kat’s husband…gay?
Grabbing his phone, he called Derek. As he waited for the Alpha Team tech genius to answer, Matt wondered if he was on to something, or simply conjuring up things that weren’t really there.
He knew what he’d found was purely circumstantial. People killed themselves every day for all sorts of reasons, but fuck. It all made sense.
The fake smiles, the closeness oozing off Brian and Chad in those photos…the incredible tightness Matt had felt while trying to work himself into Kat’s pussy less than an hour ago.
At the time, all he could think about was how incredible her snug body felt. But now? Christ, was it possible she and her husband had never even had sex?
I never date.
Oh shit. Matt ran a hand over his jaw. Could it be? Could Kat really have gone without having sex with anyone since…
> Me.
He shook those thoughts away. Getting ahead of himself wasn’t going to help the situation. He needed to concentrate on one insanity at a time.
“Miss me so soon?” Derek answered with a smile Matt couldn’t see.
“What do you know about Chad Winthrop?”
There was a pause and then, “I take it you read Katherine’s file.”
“I did. And unless I’m seeing shit that isn’t there…”
“You’re not.”
Matt swallowed hard. “Brian Anderson was gay, wasn’t he? That’s why he ate a bullet.”
Derek cleared his throat. “Kat’s husband and Chad Winthrop were lovers for nearly two years before Anderson and Kat got married.”
Derek’s answer shouldn’t have taken him by surprise, but it did. “So their marriage was, what? A cover?”
“Kat will have to answer that one. All I can tell you is what I found in Chad’s deleted social media files.”
“Which was?”
“Pictures. Several, in fact. It was clear he and Brian were much more than mere colleagues or friends. And according to the electronic footprint I followed, they were all deleted on the same day…a week before Brian and Kat announced their engagement.”
What the hell?
Derek gave him a moment to process before asking, “You think Kat knew?”
“Yeah,” Matt nodded. “I think she knew. What I don’t understand is why she’d marry a guy knowing he was gay.”
“Like I said, you’ll have to ask her that.”
“Don’t worry,” Matt assured him. “I plan to.”
By the time he’d finished combing through the rest of the documents, he was pretty sure he knew the answer. And it pissed him the hell off all over again.
Chapter 8
“Where is Doctor Marsh now?” The man on the other end of the phone growled.
“I don’t know.”
“What the fuck do you mean you don’t know?”
He gritted his teeth together. If this guy thought his gruff tone and words scared him, he was wrong.
“I mean exactly what I said. Thanks to your guys, Katherine got spooked and is now under the protection of some private security firm out of Dallas.”
“My guys?” The dangerous killer laughed. “Your man was the one who blew up the entire fucking lab.”