by Jamie Knight
I can't tell if my promise worked, but she nods and picks her book up again.
I kiss her cheek softly and go back to work.
I can tell by her expression that she thinks I am joking when I say that I will protect her in every way, whether that means quitting my job or marrying her, but I'm not.
I've never felt this way about anyone before. My feelings for her grow stronger each day. I'll do everything in my power to keep her safe and keep her with me.
She sticks close to me for the rest of the day, until at night we curl up in bed together and watch a movie.
From the way she smiles at me, I know we both feel satisfied and happy in each other’s arms.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Chapter 9
Matt
The next morning, I wake up happy and in a great mood. After a quick shower, I decide to put off work for a while. She wasn't in bed when I woke up, and I need to see her again. I walk out of my room and go down the hall to hers.
The door is already open, so I go inside looking for her. I want cuddles and sex, but she isn’t there.
I'm a little disappointed, but I decide to be patient and wait. I look around the room. I like how she fixed it up with her things. The fact that she made herself comfortable here makes me happy.
An open notebook on her dresser catches my attention. I'm about to look away when I see my name written on the paper. I walk over and pick it up.
I read through it and my heart drops. My blood turns cold in my veins. I sit on the edge of her bed with the notebook. I read through everything again, starting with the title "Reasons being with Matt is a bad idea."
My mouth and throat go dry as my eyes jump to a note she scrawled at the bottom of the page.
"Being with him might be fine for fun but not for anything permanent." I close the notebook angrily and slam it down on the dresser. After all we did and shared, after everything I promised her, how could she write those things about me?
I guess I was wrong about the emotions and connection that I thought we had. I feel so hurt and betrayed. I need to get out of here; I don't want to think of her right now.
I go to my room and change into my sweats. I need to go outside for a run. I run as hard as I can, my feet pounding into the ground.
I breathe the fresh air deep into my lungs. I run the entire expanse of my property two times. After completing the double circuit, I stop to take a breath and think.
I can’t believe that, after being a player my whole life and not wanting commitment, as soon as I find who I thought was my one true love, I discover that she is that critical of me and just wants a fling. Is this a joke or some kind of karma?
I shake my head and try to push away the crushed feelings and hurt. I start running again, this time back to the house. It's almost evening now.
As I run, I tell myself that I need to leave her alone. It's obviously not going to work between us. I only want someone who really wants to be with me. I realize now that that is the type of person that I need in my life.
After reading her notebook, I'm convinced she is the exact opposite of that type of person. It's sad that I ever thought she was.
As I reach the house, I realize running didn't help as much as I thought it would. I still feel crushed. I tell myself that I need to get over it and move on. I reach the front door and walk inside. I see her sitting on the couch, and I don't know how to react to her. I look away from her and kick off my shoes.
I hear her jump and ask worriedly, "Where have you been? Are you alright?"
I look at her and everything comes out.
"Why do you care? I thought you'd be happy I was gone for a while, since I'm so tall and intimidating?" I ask.
I can't keep the anger from seeping into my voice.
She looks hurt, then shocked.
"Oh Matt, I'm so sorry," she apologizes.
She tries to put her arms around me, but I pull away from her.
"You don't understand," she tries to explain. "Those notes were from when I first got here. I wrote them down because I was trying to convince myself not to fall for you. The more I felt myself falling, the more I wrote, to try to talk myself out of it. I was wrong and I'm sorry."
I can hear tears in her voice, but I tell myself not to fall for it. She reaches for me again, and I shrug away.
"I'm going to the office to work," I grate out harshly.
I walk out the living room and go to my desk, slamming the door behind me. I sit down, but I know I won't be able to concentrate on anything. I feel far too agitated right now.
I sigh heavily and lay my head on the desk. I close my eyes and let the cool feeling of the wood relax me. I feel a very strong headache coming on because of all this.
I know she is probably crying out there, but I tell myself to be strong and not think about her right now. I am really hurt.
I can’t believe that anyone would write or believe those things about me. I think I'm most hurt about the "fling" comment.
Even if it was before we were together, how can I trust her knowing that she was thinking that? I really wanted things to be serious with her. I guess I was wrong about everything.
After I unleash my storm of emotions, a great sense of tiredness overwhelms me, along with the massive headache. I groan, then pull open my desk drawer.
I take out a little bottle of aspirin. I shake two capsules and swallow them. I close the bottle and put it back. That will help my head, so now I only have to worry about how to distract my mind.
I turn on the light and start sorting out the projects we had worked on recently. Some need to be copied and shared with the other partners. I quickly go through them, marking some as priority and leaving the others in a pile.
I feel my headache subside, as well as my emotions. The job usually helps me with that. Now I just feel tired, mentally and physically. The run I took earlier played a big part in that. I haven't exerted myself like that in a really long time.
It's late by the time I finish work, but I'm not ready to see her again.
I turn off the light and fall asleep on the small couch in my office.
I’m not sure what will happen next and part of me doesn’t want to ever have to find out.
I just want to hide in here forever.
Chapter 10
Cassie
I've never felt this sad in my life.
It’s been two days and Matt is still keeping his distance from me.
He spends all his time working in the study.
He only communicates with me by sending me emails about what he needs. The coldness makes me feel so heartbroken.
I can't believe how quickly things changed. I miss the intimacy that had developed so quickly between us.
Now, I don't know if we will ever be able to get that back. I sigh sadly and hug my pillow to my chest. It's not the same as holding him.
I don't know what to think.
I just can't believe it's going to end like this. Especially when it only barely started. I have no idea what to do or say. He won't accept my apologies or anything.
I was so stupid to have written those reasons down like that, especially since I'm starting to think that there was nothing I could have done to keep myself from falling for him.
I guess the feelings I have for him are useless now. It hurts to think about that. I never saw this coming, and I wish things didn't happen this way.
I'm so sorry, Matt.
I grab my notebook and rip up those papers into tiny pieces. I throw them into the trash can by the bed.
I can feel tears building up behind my eyes, but I blink them away. I sit back on the bed and stare at the door, willing him to come to me. I know it's no use. I sigh sadly. I feel so horrible that it’s over between us.
I don't think I can bear this anymore. It's just too painful to be this close to him and not be able to be with him.
I wonder if I should just leave?
Maybe that would be best
, seeing as there is nothing going on between us anymore. I push the pillow away and get up off the bed. Though my heart is sad, I know leaving might be what I have to do.
I get up to start packing my stuff. As I walk by the door, something on the floor catches my attention. I see that there's a bunch of little papers stuffed under it. That makes me curious, so I walk over and pick them up.
I look through them and see that they are from Matt.
I can feel my heart fill up with hope. I can't stop myself from feeling like that.
As I read them, I start smiling.
I know that no reason I could come up with could ever stop me from falling for him now.
It was silly of me to ever try.
The bits of paper are his own notes about why being with him is the best idea. I laugh a little. As I read through them, I start to feel better about all that has happened between us.
Sure, everyone knows that being with your boss isn’t the best idea – especially if he’s too tall and doesn’t talk enough – but why not try it out?
Perhaps it will turn out to be a better idea than you thought.
Perhaps he is thinking that even though you are his employee, and even though you are feisty and write negative things about him in your journal, that it’s still worth giving it a try.
Perhaps he wants it to work out for the best despite all reason and logic, too.
My heart soars as I read what he wrote.
I guess this is his way of saying that he still wants me?
I hope so.
I realize that I need to see him right now.
Deep down, I can’t contain my excitement about that thought. I don't know that I want to. He is all that I want, now and forever.
It was lust at first, but now I see that my feelings for him have gone beyond that. I think it's because all that we have done and experienced during these weeks together.
Honestly, aside from the fight, these were the best weeks of my life. I wouldn't have spent this quarantine any other way.
It was like living in a dream these past few weeks. If we can go back to what we were, I honestly don't want it to end. I take comfort in knowing that we still have a chance at a future together.
I put the notes down on the dresser and hurry out of the room. I go through the whole house looking for him. He is in his office like always. I pause in his doorway. I'm a little nervous about being around him because of what happened, but I am so happy he still wants to be with me.
He looks up from his work and gives me a small smile. I melt and run to him. I jump into his lap. We hug each other tightly, and he kisses me all over my face and neck. My body is hungry for his touch.
"I'm so sorry, Matt. Please forgive me," I beg him softly.
"No Cassie, it was my fault. I'm sorry for being stubborn and taking a couple days to get out of my funk and realize that I truly love you," he says in between kisses.
"Oh Matt, I love you too."
I don't want to let him go, or be without him ever again. I know that he feels the same way about me now.
We can't stand it anymore. We keep kissing each other hungrily, and start tearing off each other's clothes. I don't want to waste any time on playing or teasing each other. I want him, and I want him now.
He clears off his desk with one sweep and spreads me out on it, naked. My legs are already open for him - I've been waiting for him for so long. I moan as he slides inside of me. He feels better than I remember.
"Harder, faster!" I cry out as he starts thrusting.
I don't want to take it slow today. These past few days have been torture without him. I don't ever want to go through that agony again. I will do everything I can to prevent something like this from happening in the future. I doubt it will, since there is no question as to my feelings for him now. I can feel the sincerity in his love for me too.
He pins me against the desk and thrusts me as hard as he can. Honestly, it feels so good. I never thought I would be the type to like it rough, but I seem to like anything that involves him touching my body.
I wrap my legs around him as I start to feel my body building to the climax. He senses it too and thrusts faster. I cry out his name as we both cum. I collapse against the desk in a pile of tears. He shushes me gently and holds me close.
I'm crying. I realize how much I love him and have missed him these past few days. He senses that and kisses my tears away until they stop.
He cuddles me until I feel like myself again. We dress ourselves and are about to get back to work together when his laptop rings. It appears to be someone calling him on FaceTime. I watch curiously as he checks who it is.
"It's my father," he tells me.
"Oh no! I should hide!" I exclaim, as I try to leave the room.
Matt grabs me by the hand and pulls me to him.
"No, stay with me," he instructs me.
He answers the call on the last ring.
"Hello, father," he starts.
His father greets him with a hearty, "Hello, son. Just wanted to check in on you and see how work is going."
"Oh, so far so good…" Matt replies.
They discuss some of the cases we have been working on, and Matt shares some news from the office. It sounds like his father is a lawyer too. I look away once the conversation dies down. I can feel his dad looking at me curiously.
"So, glad to hear everything is going okay then," his father says.
Matt clears his throat.
"Actually Dad, things are better than okay," he says, putting his arm around me.
I look at him and blush.
"Oh? What makes you say that?" his dad asks curiously.
"Well, because I have a serious girlfriend now. I want you to meet her. This is Cassie," he announces proudly, as he kisses my cheek.
I blush at him again, then wave at the computer screen. I feel so embarrassed and caught off-guard. I don't know what to do. This could be an uncomfortable situation. Matt seems pretty relaxed about it though.
That's a good sign. It means he is secure in our relationship already. That was fast, but I'm not complaining.
His father seems surprised, and he is quiet for several moments.
Eventually he clears his throat and asks Matt, "Are you sure you know what you are doing, son?"
Matt nods at the screen.
"I have never been surer of anything in my life."
I'm shocked by how sincere he sounds, but also very happy. I never imagined feeling so much love for someone, or having them return those feelings for me. My heart seems to be soaring on wings of joy.
It's nice to finally feel what I have only read about in books or heard others talk about. I can't keep the proud smile off my face as he finishes his explanation.
After a brief contemplation, which lasts for a few seconds, his father nods his assent. They discuss more about business as I stand in the background listening in peaceful silence until Matt is done.
Once he hangs up with his father, I go to his side. I'm still worried that our relationship might cause problems for him, so I ask him about it.
"Should you be introducing me as your girlfriend after only two and a half weeks together?"
He just laughs and hugs me close to him.
"Honestly, you have driven me insane too long for me to keep it quiet now."
I have to laugh as well. I can't believe I got so lucky as to end up with a man as wonderful as him. He smiles at me.
"What are you thinking?" he asks. I grin up at him.
"I feel like a princess with you," I admit, but then I feel silly.
He responds by picking me up in his arms. I giggle softly, which makes him smile more. He carries me to my room. I realize that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
After yet another round of love-making, we lie in bed together. I start to wonder about our future. I think about his promise to me.
After his confession to his dad, it seems like he meant it, but what lies ahead still scares me.
I don't want him to lose anything because of me, but at the same time I know there is no way I can be without him. I just have to trust that whatever comes our way can be handled.
There are so many things I want to say to him now. The biggest one is that I am so thankful that he asked me here. I'm happy at the way things worked out for us in the end. And, I love how peaceful I feel whenever I am with him.
I hope that I can make him feel that way too for the rest of our lives together. I can't imagine sharing these thoughts or feelings with anyone else. For me, there is no one else.
Honestly, ever since I first laid eyes on him at the office, there never has been. I guess deep down I always knew that I wanted to be with him. I don't think either of us were expecting to feel this strongly though.
He wraps his arms around me, and I relax. There is something so comforting about just being here with him. I feel my eyes getting heavy, so I start to think happy thoughts. I want to have good dreams as I sleep. I picture living like this with him for years and years to come.
I picture our marriage, maybe some kids down the line.
That would be nice.
I realize that I really do want everything with him. I hear him snoring softly behind me, so I decide that I can talk to him about it when we wake up. I feel myself falling asleep.
This has been the best and happiest day that I have ever had in my life.
It's amazing to find a person that completes you and makes you feel so much.
Now that I’ve found that person, I’m never letting mine go.
Epilogue
Cassie
A year later
It has been eight months since a cure for Coronavirus was developed and the lockdown ended for everyone.
I have never been happier.
Matt and I have been living together the whole time.
I think one of the most exciting moments was when he proposed to me. It was very romantic, consisting of a trip to the beach, where we had dinner and he got down on his knee and asked me to officially become his, always and forever.