by Anna Blakely
“I did it to protect you!”
The words were out before she could stop them.
“Protect me?” Matt snorted. “From what, the embarrassment I’d face from your father and his stuck-up friends?”
“No,” she answered quietly. “Not from that.”
“Then from what?”
She’d never intended on telling him this part. Never wanted him to know how horrible the genes were that ran through her veins. Now that she’d started, Kat knew she needed to finish. Once and for all.
“From going to jail.”
He laughed. Actually laughed. “Jail? Jesus, Katherine.” Matt ran a hand over his hair, causing those top strands to become mussed. “Are you even listening to yourself? You can’t bear to face the fact that you were a selfish, spoiled teenager who wanted someone better, so you keep making shit up as you go along. Grow the fuck up and admit it already.”
More tears fell, but Kat didn’t bother to wipe them away. Woodenly, she opened her mouth and shared the entire, sordid story.
“My father had us followed.”
“What?”
She licked her dry lips. “He hired someone to follow us back then. The man took…pictures.” Kat wrapped her arms around her waist, the feeling of being violated still fresh, even now. “My dad came to me that morning, about an hour before we were supposed to meet at the pier. He showed me the pictures of us making love in the boat house, along with a written statement he’d signed and had notarized. It was addressed to Commander Jennings.”
He frowned. “My unit commander? Why would he—”
“My father gave me an ultimatum that morning, Matt,” she cut him off. “Either I ended things with you that day, or he was going to send those pictures and that statement to Jennings and demand you be brought up on charges of statutory rape.”
“What?” Matt took a step back, the shock on his face telling. “That’s ridiculous. You were…”
“Seventeen,” Kat whispered. “The legal age of consent in California was eighteen. Still is.”
He blinked a few times. While he tried to process what she’d just said, she shared even more.
“The pictures were all date and time stamped. Even if we had tried to fight it, my father’s lawyers would have been able to prove they were legit. And if he’d sent those to your commander…”
“I would’ve been court-martialed.” Matt’s voice turned flat as he finished for her.
Kat nodded sadly. “I couldn’t let that happen. I knew how much being in the Navy meant to you. I never would’ve been able to live with myself if you’d been kicked out…or worse…because of me.”
Understanding finally began to filter through his dark eyes. “So you broke up with me.”
“Yes.”
He walked over to the window facing the front of the cabin and ran a hand over his scruffy jaw. She waited for him to say something more, but he didn’t. He simply kept staring out at nothing.
“I couldn’t tell you the truth,” she said honestly. “My father had a guy watching us on the pier that morning. He said if it even looked as though I was trying to tip you off on what was really going on, the man would call him. If that happened, Dad would have gone straight to the post office and mailed the envelope containing the pictures.”
When Matt remained silent, Kat continued talking, desperate to make him understand.
“Don’t you see?” She moved in closer. “I didn’t end things with you because I didn’t care. I broke up with you because I loved you. I loved you so much.” Kat paused a moment to work past the painful pressure in her throat. “Enough to let you go so you could have the life you always wanted.”
His head turned toward her, his heart breaking all over again before her very eyes. “The only life I ever wanted was with you.”
“I was scared, Matt. I knew my father wasn’t bluffing. He would have had you arrested if I hadn’t gone along with his plan. I couldn’t let that happen to you. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“You could’ve told me.”
“I already explained that. I couldn’t or Dad would’ve—”
“I mean after, Katherine.” He shook his head. “If what you’re telling me is true—”
“It is,” she cut him off again, her eyes pleading with him to believe her. “I swear with every fiber of my being I’m telling you the truth.”
“The statute of limitations on that shit was up a long time ago. You could have come to me then. Told me what your father had forced you to do, rather than continuing to let me believe you were some cold, heartless woman who didn’t give a shit about me.”
“Oh, sure.” She chuckled without a hint of humor. “Because you would’ve believed me, right? Look around, Matt.” Kat gestured to the small space surrounding them. “The only reason you’re even listening to me now is because we’re stuck in this tiny cabin with nowhere else to go. I saw the look in your eyes on the pier that day. I remember every single word you said to me. You talk about how I threw you away like you were nothing, but what about you?”
“Me?” His face twisted with confusion.
“Yes, you. You claim to have been so madly in love with me you were ready to propose. Yet at the first sign of trouble, you bolted.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He closed much of the distance separating them. “You broke up with me,” he growled.
“And you let me!” Kat yelled back. Her chest heaved as she tried to get her point across without crumbling into a million pieces. “You could’ve fought harder, but you didn’t. You claimed to have loved me, but believed me the second I said I didn’t want to be with you anymore.” She swiped angrily at a tear. “What my father did to us was unforgivable, but I didn’t have a choice. You did. And you chose to throw that ring in my face and walk away without even trying to fight for us.”
“What would have been the point?” He threw his arms to his sides before letting them fall back down, his hands slapping loudly against the tight denim stretched across his toned thighs. “By your account, I would’ve gone to prison had I stayed. So whether or not I tried to fight for us wouldn’t have even mattered.”
“It would’ve mattered to me,” her voice cracked. When he threw that ring at her that day, she’d watched him walk away, feeling as though he never really knew her at all.
“I can’t…” Matt swallowed hard before shaking his head. “I can’t be here right now.”
Her stomach tightened. Not because she was afraid of who may come after her, but because deep down, she didn’t want him to go.
“You promised to watch over me.”
“I promised to keep you safe.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket.
“W-who are you calling?”
“Zade. I’ll have him come stay with you.” Without looking at her, he hit a number on his contacts list. “He was a SEAL. He’ll protect you.”
Kat stood at the edge of the living room, her dizzying mind trying to make sense of what was happening.
“Please,” she heard herself say. “Don’t go. Let’s talk about this.”
“Hey, King,” he ignored her. “It’s Turner. I need a favor.”
She listened as Matt explained to Zade what he needed. After, Kat stood frozen while Matt walked over to his bag, securing the items inside.
Without looking at her, he said, “Zade will be here within the hour. I’m going to go outside and check the perimeter and security equipment while I wait.”
“Matt, please,” she tried again.
He zipped the bag shut, stood straight, and flung it over his shoulder. Not making eye contact, he spoke low as he passed by in a rush.
“I won’t leave until he’s here. Lock the door behind me, and don’t open it for anyone but him.”
“Matt!” she hollered after him, but it was too late. He was already gone.
Chapter 9
Matt sat in the quiet of Gabe’s modest home, his head still spinning from the nuclear fucking bomb Kat had
dropped on him less than two hours before.
The trip from the cabin back to Dallas had been challenging to say the least, given his state of mind. No way in hell was he in any shape to safely make the twenty-two-hour drive to Long Beach, California…where Kat’s father lived. Even though that’s exactly where he wanted to go.
Motherfucking bastard.
He still couldn’t believe what that son of a bitch had done. Although, he shouldn’t be surprised.
Thomas Marsh was all about appearances. To him, money equaled power. At the time of his and Kat’s breakup, Matt had neither.
A lot has changed, asshole.
His heart became heavy as he thought of Kat. Once again, the woman had turned his world on its axis, changing more than he was ready to admit.
On his way to the city, Matt had called Gabe and asked if he could stop by his place. His team leader was a few years older and seemed to always have a good, solid head on his shoulders.
Hopefully, the former SEAL would have some sort of wisdom to bestow upon him. A piece of advice on how to handle a situation like this.
After laying the whole shit show of a mess out for his friend, Gabe hadn’t said a word. He’d simply stood and vanished into his kitchen, leaving Matt alone to wonder what the other man was thinking.
“Here.” Gabe walked back into the room carrying two long necks of the man’s favorite beer. “Thought maybe you could use one of these.”
Or twenty. “Thanks,” Matt mumbled as he took the offered bottle.
“So.” Gabe took a swig. “What are you gonna do?”
His shoulders bounced with a loud scoff. “Fuck if I know.” The cold beer soothed his dry throat as he swallowed a large gulp of his own. “All this time, I thought Katherine broke things off because I wasn’t good enough for her. Wasn’t rich enough.” He took another drink before admitting, “I’ve slept my way through half the women in Texas because the idea of actually caring about someone again…”
“Scared the shit out of you?” the inciteful bastard guessed.
He sighed, “Yeah.”
Matt had also thought if he had enough meaningless sex, he’d eventually forget about her.
How’d that work out for you, dickhead?
“I get it,” Gabe nodded. “You were burned once. Only natural to steer clear of any flames after that.”
Something about the way he said it made Matt wonder about the big guy’s past. “You ever been in love?”
“Once.” Gabe’s eyes softened slightly, his deep voice rumbling as he added, “A long time ago.”
Interesting. “What happened?”
The man shrugged. “Right girl. Wrong time.”
Sensing that was all he was going to get out of the man, Matt refocused on his own fucked-up situation. “I don’t know what to do now.”
Gabe thought a moment. “You could start by getting rid of that giant chip on your shoulder.”
Matt scowled. “I don’t have a fucking chip.”
“No. More like a giant-ass boulder.” The man smirked as he drew in another sip.
“Fuck you, Dawson. You have no idea what it’s been like for me.”
“You’re right,” Gabe agreed. “I don’t. All I know is you’ve spent the past decade working hard and playing even harder and for what? So you can prove yourself to a woman you claim to hate but are clearly still in love with? To give a big fuck you to that same woman’s father who, by all accounts, is a narcissistic asshole you shouldn’t give two shits about?”
Goddamnit, the man was right. And it pissed Matt the hell off.
“I’m not still in love with her,” he lied.
Gabe’s raised brow told Matt the guy knew he was full of shit. “Then why are you so upset?”
“What?”
“If you don’t still have feelings for Katherine, why does this bother you so much?”
“Because I…” He trailed off, not knowing how to answer that question.
“It’s okay to admit you still love her, Matt. Especially now that you know the truth. It’s also okay to want to see where you two can go from here. To hope for a future you thought was dead and buried.”
Matt tipped the bottle back, swallowing its remaining contents to keep from having to respond.
“Look, man,” Gabe went on. “I’m far from being an expert when it comes to relationships. Lord knows, I made more than my share of mistakes with my ex. But it’s obvious this thing with Katherine is tearing you up. Did she hurt you? Absolutely. But you’ve gotta look at why she did what she did. If what she told you is true, that woman saved your ass.”
“Why the hell do you think I left?” Matt strode angrily across the room. “I couldn’t face her, Gabe. I’ve been such a dick to her. Said horrible, unforgivable things because I thought…” His fucking voice cracked.
“So apologize. If she’s the kind of woman who deserves to be with you, she’ll listen. And from the way she looked at you in that conference room, I bet she’ll be more than willing to hear what you have to say.”
“That’s just it,” Matt shot back. “I don’t know what to say to her. I don’t…” He paused a moment. “I don’t know what to do now.”
“What’s your gut say?”
“My gut’s telling me to go to California and beat the shit out of her manipulating jackass of a father.”
“Then what?”
Matt frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Say you do go beat the guy’s ass. What happens after? Between you and Katherine, I mean.”
“I don’t…” He shook his head. “I-I don’t know.”
“Did you sleep with her again?”
Matt shot his friend a look, but before he could deny it, Gabe gave him a knowing grin.
“That’s what I thought.”
“Didn’t mean anything,” he lamely shrugged it off.
“Right.” Gabe tipped his bottle toward him. “Keep telling yourself that.”
Trust me, I’ve been trying to.
“Sex aside, you obviously believe her story about her dad’s blackmailing scheme.”
“Yeah.” Matt nodded. “I do.”
He wanted to ignore what Kat had told him. To believe it was nothing more than another lie to go along with the pseudo marriage. But as much as his mind wanted to deny it, his heart knew she was telling the truth.
It was there, in her heartbroken, tortured eyes. Kat had crushed both their dreams that day on the pier, but she’d done so in order to protect him. He didn’t even know what to do with that.
For years, he’d hated the woman when he should have been worshiping her. Had despised a girl who, even at the young age of seventeen, was mature enough—brave enough—to sacrifice her own happiness in order to keep his ass out of the brig.
All those hateful, hurtful words he’d spewed at her, both in the past and the present, came rushing back to him. God, he felt so sick at heart.
Not only did Matt hate himself for saying those things in the first place, but also because rather than call him out on his shit, Kat had stood tall the entire time, stoically taking everything on her shoulders as if she’d deserved it.
And all the while, she’d been every bit as heartbroken as he was. Probably even more so.
More than that, the incredible, amazing woman had spent all this time knowing he despised her for making the decision that had saved his career. Hell, his life.
Matt swallowed down a rush of burning bile as he stared out Gabe’s living room window. His breathing shallowed and his mouth filling with saliva from the nausea filling his gut.
Raising a shaking hand to his face, his fingertips bit into the stubble covering his hardened jaw as he stood there, trying like hell not to puke and wondering where he went from here.
You know exactly where you’re going.
For once, Matt didn’t feel like punching out that tiny voice. Mainly because, it was right. If he could convince his boss to let him borrow the company jet, he had only one destination in
mind.
Right on cue, a loud knock came from the other side of Gabe’s front door.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.” Jake stepped past Gabe as he opened the door. “Traffic was a bitch.”
“Boss.” Matt went to the other man and held out his hand.
“Turner.” Jake reciprocated the gesture.
“Hey, Matt.” Trevor Matthews, Alpha Team’s medic and Jake’s second in command—followed Jake into the home’s entryway.
After calling Gabe on the way here, Matt had immediately called Jake, too, asking if he could meet him here. He’d told Jake Zade had taken over his bodyguard duties but wanted to wait to explain the rest until they could talk face to face.
The fact that both men had come didn’t bode well for Matt.
Trevor, a former Delta operator like Jake, stood nearly eye-level with him. His short, dark hair and perfectly symmetrical features made him what everyone on the team called Hollywood handsome. Matt had to agree.
Like him, the guy could probably have any woman he wanted. Having seen the way Trevor looked when he spoke to or about his wife, however, Matt knew the other man only had eyes for her.
He’d been like that with Katherine, once. Maybe you can be again, now that you know the truth. Ignoring his subconscious, Matt shook Trevor’s hand, too.
“Sorry this one’s been such a headache for you,” Trevor offered.
Along with Gabe, the other two men took a seat in the living room. Praying he wasn’t about to be fired, Matt chose to stand.
Sitting with a semi-relaxed posture, Jake looked up at him from his place on the couch. “I’m sure you’d like to give me a big ‘I told you so’ speech right about now.”
Matt blinked and shook his head. “No, sir. Actually, I wanted to apologize.”
“For what?”
After airing out all his embarrassing dirty laundry, including owning up to having sex with a client, Matt stared back at his boss in earnest.
“I let my personal issues with Katherine affect my ability to do this job. I called in King to take over without getting prior permission, and I—”