That was when I stopped thinking this was fun. And I stopped thinking this was fun because no one insulted my man.
“I’m in love with him,” I announced and Brad’s lip curled again.
“He’s twisted your –” Brad started.
“No, he hasn’t,” I cut him off. “You did. You fucked Tina, you fucked Hayley, you’ve never been faithful to me and you made me feel unworthy. You did it on purpose. You’re even doing it right now with the way you’re looking down on me, on Tate and on this bar. You’re an asshole and I regret every minute I spent with you. Every… single… minute.”
“Ree, you –” Brad started and I advanced on him a step and leaned into his face.
“Don’t you tell me what I think,” I hissed. “You don’t know what I think.” I leaned back. “Do it, Brad,” I invited. “Make the divorce null and void. I want you to. I want you to because I want to divorce your ass again and take you to the cleaners. I’ll get a private detective and dig out all your dirt. Tina, Hayley and all the ones in between. I’ll take everything you have. Do it, I can’t wait. Tate and I need new countertops and carpet and I like the idea of walking on you and slicing vegetables on you. Go ahead, Brad, do it.”
“That would not be good,” Hayley whispered and my eyes swung to her.
And for the first time, I saw her, straight into her black soul.
And seeing that, I told her, “You’re a joke.”
“What?” she was still whispering.
“You’re a vulture but the thing is, you aren’t very good at it.”
Her back straightened, her eyes narrowed and she came right out and showed her true colors when she stated, “Good enough to get your man.”
“Right, good enough to get that,” I pointed at Brad. “But, see, I’m good enough to get that.” And I pointed at Tate. “And that, darlin’, is something you’ll never have because a good man will see straight through you and want nothing to do with that and that’s just plain, old sad.”
Hayley stared at me then she looked at Brad and asked incredulously, “Is she really what you want when you can have me?”
“He only wants me because he can’t have me,” I educated Hayley. “And he no longer wants you because he knows he can have you and he knows someone better than him doesn’t want you. Jeez, Hayley,” I muttered impatiently, “wake up and get a clue.”
She opened her mouth to speak but Tate got there before her.
“Five minutes are up, Ace,” Tate cut in, I looked at him then I saw Steg, Wings and Jim-Billy come off their stools like soldiers who had just been given orders.
I nodded to Tate and looked at Brad, deciding to sum up. “I don’t hate you. I hate her.” I pointed to Hayley and my eyes went to her. “Women have it hard enough, we don’t need our sisters behaving like you. It was up to me, we’d take away your membership card.” Nadine laughed softly at this but I looked back to Brad. “But you, I don’t feel anything for you. I just want you to get out of my life so I can live it. And you, you’re so full of yourself, after taking so much from me for so long and not giving anything in return, not love, not attention, not affection, not understanding, not even birthday presents, you won’t give me even this. So you want to take more so you can try to save face? Do it. I don’t care. It’s all the same to me because while you’re making a fool of yourself, I get to go home to Jonas and Tate and make them dinner and watch TV and climb into bed with my old man and you don’t exist until you make your presence known and then you’re just a nuisance and a reason for Tate and me to share a laugh because just like her,” I jerked my head at Hayley, “in the end, you’re just a joke.”
“You can’t make me believe you honestly want this life,” Brad returned.
“Brad, it’s so beautiful, I not only want it, I’d fight and die to keep it,” I shot back.
Not unwilling but completely unable to believe I’d pick a life without him, Brad kept going. “You know I can give you more than he ever can.”
“You’re wrong,” I whispered, looked him straight in the eye and kept whispering when I pulled out the big guns. “I sleep.”
Brad’s face got pale.
“What?” he asked, but he knew what, he knew exactly what. I’d aimed, I’d fired and I’d hit the bulls-eye.
“Like a baby, straight through. Tate’s in bed with me, I don’t wake up.”
Brad stared at me, his face blanched of color, his expression stuck in a flinch. “Ree –”
“Straight through,” I repeated quietly. “He gives me peace.”
“Darling –”
“Peace, Brad, which means he gives me everything and you never, never gave me that.” I shook my head. “Not even close.”
“Honey –”
“Please give me one thing, just one thing. Leave me to my peace,” I whispered.
Brad held my gaze and I saw his throat working and I remembered, a long time ago, when my insomnia bothered Brad like it bothered Tate. I remembered a time when he wanted to make me better. I remembered a long, long time ago when he thought he, too, could fix me and give me peace and he wanted that for me and he wanted to be the one who gave it to me.
And I remembered that it didn’t take long for him to stop wanting that.
And I knew Brad remembered too because a miracle occurred in the instant he did.
Bradford Whitaker finally became human.
I knew when he asked, “Who’s Jonas?”
“Tate’s son,” I answered and Brad closed his eyes, pain, fleeting but real, sliced through his features because, a long time ago, he’d wanted to give me that too and then he didn’t.
He opened his eyes again.
“We should have had children,” he whispered.
“We didn’t,” I replied.
His throat worked again but his eyes didn’t leave mine when he admitted quietly, “I miss you, Ree.”
“I’m sorry, Brad, but I can’t do anything about that.”
He stared at me for long moments, his face still pale, his eyes wounded before he finally nodded.
“You done?” Tate impatiently demanded to know and Brad looked at him.
“One thing.” He was still talking quietly.
“You got one thing then you get out,” Tate allowed and Brad’s gaze came back to me.
“I loved you,” he stated, I sensed Tate moving but I didn’t look from Brad.
“Brad –”
“I did, Ree, swear to God. I just don’t know where I lost my way.”
Tate was suddenly there, at my side and partially in front of me.
“You’re done,” Tate declared and Brad looked up at him and you could have knocked me over with a feather because another miracle was happening.
Now Brad was looking at Tate like he was a god.
“She sleeps,” he whispered, visibly swallowed and repeated almost inaudibly, “She sleeps.” He looked at me and finished, “I wanted to give you that.”
I felt tears prick my eyes as I watched Brad, my ex-husband and a man I once loved, it was without reason but I loved him, have his epiphany but the tears didn’t form and Brad said not another word, he just turned and walked straight out of the bar.
“Get out,” Tate ordered, my body jerked and I looked up at him to see he was scowling at Hayley.
“I –” she began.
Tate leaned forward and bit off, “Bitch… get… out.”
Hayley stared at him, eyes wide then she looked at me then she ducked her head and quickly scuttled out.
The door barely closed on her before Tate’s arm was around my shoulders and he curled me to his front. His other arm wrapped around my waist as my arms went to hold him loosely at the waist and I tipped my head back to look at him.
“You okay?” he asked.
“No,” I answered and his arms gave me a squeeze.
“Think it’s over, Ace,” he said softly.
“That’s not what I’m not okay about,” I replied, his brows went up, I got on my
toes and whispered, “Captain, you told everyone I go down on you in the morning.”
His face relaxed into a grin. “You do.”
“And about the shower.”
“I get to do that.”
“And about me... um, until I can’t breathe.”
“It’s the truth, Ace.”
“I know but –”
“Needed to make my point, babe.”
“Did you need to make it like that?”
“Well, yeah,” he said like that was a given and I should know it.
“Why?” I asked, because it was not a given in any way, shape or form.
“It’s a guy thing,” he explained.
“Just so you know, it’s a girl thing not to have private time shared in her place of work,” I replied, “or anywhere, for that matter.”
“Why not?” Tate asked.
“Why not?” I repeated.
He grinned again. “Babe, I just made you a legend.”
“But –”
“You think those boys don’t wish you were in their beds suckin’ them off every mornin’?”
I glared at him and pointed out, “I don’t do it every morning.”
Tate grinned yet again.
I tried a different strategy. “That’s between you and me.”
Tate was still grinning when he noted, “Not anymore.”
I was realizing he not only thought this was funny, he didn’t think anything was wrong with sharing private moments with our bar regulars. And this made me forget the scene we just had and it made me get very, very angry… at Tate.
“Captain,” I started, sounding as angry as I was, “I understand that drama was a drama and you sometimes don’t guard your words, but you should know, I didn’t like what you shared.”
Tate was unaffected by my obvious anger and I knew this because he returned, “And you should know, Ace, I could hire a sky writer to share the way you light up for me, I’d do it.”
I felt my eyes get wide and my body stiffen. “Are you nuts?”
“Nope.”
“You are.”
“Babe, again, guy thing.”
“No it is not.”
He started chuckling and I kept glaring.
“Oh yeah, it definitely is,” he stated.
“So, essentially, you’re pissing in your corner and not just doing it to claim your territory with Brad but with everyone.”
His arms tightened, bringing me deeper into his body. “I wouldn’t put it like that, but, yeah. Essentially.”
“The alpha male,” I muttered irritably.
“Absolutely,” Tate muttered back with total unconcern.
“You just lost my mouth in the morning,” I hissed and he burst out laughing. “I’m not joking,” I warned into his laughter and he dipped his face close to mine.
“Right, baby, I’ll believe that when it happens.”
“It will,” I snapped, he shook his head then dipped it further so his nose could tweak my ear.
Then he spoke there. “You’re addicted to my cock, Ace, you like suckin’ me off more than I like you doin’ it.”
I jerked my head back and stated, “That is just not true.”
Though, I had to admit, maybe it was.
I knew he was teasing by the way his eyes were dancing.
“Just you wait and see,” I threatened.
His eyes danced more, showing he clearly didn’t believe me then I watched them sober.
“It’s over, baby,” he whispered.
I glared at him some more then I looked at the door. Then I sighed and relaxed in his arms.
“Yeah,” I whispered back.
“You love me?” he asked softly and my eyes went to his.
“Yes,” I replied then shared, “though, I will state, I do so despite you sometimes being a jerk.”
His grin came back. “I can live with that.”
While he was speaking, I heard the door open and I looked that way to see Frank, in uniform, walk in.
One look at him and I felt my body get tight again at the same time I knew Tate had seen Frank because I felt his body do the same.
“Christ almighty,” Tate muttered and looked down at me. “Fall break, you and Jonas and me are goin’ to a beach.”
I wanted to go to a beach with Jonas and Tate and I wanted to share that fact with Tate but I couldn’t tear my eyes off Frank who was approaching us.
“Tate –” I whispered.
“In Australia,” Tate went on.
“Tate –”
“We might not come back,” Tate concluded.
“Tate, buddy, gotta talk to you, private, in the office,” Frank said and I gave Tate a squeeze.
“You got the bar?” Tate asked and I looked up to see he was addressing me.
I started to answer but Frank spoke.
“Lauren should come with.”
My arms gave Tate another squeeze, this was automatic as my eyes shot to Frank.
Frank didn’t meet my eyes, he looked at Jim-Billy. “Billy, do me a favor, call Krystal in, yeah?”
“Oh my God,” I whispered because something wasn’t right and whatever that something was, it really wasn’t right.
“Frank, what –?” Tate started.
“Do it,” Frank ordered, Jim-Billy nodded and Nadine started digging in her purse.
“I got a phone, Jim-Billy, I got her number,” Nadine said quietly.
Frank wasted no time, he moved to the hall and Tate’s arm dropped from my shoulders but his hand curled tight around mine and we followed. Frank stopped at the office door and waited. Tate dug his keys out of his pocket and opened the door, holding it for me to precede him. I switched on the lights before I took four steps in and turned. Tate was at my side in a second. Frank closed the door and turned to us.
“I don’t even know…” Frank started then trailed off.
“Just fuckin’ say it,” Tate growled and Frank’s eyes latched on Tate’s.
“May-December murderer, Tate, buddy, fuck…” Frank yanked his fingers through his hair before his next, heinous words came out. “Buddy, he got Neeta.”
My body jerked like I’d suffered a blow and, at that moment, I could swear that it had when the pain sliced through my innards.
But Tate didn’t move, not a muscle.
“Come again?” he whispered.
Frank’s eyes came to me then went straight back to Tate and he said gently, “She’s dead, buddy.”
“Oh my God,” I whispered, my stomach tightening, my heart constricting, my head filling so full of thoughts about Tate, Jonas, Pop, Wood, Stella, even Neeta and Blake, my head so full, it instantly began to pound.
Frank took a step forward, saying, “Tate –”
Tate lifted a hand, palm toward Frank, and Frank stopped moving.
“Buddy –” Frank muttered.
“Does Pop know?” Tate asked.
“Only you,” Frank answered.
“Fuck,” Tate whispered, his voice tortured.
I turned to him and started to put my hands on him. “Baby –”
“Fuck!” he roared and walked passed me, my hands glancing off his body as he did and he picked up the desk lamp and tossed it, side armed, it flew across the room and crashed against the wall.
I rushed to him when he swept up the laptop Krys had bought after I presented my stock spreadsheet to her and he barely missed me when that followed the lamp, flying to pieces after it hurtled across the room and smashed against the wall.
I put my hands on him, one at his abs, the fingers of the other one curling around his wrist as I whispered urgently, “Tate, honey, stop.”
Surprisingly he stopped, looked down at me and I winced when the burning power of emotion coming out of his eyes seared right through me.
“Baby,” I breathed the only thing my brain could think to say.
Then his arms came around me, one at my neck, one at my waist and he pulled me to him so violently, my head snapped back and my bod
y slammed into his. He shoved his face in my neck, I slid my arms around him and held on.
“Hold on,” I urged.
“Fuck,” he whispered into my neck and his arms got tighter.
“Hold on, baby,” I whispered back as my arms got tighter around him and the tears welled over, spilling down my cheeks.
“Jonas,” he whispered.
“I know,” I said quickly.
“Fuck,” Tate repeated.
“Hold on,” I begged.
He held on and I held him while he was doing it.
After awhile, I pulled in breath and advised using the word, “Band-aid.”
His head came up and he looked down at me, his eyes carrying anguish.
“Like a band-aid,” I said gently. “We have to tell them quick, inflict the pain, make it fast, so we can start to deal with it.”
“Right,” he said.
“Call everyone to the house,” I ordered softly.
“Right,” he repeated.
“Baby?” I called and he didn’t answer, didn’t let me go, he just looked at me. I lifted a hand, put it to his jaw and whispered, “Love you.”
His eyes closed slowly, he opened them and they were no less bleak. He let me go, stepped back and his hand went to his back pocket.
Then he pulled out his phone.
* * * * *
Wood came to the house first because Tate arranged it that way.
Tate told Wood on the deck while I made coffee.
Then the sliding glass door opened, Tate came through and his eyes came to me.
“Go to him,” he ordered on a growl.
I nodded and moved immediately to do as Tate said.
Wood was leaning into his hands on the railing at the end of the deck, his eyes pointed to the trees.
I walked up to him and stopped a few feet away.
“Wood,” I called.
“Get the fuck away, Laurie.”
My head twisted to the side and I pulled in breath.
Then I walked to him and placed a hand gently on his back.
“Wood,” I whispered.
“Laurie, fuckin’ leave me be,”
My other hand went to his hip and I rested my forehead against my hand on his back.
“Wood,” I whispered.
Wood didn’t reply and I didn’t move.
This lasted a long time.
Then Wood said, “She was a goddamned mess.”
“I know.”
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